• Published 28th Feb 2012
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The Conversion Bureau: The First Year - Cloudhammer



Ponies and Humans meet for the first time and come to terms with a new, shared existence.

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05 - The Best Laid Plans

Week 3, Saturday-Sunday

“Princess Celestia! It’s a pleasure to see you again so soon!” President Foster smiled broadly for the cameras as he bowed slightly to the Princess as she delicately exited the helicopter.

Celestia inclined her head slightly as well. “The pleasure is mine, President Foster. I do hope this visit is as productive for your species as it promises to be for ours.”

After some small talk the two were off, accompanied by their respective guards. Behind them, a pink, pony-shaped ball of hyperactivity bounced its way eagerly onto the tarmac.

“C’mon girls! We had plenty of time to sit still on the helicopter!” Pinkie exclaimed exuberantly as she looked back at the other Bearers, all of whom looked a little worse for wear.

“Pinkie Pie darling, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but could you keep it down please?” Rarity said tiredly as she readjusted her hair for what felt like the tenth time since they’d left Canterlot.

“I know you’re excited Pinkie, but you need to behave yourself while we’re here. We are representing Equestria to a whole other reality after all.” Twilight said nervously, having remembered this time to not eat as big a breakfast this morning. As she looked around at the bright day, she smiled a little at the beautiful water of the harbor.

“Ah think Ah’m just glad to have mah hooves on tha ground.” Applejack stated firmly as she climbed to the pavement. Stomping a hoof on it curiously, she shrugged before trotting after the others, a yellow and pink mass following closely behind her.

The last pony flew out instead of walking, rainbow mane glowing in the warm sun. Rainbow Dash grinned as she felt the hot air caress her primary feathers. “I could definitely get used to this place.”

“So, I take it you find the temporary embassy to your satisfaction?” Foster asked as he led Celestia down the hall.

Celestia smiled broadly. “Indeed, it seems that everypony is adjusting well to living here. How are you today, Star Dancer?” she asked in Equestrian.

Lifting himself back to his hooves, Star beamed at his Princess. “I like this place a lot Your Majesty! I even made a new friend a few days ago, his name is Larry.”

“I am glad to see you’re making new friends. Have the humans been treating you and the other ponies well?” she asked gently.

“Well, they got a little mad when I flew off to try and see some more of the island, but they said it was ok since I got to help save Larry’s life.” Star replied proudly.

Celestia frowned a little at this, giving President Foster a sidelong glance before turning back to Star. “I see, then I would like to meet your friend myself, if it’s not too much trouble?” The last part was directed more to President Foster than Star.

An aide whispered something into Tyler’s ear and he nodded. “I don’t foresee any problem, so long as you all refrain from using any magic while at the hospital. There are other patients in much worse condition then Mr. Haverson.”

“Then let us go pay a visit.” Celestia said warmly, while her mind whirled with clockwork precision as she analyzed the information she’d gleaned.

“And so then the little dude just picked me up and flew me to shore. Next thing I remember was waking up in this bed here.” Larry finished his tale with a small smile, his brown eyes again looking at the riot of color that now surrounded his hospital bed. One of them, a pink pony with no wings or horn, started rummaging around in her saddlebag and pulled out a perfectly intact cupcake. With an ear to ear smile she set it on the table by the bed.

Larry looked at it in confusion. “So what is that for little sheila?”

Pinkie tilted her head, equally confused. “My name’s not sheila, it’s Pinkie Pie, and it’s for you! It’s one of my signature Get-Well Cupcakes, guaranteed to make you feel better!”

Larry eyed the treat for another second before reaching out to touch it. Lifting the treat cautiously, he undid the wrapper and took a hesitant bite. The poor cupcake didn’t stand a chance as Larry finished it off in two more bites. “That was great! What’d you make this thing out of?”

“Just the usual flour, sugar, a pinch of salt, vanilla and my own special frosting. What else would I put in it?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“Well, whatever you put in it, that was fantastic.” Larry proclaimed confidently.

President Foster eyed the discarded wrapper before turning to Pinkie. “Miss Pie, if it’s not too much trouble, might I have one of those cupcakes for later? I admit to having a bit of a sweet tooth.”

Pinkie beamed at the chance to share more of her favorite treat and eagerly dug another out of her bag. “No problem! I always carry a supply of cupcakes for any situation.” She balanced the confection perfectly on her nose and handed it to Foster, who took it with a smile and gestured toward the stairwell.

“Now then, let’s go back to the embassy for now. I’m sure all of you are hungry and there are lots of things that I’d like to talk about with Princess Celestia.” The group made their way down the stairs and out the door to their respective vehicles for the ride back to the embassy.

Once Foster and his Secret Service agents were in their car, he handed his cupcake to one of the agents. “I want this thing analyzed. Find out everything we can about it.” The agent nodded, carefully holding onto the cupcake as if it were explosive. “Hopefully this thing can start shedding some light on the thaumatic radiation, and give us a means to block it.”

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, the humans each lost in their own thoughts. Conversely, the large bus carrying the ponies was full of noise as they all spoke amongst themselves.

“I thought he was really nice! I hope Mr. Foster likes my cupcake too!” Pinkie was bouncing in place, her muzzle split by a wide smile.

“I’m sure he’ll love it my dear, and I admit that despite his language, Star Dancer’s new friend did seem very kind.” Rarity inspected a forehoof for any grime, disliking being in hospitals in general.

“Oh yes, he was very nice, though surfing sounds scary.” Fluttershy had actually been interested in the hospital, wondering if she could learn anything from them about treating her animal friends.

“Heh, I’ll show em how a real athlete does it!” Rainbow proclaimed confidently, secretly jealous that Star Dancer had gotten to try a new sport ahead of her.

Twilight sat next to Celestia, looking up at her mentor curiously. “Is something bothering you Princess?”

The alicorn shook her head and smiled down at her protégé. “Not at all my dear, just wondering what President Foster desires to speak to me about. I’m certain that there are some things he’s been keeping to himself, especially given the reaction of that other human when we spoke before their UN.”

Twilight shuddered as she remembered the shouting match that had begun at that angry outburst. “Do you want me to be there with you for your talk?”

Celestia laughed lightly. “Oh no my dear, you should relax and enjoy yourself a little. I was able to convince President Foster to allow a short excursion to the beach, with supervision of course.”

“Did you say the beach? Awesome, I can’t wait to show em my stuff!” Rainbow cheered, fluttering off her seat in excitement.

“Just try to keep outta trouble this time Rainbow.” Applejack chided, tugging the rainbow pegasus down by her tail.

“You’re just jealous that you won’t get to surf like I can!” Rainbow challenged with a familiar gleam in her eye.

“Oh, it’s on!” Applejack’s eyes lit up with their own fire, the two ponies spitting into their hooves and smacking them against each other.

The others just laughed as the bus drew to a stop in front of the embassy.

“Alright President Foster, I have reviewed this Project Traveler, and admit that I see no problem with allowing it to proceed, within reason of course. Are you certain that your technology will function on the other side of the dome?”

Tyler nodded before opening a folder and sliding it across the table to Celestia, who peered at it curiously. “We were able to test some of our more basic video and audio recording technology inside a field of thaumatic radiation when they were more common, before the appearance of the dome.”

“I admit to some curiosity about these… thaumatic radiation fields?” Celestia didn’t know what the word meant, but was starting to see an unpleasant picture forming.

“Well, they appeared about a month and a half before the dome. These fields would show up, disrupting technology and causing black patches to appear on affected humans’ skin. Exposure for more than a few seconds would cause severe internal bleeding and organ failure. Approximately at the same time of the dome’s appearance, the fields disappeared as if they weren’t there.” President Foster leaned forward slightly, putting his elbows on the table and meshing his fingers. “I’m going to tell it to you straight Celestia. A lot of people are worried about you ponies and the appearance of the dome, which to a lot of people seems awfully connected. And now it seems the thaumatic radiation is starting to show up again. The surfer that Star Dancer is friends with, Larry; apparently entered a thaumatic field. I’d like to be optimistic and hope that this was an isolated incident, but I’ve got a feeling that the fields are going to be coming back. If we can’t find a way to protect people from this, things are going to get worse. And it’s a given that people are going to be assigning blame to whoever they think should hold it. Which is going to be you.”

“What are you proposing?” Celestia asked, her face carefully neutral.

“We don’t know enough about your world to be able to come up with a solution. We need your help as well if we’re going to figure this out. Not to mention that if your people… err, ponies, are seen helping solve some of this mess, then that might help defuse some of their frustration. Or at least take yourselves out of the way as a target.”

“I can speak to the Council upon my return to Canterlot. I am certain that we will be more than happy to help. I assume you will speak with the rest of the UN to secure their help?”

“I suppose I could…” Foster trailed off as an agent burst into the room, a piece of paper held in one hand. He set it down in front of Foster, and as the President read, his expression grew steadily darker.

“Shit, I was hoping this would settle out.” He got to his feet and walked urgently to the door, Celestia rising to her hooves and following.

“What’s going on?” she asked as they entered a large room, where the other humans in the embassy were gathered around a large flat object displaying moving images of people. There were no ponies in the room save for Captain Flare, staring at the screen with a hard expression. Moving closer, Celestia could better hear and see what the box was saying, and her face soon matched Flare’s.

“This is CNN Breaking News; we now have live video from our reporters on the ground in Rio de Janeiro, where, as you can see, massive rioting has begun as the food shortages continue. A short statement from President Henriques was heard earlier, which denounced the rioters as supporters of the Devil’s minions, which we believe to mean Princess Celestia and the Equestrians. He vowed to crush the rioters no matter what, and already several reporters have told us they saw military units being deployed into the favelas. However, when ordered to open fire on protesters, a large portion of the army declared itself in full desertion and in support of the protesters. Those forces still loyal to President Henriques immediately found themselves under fire and are fighting a retreat to Brasilia now. Unfortunately, the favela gangs have seized on the chaos and begun battling each other for the food and medical supplies.” The person with the camera was thrown to the ground as a massive explosion rocked a nearby building, causing a choking cloud of smoke to obscure the view before the camera cut out. The video snapped to a harried looking human sitting at a desk. “Umm, we’ll try to get the feed back from that reporter as soon as we can. In the meantime, word is now coming in that rioting has begun in other cities as thousands of young people take to the streets.” The video cut again to another camera, this one on a rooftop as loud pops of gunfire and columns of smoke rose into the air. The man’s voice came back on, “And now we have this video, showing Rio de Janeiro in the midst of the worst rioting since the Arab Spring in 2012 or the Iran Uprising of 2023. Stay tuned for more coverage when we return from this commercial break.”

“Curtis, I want a press conference scheduled within the hour. We’ll say that we desire stability in the region, and advise that both sides back down and be willing to talk. Attacks on civilians will be met with strong condemnation.”

“Too strong for a public address at this time sir. I’d suggest merely stating that you are aware of what’s going on, and seek only for a peaceful resolution to the situation. Try and contact Henriques directly to give him the stronger message.

“Is there anything that we can offer to help?” All eyes turned to Celestia, the alicorn’s magenta eyes collected and calm.

“With respect Celestia, you’re not likely to be able to offer much help. Half of the population there will hate you simply because of their religion, not to mention the fact that you use ‘magic’. This thing will settle out, it’ll be ugly for a bit, but us getting involved will only make the situation worse.” Foster said, his shoulders sinking as though under strain as the CNN coverage came back. “Sometimes you can’t win them all.”

Celestia trotted slowly over to stand in front of Foster. Her eyes bored into his with iron-clad resolve. “President Foster, I had honestly thought better of you. If you do not try, then you will always fail. Right there on that screen are members of your species in need of help. Surely there is something that we can do.” The look on her face was one that would brook no refusal.

Foster sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “Give us the room. Curtis, you stay.”

With nervous glances, everyone else shuffled out of the room, leaving Foster, Curtis, Celestia, a Secret Service agent and Flare. The two guards nodded slightly to each other and moved to stand next to their respective principal.

Foster walked over to the TV and turned it off, then turned to face Celestia. “I think you don’t understand how things work here Princess. Trying to enforce our will onto those people will only make them all turn their weapons on us instead of each other. Trust me; this will settle out much cleaner if we let them fight it out for themselves.”

Celestia’s eyes maintained their cool stare. “Cleaner for you, perhaps. But what about the humans who wish no part in the fighting? Do they suddenly have no rights?”

“They do, but I’m the President of the United States, not the President of Brazil. I cannot simply march into another country and tell them how things should be done.”

“I do not recall saying you should, only that you should extend help to those that need it. Equestria will stand beside you to help, but if you simply abandon those people to kill each other, then I believe re-evaluating our country’s relationship may become necessary.”

Foster balled his hands into fists, while his eyes narrowed dangerously. “You would seriously do that, wouldn’t you?”

Celestia returned the stare calmly. “Only if it is required, President Foster… no, Tyler. The choice is entirely yours to make.”

Foster turned and walked to the window, staring out over the water. He weighed the two courses of action laid out before him, not liking the outcomes at the end of either path. However, one eventually presented itself as the lesser of two concessions and he made his decision. Turning back to face Celestia, he shook his head.

“I will wait one week, to allow the worst of the fighting to end. As much as I know you wish to rush in and end the fighting right away, I do have a responsibility to the people of my nation first. I will speak to the UN Security Council by the end of the week to see about putting together a multinational effort. Any assistance you could provide would of course be welcome.”

Celestia inclined her head. “I do understand the pressures of being a leader, President Foster. I will speak with the Council and arrange for aid to be prepared at once. Perhaps we can even accomplish two goals at once.”

Foster furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before it dawned on him. “I suppose that would be most productive, if your Council would not mind its presence?”

“Oh, I’m sure that some will complain, but it will be fine. Now, I must beg your leave, I admit to some curiosity about this ‘surfing’ that Star Dancer mentioned.”

“Of course, I’ll call a truck to take you…” Celestia shook her head.

“There is no need, thank you for the offer though.” With another bow of her head Celestia turned and exited the room, Flare accompanying her. Foster moved back to the window and watched as the two exited the building before disappearing in a burst of light.

“Well, that went about as well as could be expected.” Curtis commented, moving to stand next to Foster.

“Don’t kid yourself Curtis; she played all of us like a fiddle to get what she wanted. And the worst part is I can’t say she was entirely wrong to do it.” Foster mused for a bit before turning to his Chief of Staff. “I want the other part of Project Traveler activated, just as a precaution.”

“Of course sir.”

Captain Shimmer eyed the strange contraption that rolled up onto the chariot with suspicion. Edging closer, he took a sniff at one of the strange arms jutting from it. Instead of a hoof, it had a strange box with a circular opening that whirred and clicked as he put his eye up to it.

“I assure you my dear, it is quite safe.” Celestia said with a smile as she trotted over from speaking with Admiral Holt.

“If you say so Your Highness.” Shimmer trotted to the head of the reserve wing that had been brought up to transport the device. “Alright! I expect you to see this device to Canterlot without it getting so much as a scratch. Do I make myself clear?” The four pegasi nodded. Shimmer grunted his approval and returned to his position at the head of Celestia’s chariot, the Bearers speaking excitedly about their time on the human’s beach.

“Did you see that sick roll I pulled right through that one wave?” Rainbow Dash was ecstatic as she preened another feather into place.

“Not like we couldn’ta missed it Rainbow, ya’ll came out of it and splashed everypony in sight.” Applejack retorted, glad she’d left her Stetson on the beach safely out of the way.

“I had a lot of fun; can we go again the next time we’re here?” Pinkie giggled, her mane in perfect condition despite being in the water longer than anypony else.

“I do admit being able to relax for a time was delightful. Did you enjoy yourself Fluttershy?” Rarity asked, the unicorn having spent the whole excursion in the shade away from the sun.

“Oh yes, I got to make all sorts of new friends with the birds.” The shy pegasus smiled happily as she wondered what Angel would think of taking a trip to the beach.

Twilight, in the meantime, had trotted over to sit next to Celestia as she had climbed aboard the chariot with them. “How did your talk with President Foster go? Anything exciting happen?”

“You could say that Twilight. You could say that…” Celestia smiled at her student, though her eyes were distant as the two chariots took off, heading towards the dome. The hemisphere of light was now a little over six kilometers across and three high, and it showed no signs of slowing down. As they drew closer clouds became visible, and looking down Twilight could see the landscape far below, almost as if Equestria were emerging from the sea itself.

“Princess, just what is going to happen once all of Equestria and the other lands finish emerging?”

“I don’t know Twilight. But I am sure that if we all work together, we can come up with a solution.” The alicorn replied, her soft smile not reaching her eyes as the chariots dove into the dome at its highest point, the city of Canterlot visible underneath them.

“And so I believe that we have an opportunity to help these humans, and perhaps even show them the merits of harmony that has guided this nation through the past thousand years.” Celestia finished an hour later, the throne room packed to capacity with nobleponies, Guard officers and a lone machine sitting beside the throne. “Are there any questions?”

Predictably, the room exploded into a riot of noise as everypony jumped to their hooves.

“What manner of aid do you intend to send Princess?”

“How will we pay for it?”

“Will the humans keep their word and not simply take the aid for themselves?”

Celestia sighed, her eyes flicking to a solitary spot of silence in the deafening noise. Raising a hoof, she waited until the room was quiet again. “General Cloudhammer, you are unusually silent. What troubles you?”

Rising to his hooves, Cloudhammer looked around the room. “The questions asked are valid ones Your Majesty, and mine may seem small by comparison. But what exactly was your purpose of bringing that machine to Court?”

“I am glad you asked. As I told you all before I departed for the embassy, President Foster had expressed interest in understanding more about our society. However, given that exposure to even the smallest amount of magic proves harmful or even fatal to humans, it was decided that this device would be sent. What specifically was used in its construction I do not know, but its technology is sufficiently simple that it can function for a short time so long as nopony uses active magic around it. Ambassador Rekera was kind enough to establish one of the zebra’s ritual patterns to help prevent active magic from reaching the machine, as some of you may have noticed already.”

Of course nopony had, barring the Guard, and over half the eyes present turned to look at the spiral laid out on the floor.

“The device is apparently able to make a record of both our voices and even what it sees, which the humans can then view at a later time.” Voices started being raised again, only to fall silent as Celestia raised her hoof once more. “While I’m sure that the means behind this device are fascinating, the more pressing matter at hand is gathering some supplies to help these humans in need. Given what I have seen, it is apparent that the humans affected by this tragedy will need food, medicine and shelters. President Foster has told me his nation can provide food and medicine, but building shelters will take time and materials. Therefore, I have asked for volunteers from Canterlot Civil Construction to be sent to help with building shelters. I will also be sending four wings of pegasus guards and four squads of unicorns both to serve as representatives of the throne and escort for the CCC workers. The pegasi will be led by Captain Shimmer and the unicorns by Captain Flare.”

“But Princess, how are you going to arrange for transport for so many ponies?” This from Fancypants, scribbling notes with a quill.

Celestia’s eyes glittered. “That is being taken care of. No need to worry yourself.”

“I must admit Celestia; I question your decision to bring this artifact from out of the vaults. It was sealed in there for a reason.” Luna followed her sister down into the lower levels, the flickering torchlight the only source of illumination.

“You worry too much Lu-Lu,” Celestia grinned as she heard her sister grumble under her breath at the hated nickname, “I admit that a certain amount of risk is posed by bringing them out. But remember; only one will be going through the dome. To be honest, I’m not even sure if they’ll work. But I do believe that we must do all that we can to help our new neighbors.”

Luna’s face twisted in worry. “Are you really sure they’re worth this much effort ‘Tia? If they’re as violent as you say, sending ponies who haven’t seen such things to where the humans are killing each other seems unwise, to put it mildly.”

“I know you are worried, and rightly so. President Foster has promised additional protection, and between them and the Guards I have selected, I am confident that they will be fine. I would send more Guards, but we need them here as well, to ensure that nopony is hurt as our world continues to emerge into theirs.”

“I hope you are correct Celestia, I truly do.” Luna said softly as they came before a large door, emblazoned with the stylized images of the Royal Sisters. The door shimmered with mystical power, only visible to the alicorns. They closed their eyes, lowering their horns in unison to touch their counterparts on the door. They made contact in a storm of magic that extinguished the candles and plunging them into darkness. Opening her eyes first, Luna created an orb of eldritch light that revealed the door to be open. Nodding to Celestia, the two trotted into the room, passing dust-shrouded artifacts that hummed with their own power despite their age. Some of the relics were even older than the Sisters, nopony knew exactly what they did but their power was such they had to be sealed away.

Close to the center of the chamber stood a pair of tall stones, carved with runic shapes lost to Equestrian prehistory. As the sisters drew close, the runes pulsed with a soft blue light. Luna stopped and regarded the stones with a mix of curiosity and dread.

“What’s bothering you Luna?” Celestia asked as she reached out with her magic and lifted the two stones into the air.

“I just remember the last time these were used.”

“I do as well Luna. The Beacon Stones are the most expedient way to deliver aid to the humans, as well as send further help if the ‘Marines’ that President Foster is sending prove inadequate.”

Luna sighed, then lit her horn and helped her sister take the stones from their normal resting place and ascended back into the castle, leaving the relics sealed again in darkness.