16 - Grand Opening
Week 45, Sunday-Wednesday
Twilight fussed about in her room, trying to make sure everything was in order for the quadruple check of her list. “Okay, so I have the schedule, my spare quills, ink...”
There was a banging on the door. “Twilight dear, are you checking your list again?”
“No! Don’t come in!” Twilight shouted frantically, to no avail as Rarity opened the door with a pulse of magic.
The white unicorn sighed, looking at the ground. “Twilight, you have to stop doing this. You’re going to wear yourself out if you keep it up.”
“But, I can’t stop. What if there’s something I forgot? The whole schedule for tomorrow will be thrown off! Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, AND President Foster will be here for the ceremony!” Twilight said desperately, mane beginning to ping out of place.
Rarity shook her head, trotting into the room. “Twilight, dear... just let me help you.” She ignited her horn, reaching out with her magic to smooth out Twilight’s disorganized mane. “You’ve been working yourself to the bone, and speaking from experience, in the end it’s not worth it.”
Twilight relaxed and took a deep breath. “You’re right. How are the others doing?”
“They’re doing just fine. Applejack’s finished organizing the kitchen with Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy tells me the garden is as ready as it will be, and Rainbow Dash has her training regimen finished for any new pegasi. Finally, Spike got a letter from the Princess; the support staff will be here by this evening.”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Thank you so much Rarity. I’ve just been agonizing over the fact that the Princess asked me to be in charge of everything.”
“Think nothing of it. Have you decided on what you’re going to say?”
Twilight absently levitated a stack of note cards over. “I worked on it for most of the morning, what do you think?”
Rarity took hold of the notes, her eyes flicking back and forth as she read through the cards. Once she was finished she looked up at Twilight skeptically. “Well... this is alright, it’s just... are you sure you’d want to use this speech?”
“What’s wrong with it? I worked hard on it.” Twilight protested.
“I’m sure you did my dear, but... really? ‘Our plan is to ponify you as soon as possible’... ’Expect it when you least expect it.’?” Rarity snorted and, with a tug of her magic, ripped the notes into pieces.
“Rarity! What in Equestria are you doing?” Twilight cried out, trying to catch the pieces of the cards in her hooves.
“I’m saving you from making a foal of yourself in front of everypony darling. Trust me, we can do better.” Rarity levitated another stack of notecards from the desk. “Now, let’s see what we can come up with...”
Twilight huffed irritably, but trotted over and sat next to Rarity as the two worked, quills darting back and forth as words formed, were scratched out, and rewritten in a frenzy of activity.
Finally, after nearly an hour had passed, Rarity set the cards neatly down on the table. “Well, I believe that is a much better speech, don’t you Twilight?”
Twilight frowned a little, but sighed acquiescence. “You’re right. Thank you for the help Rarity.”
“Don’t think anything of it dear. Now, I’m absolutely famished, so I’m afraid I must retire. Do you want to come?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, not quite yet. I’m going to do a quick physical inspection of the building first, make sure everypony has things as ready as they can be until the rest of the staff arrives.” She secured the note cards in her saddlebags, along with a clipboard and extra quills before trotting out of the door, closing it behind her and Rarity.
“Alright then, I’ll see you at dinner. And try not to worry so much, things will work out splendidly,” Rarity said as she turned and trotted for the rear stairwell.
Twilight waved and made her way down the hall, checking off the other staff rooms as she did so. On this floor there were twenty-six rooms, twenty-four of which had two beds in them, the twenty-fifth was Rarity’s and the twenty-sixth was hers. Each paired room had two each of beds, desks, and firm beanbag chairs that were easier for ponies to sit in. Once she’d verified that all the rooms were prepared, she opened the door to the stairwell and made her way down to the next floor, the residence hall for the Royal Guard contingent that would be arriving later. There were only twelve sleeping rooms on this floor, the rest being given over to meeting rooms and a small lunchroom/breakroom.
The next three floors were devoted to residence housing for new converts; each room was built for two humans, which made them overly comfortable for a pony. Twilight smiled as she checked off the last of the floors, and grimaced as her stomach protested being denied food sooner.
Trotting down the stairs to the first floor, she saw Fluttershy coming her way, a small bag held in her mouth. Setting it down, Fluttershy smiled. “There you are Twilight, I was wondering where you were. We already served lunch, but I saved you some...” the pegasus said quietly.
“Thanks a lot Fluttershy; I guess I lost track of time on my inspection.” Twilight admitted as she picked it up in her magic, the two trotting down the hallway to the main cafeteria. They opened the doors, revealing the massive room filled with tables waiting for their first use. There were a few tables set up near the serving stations for the few ponies on site, and Twilight could see that a few were still there.
Sadly, Twilight didn’t see any of her other friends eating, so she took an empty seat and put her lunch down. “Have you eaten already Fluttershy?”
“Oh, um.... yes. I’m sorry Twilight, I wanted to wait, but I hadn’t eaten much for breakfast, so I ate without you.” Fluttershy admitted, hiding behind her mane in embarrassment.
“Oh, well that’s okay then, don’t let me keep you. I’ll be finished here soon, and the inspection after that. Catch you and the girls for dinner?”
“Okay Twilight, if you’re sure you don’t mind...”
“It’s fine Fluttershy, really.” Twilight said with a smile, and Fluttershy brightened a little bit before she made her way out the other door toward the greenhouses out back. Twilight shook her head a little before turning to devouring her lunch, a couple daisy sandwiches and a celery stalk. Putting the bag in the garbage, she turned and trotted out the door, turning down the hallway to the reception desk, noting happily that it was dust free and expertly organized, no doubt due to Rarity’s influence. She trotted out the front door, nodding to the two guardponies sitting at their posts, and turned around to face the entrance.
It was this moment, Twilight decided. Not the grand opening, the ceremony to come. No, it would be this moment she committed to memory, before the crowds, before the conversions. This moment alone, standing beside the sign staring up at *her* Bureau, the bureau the Princess had trusted her with operating.
---
Nimbus rolled her shoulders to settle her armor, still surprised at how comfortable it was in spite of its appearance. Spreading her wings to complete the stretch, her ear twitched as she heard somepony walking up behind her.
“Is it time to leave sir?” she asked without turning, knowing the smell of the pony approaching without a doubt. That was another thing that she still couldn’t believe, was how sensitive her nose was compared to her human one. She turned, seeing the wry grin on First Lieutenant Willow Spark’s muzzle.
“I’m starting to suspect there isn’t a pony out there who can sneak up on you Nimbus.”
“Not a chance sir.” She said with a snort.
“Is your squad ready?”
“Been ready since the sun rose sir.”
“Then round ‘em up Second Lieutenant, the unicorns are preparing the teleport now.” Willow said as he pointed to where a familiar stone stood. A group of unicorn and earth pony guards milled around it, gathering supply containers into a neat pile.
She gave a salute with her wing and took to the air, curving over to the pegasus training ground. Landing outside the barracks, she nosed open the door and trotted inside. “Alright boys and girls, it’s time to go, so get your flanks up and ready to move out!”
The ten pegasi sitting in the lounge all jumped to their hooves with a clatter of armor, four of them grabbing supply bags as they did. Nimbus stopped the last pegasus out the door with a wing. “Everyone know their jobs Connor?”
Conner nodded. “They’re ready for this Second Lieutenant.”
“Then let’s get this show on the road Master Sergeant.” Heading back outside, they took off and flew back to the gathered guardponies. Nimbus landed, looking around for a second before noticing one of the unicorns trotting up to her.
“So, ready for your first deployment Nimbus?” Flare asked, a sarcastic smile on his muzzle.
Nimbus snorted, a coy smile on her face as she turned away, smacking him with the tip of her tail. “Just try not to get distracted. Don’t want a repeat of the last exam, do you?”
Flare, very glad the armor enchantment hid his blush, opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off as Cloudhammer approached, the assembled guards falling into formation automatically. The older pegasus looked over the thirty six ponies standing in front of him for a few moments before beginning to pace.
“For the newfoals among you, when you came to this island you were clumsy, uncoordinated, and some of the worst recruits I’ve ever had to train. Not only did you not know how to fight as ponies, you barely even had your front legs sorted out from your back.
But over the past six weeks, you’ve proven yourselves as the most dedicated of an already dedicated group of ponies. You learned how to stand on your own four hooves, but more importantly you learned how to stand as a unit. You were given challenges above and beyond anything normal ponies would even have nightmares about, and you overcame them. You’ve proven your worthiness to stand here today, and I am proud to have you in our ranks. Your training is not over, but now moves into the field. Obey your commanding officers, and show that admitting you all to our ranks was the right choice. Do you understand me?”
“Sir yes sir!” the assembled guards shouted as one.
“Then don’t let me or the Guard down. Captain, prepare the Beacon Stone.”
Shining Armor nodded and ignited his horn, the stone responding with its own azure glow. The guards shut their eyes as the clearing around them twisted, to be replaced by a plainly furnished conference room.
“Is everypony here?” asked a tall earth pony stallion.
“Looks like it Bulwark.” Nimbus replied. As quickly as she’d come up with her pony name, Bulwark had settled on his even quicker, though the mare found some small confidence in the fact that she’d gotten her cutie mark ahead of anyone else in the first class.
“Alright, settle down everypony.” Willow Spark said as he trotted to the front of the group. “Okay, we’ve discussed the deployment plan in depth; you all know your initial assignments. This conference room will serve as our meeting area; I will be posting duty rotations here as well. So let’s get to work, they’ll be teleporting the civilians in about an hour before dinner.”
"Sir yes sir.” The assembled guards dutifully replied before breaking open the supply containers, each guard getting a small bag to carry to their rooms. Flare stood by the door checking off each pony as they exited the room.
“Nimbus, Bulwark, if you’d wait here a moment, we need to confirm our arrival with Twilight Sparkle.”
The other two guards looked at each other nervously. Sure they had known they would be meeting the world famous unicorn for over a week now, but hearing about it in briefings and suddenly knowing they were minutes away from it were two entirely different things.
Flare chuckled. “She’s really not that scary, trust me.” He turned and trotted out the door, Nimbus and Bulwark following after him.
As Nimbus trotted down the hall, she snorted irritably as her wings tried to unfurl again. ‘Why does he have to be so cute? He’s not even my species,’ she thought to herself. ‘But... he is now... God, this is so confusing...’
---
Twilight carefully picked her way through the cafeteria to her friends table, looking around at the now crowded room with a happy smile. Where there had only been the six of them and Spike, now there were fifty ponies eating happily and conversing with each other. On top of that, the building had thirty-six Royal Guard stationed to provide security, in addition to human military security outside. Twilight had asked what the specifics of that security would be, but they’d rebuffed her, saying something about ‘need to know’ or something like that. Shaking her head irritably, she made a note to ask Celestia about it tomorrow if she got a chance.
“Everythin’ alright there Sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
“Yeah, just have a lot on my mind is all. So, you all ready for tomorrow?”
“Yep! Those first humans are in for one doozy of a first meal as ponies!” Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly.
Rarity nodded as she wiped at her mouth with a napkin. “I’m ready to help with the managerial side of things.”
“Once we start getting pegasi converts, I’ll have ‘em flying like pros in no time!” Rainbow Dash said confidently.
“And the greenhouse is looking wonderful. The animals love it, and I’m sure the new earth ponies will too.” Fluttershy said meekly.
“Alright, excellent. I have my preliminary lesson plan drawn up for instructing the unicorns as well, so we should be able to operate at peak capacity, luck permitting.” Twilight said with a small smile.
“So, what are we waiting for? Might as well celebrate our last night of freedom while we can.” Jared said as he trotted over, expertly setting down his tray without spilling his milk.
“Well look at you! Not a drop out of place.” Pinkie Pie said with a smile as she scooted over.
“You seem to be doing well Jared, anything you’ve had trouble with?” Twilight asked curiously, a flash of lavender light making everypony wince as she conjured a piece of parchment and a quill.
“Well, I admit I can’t wait for Rainbow’s flight classes, I’ve been itching to fly for the past two weeks now.” Jared glared at Rainbow, who shrugged her wings.
“Hey, I said I would, and I will. I’m not gonna leave ya hangin’ Jared. I’ve just needed to come up with a plan to teach you new converts.”
Jared stared at her for a minute longer, and then turned his muzzle back to his plate of vegetables with a muted grumble.
Across the cafeteria, three tables were pushed together for the Royal Guard contingent. They were still clustered based on their units, the majority of their training having been spent on acclimating to their bodies and learning basic drills. However, they were starting to open up with each other, much to the amusement of the officers.
“So, what’s it like over in the earth pony side of things?” One of the pegasus guards asked her neighbor.
The guard flicked an eye toward Bulwark a few seats down, then leaned in closer. “It’s brutal. That hard-flank Aegis has us dragging blocks through mud, long marches with a heavy load, and that obstacle course...” He shuddered.
The pegasus blinked. “Sounds... intense.”
“You don’t need to say that again. What about you all?”
She winced. “Endurance flight training, aerial maneuvers and weather control. I used to fly Apaches, and I was never this maneuverable. Or crashed so often.”
He laughed a little. “Well, at least crashing now doesn’t involve exploding.”
She grimaced. “Yea, now it involves high-altitude tumbles and getting fried by lightning. Though I’ve never felt better when I’m just up there, sitting on the clouds and shaping them. I got busted this one time trying to turn a training cloud into a hopscotch board, like the ones kids draw on the sidewalks all the time...” She trailed off, a small smile on her muzzle. “It’s actually what inspired me to pick a new name for myself.”
“Oh? What’d you go with?” He asked curiously.
“Skipjack.” She said, her ears folding back a little. “Thinking back on it, it sounds a little silly...”
“Well, at least you have a good pony name. I’m Dusty.” he said with a chuckle. “Though I guess that could work for me too. First Lieutenant Exemplar is always busting my ass because I look dirty, even fresh out of the shower.”
"That could work." She laughed, sticking out a hoof. “Well, it was nice talking to you.”
“Same.” He replied, returning the gesture.
Further down the table where the officers sat, Nimbus shook her head and turned to Willow. “So tell me sir, how does the Guard handle inter-guard relationships?”
Willow lifted his head from his salad in confusion. “What do you mean?” He followed her gaze to see Skipjack and Dusty talking, shy smiles on their muzzles. “Ahhh...”
She sighed. “Want me to let her down? I’ve seen it happen before.”
Willow laughed. “No, the Guard doesn’t discourage relationships. We do for the most part want to see relationships form outside our ranks, but then again our mare population has been virtually nonexistent for the past few centuries. But no, if two ponies find somepony they love, it’s not anypony’s right but theirs to get in the way.”
“Really...” Nimbus said, her eyes flicking briefly down to where Flare sat. She twitched as Willow jabbed her with his wing.
“Oh, now I see. Well, good luck to you if you decide to go for him, Nimbus.” Willow said with a laugh as she elbowed him with her foreleg.
“You tell him and I’ll sick a thunderstorm on you while you sleep.” She growled as she went back to eating her meal.
---
The day couldn’t have started any better. The human staff had all arrived on schedule from their homes in the area, while Jared and the janitorial staff had worked extra hard to make sure that every surface was spotless.
Twilight paced back and forth outside of the entrance, looking to the sky every few seconds.
“Twilight, I’m sure Princess Celestia will be here soon, pacing out here won’t make it come any faster.” Elizabeth Ross said as she walked through the double doors.
“I know Elizabeth, but there’s so much to get organized to make sure today goes off without a hitch-” Twilight felt Elizabeth’s hand catch her shoulder, stopping her pacing and ranting.
“Twilight, relax. You’re starting to worry everyone else-” They both looked up as a flash of light appeared in the sky, resolving itself into the shape of an ornate chariot, pulled by a team of six pegasi, with four more flying alongside, “-and you see? Right on schedule.”
Twilight snorted as the pegasi gracefully pulled the chariot down to the ground, coming to a stop directly in front of the doors. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna took a gentle step down from the chariot, the former crossing the space to nuzzle Twilight affectionately.
“Twilight! So good to see you again. I take it everything is well in hoof for today’s grand opening?”
“Well-” Twilight started, only for Elizabeth to put a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s going wonderfully Princess. We’re right on schedule, President Foster will be arriving in the next two hours, and I’m sure the press will be here long before that.” Everyone looked over as a van pulled into the parking lot. “Case in point.”
The passenger door on the van opened to reveal a familiar figure, pushing her brown hair back as she smiled at the gathered ponies and Dr. Ross. “Well, this is a nice change of pace from the last time we met. Unless the deranged gunmen are caught in traffic?” Holly said with a rueful laugh.
Dr. Ross frowned, while the Celestia and Luna simply stared at Holly. Twilight looked at the ground for a second.
Holly sighed. “Sorry, bad timing.” She looked up. “Well, how have you all been?” She suddenly remembered that both of the Royal Sisters were there, and bowed her head slightly. “I’m sorry if I offended Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.”
“It is alright, we know you meant no harm.” Luna said before anyone else could say anything. “Now Twilight, since we have some time before President Foster arrives, why not show us on a tour of the Bureau? I admit that I have been curious to see the actual building for myself.”
“Well sure, we have time.” Twilight said, glad to have something to focus on.
“After you Twilight.” Princess Celestia said as the group made its way into the building.
---
“Hello President Foster, a pleasure to see you on such an auspicious day.” Celestia said as Foster entered the lobby.
“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Twilight, Dr. Ross. Good to see you all could make it.” Foster said with a sarcastic smile. “So, the press is starting to go crazy, shall we get this show on the road?”
“Of course President Foster, will you be staying afterward for a tour?” Celestia asked with smile.
“I’d love to, it’s much more enjoyable than the schedule I have for the day, but I’m meeting with Britain’s Prime Minister to arrange transport for their first batch of serum. Then comes a few budget meetings. Oh, and the Japanese Prime Minister was wondering if they could send some volunteers to be converted, then go to Equestria to learn your language.”
“Of course, that wouldn’t be a problem. Honestly, if all the nations that are in the first wave of Bureau construction so wish, they can send volunteers to learn Equestrian as well.”
“I’m certain that they’ll be willing to take it under consideration. I believe that there’s a list of candidates we came up with as well, they’ll be coming in the second wave of converts.”
“Excellent, if you can forward their information to our embassy, we’ll be sure to expedite their transport to Equestria. I’m sure the professors at the School for Gifted Unicorns will dearly love the opportunity to instruct new converts.”
“I’ll let Curtis know when I get back to the White House. So, I think we’ve made the reporters stew long enough.” Foster gestured toward the door. “Shall we?”
Together Foster, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight all walked to the doors, walking through them to a series of flashes as the reporters vied for the best shot. A red ribbon strung between two posts stood in front of the entrance. The quartet crossed around it to stand two on either side, Foster next to Celestia and Twilight next to Luna.
Taking a deep breath, Foster took a step forward. “My fellow Americans, citizens of the world, and Equestrians. We are here today to mark a truly historic day. Almost ninety days ago, we successfully tested the ponification serum on a human subject. The result was a resounding success, and we began to work on mass-producing the serum for public use. The first batch was used for our program to give severely wounded veterans a second chance to serve the greater good of both Equestria and America.”
Celestia took a step forward to stand next to Foster. “Now, this choice is open to all. Despite the ever-approaching threat of the Barrier completely surrounding your world, we refuse to make this anything but your choice. The sovereign right of all intelligent life is the ability to decide its own fate, and before all else that right will be maintained. Furthermore, I would like to take this chance to state that all services provided by any Conversion Bureaus will be provided free of charge, paid for by the Crown of Equestria.”
The reporters all started trying to ask questions, only for Foster to raise his hand. “I understand you have questions, and we will be more than happy to answer them in a moment. But first, there is the reason we are all here.” He turned, gesturing to one of the Secret Service agents, who produced a set of the giant scissors used the world over for events like these. Foster took them and turned to Celestia. “Shall we?”
Celestia took a step forward, lifting a hoof as Foster positioned the open scissors, holding the bottom half. She carefully pushed down on the top half, shearing clean through the ribbon.
“I now declare the San Francisco Conversion Bureau officially open. Now, I’ll take the first question.” Foster asked, waiting patiently as every reporter shouted their question at once.
---
Twilight took a deep breath, the saddlebags feeling twice as heavy with the weight of the notecards for her speech inside. “Alright Twilight, you can do this. You’ve been ready for the past two days for this. Just take your time and don’t choke.”
She looked up at the door, exhaled heavily and trotted forward, nudging the door open and entering the conference room. There was a simple stage with a short podium set up at her end of the room, while the rest of the room was given over to row after row of folding chairs. Approximately one hundred fifty humans sat in the chairs, all of them staring at her as she climbed onto the stage and took her place at the podium. She shrugged out of her saddlebags and lifted out her notecards, taking a moment to make sure they were straightened out.
“Good morning, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I am the supervisor for this Conversion Bureau. You are all here because you have made the decision to undergo the conversion process and become a pony. I may not understand your decision, having been born a pony myself; but rest assured that we are here to make this process as efficient and hassle free as possible for you.
After we finish here, you’ll be divided up into floors, where you’ll meet your roommate for the duration of your stay. Your room assignments will be posted on the display board in each hallway. Each of you will spend the next three or four days learning about Equestria, what each of the three pony tribes are capable of, and other topics, which are explained in greater detail in the flyers we have provided in your rooms. After your conversion, you will be assigned to work with an instructor for the type of pony that you become, and after your seventh day has run its course, you will have your choice to return to your homes here in San Francisco, or if you so desire you can petition to move to Equestria. A third option exists for those residents of Hawaii displaced by the thaumatic energy radiating from Equestria, in that you can return to your homes. We have removed any food spoiled by the loss of electricity, but beyond that your homes have been untouched.
Your first day of classes will begin tomorrow, the rest of today we decided would be best served by allowing you to get settled into your rooms, meet your roommates, and get a chance to explore the facility. However, I will need to emphasize that the kitchen, clinic and basement is off-limits, as is the fifth and sixth floors. I cannot stress this enough, the Royal Guard that are stationed here will not tolerate any violations of those rules.”
Twilight smiled. “But other than that, the entire facility is open to you. We serve breakfast an hour after sunrise, lunch at noon, and then dinner at approximately six o’clock.
Now, are there any questions?” Twilight asked curiously, looking out of the sea of faces staring back at here. For a few long seconds no one said anything, and Twilight’s smile started to feel forced as she wondered if the very first group of converts really wouldn’t ask any questions.
A single hand from the middle of the group finally rose and she pointed with a hoof. A human male, of average height and short black hair stood up. “Yes, my name’s Ryan Wilson, I just have a couple short questions. First, I’ve heard the news stories on how the serum doesn’t hurt, but given that it’s a complete change of our body, what assurances do we have? And second, do the rumors of the serum adjusting our personalities have any basis in fact?”
Twilight took a moment to compose her thoughts. “Those are excellent questions Ryan, and I’d be happy to answer them. First, the serum is actually administered in conjunction with an anesthetic, so you will be unconscious for the duration of the conversion. We’ve converted one thousand and one humans with the serum thus far, and none of them reported any pain from the actual conversion process. Some had difficulty using their new legs and banged their chins on the floor, but nothing more serious than that.
As for your second question, I can safely say that the serum in no way alters your personality. Our first convert, Jared Howell, has been a pony for almost ninety days, and has shown no loss, degradation or alteration of his personality that we observed from all the time we spent with him. He actually works here in the Bureau, so if you want, I’m sure he’d be happy to answer any questions you have. Are there any other questions?” Twilight looked around the room, but didn’t see any other hands go up. “Alright, well if any you have further questions, feel free to stop by my office after lunch, it’s located in room 102; it’s just down the hall from this room here.”
Everyone sat there for a few seconds before a round of applause started up. Twilight smiled warmly as the humans got to their feet, all filing out the door, except for Ryan and a more overweight male, who walked up to her.
“Is there something else I can help you with?” Twilight asked as she climbed down from the stage.
“I was just curious on if it’d be possible for me and my... ‘friend’ Ben to be assigned to the same room and conversion time.” Ryan said, Ben looking slightly embarrassed. “It’s just that he and I wanted to go through this together, so we were wondering if it might be possible to, y’know...”
“Well, officially your room assignments and conversion day are supposed to be random.” Twilight said, putting a hoof to her chin in thought. “Although, what we can do is arrange for a switch with one of your current roommates. Then once we know which day you two would want to be converted on, we can ask if someone would be willing to trade. Does that sound alright to you?”
“That would be great!” Ryan said as his face broke into a relieved smile. He turned to Ben and threw his arms around him in a crushing embrace. Then, to Twilight’s surprise, they pulled away slightly, only to lean in for a kiss. Blushing, she turned her gaze to stare intently at the floor.
Realizing Twilight was still there; the two men broke off the kiss and separated. “Sorry about that, we were just a little worried when you mentioned that room assignments and conversion times were random.”
Twilight looked up. “Well, I’ll definitely see what I can do to help you two out. I’ll just need to double check the room assignments. Do you think you can come by my office in about an hour? That way everyone will have found their rooms, but not unpacked too much.”
“Sure thing Miss Sparkle, and thank you so much for the help.” Ryan said as he and Ben turned and walked out the door.
Twilight watched them go, and then nodded to herself. “Alright, that went well. I think I can handle this job just fine.”
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i like controlfreak twilight
. good job on this one. you had me think thouth of my own story.
This just keeps pegging the needle on the Awesomometer at eleven. The knobs didn't need to be ripped off, they blew off in a shower of awesomeness sparks.
I need an Awesomometer that goes to TWELVE.
777707 I'm not sure 12 is enough. We should probably make them go to around 10...
.
.
.
...thousand. Anything lower and we run too much risk of busting another one.
AWESOME!!
Neurotic Twilight is best pony.
I liked the reference to Twilight's slightly clumsy speech from the original Conversion Bureau story
Glad Rarity was there to help out this time!
Thank god someone finally did away with that crap speech from the very first TCB. That was one of the most bullshit things about it. Heck from what Twilight said in it, Equestria pretty much endorsed the PER....speaking of which where are those bastards anyway? I mean you introduced them and then proceeded to just leave that plot thread hanging.
Cloudhammer, I've noticed that, in dialogue, when you have someone directly addressing someone else, you'll leave out the comma separating the addressee from the rest of the sentence:
"They’re ready for this Second Lieutenant."
"Then let’s get this show on the road Master Sergeant."
“Alright, settle down everypony.”
The sentences are parsed much better with the commas in place:
"They’re ready for this, Second Lieutenant."
"Then let’s get this show on the road, Master Sergeant."
“Alright, settle down, everypony.”
It's a tiny oversight when writing, but it really sticks out to a reader.
777707
Mine just keeps spinning, I dont know if it even stops!
Either way, It was fun to see my little contribution being used. Twilight was fun too. Now when is pinkie pie's 4th wall class
778131
Bro making fun or ignoring the original speech has been a time honored tradition in TCB. He's not the first to crack at how terribad it it, not by a long shot.
778131
I personally regret referencing that original speech from Blaze's work in my own works - at the time, I was trying to establish a connection to what seemed to be a growing shared mythos.
In retrospect, I wish I had never used that work, and just written my own speech. Anything would have been better. Ten minutes of Sparkle going 'Um...' would have been better. I agree with you. Goddess, is that speech terrible. Even hanging a lantern on how bad it is doesn't help, in retrospect.
Oh well. Good on Cloudhammer, in any case, right?
Twilight watched them go, and then nodded to herself. “Alright, that went well. I think I can handle this job just fine.” ~ Tragedy will strike momentarily...
778419 Aye. In fact I think CLoudhammer's TCB far surpassed the original on all accounts. It keeps the ponies relatively in character and Twilight does answer the whole mind control aspect with a negative and it's backed up with Jared acting pretty much the same as he did before. And it skips the really stupid plot thread from the original fic of Equestria being overpopulated and part of that solution was ponifying 19 billion humans (a rather stupid number as this planet can barely support the current 7 billion much less twice that) which in the end just means that even with the expansion of Equestria onto Earth, they still had way too many ponies.
Come to think of it, I haven't read a single TCB where humanity said "Screw this, let's just colonize Mars. We've been meaning too anyway."
"As for your second question, I can safely say that the serum in no way alters your personality. Our first convert, Jared Howell, has been a pony for almost ninety days, and has shown no loss, degradation or alteration of his personality that we observed from all the time we spent with him."
Sir, you just made this one of the best TCB fics that I've read. This is THE biggest complaint I have with TCB fics.
I also like that you're portraying the PER as what they really are: a bunch of crazy ponies with a somewhat accurate view of a "problem", and really insane "solution" for it.
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There's one called "Ares Kingdom", I believe.
This is the first TCB story I've ever read. In fact, I had no idea what any of it was before this. And I'm glad, because this is awesome.
Also, REALLY glad that you finally included some NCOs in this one. Again, an army of Officers and Privates would never get anything done.
I'm worried, sincerely I hate this stories since most end with the ponies being racist, inexplicably superior, having it easy and destroying the human race, while Celestia gets more subjects, a few billion over the other races of Equestria's world, and in this story you show she get's their souls too... Do the converts tell this to the public? That they are also giving their souls to the ponies?
Ok, great story.
hard to complain about. Whenever a problem seems to crop up, it is solved in the next chapter. At first the politics seemed a bit to easy and everyone too trusted, but you solved that with the spies. I like the new recruits, and the added humor. For some reason I keep thinking those guys are spies because they stayed behind, doubt it though. Starting the book off with the Navy was not expected and needed to reread the first page. Also wondering how they will handle the possible influx of ponies, but they may decide to stay in their homes, and how to deal with their entire infrastructure collapsing when the field finishes. Really surprised that the main research facility only had 6 guards total.
So one of your characters in named after you? (cloudhammer)
dam i love it
