It can be said the multiverse is a series of rivers, each one its own reality, all flowing infinitely close to each other, but never touching. When one river receives a sudden influx of energy and overflows its banks, touching another reality in the process, two species must come to terms with their sudden awareness of the other. And as the deeper ramifications of their meeting become apparent, both species must make a choice as one.
While this is a direct sequel to In Duty's Name, it is not required to read it. It is recommended, as it will help you get to know everypony better :)
This is a re-imagining of The Conversion Bureau universe as originally created by Blaze. All Canon characters are (c) Hasbro and Studio B. All Original Characters are (c) to their respective owners
DUN DUN DUUUN and the plot starts
Oh my god you did do one... *squeee* now to favorite, track and thumbs it up. Ill read it later but grazts bro.
A solid start. I can't wait to see where you take this.
...now this is something new
i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb317/Lord_of_Change/ScreenHunter_01Feb280642.jpg
^mfw I wake up and see 16 notifications, all to do with people tracking or commenting or favoriting. I love you guys so much
Good... Now keep on writing. Oh and we all love you back!
A plausible and realistic meeting between the two races. Hopefully, everything will go well. (The only problem is that this is in the Conversion series, which means that Celestia is going to put a boundary between the worlds so humans can't come hers but ponies can go to theirs. (The real Princess Celestia wouldn't do that.) While also dooming the human race to extinction if they don't convert. (Just nitpicking the series as a while. Your work is astounding. Keep up the god work.))
270521 Oh don't worry, I have plans in place to both differentiate from everypony else's interpretation and mine, stay tuned
Wow! This was simply wonderful! i can't wait for the next chapter! omigodomigod! :D
Tracked!
Good story, plausible introduction and compelling characters ... But two tiny points you might want to address:
F-15s aren't carrier-capable and never have been, and the image of the carrier you've got in your story is the future Queen Elizabeth Class carrier to be operated by the Royal Navy. (Unless this story is focusing on them, but it seems more American?)
Keep up the good work.
271678 Well, after looking it over, me and my advisory team decided that it would be possible for an F-15 to make a landing on the carrier deck with it's emergency tow hook, and then by cannibalizing a tow hook from one of the inoperable fighters it'd be more capable of making repeated landings. Was a case of the crew working with what they had. As for the carrier, to me it's more about the idea of a carrier, which the artist spot on the money.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck yes.
AMIGO.
YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
...I can help ya with proofreading again, if need be.
excellent beginning, can't wait for moar!
I ended up proofing this chapter myself, so apologies if anything slipped through
Now this is a refreshing change of pace, showing the Equestrian side first.
Loving it, but I've got an inquiry. Are they even going to address with Celestia the fact that the anomaly (which she can logically be assumed to be linked to) killed thousands and crippled an entire battlegroup (which is a colossal threat given such capabilities)? I just figure that it would make sense to probe such an egregious loss with those who potentially caused it instead of immediately putting the president in harm's way (as even though they came off as nice, you'd think sustaining such losses would warrant a copious amount of caution/suspicion, not to mention that this sort of threat would put the USA extremely on edge). Why would the USA (or any government), which puts little trust into many other nations (I mean really, most super powers are sparing with trust), put so much confidence (based on virtually nonexistent evidence of good intention [a few minutes of dialogue doesn't suffice, word of mouth is never very reliable]) into an unknown entity/race that could be a potential threat, that they would put the president on their doorstep with minimal protection or premeditation. Sounds a bit rushed and unrealistic given the normal mentality of this world's super powers (as generally if an entire battlgroup drops of the map and is severely damaged by an unknown force, the states and most likely the entire UN security council would put military action on a hot key). Just wondering...
272864
I spotted fewer errors in this one than in the previous chapter so well done with that. Minors errors all of them. This is better written than most Conversion Bureau fics even after only one self proof. Very well done. I like how well and (relatively) realistically you portray the characters. I haven't read a Bureau fic yet that didn't make me roll my eyes at more than one point and want to slap the author for a line or two, but here you've gone and made one. Very, very well done. You just might save this genre of pony fics.
It also looks like you're going the "expanding dome consuming the earth with magical radiation" route as the reason for humans being converted. I'm not sure if I prefer it to the "Dystopian future/end of the world" scenario to it but I'm not at all a fan of either. I'd personally prefer something lighter, like some already existing disease or threat to which a magical potion with certain transformative side-effects is the only known cure. Some direction that doesn't involve so much conflict between the two worlds or a vast migration. I would just rather see the two worlds work to coexist while their populations become a little more mixed. Curious ponies one one side wanting to see the human world, human researchers and journalists wanting to learn about the new magical one, and the few who actually go through the conversion either out of necessity or by choice dealing with the change in whichever realm they choose to settle. But that's just me rambling. I read too much but never bother to write my own.
Again, nice work. Can't wait for more, and shame on those people downvoting you. I know it's just because people can't stand the Conversion Bureau fics. This is one of the few of them that doesn't make me want to vomit and the only one I don't dislike, but at least I give them a chance before casting a vote. Honestly, it's just as bad as people who will upvote it, like they would the more poorly written fics, simply because of the genre.
Yes progress.... continue... (also i dont say good story or that kind of ego boost because there is no need to say that, at leats is what i think )
I really like the feel of the story, again very Baum like, very Oz, which is only good. Celestia is so Ozma in your works, which I find fascinating, since you indicated you have never read that classic series.
I really liked Fancypants, and 'the right kind of dangerous', that was awesome sauce on wonder toast. I also like how Cloudhammer is dealing.
The descriptions work well to convey the situation, though I could use a little more 'color' to the world, perhaps, a little more detail about the look and feel of the world. It works, I could just use more, maybe.
I find it interesting the world you have this happening in, very Nearly Now, rather than future, which is particularly interesting, though obviously a Nearly Now where the world is in better shape than it is at present. I wonder what the miracle is.
I also like how the sides are kind of mirrors of each other, in some ways.
At every moment of the meetings I am expecting Klaatu. I keep waiting for the misunderstanding, the shot, the fallen pegasus.
That is my only complaint: having suffered such casualties, faced with strange aliens and such destruction, none of these humans feel human to me yet. They seem better than human, better than reality. But then, it is a fiction, of course, and it is common to portray humans as how they wish they were, than how they are.
I am shocked the Question has not been asked. Men are dead, lots of them, and the only new thing is the dome in the ocean. That the president did not ask about why his people were slaughtered is astonishing. These soldiers should be on edge, frightened, angry and filled with testosterone and rage. They've been slaughtered by an invisible force.
I would imagine some strong demands, not casual conversation. I would imagine lots of guns trained on these ponies every second, by angry men who have lost their friends and coworkers. And I would expect the usual human xenophobia, too.
I am definitely entranced.
Gah, this is one of those times I hate being the author and knowing what's coming, because I can't tell you all.
Rest assured, there is a lot of heavy stuff coming, and the misunderstanding is coming Chaty, it is most certainly coming.
As for the President flying out there in person, that's more his personality I developed for him. Tyler Foster is an idealist, who defeated the incumbent in the reelection campaign for failing to deliver on all of his promises(the conflict in Asia, South America, and the economy). He's a very hands-on President who believes that sending surrogates to do the work for you is piss-poor leadership (and he does know that one man can't do everything, but for something important like this, he feels driven to be the one there in person.)
Also, I don't think I did a good job of it, but the whole meeting between Tyler and Celestia was pretty much a parade of politician smiles. Tyler is curious and concerned on the inside, but he's been doing the politician game long enough to know how to dance. And Celestia's been doing it for a thousand plus years, so she probably invented the dance
And trust me, the Question is being asked, but not in the open yet. They want to know exactly what they're dealing with before they start getting hostile. For all they know, there's entire legions of Royal Guard waiting on the other side with the same people-killing powers at their disposal
I very much enjoy your brief, yet informative writing. But that also brings up an issue: all the human characters feel pretty much the same. That is, too many names introduced too quickly; there's Foster, Carter, Curtis etc.
Lots of text, but it doesn't seem to lack in substance. There's just one thing... You cheated with the language barrier. Cheated.
274328 I'm working on it, but humans are so much harder to write for than ponies
As for the language thing, I know, but I couldn't think of an easier way to work it without wasting 2-3 weeks of the story's timeline on ponies learning english... just got a lot of things to do and only 52 weeks to do them in lol
I seriously do love this story! ;D I know my comment is painfully short compared to the other ones here, but what can you do? I don't know what can you do to make me write more but I certainly know just the thing. I just need to write more! xD So overall the story is awesome. On the cons side I noticed that the ponies were calling the ship a 'island' but then changed to 'vessel' without any reason. And you kinda really cheated on the language barrier (like Microshazm pointed out), and it was reckless of Celestia to try magic on some other species, it could have hurt them or they could take it as an attack and shoot her in her alicorn face. That said, I hope the story will be continued! x)
Ok, here's a request:
In TCB fics, it's come to my attention that the portrayal of humans is... weak. They bow down to ponydom in what is basically a snap of one's fingers, and allow our culture to be basically wiped out.
Could you not do that?
I mean, this is humanity we're talking about. We don't give and we don't back down. We've survived for thousands of years, despite sickness, plauge, disaster and ourselves. We've been to the moon and back, we've harnessed the blood of the sun, the secrets of the atom.
And we did all those things without magic, flight, or a goddess watching out for us.
That ought to count for something.
Agree with Dalek IX. The President is like the king in Chess. You keep him (or her) safely protected and far behind front lines. Not let him land on an undermanned carrier in the middle of the sea during a maritine emergancy, let alone walk up to aliens you've just meet. The US has plenty of pawns for that.
Plus using a future British carrier for a Nimitz is the worst possible thing ever!
Good job on this chapter, but there should to be more tension with these situations. The fact that there's a abnormality that killed hundreds and crippled equipment, should of caused more concern with the crew. Especially when ponies just start coming out of the same abnormality. Would like to of seen a bit more weapons drawn at the creatures. After all, if you saw a strange creature appear after an incident like that, you would pull out a weapon and be prepared for the worst.
As a request, could you have some humans come through the "disk" to the other side? Would like to see the non-political ponies reactions to people. As well as rainbow dash's reaction to a fighter jet. Also, if there is going to be a battle, perhaps have an AC-130 somewhere in the mix. (These are just thoughts and can be ignored)
Made some minor edits for consistency and the like, italicized the Stennis and John F Kennedy's names, and added a bit that showed Celestia knowing that the 'island' was in fact a vessel (yanking your knowledge of English straight from somebeing else's head would include some sense of what the words mean and such.)
273923 "They want to know exactly what they're dealing with before they start getting hostile. For all they know, there's entire legions of Royal Guard waiting on the other side with the same people-killing powers at their disposal"
Royal Guards: armor, wings, any other medieval weapons.
Humans: Guns, Tanks. Jets, Stealth Bombers, NUUUUKEES! huge numbers compared to ponies, better tactics, and a bunch of other awesome shit
279306
Alright. You're the President of the good old US-of-A. Talking magic horses appear from nowhere, along with an island. They are ruled by bona-fide gods of the sun and moon respectively. What ye do?
If the answer is "Launch ALL the weapons", you're me. And I would make the single worst president of the USA, of all time.
When you talk to gods (And you do want to talk first), you talk polite, lest they slap your shazbot so hard your descendents (assuming you survive to have any) will have slapped shazbot encoded into their genetic structure.
279424 Im not sure whether you were mocking me or just being funny/silly
Many thanks to Rust for his help in proofing this chapter. I apologize for any rough patches during Celestia's UN speech, I should not be allowed to mix alcohol and writing
I can see Celestia being disgusted by humanity's general disdain for ourselves.
And of course some uber-conservative Christian nutjob (I am not hating, its just there are quite a few of those people in the world) decries Celestia and the ponies as the creation of Satan and such.
I must say that it's very nice to actually see how things actually happened with a conversion bureau story even with some real politics involved. Very well done Bravo
I interesting addition to an already extremely interesting story.
The fact that we brought Celestia to the UN before we told her of how our world works first is a bump in the road.
Great story
The names in this are a little toublesome for me because Fallout Equestria: Heroes has a pegasus named Flare. It's not easy reconciling the two. Very good story though, and I think I speak for most people when I say MOAR!!1!
Errrr..... The story showed up on my tracking list as being updated, and there are comments on chapter 3, but I can't see any chapter 3. What witchcraft is this??
Wut? My tracking email said a new chapter was up. But it's not.
It can only be attributable to human error.
My apologies for that, I'd released chapter 3 before it was really ready, and I get up the walls crazy if i feel I've not given my absolute best on a chapter. It will be returning by the end of the day today
Trollestia.... why doesn't she magic human language into her entourage? She can raise the sun, float her ass through will, and absorb English in an instant with her power.
Yet she forces Twilight to use a Speak and Spell and learn Human on her own. Trollestia!
Read all TCB stories.
I'm really enjoying this!! Tracking!!
Huzzah! Awkward introductions on the horizon! Man the lolboats, this ship is going down!
290506 It's true that I had thought to have Celestia enchant everypony in her entourage to know English, but then I asked myself, "Would Twilight ever pass up a chance to both read new books AND learn a new language all at once?"
You could have described the initial ponies' reaction to the things on Earth better. Like the aeroplane for example, you didn't say a word about their experiences with it. Other than that I don't have any reservations, and I like it so far ;D
295063 Yea, I'm trying to keep the scope of this one to the overall picture, so then I can come back and do spinoffs to look at specific things, so some details have to be cut here and there heh
295278 But why do you need to cut out the precious details? Won't they make the story better?
This is a very engaging and very well written story. It's the a very realistic interpretation of what could happen. I cannot wait for the next chapter!!
*sigh* And of course, the lesser parts of my faith rear their ugly heads once again.
Celestia, please know that most religious people are actually quite friendly. It's just that the whack jobs get all the press.
are the ponies 3D, or are the humans 2D?
So... When's the next update? Magic: pwning humans and their ilk since before the middle ages.
Anyway, thanks for the chapters. 