Chapter 1
The first few weeks were a difficult period of adjustment. The strange new faces, the overabundance of intelligent creatures, and living in a world where everything seemed built at least a size too small, combined to make the experience so alien it was easy to be distracted.
He couldn't blame them for their suspicions, or their fears. But even they could recognize the mixture of pride and loss in his voice when showing them the photograph taken at his last family reunion.
At first, he was awed with the dazzling displays of magic they considered everyday tasks. He eagerly turned it into a cultural exchange, showing off the greatest achievement of mankind he had on his person: his smartphone.
Sadly, the display was short-lived, as he realized he had no cables to recharge it. Wanting to save it for something truly worthwhile, he shut it off and stowed it away safely.
He'd been unpacking when he vanished, and, aside from the photograph, he'd been carrying a few other things. A Bible heavy with footnotes and annotations. A physics reference book gifted by a relative who hadn't quite caught onto the whole Internet thing.
And a loaded handgun. He’d always kept it on top of the shelves, out of sight and in easy reach. He had never had to use it before, and had only fired five shots in his whole life, all at cans and bottles with some old college buddies.
He gladly donated the physics text to the royal library, uncertain whether anything would come of it, but knowing he lacked the initiative to spearhead any advancements himself. After explaining the Bible to Celestia, she suggested he share it with her during monthly visitations.
He wasn't sure where the gun ended up.
He was curious to hear the stories of his custodians. In time, they called one another "friends." He began to gain a newfound respect for the power of friendship. While he was seemingly unaffected by this world's magic, there was no denying what it was capable of. Still, some nights he'd stare at that old photo for time uncounted, reminded of old connections now lost.
Without much use for his skills as a computer programmer, he decided to pursue something that would benefit from fine dexterity. In the end, he settled on jeweler, with Rarity providing the tools and slowly but surely imparting a sense of style.
Celestia was always attentive during their monthly Bible study. She was inquisitive at all the right times, and true to her royal charm, was somehow never condescending or humbled. He always thanked her for her precious time, and enjoyed perusing the book to find passages for their next meetings.
The years wore on. One day, Apple Bloom was celebrating her passage into adulthood. It was quite the party -- Pinkie made certain of that. Even now he was impressed with her boundless energy.
As for himself, he'd settled into this life. Thanks to Rarity's guidance, he now had a shop of his own. He lived upstairs, though he rarely did more than sleep there. While unpacking, he'd found his old smartphone. Curious, he tried to turn it on, but the screen remained blank.
Word of his existence was well-known. While he liked to think the quality of his craftsmanship attracted customers, he knew some of the lure was simply how different he was.
He visited his one-time watchmen, long-time guardians frequently. Only rarely did he look at the old photo, perched on his bookshelf. When he did, it was all the more poignant. Now he believed that while he might find friends here, he could never truly belong.
One spring day a pretty young mare began frequenting his store. He never turned anypony away for browsing, and it soon seemed she was determined to test that policy.
She visited about once a week at first, saying little. Eventually she started asking questions, coming more frequently. Soon their chatter moved well beyond jewelry.
By the end of summer, she began testing the waters for something... deeper.
Deeply concerned, realizing that he would have said "yes" without hesitation were she human, he sought Celestia's advice during their next meeting.
She smiled quietly for some time. With a slow, majestic blink of her eyes, she said only, "I wish the greatest of happiness for you both."
Five months later, he and the mare were wed. She joined him in his store, tending to customers while he worked in back. She was the better salespony by far.
While they doubted they could have children, and even worried what the result might be, they had to admit some feeling of disappointment when their home remained empty years later.
During their monthly meetings, Celestia began asking how he and his wife were getting along. Usually, there was little to say, but at times there were frustrations to vent. At these times, Celestia always reminded him, "Life is too short and precious to fill it with bitterness."
Men in his family always aged well. It wasn't until the first of the Apple family's new generation began tending the orchard that he realized the years he'd spent here had truly become substantial.
He stared at the photograph for several hours that night, responding to his wife's calls to get some sleep with a mindless "In a minute, honey."
The colors had started to fade in the photo, as has his memories of the people in it. Remembering that light tended to do that to old paintings and such, he tucked the photograph at the bottom of a chest.
The years weathered on longer still, and despite his careful handling, more and more pages of his old Bible started to come loose. He started dedicating his spare time to transcribing it, word for word, footnotes and all. Until he started putting those words to thicker, common paper, with his large handwriting, he hadn't truly appreciated the immensity of the contents.
Business had seemed to die down without a human behind the counter. Or perhaps it was his failure to keep up with the newest fashions. He and his wife managed to live comfortably enough, but he began to wonder if supplementing their income might be wise. To that end, he began to seek other opportunities.
His wife began to lament how little time they spent together. After several arguments, he finally mentioned the situation to Celestia. Her response? "I've found it more enjoyable to live the life you have than to worry too much about the future."
She urged him to make time for the important things. Promised that, as a diplomatic envoy and honored guest of the kingdom, his family's needs would be taken care of if he chose to give up jeweling for a time.
When he denied being anything as grand as that, and objected to the special treatment, she offered a playful half-smile and threatened to forcefully close his business.
A week later, he started discussing adoption with his wife.
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Their daughter was a bright-eyed, energetic filly. An earth pony. She reminded him of Pinkie Pie in some ways, but even more draining.
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, she discovered her cutie mark. His wife caught him staring at the paragraph one evening, and broached the subject neither had had the courage to explore.
By his request, his wife accompanied him on his next visit to Celestia. There was no study that night. Only a grand dinner and an evening of warm conversation. Celestia admitted that she'd suspected time would pass... differently for him.
"But that's no cause to fret. You and your daughter will live very wonderful lives together. I'm certain of it."
Hearing those words gave him more courage at the time than their memory did later on.
One day, his little filly became a little mare. In time, she was courted, and in what a painfully short time he'd become a grandfather.
After his wife's passing, he searched for other ways to pass the time. He'd continued his Bible transcriptions over the years, though as more of a hobby after the first complete volume. He began to practice calligraphy as a means of injecting more flair into the otherwise monotonous work.
His meetings with Celestia continued even after his wife's passing. Celestia had stopped asking about his daughter sometime after her own marriage, and now prompted no conversation about his family at all. Sometimes, though, he couldn't help but bring them up. At these times, she was as pleasant and bright as ever.
By the time he'd become a grandfather, he'd grown tired of the jeweler's life. His reclusiveness had left his fashions horribly out of date. He turned instead to watchmaking, reusing much of the skill he'd already acquired. By the time his first great-grandchild earned his cutie mark, his shop was filled with the quiet, steady ticking of dozens of clocks and watches. The harmonic chiming of three grandfather clocks, while not always welcomed by neighbors, eventually became a staple of that corner of Ponyville.
Only after age claimed his daughter did he realize how out of touch he'd grown with his own family, living in Manehatten. The funeral was grim and awkward, and he was regarded strangely by his great-grandson and granddaughter.
Of course, when he commented about this to Celestia, she urged him to form those connections. For once, he disregarded her advice.
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The day came that Celestia sent him a missive congratulating him on the 300th anniversary of his arrival to Equestria. During the small dinner they shared, he made a request. Celestia regarded him somberly for a few moments, agreeing to do what he asked in a soft, quiet tone.
So it was that a balcony was created outside a stained glass window in the castle. Behind the glass, he worked day after day, selling his shop and moving into the castle. Eventually, the time came for the window to be removed, and he worked beneath a small pavilion, rarely seen.
Despite the closer quarters, his meetings with Celestia became no more frequent. He did, however, see more of Luna than he once had. She often came to keep him company while he worked, or to bring his meals when he missed them.
At first he tried to strike up conversation, but Luna wasn't a great conversationalist. Eventually, he just enjoyed the silence for what it was.
After nearly fifty years, it was unveiled. A grand, mechanical clock. He'd incorporated many designs, techniques, and ideas that had come to him in his many years as a watchmaker. Secrets and subtle variations that might not have been uncovered for generations. If ever.
It had given him something to look forward to.
After the completion of the project, for the first time Celestia approached him. Visiting him in the gear chamber, she delivered a list of names and addresses.
"What's this?" he asked.
"These are your descendants."
He narrowed his practiced eyes, studying her as he asked, "And what am I supposed to do with this?"
She smiled. That same soft, calm smile. "Whatever you wish." With that, she departed.
It was not long before he was burdened by the tedium of day-to-day life, as Celestia knew he would be. Before starting his journey, he gifted another of his Bibles to Luna, thanking her for watching over him during his great work. He promised Celestia they would resume their monthly meetings after he returned.
The list was longer than he would have expected. He made the journey on foot, passing from city to city, town to town. By the time he finished, he realized, the list may well have grown even longer. At first, he did nothing but observe. Taking note from a distance, seeing where his "kin," if they could so be called, found themselves in life. Most made no comment, no approach. Some, remembering stories of family history, approached him. These often invited him into their homes, where he'd try to recall stories to share.
Back in Ponyville, he found a little tomboy of a filly fending off bullies. He stepped in to help frighten away the obnoxious colts, using some made-up threat about pressure points and waggling his fingers menacingly.
The filly was a little frightened of him at first, but tried to hide it. He revealed the deception to her, and the two had a good laugh about it.
He asked about one of the names on the list, which turned out to be a schoolmate of hers. He thanked her for the directions.
After completing his journey, he wandered again through Ponyville. His old shop had seen several owners since he vacated. The structure had aged, and was in need of more love and attention than the rug-weaver in residence could offer.
When he spoke to the owner about buying the shop, he was surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. He spent many of the following nights in the upstairs bedroom wondering why he'd bothered, before giving up looking for an answer.
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The little filly he'd met years before had become a dashing little mare. He quickly learned that she habitually got herself into sticky situations. More than once he had to step in to help her.
As their friendship grew, he found himself smiling more and more, only then realizing that somewhere, in the past centuries, he'd stopped.
After a few years, he began noticing subtle cues. Comments about stallions and relationships, playful quips and remarks. They were rare, but these days a span of months seemed to carry less weight than they once did. At this age, one started to pay attention to different things in their day-to-day life.
He only smiled and feigned obliviousness. He was not surprised when the day came that she confessed her feelings for him.
With as much gentleness as he could manage, he rejected her. He treasured their friendship, but claimed not to see her in that light. He went so far as to lie and say that his first marriage had been hasty and ill-thought-out. There were differences between humans and ponies that couldn't be resolved.
The lies were bitter. His heart wrenched, he spent half the night brooding. He told himself saying "no" now would hurt less than saying "yes." He was never fully convinced.
He saw less and less of her after that. They remained friends, but a certain tension wore at them.
When he saw a stallion start to warm up to her, he made his decision. He announced that he would be closing shop again and returning to Canterlot.
It was a tearful parting, but she did not protest. They promised to continue writing.
Celestia was waiting in the entry hall when he returned, wearing the smile to which he'd grown accustomed. Slowly, they half-nodded, half-bowed at one another. Without speaking a single word, he made his way to his old room. It was exactly as he'd left it.
As they dined that night, Luna and Celestia prodded him for tales of his travels. He indulged them as much as he could, apologizing for not staying in touch.
Before parting for the night, Celestia suggested that Luna join them for their monthly Bible study.
He's almost forgotten about that. For the first time in years he turned to the Good Book. Slowly he paged through one of his manuscripts, fingers drifting over the pages as he marveled at the craftsmanship of the letters. Thinking with wonder at all the things he'd learned. Wondering where to go from here.
Drifting slowly from his reverie, he began to search for familiar passages which he felt would be a good introduction.
Celestia scheduled their session during a picnic lunch on a nearby grassy hillside. After delivering his message, Luna stared off into the distance and mused to herself.
"So this great hope... is to become part of a greater afterlife? To live forever in love, beside your brethren?"
After a moment's pause, he responded. "Yes, I suppose so."
Beside him, Celestia murmured, "They have such wonderful dreams, do they not?"
He turned to regard her, noting tears beginning to stream down her cheek as her gaze lay fixed on distant Canterlot.
She continued to wear that same soft, quiet smile.
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This is truly wonderful.
I cannot thank you enough for writing this, it really does make one think about their own life and future. No mean feat, for a HIE no less.
You should be incredibly proud of this achievement
Simply amazing!
I don't know what to say. It it a bittersweet situation to outlive your friends and loved ones. I cant help but wonder if he was actually immortal, or just incredibly long lifed. Still, bravo. A little slice of immortal life. I might have liked to see a Luna pairing, due to the whole immortal thing, but the characters didn't seem to mesh well. I really liked this story, bravo again.
Hey author:
People WILL dislike this unfairly, based on the fact that it lacks a description. Unfortunate but true.
Well-crafted, considering the incredible span of time that it covers. Somber, but not so sad that I wanted to turn away from it. Religious, but not overtly so. Though, I'm quite sure I didn't grasp the full meaning of the conversation at the end. I hope you write more.
This story was intriguing and definitely different from other 'human' stories.
However, I have to admit that I disliked the vagueness surrounding all of the characters and events. Although it conveys the idea of memories past and forgotten, it didn't hold much interest in the way of detail, coming off as too vague.
Certainly an interesting read though.
Very different, and very lovely.
Vagueness didn't bother me, but for the ending, where ambiguity reigns.
Might be intentional, might not.
Beautiful story nevertheless.
(Can't stop speaking in sentence fragments. Need help!)
Oh man
oh man oh man.
thanks for that.
I honestly used to think I had less emotional capacity than what I am currently displaying.
This is another in the long line of MLP fics to happily prove me wrong.
WHY? WHY? WHY?! Why did you have to make me cry?! I love reading sad stories but they make me cry! call me stupid or whatever but i just can't stop myself. Well written sir!
This was very touching.
It's...beautiful...A well-written story and very touching at the same time. Makes me wonder about the future..
Good work! Indeed
I've seen this reposted on the Internet a few (read: two) times, including 4chan/mlp/ where someone rewrote some parts a little and tacked on his own ending. I'm assuming this is the original, and it's nice to find it.
EDIT: I think this is the original.
Damn...
This one's a real treat, a short little gem of a story.
I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you for writing it.
I linked this to a few, I hope you don't mind. This deserves both more recognition and more attention.
Well, fine then. Write an HiE fic that proves me wrong about writing off the whole genre. Make my fucking day.
You magnificent bastard, you.
I enjoyed this, it is definitely one of the better HiE-stories I've read but it left me with a
.
What's the message?
Being immortal is tough? Gee, I don't know, I'm not immortal, I can not relate to that.
I'm not particularly religious either so I may have missed some quote or context concerning the Bible, but over all I'm not sure what to make of this.
... That was beautiful...
I...I can see why this is getting so much love. Its a very nice story, didn't get to me as much as i would of liked, no idea why considering i'm a sap for this stuff but this was a wonderfull work, whatever you do dont stop wrighting.
OMG
dat was beautiful....
This was really well written, and very... sad? happy? Heart-warming!
Even though its only around 2,000 words the way you wrote it made it feel very long.
I've read this before. But even reading it again, it is still a lovely story.
This... is a work of art. Even people who despise MLP would love this.
This is a lovely, lovely story!
At first I thought it was a sort of Book of Eli thing, where it was just in his possession as "central text in the Western-canon" kind of way, him preserving it like the old guy in The Day After Tomorrow.
The whole look at immortality was heartbreaking. Especially that end. That was the best of ways this story could have ended, for real.
I really genuinely wish I understood this better... Maybe because I'm not familiar with the bible? I don't think so, you could have definitely made the overall message of the story more clear. The ending was a little hard to follow. Besides that, great job. You earned a thumbs up, if not a favorite. With a little more editing this could be one of the best.
I guess I'll just mentally edit out all the parts mentioning the bible.
Pretty good story.
damn good job
A beautiful story, very well done. You should be proud of this.
I read this, and immediately loved it. Then, it started bugging me. Why was he so emotionally detached? Why did he grow more and more distant over time, instead of the opposite? Perhaps the author intended this to be a result of him feeling out-of-place as a human, or being separated from his family - but this isn't psychologically plausible, and in any case the story ought to tell us so if the author wanted us to think that. I'm afraid that, without an explanation, without a cause, the story is just emotional porn, hitting us hard in the feels but not giving a causal context, not leaving us with anything to think about.
Not sure why or how this one ended up in my to-reads, but I just ran into it and here we are.
Taken in the context of HiE on the whole, this does certainly offer something new, with the angle of time passing differently for our POV character. But I think you could have done more with that. This story began rather poignantly, but drags by the end, and I found it unfulfilling because of this. The biggest problem is that this story is written mostly as a list of what happened. It's not all tell, there were some effective parts, but by the end, I was bored with it. Also, I'm pretty sure that guy had sex with a mare, and I'm just... no.
Nevertheless, I have distinctly read worse. This just feels like a good idea that you ran out of steam while writing.
Before I pass comment, I must ask. Has the human become immortal? Or will he die eventually?
(Here via an old blog post of Aquillo's.)
This is an awfully big story packed into a small wordcount. It's got a lot of neat and touching little moments, flows well, and will definitely go on my shortlist of fics redeeming the HiE wasteland. Liked and faved.
I just have one problem, and unfortunately it's a big one: At first I read the ending wrong.
I glanced through a little too quickly, and this is what the last few paragraphs looked like once they'd passed through the brain filters:
And I was all: "SWEET MOTHER OF FAUST, THAT'S AMAZING! She's just given him the passive, oblique hoofslap that finally made him realize that the paradise of his old world's religion is Equestria modulo ponies, he's there now, he's immortal and can't go back, so he's dead and in the afterlife! And she's chiding him for not realizing it and for needlessly tormenting himself! Now he's crying because he's been pulling away, bit by bit, dreaming of someday returning to earth, when all along if he had simply let himself become part of Equestria he could have had hundreds of years of happy and fulfilling life, not perfect, but as good as it gets!
"And ... um ... wait.
"Did I read that right? Wait. OMG, WTF, barbecue. Celestia is crying?"
Now I just have no idea what's going on.
Is the "they" in Celestia's parting line referring to the humans in the book they were discussing, or the ponies in the city she's looking at? Is she sad because ponies don't have the same dreams that humans do? Is she sad because she herself doesn't have that dream and knows as an immortal that she has to live a life full of watching ponies die? And what the hell is the ending doing making a point about Celestia when the entire rest of the story is focused around the human? This needs to have some sort of moral, make some sort of point, about the guy and his actions. The fact that he's clearly been missing out on opportunities for connection throughout the story, and in fact increasingly withdrawing as time goes on, needs to build to something.
... Hang on. Was your intention to obliquely point at Celestia as the natural endpoint of the human's trajectory, as some sort of immortal living permanently apart from the mass of ponies living and dying? Because that's poignant and kinda logical with what you wrote, but also totally wrong. She's spent the whole story pushing at him to reconnect.
Seriously, please give me some sort of clue toward the ending. I simply cannot seem to squint at it from any angle that makes everything align. I really hope that this is a sign of me being stupid, as opposed to a good story's missed opportunity.
Well...
My personal interpretation of the ending was the simplest one, that these ponies, unlike humans, don't believe in an afterlife. Kinda depressing for me but there ya go. Of course, it might be interpreted differently if you try.
This is an oddly told story. I ended up upvoting it.
Was it a good story? I'm not really sure. But it was interesting to read.
The ending is nice, though I strongly suspect the actual reason for the tears is Celestia is crying because the man has entered paradise, after a fashion, and is immortal, as the Bible promises he would be, and amongst friends and good people, and yet, he cannot see it. He simply sees it as life, because that is the human thing to do. What is it that they say? Every man builds his own hell? That is the case here.
More or less, he got exactly what he might have wished for, and yet, still isn't satisfied with it.
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I suggest you read Titanium Dragon's longer comment on the story here. I didn't get that when I read the story, but it makes perfect sense.
I think I didn't get it because the character doesn't seem to care about the Bible--it comes up at the beginning and end, but it doesn't affect his actions in any way. The Bible is just a token for him. He doesn't even read it.
On one hand, him focusing on the craftsmanship of the letters is a great way of showing that he misses the point. On the other hand, it says he's forgotten about the Bible, which kills the irony.
Also, as a former Christian, I don't think of the Bible as being about the afterlife. If you don't count the book of Revelations, which is an acid trip and is generally ignored except by end-times nut cases and bestselling apocalyptic books, there's maybe ten sentences in the entire Bible about heaven, and they don't tell you anything about it. They don't even say that it's nice.
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That certainly would make more sense than any other interpretation I've heard. Thanks.
Arrived here from Bad Horse's blog post and pretty glad I did. Never seen a HiE fic done in this way before, and uniqueness is always a plus in my book.
Also it has a style that I just adore...a very detached feel that I can't quite describe but still love. Liked and favourited good sir.
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While I love Dragon's idea, I don't agree the story intends the message he pulled from it.
The idea of "heaven" is, as Luna puts it, the idea of living forever with your brethren. It's not just being surrounded by nice ponies, but by those you've loved and lost (such as the man's family, who he misses even hundreds of years later). Celestia's eyes are locked on Canterlot because, in her words, being able to see all the ponies you've ever loved or cared about is "such (a) beautiful dream".
She is crying because she cannot die. She has no hope whatsoever for something to look forward to.
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What happens in the story?
Well, he lives forever... but he chooses to isolate himself, in the end, to cut himself off from love and from other people. Indeed, he makes the decision to cut himself off right before the ending.
That's a clear case of deliberate ironic juxtaposition.
He has been granted his "great hope", and yet he still isn't happy, and in fact, is deliberately doing things to make himself unhappy.
Celestia is crying because he can't see it.
The entire story undermines your idea - it directly contradicts your interpretation of it, the idea that there is no hope. Because there is hope. The story is full of it, and indeed, points out that the man is going out of his way to avoid these things - chances are all around him, and he is deliberately avoiding them. The story goes out of its way to point this out.
The story would not have deliberately given him another chance at happiness that he self-sabotaged if the point was that there was no hope. If it was supposed to be trite immortality angst, it wouldn't have done that.
But instead:
He is a stranger to his own family because of his own deliberate behavior. The story goes out of its way to point this out.
He has opportunities for love, and his brethren are there to connect with - and yet, he chooses not to do it.
If the point was stupid immortality angst as you suggest, then why on Earth would it go out of its way to point out that there were endless opportunities for him to connect with people?
The tragedy is that the dream is to have these things, but when he was actually presented with the opportunity to have these things, he simply passed on them.
You can't be surrounded by love and live forever with your brethren if you go out of your way to avoid love and not connect with your brethren. And that's precisely what the story just pointed out he did, right before we get to the ending.
It is basically a criticism of the idea that paradise would actually make people happy - if they aren't willing to reach out for happiness now, why would they do so then? You can't force people to be happy and have them still be the same people.
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I don't agree. I think it's a nice idea, but the whole point of heaven is getting to see your loved ones again. There isn't anything particularly heavenly about the man's life in Equestria.
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So first, apologies to tag you all in years-old comments.
Trixie pointed this to me today, and I read it all before seeing any comments. I tend to agree with her interpretation; the protagonist's immortality is unexplained, but the reason Celestia is upset is that the human idea of paradise is something she longs for, because apart from Luna - and now, the human - she is always destined to be left behind.
In light of that, I think her urging for him to connect with ponies is sort of her getting a second-degree connection; she wants him to find the happiness that she doesn't know how to get, perhaps.
But other than that, yea - she's crying because the dream of Heaven to her is a beautiful one, and the Biblical concept of Paradise - where all the ponies she has known over her long, long life can be with her again - that, to her, is a wonderful dream.
It could be she is immortal and cannot die; or, I think it's in some ways more beautiful that to her, she desperately wants to believe in that dream, because it means that each time she has to say goodbye for the last time to somepony she has loved? It isn't the final goodbye. That there is a hope that someday, she will be with them all again.
I think I like that one a bit better; it leaves it on a bittersweet but optimistic ending. It also casts her urge for him to connect in a different light, that the relationships are valuable and it's only their brevity that she regrets, but that dream gives her something more to hope in.
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I still think my interpretation is correct. I dunno if you looked at it, as it was in Bad Horse's blog:
The man has gotten what the Bible promises (eternal life in paradise) and he doesn't recognize it as such, and thus is still miserable and lonely. Paradise isn't something that can be given to you, because no one else can make you do the things that make you happy.
7927861 I read that, I just don't agree with it
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The story isn't about Celestia; it is about the man. The story doesn't make sense as a Celestia is sad story, because it isn't about Celestia.
7927876 I'm not saying it's about Celestia. I'm arguing that Celestia's comment is that she's having a moment of immortality angst that the protagonist can now understand, because like her and Luna he is under the same blessing/curse now.
7928346 7927876 The author doesn't even know the story got popular in August 2012. He hasn't logged in since July 12 2012.
7929835 Yea, that's one of the sad things. And why I tagged all of you, because that was the one crowd that would have reason to comment/see this