• Member Since 14th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen February 9th

Rangelost


E
Source

Dear diary,

I was wondering, what does it mean to be a good friend? Oh, I know you can't answer that, but it's okay. I just wanted to share a thought with you.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

This has captured my attention intently. Is there going to be Flutterdash later, or maybe Appleshy, or is Fluttershy going to play matchmaker with the two and record it through her diary? If I am honest, I hope it goes for the latter; it would be interesting, and rare, to see a romance story that is written from a completely seperate point of view, like this chapter.

Please keep it up. :twilightsmile:

3257118
Well, that was unexpectedly positive!

:yay:

The biggest clue I can give you right now is the chapter's title. I'll do my best to keep it interesting!

Holy cow Rangelost wrote a story! :pinkiegasp:

And it's good! Like, really good! :raritystarry:

Though to be honest, my favorite part is this:

I nodded. That was the least I could do. “I promise.”

At that point, you could have named pretty much any pony (except that you're Rangelost, which kind of narrows it down), and the story thus far would have worked perfectly. That's good setting-up.

Ya know what? This is so well told at the moment I don't even care if its not apple dash, even though its my otp. AWESOME

3257148
Thanks for the praise, but am I really that predictable?

:twilightsheepish:

3257174
That's quite the compliment, thanks!

I'm afraid to read this...

3257417
You should be.

:trixieshiftright:

3257459
I mean, you added it to the AppleDash group so it must have AppleDash but knowing you, it'll change into AppleShy and LightningDash later :p

3257461
DbzOrDie wrote:

knowing you

AppleShy

:ajbemused:

3257471
Fine, LightningDashShy then

Very nice, Rangelost. You have a good voice for Fluttershy and Dash. I'm impressed! :ajsmug:

3257475
How about you comment on what I wrote, instead of what you think I'm going to write?

:rainbowhuh:

3257505
:yay: Yaaay!

3257557
Are these legitimate grammar mistakes, or does it just look better that way? As you already know, I use French structure since I can't English, and I haven't found any rules proving my sentences wrong yet.

:twilightsheepish:

Otherwise, thanks for the support. I try, sometimes.

3257753
Alright, then. I wish I'd had proper English classes. I passed advanced English in college with people who hardly knew more than "yes", "no" and "toaster".

:twilightoops:

3257746
The first one is a legit mistake. The key to telling is to take out the other subject (ever since me found out about the Elements of Harmony) however, since you're writing first person, it can be allowable when the narrator wouldn't have perfect grammar (for example, Dash or AJ.) Unfortunately, Fluttershy speaks pretty properly.

The second one is also a legit mistake, though it would be nice if someone who knows more about grammar could explain why. At least one reason is that -ing verbs describe an action in progress (I am getting dinner.) What you want to describe is a potential future action (I want to get dinner.) Those use different forms of a verb.

The third one is the least incorrect, though it is still technically incorrect. It's a "rule" of writing that names are always set off with a comma when they're being used to speak directly to someone. (Hey, Rangelost, good story.) I say it's the least incorrect because when you're talking about dialogue, it can sometime be sacrificed to make the sentence flow better.

Anyway, I know you've been hesitant before, but you might want to get a prereader who can just go over the fic to check for stuff like this.

3257829
That already helps a lot, thanks for taking the time to explain this to me. Now, I'd get a proofreader, but I think if most readers don't even catch the mistakes, then it's fine with me. I know, it's a lame excuse, but I'm not trying to do anything big here, so I'd rather work solo like I always do.

:twilightsmile:

Psh. I hardly even noticed those grammar mistakes. It certainly looked perfect on my first round through it.

More! Just make sure you update sometime before the next decade, and we'll be good. :rainbowlaugh:

3257879
And to think i coulda helped proofread your storiesi.imgur.com/yVVgXSo.png
"I'd rather work solo like I always do" but what about friendship?:raritydespair:

O.o What's with that intro?...
Oh well, not gonna stop me from reading it anyways.

Oh... my gosh. This... fic... was so CUTE!!!
And yet, still tangible to my hunger of imagination... I gotta favor this!

gwg

3257879 Taking on a proofreader or an editor can only be helpful, improving you as a writer. It still remains your work and it comes out better when another set of eyes looks at it before publishing. The best (opinion) writers on this site have like two-three editors and proofreaders.

3382455
But it's more of a hassle than it is helpful for people like me who rarely ever write, and do so very casually.

gwg

3382460 two additional steps: 1. send story to editor, 2. apply editor's corrections
even casual writers have someone to look it over, and there are many here that are willing to fill that position

3382468
I don't trust editors.

:trixieshiftright:

gwg

3382473 Why??:rainbowhuh: I am an editor myself so I find it difficult see why someone wouldn't trust an editor
We aren't editor's in the journalistic sense; you as the writer have absolute authority over what you write; I just correct grammar mistakes not change the story

3382482
gwg wrote:

Why??:rainbowhuh: I am an editor myself so I find it difficult see why someone wouldn't trust an editor

We aren't editor's in the journalistic sense; you as the writer have absolute authority over what you write; I just correct grammar mistakes not change the story

:ajsmug:

gwg

3382489 haha:twilightblush: I tend to be more lax in comments and also shows that if I do decide to write some fics then I should look into an editor for myself
but you are dodging the question... If you doubt my abilities or that of any other proposing editor/proofreader then you should test us
otherwise I can't see why

3382501
Honestly, I'd just rather work on my own. It's a stubborn habit of mine; art is something I do by myself, and if I make mistakes, then I can look back at them and see how I've improved since. It isn't something I'll ever do professionally, so I'd rather not stress with the resulting quality of it all, so long as it's presentable.

gwg

3382508 Fair enough.

I really liked this story. I cant wait to read the next sets:heart::yay:

Rainbow Dash and Applejack's relation, as witnessed through the eyes of a silent observer...

Usually when I see the "romance" tag and three different ponies, I assume one of three things: 1) Threesome, 2) love triangle in which somepony gets hurt, 3) one isn't involved except in a supporting role.

I have to say, of the three, number three is my personal favorite, and one of the hardest ones to do well, I've found in my readings. In this case, I love how supportive Fluttershy is. I love how Rainbow Dash can, despite their massive differences in... well, pretty much everything, Rainbow still feels like she can come to her friend with her problems, and that Fluttershy can help resolve them. It establishes a nice dynamic in their relationship, how the two can lean on each other - one for emotional support, the other for emotional strength - and never even comes close to touching Fluttershy as being a pity trip for Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash's nervousness is well played too. Under most circumstances, she has a vast overabundance of confidence that would make most ponies wanna strangle her until her face turned more blue than it is. Her raw capacity for courage notwithstanding, it seems like whenever it comes to something really, truly important to her, she usually runs out of gas just before the finish line, and needs somepony else to put the wind back under her wings.

In this instance, Fluttershy is that gentle, cooling breeze on a hot summer's day that gives one that second wind they need.

Now I want to see what Rainbow does with that second wind.

SHL

This is good! Very good, yeah, I'll keep my eye in this :pinkiehappy:

*coughs at the emptyness that is your fic*

3953847
Look who's talking. There's a reason why I ended the chapter openly.

:trixieshiftright:

Why DIDN'T you think of that sooner, Dashie? Like, really? I mean, are you really THAT clueless about love?? pfft. Of course you are. I forgot I was talking to - well, you.

aaaaaand I'm talking to a cartoon pegasus that can't even hear me. :facehoof:

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