Title says it all, folks. Rainbow Dash gets chubby. Then Soarin gives rubby. A simple story of something silly.
Kick-ace cover art by talented sillyman Trinity-Fate62 on Deviantart.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 14th, 2020
Brony_Fife
A simple writer with complicated taste.
Brony_Fife
Joined 19th Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- D-APE · 6.8k words · 95 5 · 8.2k views
- Baron Von Clop · 6.9k words · 77 8 · 6.2k views
- iceblazethequick · 11k words · 114 10 · 8.2k views
- TacoBiteToughGuy · 2.2k words · 123 3 · 8.8k views
- Liquid Savage · 1.8k words · 37 4 · 1.6k views
- Shamrock95 · 2k words · 38 11 · 3.4k views
- Smitty91 · 2.9k words · 59 18 · 10k views
- Bugfriend · 10k words · 29 4 · 3k views
Featured In11
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
Sensual Fiction (SFG)1,192 stories ·1,724 members
Rainbow Dash+Soarin'=<3388 stories ·780 members
- Struggling Authors25,176 stories ·3,671 members
My Not-So-Little Pony723 stories ·998 members
Straight Shipping6,608 stories ·2,892 members
United Federation of Awesomeness2,763 stories ·222 members
Soarin and the Wonderbolts769 stories ·239 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.171 seconds
Total duration
916 users online
1,368,469 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...
I found it quite enjoyable. Almost wished for some good cloppiness added, but that might have detracted from the story some.
3214619
Well, it's a fetish fic, so no sex allowed. Soarin gives her a belly rub, not a cervix rub.
Although I'm sure she wouldn't have minded that.
3214622
PRICELESS!!!
Well, that was, how should I say this, interesting? My initial reaction at the title page was more of "dafuq?", but after reading it, I thought it was nice. Kinda thrown off by the mental image of fat Dashie, but it was very well written. Nice job. Veerrryyy interesting choice of a story though.
Again, great writing, very smooth story flow. Good luck on any future stories
RDD
bwahahaa aahahhahaa
wtf 
brewwhaaahahahahahaaaaahasahhhaaha
3214657
Yeah, sorry my fetish wasn't as crazy-creepy as you were hoping. I got a soft spot for slim chicks, but gimme a lady with meat on her bones any day.
Now I know THAT'S a lie. Just you wait, I'll go over it tomorrow and scream at how many sentences begin or end with the same word, the number of typos or misused words...
This reminds me a little of an argument I constantly find regarding Superman. "Nobody with his superpowers would ever use it for good. They'd use it for their personal gain."
You might not see Soarin this way, but I find him a Clark Kent to Blueblood's Bruce Wayne. I understood your criticism of BB since well, he's a jerk. I could totally see him using his status to score with the ladies.
But not everyone would do that. Read his dialogue again and you'll find that Soarin never used his status to take advantage of mares who only wanted to bang him for the bragging rights of sleeping with a celebrity.
My point is, the difference between Soarin and Blueblood is that Soarin is a genuinely good person. He considers sex a connection of more than just the physical persons. If that connection won't be there, if that mixture of understanding and respect is not present, then he won't want it.
Read RD's statement regarding how Soarin won't let her become fat again. He knows that as sexy a chubby Dashie can be, her chances of achieving her dreams would be totally ruined. He puts her interests first.
To summarise, Soarin is too good a stallion to take advantage of anypony and too good to let himself be taken advantage of. She might not have been his first kiss, but Rainbow Dash is his first in everything else.
Or maybe I'm just being too idealistic?
3217550
My point was not that good people "avoid" the occasional fuck. My point was that Soarin wouldn't use his status to get chicks because he's too decent to manipulate people. I just don't see him as the kind of guy who would do that. It might have gotten a bit lost back there; I wrote that comment half-drunk.
...and I still spell everything correctly even when under the influence of alcohol. Wow.
Although your comment on why Soarin doesn't just date other celebrities does make my mind wander a little...
Spitfire: tried to, but it turns out she's gay
Fleetfoot: tried to ask her out... but she only has eyes for Big Macintosh (who, by the way, isn't even aware she exists)
Octavia: turns out she's a high-strung, OCD bitch and not worth the effort. In fact, his reaction to finally leaving the restaurant (in which all Octavia did was complain about the food) was I'M FREEEEEE
Vinyl Scratch: sexy, foulmouthed, Crazy Awesome Vinyl Scratch. After a few dates, some snogging, and some cuddling, it looked like Soarin had finally found his lady. Then she brought out the bullwhips and sour cream, and... that was about the end of it.
Of course, this is all my fanon interps of each listed character. But thanks for giving me some material for a shipfic.
...and material for another clopfic. The adventure continues!
3218922
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of comics in general. Batman, Judge Dredd, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl, My Little Pony, Adventure Time, Green Hornet, and anything by Earthworm Jim creator Doug TenNapel have all found their way onto my bookshelves.
Well I think I got through implying how unlucky Soarin is with mares, so maybe Octavia, while normally uptight anyway, was just having a really bad day up to that point.
The descriptions of Dash's chub were top notch, but I just can't get into SoarinDash.
Fat Dash on her own is perfectly fine, with all the intricacies and levels of depth that might be missed if it was any other horse, and I guess there needed to be more of a plot than 'blue pony is fat oh no' but my personal preference killed some of the enjoyment.
10/10 for your taste in art though.
Although I'm not one for romances with a lot of talking about feelings and all that mushy stuff (yes, I'm aware that's pretty much every romance ever written), I liked the belly rubbing and descriptions of said belly. That said, your writing is decent, but you never seem to really set the scenes. There are a lot of parts where I have no clue where they are or if it's night or day. In my opinion, descriptions of the world around the characters can add a lot to a story.
Also, I don't see why you put the sex tag on this story if there's no actual sex. Just say'n. Now, if you would excuse me, I'm going back to playing the hell out of GTA5.
It was cute. I wonder if you have what it takes to write the cutest fic this fandom has ever seen. So fluffy and adorable, it'd be like a kitten made out of cotton candy. Seriously, cute is your thing. EMBRACE THE CUTE. BECOME FIFE, DIABETIZER OF ENTIRE WORLDS.
3218638
I guess it seems Spitfire is- flaming.
I might have to use that Fleetfoot crush thing.Obviously not in MTAS, but later on.
And then the restaurant burned to the ground.
3226025
I'm surprised you caught that Spitfire pun right off the bat.
Honestly, Kam, I was a little worried you'd have thought this fic would be gross because of how fetishy it is. Or are you just saying all this to make me feel better?
3226228
I am a connoisseur of puns. I'm surprised I missed the one from the beginning of Equestria Girls, where Ashleigh Ball's name is on a ball.
Eh, I don't really mind fetishy stuff. I'm the kind of guy who can look at cute pictures of girls with empty, bleeding eye sockets. Yeah, I find that kind of thing cute, so I'm not really in a position to judge you for liking belly rubs.
I am being entirely sincere. Cute is more your thing than horror. Though maybe I'm just desensitized to horrifying stuff, so it isn't as scary to me.
im liking the story. but im thinking im missing tge significance of the belly rub, as it seems like a useless and forced plot point in what would otherwise be spectacular
3235916
The point of the story is Rainbow Dash bonding with Soarin over an absurd situation. Come on, would RD really let herself go like that? Do you really think Soarin's a chubby chaser? Despite how odd this whole fic is, I feel it really comes together with the impromptu belly rub.
3236074 when you put it like that, i guess i can see it. and dont worry, you dont sound snippy. i was taking things to seriously
The sex tag doesn't work here...
3711258
All fetishes are sexual in nature; therefore, sexual suggestion is present; therefore, sex tag.
Warning: This comment contains spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, DON'T read this comment!
You have requested a critique from me, and I am here to deliver. Before I begin, I would like to state that any criticisms I have against this story are not meant to either discourage or insult you; they are only things that I believe could be either fixed or improved upon. You may take or leave the stuff presented in this comment as you will.
With that out of the way, here we go!
With fatfics, the first thing I focus on is not the fattening, not even on the characters, but on the situation present. I give you credit for creating a believable scenario where Rainbow Dash could fatten up (although I don't understand why she was given leave for that long; maybe it was an off-season vacation or she injured herself? Either way, I think an explanation of that would've helped put her in the beginning stages better). Not having a longing for a physical activity to do, or finding time to hang out with her busy friends, would leave her feeling alone; combine that with how large meals and a reason for her to have large meals, and you've created a good scenario for her fattening.
I also like how Rainbow Dash doesn't accept her corpulence at first. There are certain characters I can see readily accepting their new weight gain, and others that I can see wanting to either curl up and hide, lose their weight, or some other negative reaction—Rainbow Dash included. This not only seems more attuned to her character, but also helps set up the relationship between herself and Soarin'. She also has proper motivation to lose the weight: to continue pursuing her dream, and to "look good" with her friends (if one wants to relate physique in terms of beauty). It is a good set-up, and Rainbow Dash reacts realistically, in the beginning.
She reacts well in the first chapter, methinks; her acting in the second chapter, however, particularly at one part, is questionable. I can accept that Soarin' has never had sex with mares, although I can see how someone couldn't; what I cannot get behind is the notion that in a tender, odd moment like this, where Rainbow Dash is out of her element because of her prodigious girth, she would laugh at him about it. Given Soarin's trying to get the old her back, I can accept that she'd be [self-]arrogant after a while. But laughing at him for not experimenting with mares is taking that arrogance too far for me, given that she's both not in her usual state and in an intimate moment.
But that is the only complaint about Rainbow Dash's characterization I have; the rest I've no problem with. Soarin' was consistently characterized throughout, being someone with a good heart that can't control his mouth. He comes off as genuinely concerned about her well-being, and takes on the roll of helper in order to get her to lose weight. I will admit that in chapter one, I didn't get the notion that he was checking her out; it comes off as very vague.
This really doesn't tell me anything. I assume the purpose of this is to establish that Soarin' has a tendency to check her out, but this, by my knowledge, is the only reference to it. For me, this isn't enough of an establishment between the two (but it may be just me). If you try this in the future, I would suggest having more references to his checking her out, or have her think more about how the helper treats the chubby pony.
I don't think Soarin's strong in the first chapter, but he's well-written in the second chapter. He's hesitant because he's confronted by both an admirable pony and his fetish. And he took the rubbing both slowly and encompassing. And in the end, he was valiant and stuck up for her when she was down. For me, it didn't come off as being overdramatic.
To recap: I like Rainbow Dash in the first chapter but have problems with Soarin'; I like Soarin' in the second chapter but have problems with Rainbow Dash. I bring all of this up because I personally feel that characterization and how it reflects the situation is paramount to making a good fatfic. Rainbow Dash's teasing bothered me because she was in a moment where things were going to get intimate, and she was in a state that didn't seem to warrant her teasing; I was expecting her to be more casual about things, or nervous, bringing the focus more on the belly rubbing. Soarin's lack on interaction on chapter one bothers me because his appreciation of her body doesn't come across until the belly rubbing, even though we're meant to see something there beforehand. Where you do good, you do really good. Soarin's tenderness and Rainbow Dash's frustration and embarrassment fit the situation and help create the mood that brings them closer together.
There's also Applejack, Spitfire and Twilight. I don't have a problem with either Applejack or Twilight, as they serve their functions are are supportive in their own right. I can't get behind Spitfire being nonchalant about Rainbow Dash's weight. I'm not sure how one would improve on that, but it's just not something that sits well with me. This isn't a BIG problem; it's more of a nitpick than anything else.
Now we get to the meatier portion of the review (pun intended): her weight gain. This:
is a decent way to describe her new figure. With a story that focuses on the connection between Rainbow Dash and Soarin' and their fascination with the belly, I think it's a good thing that the story didn't get into too much tactile detail at first. Yes, it is there, but it doesn't overshadow the more important focus of the physical and social aspect of it. She struggles tp do things with her new weight, and she struggles to interact with other ponies. There are references to her weight to help keep the details there, which help compliment the more important acknowledgement of her predicament.
And the steady procession of acknowledgement is great. It begins with her own acknowledgement, both in private and in public. Then she asks one of her friends for help. Then the rest of her friends know about it. And then the Wonderbolts find out. It steadily compounds until the encounter is unavoidable, and this is a great pacing technique (I think) to get us to the main event. I have no nitpick with how you got from the first scene to the catering scene.
And then there's the main event: the belly-rubbing. Plotwise, I think it would've streamlined better if, once again, Soarin' showed more signs of being interested in Rainbow Dash's figure; as it is, what you have is really good. I like the descriptions, I like the pacing of it, I like the steady atmosphere you build up, and I like the interaction between Rainbow Dash and Soarin'. They are both in a new and intimate position, so they try to take it slow (for the most part). Then the conversation switches to be more about Rainbow Dash than about her belly, thus initiating the true romance. In my personal opinion, I think it's handled alright, and I don't see a problem with the pacing.
Your language is really good.
It's evocative and well-paced. The switch from Rainbow Dash's to Soarin's point of view is questionable, but the descriptions you put in his point-of-view are excellently attuned to him. Overall, the scene with the belly rrubbing is excellent.
There's also the "epilogue" to address. The talk of how Soarin' will stick by her no matter what was a nice resolution to the relationship (in this story). I'm sure the spell at the end left people who read this with the pleasant thought that she can gain weight again (as for me, though, it didn't do anything). The ending is okay.
Lastly, technicals. Overall, it's very clean. The grammar's good, the spelling's good, the word choice is good, and I don't recall any errors. Overall, it's technically sound. There is one moment in the story where there might be a contradiction present. Please take a look at these two parts, both in chapter 2:
and this part:
So does Soarin' have a fetish for Rainbow Dash overweight? Is he a chubby chaser, but thinks other ponies are disgusting? I had a hard time interpreting this, and I still don't get it. It might be worth looking over again.
In conclusion, I think it's a good story. The set-up was good, the descriptions were great, the technicals were sound, and the overall romance was nice. There were just those moments of characterization that I thought broke the mood and didn't lead into the next part well; those are my only major criticisms. Other than that, I thought this was pretty good.
I wish you the best of luck with your next story!
3756862
Thanks for the feedback!
Let me just see if I can clear a few things up.
Out of curiosity, who are we referring to?
You know what? You're absolutely right.
What's especially silly about that is that I was actually intending to have Rainbow Dash nearly freak out because she just realized what came out of her mouth. We're talking about an athlete with only mild experience with mares, and a mare who has next to zip experience with guys -- they're going to bungle, stutter, and say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
In short, I could have fixed that mess with a simple paragraph:
It's one of those things you never notice until AFTER you've published it.
That's... an interesting thing to point out. See, I was writing it so that Soarin wasn't actually INTO Rainbow Dash to begin with until they began bonding. This leads to the belly rub, in which Soarin finally discovers he actually DOES have a chub kink... but only when it's done right.
Example. Have you ever looked up artwork depicting your favorite fetish only to be met with a surfeit of awful drawings? This is kind of like that. Soarin wasn't totally aware of his fetish until he saw how well Rainbow Dash worked that extra weight. We're all at least vaguely aware of our fetishes even from a young age, but it takes certain triggers to make us fully aware of them, and that's how it worked with Soarin.
Of course, this implies he's never met a "big beautiful mare" before, which you might have to take with a little salt.
Spitfire was being nonchalant about it because she was going to eventually take Rainbow Dash aside, away from all the others, and break the bad news that she might not be able to be let back on the team if she can't fly like she used to. Whereas Soarin was both blunt and blind to the situation, Spitfire was going to be as professional as she could. Of course, Soarin showed up and broke that.
The reason I cut the story into two parts is because of the shift in points of view. The first chapter is from RD's point of view (Which is why some of the details have been skimped on; RD wasn't privvy to whether or not Soarin was into her, nor was she sure of Spitfire's ultimate intentions. Remember, Rainbow Dash seems to not notice certain details, and tends to act on impulse and gut instinct). Then it changes to Soarin and his awakening fetish and its hunger to be slated.
Like I mentioned above, Soarin IS a chubby chaser, but only when the lady in question knows how to work it. There's a right and wrong way to do something or be someone, and Rainbow Dash was chubby in a very, very right way.
But at the same time, Soarin -- like Rainbow Dash says -- puts her interests above his. She can't be chubby because it slows down her flight speed, thereby hurting her chances at being a Wonderbolt. And no matter what, Soarin isn't so selfish that he'd take that dream away from her just so he can get off.
Well, I already wrote another chubby story: My Way, Your Way, Three Way. Careful though, this one's a straight-up clopfic. But I'd still like it if you had any feedback to give.
Thanks for taking the time to leave such a deep and informative comment!
3757705
Let's see... Definitely Pinkie Pie, who'd be gorged up on treats, and would probably still be able to get around town with incredible speed. I can see Fluttershy accepting a weight gain, since it would make her more motherly and snuggly. Definitely Cheerilee, since she could use it to attract stallions (as you've noted
) and let her students cuddle up to her. I can also definitely see Mrs. Cake plumping up quite a bit more.
There's also Trixie, who would probably flaunt her new girth and backside at her performances.
Who else, who else... There's also Flitter, who I kinda see as having a bubbly personality, somepony who wouldn't mind being the chubby sister. I tried fattening her through mountains of ice cream, but it ended up not working. *shrugs* I can also see Lyra being fed sweets by her Bon Bon, to the point where Bon Bon could do something like this:
That's who I can see readily accepting it.
And thank you for the clarifications.
3757850
Most of those I can agree on, except for Trixie and Mrs. Cake.
Trixie because she seems to suffer from a kind of narcissistic personality disorder, so she would try to be as visually appealing as she can -- and if the show's given us any indications, Celestia is the prime example of equine beauty in Equestria. Although now that you mention it, it would still be cute; just... a little out of character.
Mrs. Cake, because she's cute enough the way she is. With me, there's a certain point in which I have to put my foot down. (And before you say it, yes, Soarin's opinion on chub closely mirrors my own.) That said, there's probably a really good reason she got chubby.
static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131029203447/mlp/images/b/b4/Mr._Cake_id.png
The prime suspect.
You talk about the characters who might enjoy getting chubby, but no mention of Derpy? "It means I get to eat more muffins! Can I get a huzzah? Can I have three???"
The reasons why I like this story:
1. I'm a weirdo.
2. The scenes never felt TOO out of place. I mean, heck, for a fetish-ish fic, you did a pretty god job at keeping the characters, well, in character. So, good job.
3. The cover art? I dunno.
4. Did I mention that I'm a weirdo? Yes? Okay then. My job is done.
as a fan of soaridash fics fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/273/8/0/rainbow_dash_approved_by_ambris-d4bdn33.png
*violently puking in corner*
Sorry... Sorry, it's not your story that I'm vomiting about, but it's all fatfics in general. In fact, I'm so disgusted by those stories that I could write a story about it!
*wink* *wink*
However, this story can, and will be an exception. Why? Well, I'll tell ya.
When I walked into this story, all the clichés that happen in fatfics ran through my mind.
For example:
RD would get bigger thanks to Soarin, almost as big as a house.
Soarin hypnotizing RD that being fatter is better.
Force Feeding
Lastly, her friends doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the sudden unhealthy weight gain.
But, this story absolutely avoids those clichés and instead brings something that can please almost everyone, the heartless, freaks who find unhealthy eating and near the brink of death sexy can lost this one.
The characters were well represented, and instead of other fatfics where Dash finds being fat "Awesome" this one brought something new to the table and she felt she looked ugly for the majority of the story. Except for the ending... Kinda.
I guess you can only get little of something you love am I right?
In a whole, this story is great! Just not for me, I'll like it since it deserves it, but I personally "like" this story.
I don't love it, but I don't hate it. That's just my opinion, but for the other people in the audience, it's a great story and it deserves a read.
So, you deserve a thumbs up.
Strangely enough, I can somewhat relate to Soarin on fat fetishism. I only like fictional characters to be fat and not real ones. I know the dangers of being obese, so I don't want any of my family members being fat. Fictional characters are the exception because they can't die unless the artist or writer do.
5826848
Actually, the "health risks" of obesity aren't much more dangerous than the "health risks" of being thin. And that whole BMI thing is just BS. There's plenty of fat people who happen to be pretty healthy, all considered.
And come on, chubby people can be darned pretty. You gotta admit, they're like cuddly teddy bears!
5827448 That depends on the person. Because like I said, I prefer fictional characters to be fat. Also, It doesn't change the fact that people with obesity can die from a heart attack if not exercising.
3235916 no YOURE A USSLESS AND FORCED PLOT POINT IOOHHHHHHH
Eeeheeheehee, I AM a little weirdo!
*Flails*
Awwww!!!
100th like YAY!
it would be cool to get a third chapter about rd learning to control her weight magic
There should’ve been a third chapter to this so we could see the magic weight gain and something more to it.