I'm broken here, without power and without any friends to speak of. I am perhaps the most loathed creature in Equestria and the Crystal Empire. I am a unicorn, without his horn. I am only alive as further punishment, so that I should continue to wallow in my suffering. But I used to be a king. I used to be a hero, a savior! What happened to me? Where did I go wrong?
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This is great, can't wait for more! I was actually thinking or writing a Sombra fic myself XD So I hope you don't mind if I make subtle refrences XD Awesome!
I came in thinking "this story seems average" but when you said
"He moves forward, his body is broken, and without the horn that makes a unicorns inner light shine, he wanes. He is weak now, and falls, sinking into the mud below him. There is water falling beside him, like the crying sky, rain."
I was blown back that you are a skilled and talented author like this type of writhing is what will get a book published i mean you Sr. are an amazing writher keep up the Awesome work and ill be looking foreword to updates
And hopefully your next chapters would be longer so I have some more to read of this grate story
Hmmm.....very interesting. I like how you're trying to portray him as a hero instead of the usual villainous intents. I can't wait to see more!
3253322
Only at this point...
Note: anything in Italics is from an omnipresent perspective, the rest is in 1st person perspective.
Amazing work, my friend
Hm I like this take on Sombra. The fall from a hero king to a tyrant.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3292722 Never once had a story that was accepted by them, if you know someone or something and wanna submit it on my behalf, be my guest.
This is an amazing story, you kept me riveted till the last word!!!!
This is an amazing story so far. I can't wait to read the rest
This is where things get bad, isn't it?
And I'm guessing the next chapter is the turning point.
I can't wait for the next update. Good job on this story!!
Ruh-roh, methinks Sombra might be getting ahead of himself.
The Prince may be living proud now, but little does he know of the ominous title to the next chapter. Will we see the beginnings of Sombra's dark magic or dark intentions? Only time will tell. Until next time on..."Where Did I Go Wrong"
3381808
You're making this a bit too soap opera-y for my likes.
You are a very skilled writer and story teller. I can wait for the next chapter!
8138550 I don't really see any reason to continue this, seems dead in the water for want of continuing.