Very interesting, tracking.

there is no such thing as a second person narrative, (not trying to be mean) there are 1st person (this one) and 3rd person (omniscient and limited omniscient)

>>277023277023  I was always under the impression that using "I" was the defining characteristic for first person.  Third person revolves around a narrator who is not part of the story.  A first person story is someone telling you what they did.  "I went to the store."

A third person perspective involves someone telling you what someone else did.  "John went to the store."

A second person perspective is someone telling you what you did.  "You went to the store."

I may be wrong, but that's always the way I've looked at it.  If I'm wrong I have no problem changing the wording of my summary.  Thanks for the input, though.

Nice story! Can't wait for next chapter! Good work and have some staches!

>>279147279147  Oh my god!  Staches!  You have made my day with that.  And I MAY just get the next chapter out tonight.  No promises, though.  Although it does remind me of the fact that I should involve Spike, considering they are in Twilight's house...

line 10

but should be changed to bit

(still not trying to be mean)

>>283614283614  Fixed, and thank you.

Faved

>>291048291048  You're the first one to do so.  I appreciate it.

Cloud Runner I am guessing had that in other stories good story by the way.

>>293505293505  Yeah, probably something like that.  I haven't finalized the first name yet, but soon.  Probably end of the next chapter, or so.  Thanks for reading, though.  And commenting.  I try to respond to most comments.

>>293526293526Well you are doing a great job of that and keep up the great work my good sir.

>>293679293679  Just updated the latest chapter.  Enjoy.  It's a doozy.

I WAS SOOOOO CLOSE. guess t's not Cloud Runner then.

>>296248296248  You were really close.  I'll be honest, though, I really considered Cloud Runner for quite a while before I settled for Storm Runner.  I applaud your effort though.

>>296313296313 Saddly tis the other way around friend I applaud your effort good job mate.

>>297123297123  I fear we could go in circles for quite some time applauding each other, so I will graciously accept your applause... This time.  Next chapter may take a bit longer than the others, but should be up by tomorrow evening, maybe sooner.

yay!

Muffins!

and good job on the chapter! staches for you!

>>298234298234  Moar staches!  And thank you.  I would like to get Derpy involved, though...  I'll ponder this, whilst I write the next chapter.

>>297123297123  Ended up being sooner than I thought.  Classes were cancelled, and so I had more time to write.  Victory cheers all around!

>>299453299453  Dear lord.  I'm sorry, but I figured some suspense was in order...  I'll have the next chapter up soon, so don't worry too much.

>>299507299507It's okay I stil wuv you and your storry so don't worry much I just feel sad about it but don't worry my good sir I shall read some happy stories now

>>299633299633  That's the spirit!  I may, MAY, get the next chapter up tonight.  It'll be around 5 hours from now, but that's the price one pays for their work.  I I'm not happy with what I come up with, then it won't be up till tomorrow.

>>299652299652 Well you can't rush genius now you should get back to your life or whatever you are doing still like the story.

>>299674299674  Real life came, and went.  Work is pretty easy, so I had plenty of time to think up some plot, and then I wrote it all down.  Enjoy the latest installment, this time with 300%(I know I had none in the past, but an infinity sign takes time to find, and type, so make do with what I've given.) more links!

>>301258301258Cool.

>>301258301258AWESOME I was mentioned in a fanfic thank you :)I liked Fur Elise a lot very good song.

I like this story, i also like where it is going so good luck, ill make sure to come back and read next time you update.

>>304134304134  I'm glad you like it.  I'll try and get an update up tomorrow, or perhaps even tonight.  Although the tonight option is unlikely.

very interesting story so far, i can't wait for the next chapter, but don't think I'm rushing you.  By all means take your time

Good job interesting

Twist jokes

>>305372305372  Don't think that you're rushing me, I'm trying for a chapter a day, and if I can't make that, then I don't post a chapter.  I'm not going to sacrifice quality for speed.

>>305414305414  I figured that it was about time for the plot to really start going somewhere.  It's been progressing this whole time, but now we'll start seeing some of the good stuff.

>>305549305549haven't read chapter yet can't wait ...... Reading now.

>>306533306533Read and......

It was AWESOME :

i shall have to track this and give it a like

i play the piano myself and some of those songs are kind of hard to play. if he can play those with his wings and hooves then he is talented.

Good job on the chapter

I like it so far. Mustache get!

>>306533306533

>>306566306566

>>306585306585

>>306645306645

>>306694306694

Thank you, all of you.  At first I was writing this just for the sake of getting something on paper, to practice my writing, and things of that nature.  Now, though, I see that I have some fans (dare I call you that?) to please.  Hopefully I won't make any of you upset with how things go.  I still have quite a bit of story swimming about in the vast emptiness that is my mind, so fear not.  On that note, if anyone would like to suggest some ponies to make cameos I'd be more than happy to oblige.  I'll just need descriptions, and names.

That's all for now.  Good luck, and God speed!

Good job. I like it. Although I feel that Rainbow is a little too emotional than her state of mind in it calls for I feel that she is too weak. not saying it's bad but that Rainbow is too emotional.

When I saw storm runner you  cant imagine how happy I was I thought storm runner ever since he made runner his surname thank you so much!

Ok i know you wont say but this feels like a dash fic its all going towards her but it may be a story were you put main focuses on each girl to make them all uniquely special without doing it all at ounce but so far i only see dash or harem (harem incase you didnt know is basically polygamy more than one girlfreind) this really reminds me of some manga i read a whle back anyway great story cant wait for more!

>>308030308030  I  may have gone a bit too far with the emotion, but, as i wrote it, it seemed right.  I'll take it into consideration, though, for the rest of the story.

>>308369308369  Glad you like the name.

>>308408308408  There will be more focus put on the others, but not just yet.  And you're right, it is mainly focused on Rainbow Dash, because she is the primary interest.  I am familiar with the Harem style, and I, more often than not, can't stand it.  Some events are going to take place that will change things up.  I'm still fleshing it out in my head, though.

Stuck in a dreamworld for a year just to realize none of it ever happened. That would suck. (yes you can consider me a fan, I really like it)

"Yay" you finally moved the focus from rainbow and now onto other ponies.

>>311448311448  Yeah, a whole year spent thinking it's real life, just to discover it was all a lie.  What's going to happen next with Discord, I wonder?

>>315227315227  Indeed I have.  There will probably be quite a few chapters for each one, and MAYBE the main focus will shift.  Depending on how things go in my head, and in the story.

>>315425315425 Ok

Finally some love for AJ. lol

>>316942316942  Speaking of love for AJ, While at work I thought up the premise for a story that I will probably be starting sometime soon.  AJ will have a large role in the tale.

I am agree with spirit shin, abiding rules of literature, but it's still pretty well done story. Also this 2nd person-ish narrative is pretty unique and interesting. It reminds me of one of my students, who made an essay in this style. It's also obvious that your writing style has improved in your second story. Character in second story looks more charismatic, but still Stalin enjoyed reading this one. Ending is pleasant enough. Well done!

Now, could you return Stalin a favor of reading 14 chapters to look at Stalin's story?

>>319200319200  I would gladly read your story.

Yay!  Another chapter!  The night with AJ certainly took an unexpected turn of events.  I sure wasn't expecting to see a memory like that   Keep up the good work!

Yay! i think i have a few spare staches around here... ah! here they are.

>>355428355428  Yep.  More memories will, hopefully, lead to a better understanding of who you are and where you came from.

>>355526355526  You have a thing for giving me staches, don't you.   Ah well, I don't mind.  The more the merrier.

i like it

>>359336359336  I'm glad.  I'll try and get up the next chapter soon-ish.  Perhaps in less than twenty-four hours!

Yay.

>>359364359364  Glad you enjoy it.

Hooray!

>>359369359369That was the fasstest A"Yay" response I have ever gotten.I am impressed now.....

MuFfInS FoR ALL

>>359377359377  I aim to please.

>>359377359377Cool story so far, and I like dis I like dis good...........

>>359370359370  There will be more soon, so I suggest you prepare yourself for more cheers of hooray, or whatever term of enjoyment you prefer.

>>359385359385Hurray is for derps (no offense intended Derpy) Howwever Hajulupaia is for smart Derps

:0 that foreshadowing was crazily mind boggling, all the references to equestria you slipped into that dream...i am reminiscing of the first time i watched inception

>>365369365369  Fear my ability to throw together well made stories in my head!  But yeah, this was slightly planned, but for the most part made on the spot.  I think it should be fairly obvious what I actually planned.

for rainbow and..well.. "us" i guess to be with rainbow? and that rainbow is perhaps actually rachel :0 which would explain why shes named rachel if thats your plan! Rachel, Rainbow? if i'm wrong then oh well :P all in all yet again i am waiting very impatiently for the next chapter

i didn't spot any mistakes. good job so far!

Thanks for suggesting this story to me.  Keep up the awesome work and I hope to be seeing more.

::

>>368461368461  Well sometimes I surprise even myself.

>>368645368645  No problem.  I'll be adding a few more chapters over this week, so stay tuned for more thrilling adventures!

THE POWER OF FOURTH

Awesome

>>370619370619  At first your comment made no sense.  Than I realized that you were the fourth commenter on this chapter.  Anyway, glad you like it.  Another tonight... Maybe.

you missed an 'e' in applejack near the bottom. other than that, it's good

>>373082373082  Corrected.  Thank you.

oh dear.....

GRANDMA!..... I cant think of anything else cept good job.

>>376962376962  What caused this blasphemous declaration!?!?  I'll rectify the issue at once!  Unless it's plot related, in which case you can just wait until I post the next chapter.

>>376963376963  Good job is sufficient for me.  I'm not very picky when it comes to praise.  And your deductive skills are enviable.

My sarcasm skills are god-like.

>>299453299453  This comment is so absurd, and I love it.

good job. i didn't spot any errors. thumbs up for another good chapter!!!

Finally, we get to give SS and DT a piece of our mind!  I cant tell you how long I've wanted to do that!  

Great work with the story, I can't wait to see what happens next!  

>>378482378482  Glad you like it.  There will be more later today, I just got back from school, and I'm going to continue writing the next chapter.

>>376972376972i wasn't saying anything bad i mean't things just got real

>>378783378783  I see.  Things have in fact gotten real.  There will be even more getting in the next chapter.  Brace yourself for what's coming soon, since it will be a doozy.  Or, at least, I think it's a doozy.

dun dun duuuuun SHOCKER TWIST! I think this may be my favorite chapter so will we see grandma next? What is discord planning? will I stop narrating? ill stay tuned and find out!

Woah!  Now this I did NOT see coming!    Memories returning (they are bad ones, but still...), Rachel revealed, and my cutie mark!  I cant wait to see how the rest plays out!  Keep up the good work!  

>>379682379682  If you wish to continue narrating, be my guest.  I got a good laugh out of your comment.  As for seeing Grandma... Well, considering that you don't know who she is, that's doubtful.  But you will be starting your search for answers.  Oh, that, and continuing your romance with the other members of the mane 6.  Can't forget them, now can we?

>>380445380445  This was a hard chapter to write.  It took me some time to get everything the way I wanted it, and eventually I just had to force myself to stop, since I could've kept going with ease.  And you don't know what your cutie mark signifies.  There will be more about that later, but for now I'll leave you guessing.

And for a real thriller, I revealed your actual name!

I probably won't get a new chapter up tomorrow, since I have an essay to write (I hate writing essays...) and I've been procrastinating like a champ.  But if I do get one up I'll be sure to have it just as good as the others.

I this story

>>388671388671  Glad you like it.  I intend to add another chapter today.  Probably not till later, as I have work, but I think that I will get another up.

It's been at least three chapters since last blacking out. What?

>>393214393214  Is that a problem?  Most people would be grateful not to blackout all the time.

I'm not sure. It just makes me feel comfortable knowing where I stand, which is normally lights out on the floor.

>>393885393885  Not sure yet, but I think you may have to wait another few chapters before blacking out again.  It is sometimes useful for plot purposes, but too often and it becomes tedious.  But if you want to see yourself black out, I'll see what I can do about that.

April fool much?

>>394434394434  Just a bit.

God damn you people and your april fools...

I never had to suffer like this in any year in my whole life lol

MFW I had no idea wtf was going on until the end

Cool

>>394512394512  Don't worry, I will have up the real chapter soon.

>>394644394644  Glad to temporarily turn you into Ditzy Doo.

>>394943394943  Good to hear from you again.  I'll have the next chapter up in a few hours, should everything go according to plan.

>>394999394999I meant cool because that is a great ending to the story.