Part 4 Dan Vs. Roommate: Epilogue/Part 4.5 Prologue
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 4 Dan Vs. Roommate
Epilogue/Part 4.5 Prologue
-ooooooo-
Lyrics removed in compliance with rules. Original version here.
-ooooooo-
The crescent moon hung like a wounded animal in the dark. Dim stars dotted the heavens, stars mostly smothered by black clouds that blotted the sky. Beneath lay a dark forest, a twisting mass of large, imposing trees with branches that snaked out in all directions. Below them was an unforgiving landscape of large rocks that jutted out like daggers from the ground, and moss covered remains of long dead trees being slowly consumed by the forest itself. The warped branches of these trees jutted up from the ground like twisted, broken limbs desperately trying to reach out of the ground towards the forest canopy.
Pinkie ran through the hazardous maw of the dark forest as if her life depended on it.
Mostly because it did.
The seven foot tall, chainsaw-wielding, hockey masked killer was hot on her heels.
Her high heels in this case.
Why the hay am I even wearing these?! I didn’t think I even owned a pair…
As if on cue, a heel broke and Pinkie went tumbling to the ground, banging her body on all manner of sharp rocks and painful looking branches that stabbed and cut her flesh until a large, shattered tree stump stopped her, Its remains shooting up into the sky like a collection of swords and spears.
Pinkie rubbed her sore, bruised, and cut body. Her vision blurred as something warm and viscous started to flow into her eyes.
Pinkie wiped at her face and examined her hand closely. Her now red hand shone sickly in the dingy moonlight.
I must have cut my head in the fall. I need to keep going! The killer…
Pinkie heard the sound of a chainsaw revving and looked up as the color drained from her face. The hockey-masked killer was quickly approaching, the forest seemingly giving way to him as he charged, as if his malevolent presence even frightened the very woodland that had brought Pinkie to her knees.
Pinkie tried to sit up, but felt something clutching at her dress.
She looked down at the skimpy cocktail dress she was wearing.
Oh, I don’t believe this! There’s barely a sash’s worth of material on this thing and it manages to get caught on a thorn bush.
Pinkie struggled to rip free as the remorseless thorn bush held fast, cutting dozens of tiny lacerations into her thigh.
Why am I even dressed like this?! Was it my goal to get hit on by as many creepy guys as possible tonight?!
Pinkie’s train of thought derailed in a fiery crash, killing all on board as the chainsaw noise exploded into a crescendo of buzzing fury.
She looked up to see the killer mere feet away from her, chainsaw held high above his head, glinting sharply in the moonlight.
A lump caught in Pinkie’s throat, but escaped into a blood curdling scream as the saw came down upon her body.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Pinkie sat up in the bed. “Ouch!” she exclaimed as she hit her head on the lamp suspended above the bed.
WHY DID DAN EVEN PUT THAT LAMP THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
Pinkie raised a hand to stop the swinging pendulum of pain manifest in lamp form, her pink pajamas soaked through, and her breathing labored as she took stock of her surroundings.
She was in the bedroom she shared with Dan in their apartment. Tiny beams of streetlight shone through the window blinds, covering her and the bed in tiny lines made of electric light.
“Dan, I…” Panic gripped Pinkie as she realized her roommate was not in the bed. She swallowed, feeling very much alone and terrified of the sudden vast emptiness that seemed to consume the tiny apartment.
“Dan?” Pinkie called out in a frightened tone. “Dan, where are you? I’m scared and…”
“CHEMICAL PLANT EXPLOSION!” Dan screamed, suddenly popping up from under the bed.
Pinkie made a loud, startled “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!” and fell off the bed with a loud ‘THUMP’.
“NOXIOUS FUMES ARE COMING THIS WAY! KILLING ALL WHO INHALE THEM!” Dan continued.
Pinkie was on her feet in a flash. “Right! Situation ‘C’. I’ll go get…”
“Also, those who inhale the fumes raise back to life with a hunger for the flesh of the living,” Dan added.
“Ooooooo! Situation ‘C’ plus ‘Z’…wait.” Pinkie paused as a small smile appeared on her face. “Romero or Snyder?”
Dan reached up to pat his taller roommate on the head. “Very good, young padawan. Romero,” he answered.
Pinkie smiled large enough to make an audible ‘squee’ sound. “I’ll get my bag, the gas-masks, my crowbar, and the rifle.” She sang out, bounding towards the closet.
“And I’ll grab Mr. Mumbles, the cross-bow, my hatchet, and the car,” Dan replied.
“Meet you outside?” Pinkie asked as she donned a pair of pink flats, her cutie mark painted on the tops in acrylic paint.
“Yep!” Dan replied as Mr. Mumbles bounded up to him with a “meow” and ran up his outstretched hand.
-ooo-
Pinkie excitedly opened the door to the apartment and shut it behind her, pink crowbar in hand, her pink bag slung diagonally across a shoulder, a black satchel slung diagonally across the other. A brown strap also crossed her chest parallel to the black strap, and the butt of a wood grain rifle protruded up over a shoulder. She giddily put her foot on the rail to the second story walkway and looked over. Dan had already positioned the car. Pinkie managed to awkwardly pull her weight onto the walkway railing and fell forward, spreading out her arms and legs as she impacted the roof of the red hatchback below.
‘THOWK!’
Dan glanced up at the roof of his car at the sound of someone flinging themselves onto it. A petite hand appeared from the passenger side window, pink finger nails and feminine fingers arranged in the sign of ‘A-ok’.
Pink flats entered the car through the window, followed by pink pajama-clad legs, a pink bag and a black bag, a women’s pink pajama-clad torso crisscrossed with straps of varying color,a woman’s bright smiling face, bright pink curly hair, the butt of a rifle, and finally, pink pajama-clad arms attached to slim hands and fingers.
“How’d I do?! How’d I do?!” Pinkie asked excitedly from the passenger seat.
Dan gave her a giant grin and wagged his finger back and forth. “Nu-uh-uh. Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Pinkie thought for a second and looked down. “Aw, nerts!” she exclaimed as she reached for her seatbelt and buckling it.
Dan clicked a stopwatch, then produced a sheet of paper on a clipboard marking a number of places with a pen. “Not bad. Not bad at all,” he commented. “I had to ding you for the seatbelt, but you reacted quickly, remembered all the right things, and got out of the apartment in record time despite having to grab extra gear. This is a personal best for you.”
“Yes!” Pinkie exclaimed to herself with a smile and a fist pump. She closed her eyes, leaned back into her seat, and quietly began to hum the Laughter Song to herself.
Dan started the car, and pushed a tape into the tape player embedded in the dash. Soon the sound of a rhythm bass and electric piano filled the car.
“Hungry?” Dan asked. “I’m thinking…Lenny’s.” Dan shifted the rearview mirror so Pinkie could see into the backseat.
The sound of music was quickly joined by Pinkie’s laughter. “You got it out of storage, I see.”
“♫”
The backseat sat occupied by a change of clothes for Pinkie, Mr. Mumbles, and the pancake thrower the two had constructed sometime prior.
“♫”
“What can I say? I’m a man who likes pancakes,” Dan said, grinning mischievously.
“♫”
“Mostly when they’re flying through the air at dangerous speeds, though,” Dan admitted.
“♫”
Pinkie smiled, “Sounds like a funderful evening…morning.”
“♫”
Dan pulled out into the street.
“♫”
“♫”
“Hey, things seemed…intense when you woke up. Did you want to talk about it?” Dan asked.
“♫”
Pinkie thought about this with an audible “Hmmmmm…”
“♫”
“Noper,” she answered with a smile.
“♫”
Dan smiled and shrugged. “Okay. Just remember that I’m always here if you need to talk.”
“♫”
“♫”
Pinkie reached over to the steering wheel and gave Dan’s hand a squeeze. “I know, Dan,” she said warmly.
“♫”
The red hatchback drove off into the streetlight lit street, carrying an oddly content misanthrope, a pink pony turned human who felt her fears melt away, a cat who understood English, and enough weapons and gear to survive a chemically created zombie hoard.
“♫”
-ooooooo-
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Spike asked for about the half dozenth time. “You remember what happened the last time you used time magic,” he added.
Twilight’s horn glowed, casting a purple light all over the vast stone room and the books spread out all over it, her own the only source of illumination. “It’ll be fine!” Twilight assured. “We’re just going to observe the past through a viewport. Given how things went that last time I traveled to the past, I doubt actually going back would be a good idea…”
“Alright…” Spike said tentatively. “If you’re sure…”
“As sure as I’ll ever be…” Twilight admitted softly to herself.
A purple beam shot out from her horn and stopped in a spiral of purple light a few yards in front of her; eventually it faded revealing a large plate sized window. The room darkened as the dim light from the portal became the only light in the room.
Twilight and Spike looked into the portal, observing the six ponies from the past.
Spike drew close to Twilight. “Can they hear us?” he whispered.
“No,” Twilight responded in a whisper. “The portal only transfers images and maybe magic…”
“Oh…then why are you whispering?”
Twilight shushed the baby dragon. “I’m trying to concentrate! I need to use my magic to sense what happened without creating any light…it’s harder than it looks.”
“Sorry…” Spike whispered.
The two paused as the Twilight on the other side of the portal opened the door.
“Hey it’s me! Looking good, Spike!” Spike exclaimed.
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh…”
The two watched as a blue glow began to emanate through the recently opened door.
Suddenly, the room was filled with red light from behind Spike and Twilight. A red bolt shot out of the darkness of the room, shot through the portal, intercepting a blue blast that was headed straight for Pinkie. The combined red and blue bolt hit Pinkie, and she was gone.
Twilight quickly closed the portal.
“What happened?!” Spike fearfully exclaimed.
“I don’t…” Twilight used her magic, attempting to sense the residual energies of the bolt just fired through the very room. A small feeling of disorder and chaos entered through her horn, and traveled down like a tremor.
“I know who’s responsible,” Twilight said, her eyes narrowing as determination entered her expression.
“You do? Who is it?”
Twilight raised a forehoof into the air and shouted at the heavens.
“DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!!”
Twilight Sparkle Vs.
Discord
End part--
“No need to shout I’m just down the hall!”
…
End Part 4…
Sorta.
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Brilliant end to part 4
You passed up a perfect Portal reference opprituniy.
When life gives you lemons, make cumbustables to set life's house on fire.
3347526
You got me, I'll edit the author's notes at once.
Thanks!
Edit: It is done.
3347535
The last thing I expected was actuall acknowledgement.
Awesome.
3347553
Honestly, it was too perfect to pass up when you mentioned it. Given that it fits Dan to a T and that there's an actual portal in this chapter.
Couldn't you just link to the songs on YouTube?
3801644
Possibly, there's kinda a timing ting going on ( I actually attempt to pace the lyrics with what's going on). So I'd probably still be more likely to post a link on the Gdoc then here.
The lyrics definitely enhanced the story, and I had my suspicions Discord was the cause ever since the money and password things happened. I figured it'd be obvious to Pinkie too.
Dan VS Plothole? ...after all that meat Pinkie ate, it's inevitable...
Lite edition of corrections this time. Regular edition to return next chapter.
in the dark
This should all be one sentence.
out of the ground
chainsaw-wielding
hockey-masked
her, its
chainsaw
hockey-masked
approaching, the forest
crash, killing
chainsaw
away from her, chainsaw held high
she
This should all be one sentence.
She was in the bedroom she shared with Dan in their apartment.
shone
swallowed, feeling
Delete this comma.
flash.
living,
head.
Romero,” he answered.
rifle,” she sang
car,
- Every single semicolon here should be a comma.
- Every comma after the word 'pink' needs to be deleted.
- Every instance of 'pajama clad' should be hyphenated.
forth.
she
stopwatch, then
pen.
all,
he
WHY DID DAN EVEN PUT THAT LAMP THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
The very first dan vs there was
And
4390029 nobody likes a grammar nazi
4390029
Got these! Thank you!
4442969 I like grammar Nazi's. Personally, I'm a Grammar theorist myself, but, ya know; preferances.
“DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!!” Hi! My name is Overused Joke!
Chapter 28: Dat plot...
So, uhm... like I said above... *cough*
*mumbles* I knew I threw the punchline out too soon.
chemically created zombie hoard
its horde.
This story is good and all, but you're forgetting something that happens to women only... once a month... that involves blood...
When is Pinkie going to get her period, basically?
Dat ending tho, is perfection :D
heeheh.
Nicely done
5521373 Hush child... Opens and closes your mouth repeatedly
(:
Puts a sprinkled donut in your mouth
When life gives you lemon juice, fill your water soaker and squirt the noisy young shits in the eyes next door. Maybe then they'll shut the hell up while on school holidays.