So what happened at the Spring Fling, and why did Sunset Shimmer go to all the trouble of destroying the friendships of five girls who were no threat to her?
The Ponyville Business District, home of Rarity's boutique and the Cakes' coffee shop, is threatened by a greedy land developer's plans to build a new mall. Rarity decides to use the Spring Fling to promote her business by running against Sunset Shimmer. She couldn't have anticipated the horrible things that would follow...
This story contains adult situations, but nothing explicit enough to require the Mature tag.
Chapters (3)
You know you don't have to change the names like Africa into Hoofrica. This is the human world isn't it?
Well, my first foray into Equestria Girls fiction turned out to be a great read. Upvote, fave, all my money, etc.
I found the sexual stuff more shocking and interesting in the second chapter than in the conclusion. I don't think the conclusion had quite the impact it should have. I also wish Flash had taken the chance to break up with Sunset Shimmer at the end, but I suppose that would have contradicted the movie, which I believe says he broke up with her only a few weeks before the fall dance... gah, he still should have broken up with her, damn it.
Edit: One more thing. Why the "Sad" tag? It wasn't really sad, it was just a shitfest. Tragedy, sure, but not Sad.
3350746 It isn't Earth. It's the alternate reality of Equestria.
3350939 On the sexual tones: I didn't want to oversell the finale. It could've been a LOT worse, but given it happened at a school dance, I didn't want to push things too far. Then again, Luna and Celestia are the most pathetic school administrators EVER, so...
And yeah, I tried to make everything synch up as well as possible with the movie. As for the tags...just covering the bases.
3351078
Oh, about the conclusion. What I meant to communicate, though I did a poor job of it, was that I felt the sexual stuff in the preceding chapter made the sexual stuff in the conclusion feel less shocking as a result. In other words, I wish the conclusion had not had the sexual angle at all. I think it could have been more impactful if it had focused on some other means of humiliation.
But I have no idea what other means that might be. And I do still love this story. Blargh.
Jeez. Sunset shimmer is a whore.
Ah, another fine addition on the Saga of Thirty Moons. Godspeed my friend.
I'm surprised that you gave Sunset limits to which she will go. Nice 'Carrie' reference btw. My hat is tipped to you, sir.
Worst. Principals. EVER!!!!!!!
WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM????????
Holy hell are the principals useless. At least that injunction worked...
Good story, and rather plausible, too. Nice work!
Can you delete this story please.
5393318 I'd rather not, actually. Despite our falling out, I'm rather proud of how this story turned out. You may have commissioned it, but once it went up on the site, it became part of a larger collective of my works.
Nor can I simply remove Zile from the story without a LOT of work that I have neither the time or the inclination to deal with.
Whatever issues exist between us, they don't give you the right to ask me to delete a story you commissioned. Once it went up on this site and my site, our transaction was concluded.
5393318 After a conversation with Tennis Match Fan concerning that one story, "Twilight's Bad Day", and your reasons for demanding its removal...I have decided to decline to remove this story.
While I can see the validity of your viewpoint: you commissioned this story, so it's "yours"...the fact that I chose to integrate this work into a larger body of my own work, coupled with the time and effort I put into writing it, leads me to feel I have more right to decide the fate of this story than you do. From my perspective, as soon as our transaction was concluded and this story was published, that ended any privelege you had to "kill" this story.
I did, however, delete that other story you commissioned. It was terrible and I personally hated it. But this? This stays.
Oh shit, this ain't good.
And I just realized that everybody was wearing boots in EG.
That's enough internet for today.
Damn.
Ouch. 😬
This is not gonna end will. 😰
And the is still more to come sadly.
Oh no! 😰
That's probably how this happened likely. 🤔
Not to mention he had help.
It's not that simple scootaloo. 😒
That is just terrible!
Your gonna regret what your doing flash.
I don't like where this is going. 😥
Sunset!
Aaaaaaand it just got worse! 😱
That doesn't belong to you, you don't earn it! 😡
She technically took it from Vp Luna so I don't think it counts. 😒
Sometimes you can't always get what you want.