“I'm sorry, Dash. For everything. If I had known how much pain it would have brought you, I would not have said anything at all.”
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FallBlau
Joined 4th May, 2013 ·
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The dialogue seems... Generic... but realistic. I feel the chat would go something like that, but it doesn't exactly suit the characters to my perspective.
This isn't really sad, as it begins happy and ends sad, so I would just leave it as Tragedy, the dark thing I guess makes sense.
Oh, I believe you need work with commas. I feel like there's too little commas and most of them are just replaced with periods.
Overall, not a bad story. Have a like.
limpid
calm
3242739
Thanks. I changed it. :)
"...hanging her down..."
Her head?
"...her arms rested by side."
First, what arms?
Second, her side? Or "her sides"?
Just trying to help.
3242952
Ha ha, no problems. Thanks for the corrections. I'll fix them. :p
img.pandawhale.com/38353-the-feels-gif-2RqD.gif
Damn, dude. I teared up at the end.
With that being said, this is pretty good. You get a like, but I think it could have been executed a bit better. More detailed scenes (how they were walking, what the scenery would like, what the hospital room was like, etc.) would have improved it. There was a lot of dialogue and not enough narrative--you want to kinda balance it out most of the time (exceptions, of course). I felt that Pinkie should've elaborated more of what she has--how did she know no doctor could cure her? What exactly does she have? How does she know it was fatal? So on. But don't take this as me saying it's a bad fic. It's not! Just a few things would've made it go from good to great.
I won't be keeping this in my favs (don't take it personally--I only keep things in the favs that I will re-read), but I will be following you. You've got potential and deserve some followers.
I really liked this story but I think if you added a bit more tone to the conversations it'd help establish the mood and feeling and make my feels hurt more
still a really good fic though! 
Uhh...
Sorry but...
I just can't get any emotions out of this...
I have no soul...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bDSrt6hYV8 i cried to this as well as my little dashie. this video goes so well with this story. /)
dialogue seems kinda generic but its too the point.
sad ending is sad
I read this story on fanfiction.net, a and I have to say, it really, really hurt me, but at the same time, helped me a lot. I was suffering from depression, and for awhile, had dark thoughts. However, when I first read it on fanfiction.net, I realized that some people (or ponies) are having it worse, so it makes me glad that I am still alive. If you wrote this on "that website," kudos to you.