that's teh reason I watch mlp, it a douse of happy in a terrible reality called rl

Why so many chapters with so few words in them? Why not combine and condense. It wouldn't be hard.

That was one nice story you got there Got me sad, but happy at the same time

Brohug, anybrony?

great read, just break up the walls of text, makes it easier on the eyes rather than looking at a giant single form of words.

So good i had to try hard not to get emotional during this.

So he's an NG?

Awesome story, It was moving and different from most stories out there. Amazing job.

FIRST

and secondly,

you are AWESOME

tracking and thumbs up!

so you're HERE too? Well gee, there's just no getting away. Nice story, yeah, i liked it. good job.

WOw

You are truly good at this

Just like so

That was just touching, THE best story I've read on fimfiction, I hope you write more like this.

a story with an emotional background good work sir :3 made we tear up in the letters bit :)

>>270986270986 Brohug

i will shed manly tears for your talent.... i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice start

YES!!!

Brilliant

>>270986270986 Brohug returned

I must say.......................THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER

-Swavey Timn

Absolutely beautiful  

Brohoof.  Very moving and emotional.  I loved it!  I definitely look forward to more work from you!

that was so amazing........ i loved it... new chapters soon?

>>270986270986 bro hug

Ahhh Romance

I cannot up vote enough. 5 stars, upvote, like, 10/10 or whatever, it isn't enough. That was beautiful. I swore i wouldn't cry! Manly tears have been shed. Oh hell, they weren't manly, they were thick, and emotional, and I don't care!

the development of the story is very good! quite the read

my god.... how do you not have more views or comments. i thought this was a great story and it deserves more attention.

im getting a bad vibe man

This is...okay. I wouldn't call it "The Greatest Story Ever" as I've seen people say, but it was good none the less.

>>270940270940 Um.. put together at once, it was 22 pages long. I thought it would be an easier read if it was broken down, that's all. Thank you for the feedback ^^

Discription got me hooked. Will read and give you my impression. So far its promising.

Just followed your ponythread link. I agree with clonetrooperkev, combine the chapters into at least the 2,000 range.

Absolutely amazing I wish this story didn't end I would love to hear what happened next like marriage or something like that

>>271989271989

that i can do ^^ eventually

This chapter is really where the short-chapter format is at its best.  The dichotomy is brilliant.

I'm not a soldier, and I'm not sure if you're one, but I've had many close friends, my brother, and my father all go into combat.  Life after Desert Storm was rough for my father and my family, and that connects me to this very true portrayal of a warrior.  Really, really good.

When I first started reading this I had my doubts, I have seen a lot of soldier stories that were terrible and often completely disrespectful to the troops. I However as I read your story I found myself immersed in your story, hoping things would work out just fine. You did a good job at accurately portraying the warrior accurately. Did you serve or do you have a relative or friend that served? There were a few grammatical errors here and there but it didn't ruin the story. Overall I think this is in my top three favorite stories I have read. I would recommend this to a lot of my friends. I am hoping that you will continue writing, be a shame to see some good talent go to waste.  

Simply, Fu**ing Genious!!!!

>>270986270986 *brohug*

i've found stories like this are often th' most well-written and touching things i have ever read. this is no exception. three thumbs up my good man.

Fantastic story, just wonderful.

Bro. Just. Bro. I am loving this.

That is beautiful man.

Wow... This story was simply stunning. The emotion put into this... Words do not describe... wait, this is a story.. made of words...

Anyway, The grammar issues would have made this story not worth the read, but then you just kept my attention with even more amazing writing.

This story was amazing, and humbling.

That was one of the best fanfics I've ever read, and not in equestria too thats cool.

Whoa, I could have sworn that clock said 8 PM just a moment ago...

Dear friend, I would hug you for making this. (I say would because it would look awkward hugging a computer) this is why I love this fandom, the endless creativity and support

I've seen war in Equestria and Soldiers making it into Equestria somehow. However, i have never seen a humanized pony in the real world with a soldier. Well done, other than the oddly done chapters, I have no complaints. Great job, had me captivated the whole time.

I'll be honest, at the start I wasn't sure about this Fic. You need to unjumble the first few chapters, it's all sort of blocky.

But when and after Twilight and Toby met up the structure became a lot better. You managed to put a lot of emotion in your story, which is something many writers have trouble doing.

You have a gift, use it wisely.

Slap in the face. Men, this is how you know your woman loves you.

That's a very great story and a nice change from the ones I've read lately

Bro, this was just beautiful.

This is surprisingly interesting to me. Great job! This story reminds me of my favorite uncle. He's in the army and I miss him.

Lets hear it for the Air Force! I cant wait for basic training so i can start serving the country that has served me.

I saw a couple of mistakes but other than that it was dazzling. Loving the plot so far. Question, is Toby, you?

Hoozah! The soldier gets the girl, and all is right with the world. I wonder if she knows he watches MLP yet...

I love romance! And the connection between Twi and Toby is amazing!

>>272577272577 Amen to that!

"Your bacon is burning."

The last line cracked me up! I'm so glad Toby passed out. I thought he and Twi had "that". XD

Heza...Zawah..Habujaba...WHUT.

Why you take an emotional rollercoaster and throw it off a cliff?! Why you make me feel like that?!

WAI?!

I've been there. It's not fun.

XD I'm not sure if this counts as a clopfic or not.

You amaze me, good sir.

This is so cute! I love how this comes from two perspectives!

>>271858271858

Hoorah. My dad was former Air Force and my uncle was an Army Major.

Glad it works out for the best in this story.

Is this the army or the military?

Intense, by the way. I don't know anything about the army but I'm feeling bad for Sam.

Poor Twi.

Manly tears were shed that day.

Brilliant.

Mmmm.... Shiner. I take it that this takes place in Texas since you can only get it in Texas.

I remember when I was shipped over we were told to gas it if we took fire, Then again we were just mechanics despite the whole infantry training all Marines go through. (Motor maintanence chief was my MOS)

Awww... I'm so sorry Twi.

Great story, I hope there's an epilogue, or something that gives closure on the MLP love this soldier has/had and if Twilight is well or just a damn near copy of her.

Great story though

Stopped reading for the moment to comment. I love how you captured the common artist... "Just sketchs, nothing great." I've heard it many times, said it myself a few. I feel as if I'm rambling a bit. Back to reading.

XD

Toby got slapped! I don't know whether I should feel pity or amused.

Twilight would be proud of his choice of saturday afternoon venue.

I'm a thirteen-year-old pegasister who read this fanfiction at 10 p.m on a school night.

You sir, deserve a brohoof. /)

Twilight went to earth and humanized herself didnt she? Toby and Twilight will be the best study buddies!

loving the interaction between these too.

*two.

>>272739272739

they are both humans in the human world called earth. that means it is not clop.

Twilight used her magical lips on Toby

The above sentence is increadibly raunchy if you think about it too long.

>>272777272777

Its the army, a very headstrong, very brave branch of the military. There are five branches of the US military: Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and National Guard.

WHOOP!

Im still convinced that Twilight went to earth and humanized herself.

*bawling my eyes out*D'AWWWWWWWW! Wonderful story!no doubt I will have a dream about this. It's 12:36 AM now. Damn you school...>>272852272852 lol I feel ya. Thank celestia I had my tests yesterday.

“Though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I fear no evil.”

My favorite verse of all time. I am so very glad you put it in this story

Hits home lost one of my cousins in Iraq

Magnifico. Beautiful. Great work and definitely deserve praise.

I like this.  I like this ALOT.  TRACKING.

hey. doc. not cool, man. i woke everyone in the house up with my laughter.

funny as hell though.

Thank you. The amount this touched my heart cannot be simply written in words. This was truely buitiful, sad, poetic and truefull. My older brother died a little less than a year ago, risking his life to save his squadrent bye covering a IED with his body. He was the one who turned me into who I am now ( brony included ). The connections in this community drive me to manly tears.Again thank you >>270986270986 As for you, brohug.

What an EDUCATED form of stimulation.  I can tell that this man, is LIKE A SIR!

I loved the two perspectives in this chapter. I love how Twi send him naughty messages in Arabic

Minor grammar and punctuation errors but they were overshadowed by the AWESOME and the feelings.

Other great verses that can be applied to soldiers (and that I like) are:

The path of the rightous man is beset on all sides by tyranny and evil...(If you've seen Pulp Fiction then you know the rest)  -Ezekiel 25:13

There is one that says that the Lord is my sword, shield, and armor. Its been awhile since I've looked it up.

Greater love have no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends -John 15:13

(Only just now occured to me that I should have put it in the comments for the chapter where Toby explained his friend's death)

Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh for Toby.  He and Twilight are going to be BOOK BUDDIES!

>>270986270986

Brohug accepted.

This was a wonderful story. I wish I could meet someone like the Twilight in this story.   A tip of my hat for a well done touching story. And yes, I realise I ended every sentence in this paragraph with 'story'.

*Finishes reading chapter* D'AWWWWWWWWWWW

Bravo Company + Sam and Burke joking = me mentally making the leap to Bad Company and I couldnt help replace Sam and Burke with Sweetwater and Haggard for a moment.

Toby seems to be a RPG magnet. Hopefully he makes home in one piece back to Twilight's loving arms.

Good on Toby for looking after his men and pulling one to safety.

LIKE A BOSS TOBY.  LIKE A BOSS.

*sniff* *sniff* It's freakin beautiful man.  FREAKING BEAUTIFUL.