Manehatten is a city of paradox, at least that is how Fluttershy finds it. Constantly surrounded by it's millions of residents, the ex-model still feel more alone and isolated than ever... because any one of the crowd could be him. The faceless stalker, known only by the pseudonym "Sombra," hounds her every step. She has one chance, one hope... Rainbow Dash, Private Detective.
Cover by the awesome vero-chan
Page generated in 0.12 seconds
Total duration
778 users online
1,282,461 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well for a first collab, that's pretty good.
How did you organized yourself for this fic ?
I usually don't go for noir stories but this looks really good. Plus it's flutterdash and I can never say no to flutterdash
Y'know, this is probably the first serious noir story I found on this site. Most of them involve Pinkie being silly and playing with tropes of such a story. Here it is being played straight, and...
Well...
DARN MY LOVE OF A GOOD NOIR STORY!!!
This looks to be really good, with just a mix of the supernatural to make it even more intriguing. I love seeing what the girls are in this world (though my money is on: Rarity-lounge singer, Twi-librarian or that dective cheif that usually helps the PI in the story, Scoots-the lovable kid character) and the mood is just perfect. Now, if I could only stop hearing Dash talking like Humphery Bogart, I would be in heaven.
Very very good so far. more than worth the upvote and follow.
Reading this with ponyify turned on, It took me a while to realize the story was a human story and not ponies
Its an intriuging start and if there were already more chapters, I would move onto them right away. I can't wait to see what happens next
I am uncertain how to describe my feelings for this chapter, or indeed, this story in general. I am torn between "Nice" and "Awesome". Although I suppose "Well written", "Romantic", "very in character" and "Why doesn't this author have a book deal already?" would be prudent, too.
So yeah, kudos. More of this, please :P
You know, now that I think about it, this is probably the first time I've seen this. No, not the noir story as I said last chapter I have seen that story in pony before (mostly in parody), but what I mean is the fact that Dash is a female. I cannot think of any noir story that has been released out there that features a female detective as the lead gumshoe. Sure, I have seen ones where the girl Friday is the real hero (I've played a dective in one) but one where the girl is the gumshoe. If this wasn't a fic, I think this angle would be honored for the genre defying characteristic as it is. Also, what helps this is that its Dash's character, you wrote her as Dash first and not a female second. This allows for a reader to not see it, but again this is a good way to defy the usual trope of it being the guy gumshoe doing his job. I really like it and I think thats another thing dragging me in.
Another thing that I am enjoying is the mystery to Sombra, he's being mystical and supernatural without being overtly so. Its striking a good balance so that way, however you are going to take it, I won't feel too gyped either way. If he's really supernatural, I would be pleased, if its a bunch of smoke and mirrors I would not mind
DARN IT YOU TWO! Justr give in, you two know you want to!!! GAHHHHH! Man I love this story.
Awesome story I am really enjoying it, can't wait for more. Love the plot it just reels you in, in short I am hooked.
can't wait for more!!!
Suspence. Drama. Real fear. And fantastic story telling and character development all lead me to believe this is going to be a fantastic story. Don't dissappoint. Chapter 2 will have to wait another day. DAMN YOU MARINE CORP PT!
Btw can't wait to see what yo did with twilight
Practically begging for that ass
MOAR!!!!
More, more more! Gah, I wanna send my assassins after Sombra just to get rid of him and let them do as they want XD
So...much...TENSION between them. Any one move and they will explode(almost literally). Continue good sir
this is definitely one of my favorite fan fics.
Dang. Your getting after it with these chapters
Do I even need to say that something bad is going to happen?. I can get why Rainbow needs to spent the night at her's, but still I think most of us are going "Noooooo, don't leave her alone!"
. We seen enough detective shows to guess that the mystery baddie attacks when everyone thinks he's caught and everything's all better.
Still enjoying this though
"I, however, cannot prove it and the police have stated that they have no evidence"
Erhm....Did I miss something? Is infidelity a crime in this world? Because if so, this setting just got a lot more dark oO
3608552 That wasn't the intention, just to find evidence.
But I suppose you could read it that she may have been embezzling/stealing money from him and that would be why the cops were involved.
Why am I not believing the entire suspect thing and am thinking that there is more than meets the eye here? Maybe I am being just suspicious, or maybe my 'alert' sounds are incoming.
3610883
It would certainly be very anti-climatic if the suspect 1) Turned out to be Sombra and 2) Didn't find some way to get out of this.
3611694 I've got my money on her techie friend. Sombra's been doing this for several years, with many other women. You're telling me he'd be sloppy enough to let a few electronic gismos point back to him? If so, he likely would have been caught after the first one. Considering there would have been an investigation, and they would have torn her home apart and likely found more. What I don't understand is why Rainbow wouldn't go to the police station to make sure they've got the correct person. After all, she gave her friend one of the cameras, and if the police found out he had one, he becomes the #1 suspect.
HA! I knew there was more to this case than meets the eye. Now if we could just get to bang-I mean Rainbow tak- I mean...Ok, I love the buildup to the kiss
Best.Humanized.EVER!!!!
Dat kiss... Dis chapter, I'm just like helpforum.sky.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/6451i632FD057077A64C1/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1
More!!!!
Sombra is The Stalker
Everything seems to be in check, you don't need another peep to tell you how great this noir is.
I don't see the point of Pinkie acting the same as her canon self, or jumping into romance the first chapter rather than builing up romantic tension. The mood and Rainbow's code certainly overshadow my complaints.
If
is a pinkette, then what is
?
3256094 i feel the same way...
Give in, to the dark side *vader breathes*
why does this seem so familliar... AG
~Wywint
(and i love the usage of the ~!)
thier emotions and urges are time bombs.
which one goes off first?
ohsnapshitsgonnahappen
but i hope sombra was caught
~Wywint
3612083 you make a valid point... quite valid, in fact.....
~Wywint
update! update!
the sombra news... thats earth-shattering...
and im reading this in the middle of the night too...
meep.
~Wywint
YOU NEED TO UPDATE NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY WOW!
)
IT'S NOT DEAD!
This made my day, well done! Welll done indeed!
~Wywint
(
It's on. >: )
It's going down now!
(ohmanohmanohman!!!)
~Wywint
bring it on!
tgjackson93.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/heres-johnny.jpg?w=392&h=300
~Wywint
Solution: Point a gun at her face.
~Wywint
more plz
oh and btw this is what i think is gonna happen: so twi calls pinkie for support after she gets shy's voicemail and pinkie blabbers to aj and rares so they all go and support fluttershy and kick some sombra ass
Yay!
Please tell me you two are turning this into a series because it so deserves it.
Goddamn, this was a great read. A really great read. The ending had me on the edge of my seat, truly. This is a great story you have here, and I do hope you continue it. You've earned a like and a favorite.
I found this an enjoyable read. Even though I take issue with any of the Mane Six hooking up romantically, I was so immersed in the story to be truly bothered by it. I hope you continue this down the line.
finally
Ooh, this might fit with my group.
I'mma read this shit.
Wow, I never thought I would read a story like this, but wow. It's amazing.
This is actually the first time I've read a story with lesbian couples, and I was hooked throughout. It was captivating, realistic, cute and more words. I couldn't put my iPad down actually. The descriptions were detailed and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
I think Ronald Reagan said it best after reading "The Hunt for Red October": this was "unputdownable."