Derpy Heart

by Tired_eyes

Chapter 3 - Date Night

The next few days until our date seemed to take ages. The highlight of every day was seeing Derpy bring my mail. I knew that when she was working she didn't have time for more than a how d'you do, but I made sure I had something to do out by my mailbox every morning when she came by, because her smile put a spring in my step for the rest of the day.

When Saturday rolled around, I was in for a disappointment. Instead of my grey angel, the old post stallion who worked with her shambled up to my mailbox and stuffed a few letters in.

I asked him, “Begging your pardon sir, but where's Derpy?”

“Huh? Wuzzat?” he asked and squinted at me through thick glasses. After I repeated myself he told me, “Cloudsdale, special delivery. Post Haste and I can't fly, so she's got to do it. Don't you worry, she'll be back before this evening.” He grinned and nudged the air a good foot away from me with his elbow, looked confused for a moment, then shrugged and walked away to the next house.

- - -

I couldn't rightly tell you why, but not seeing her in the morning made me even more antsy about our date that evening. I know some folks say it's only mares that do this, but I must have spent at least an hour trying to figure out what to wear.

After more hemming and hawing than I'd care to tell, I decided that actual clothes would be too formal, but just wearing nothing would be too casual, so I settled on wearing just my best Stetson hat and a bolo tie.

As I made my way to her house next to the post office, I felt a bit out of place, because I noticed that nopony in Ponyville seemed to dress anything like how I was dressed, but it was too late to go back.

When I tapped my hoof on her front door it swung open right away, almost like she'd been waiting at the door for me. I knew right away I must not look too much the fool because she beamed at me like I was Prince Charming. And let me tell you, she was a vision. She'd opted for simple just like me, and only dolled herself up a little, but "simple" doesn't mean "plain". Her mane and tail were braided and tied with red ribbons, and she had a little pearl hair clip on the side of her head, that looked a little bit like her cutie mark. Other than that she looked like she did every day, but I don't mind saying that right then she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.

I didn't realize that I'd been staring like an idiot until she gave me a little shove with her hoof and said "It's nice to see you too, Dovetail" with a giggle. While I stammered for a response, she walked back into her house, hugged her daughter Dinky, and told her "You be good for Carrot Top. I'll be back after you're in bed."

Dinky said that she would, and she and Carrot Top, who was apparently foalsitting, both waved and told us to have a good time.

- - -

We had a wonderful night, but I can't say it sounds like much to talk about. Talking about courting is kind of like dancing about carpentry. You can do it, but it won't really give anyone an idea what it's like.

We had muffins and coffee at the Cattail Cafe, followed by a long walk around the big lake on the west side of town. Mostly we talked. Talked and laughed. It seemed like she could find some reason to smile about anything.

While we walked I realized I had gotten to talking about myself a bit more than is seemly, like a fellow sometimes does when he wants to impress a lady. And frankly, carpentry probably isn't too interesting to most folk.

“So, “ I said, “that is by far and away too much about what I do. What about you? How's the post pony game?”

“It's a job,” she said with a little shrug and a toss of her head, “I don't get excited about it like you do about your wood stuff, but it's a nice enough job. I get to spend a lot of the day outside. I usually even get to fly! I get to see lots of people, and mostly go at my own pace. So it's nice... but it's not really what drives my life, you know?”

“Then what gets you out of bed in the morning, Derpy?”

“My alarm clock!”

Her answer confused me for a moment before I understood. I was about to clarify when she gave me a shove and laughed. “I know what you meant, silly!”

I opened my mouth to apologize but she just went right on talking.

“The most important thing to me is my friends and family. Dinky is the best little pony I could ask for, and it's just amazing watching her grow up a little each day, you know? Well, maybe you don't, but you might some day.” Suddenly she looked a bit embarrassed as we both realized she'd implied something she hadn't meant to imply. Her cheeks reddened a bit, but she went on quickly, “Anyway, besides taking care of my filly, the best thing in the world is being with people I like and making them smile. Pinkie Pie... you know Pinkie, right? Anyway, she really gets that. I think I understand her more than most ponies in town... even though she maybe might want to consider toning it down, just a little bit. You know?”

I could see where her daughter got her gift for talking from, and no mistake. I didn't mind, though. I like it when people have a lot to say. It means I don't have to do all of the talking myself, and makes it a fair sight easier getting to know a pony.

“Yeah, I've met her,” I said. “She's a nice pony, but a bit much on occasion. A fellow could get a bit worn out, being around her too much. Not like you.”

“Oh you,” she said, with another of her little shoves. She seemed to like the compliment, though, because her grin got bigger and she looked away. Well, I'm pretty sure she did.

When the pause got just long enough to feel awkward, I asked her, “I don't want to step on any hooves, so I guess I should ask... am I likely to run into Dinky's dad? I don't want to ruffle any feathers.” When I saw her face fall a bit, I realized that might not have been the best thing to bring up.

“He's... you're not going to run into him. I haven't seen him since a bit before Dinky was born. He... wasn't the type to stick around.” Her head dropped a bit and she looked at the ground.

I felt like a right turkey for bringing it up. I put my hoof on her shoulder and told her, “Then it sure is lucky for Dinky that she has one parent who is loving enough for two.” It was the right thing to say, but I also meant it. I'd seen how happy Dinky always looked, and how she was the apple of her momma's eye.

She smiled and nuzzled my cheek. “That's sweet of you to say. I really do try. She's taken quite a shine to you, you know. I think she was almost as excited about us going on this date than I was. Not that I wasn't excited, because I was, but you know how kids can get. She said something about how I 'deserve' to go out on dates, even though she's way too young to really understand,” She paused, momentarily getting a worried look and added, “or maybe she isn't. Wow, we're probably overdue for a talk one of these days.”

“Oh, that's nothing! My cousin Mahogany Ridge got herself a little boyfriend before she got her cutie mark! Let me tell you, when she took a colt two years older than her to meet her parents...”

- - -

The whole evening was pretty uneventful, excepting of course when a gust of wind blew my hat into the lake. Derpy may be clumsy when she's not paying attention, but she flew out and plucked my hat out of the water as delicately as a butterfly drinking from a flower and didn't get a drop of water on her. When I called her a show off, just as a tease, she dropped the wet hat right onto my head, and we both had a good laugh.

After a while it seemed like we'd said all we had to say, and we just sat and watched the sun go down with her wing around me like the softest blanket in the world and her head on my shoulder. I couldn't have been happier if Princess Celestia herself had made a sunrise just for me.

I hate to sound like a cornball, but the whole evening was just plain magical. I don't think I even made a damned fool of myself once! I just completely forgot to feel awkward and lost myself in getting to know her.

Of course, while I walked her home I started thinking too hard again. It was almost like waking up from a dream, realizing that this funny, kind, beautiful mare had just given her whole evening to me. We walked so close our flanks and shoulders were touching most of the time, and now and then she gave my cheek a little nuzzle.

As we got close to her house I got up the nerve to talk again. Sort of.

"So, uh... I really had a nice time tonight," I said, flicking my ears uncomfortably.

"Me too!" she said and bumped her side against mine, as cheery as ever even while she stifled a yawn.

By this time we'd gotten to her front door. I flicked my tail and shuffled my hooves, but still looked her in the eye and said, "So Derpy, do you think that maybe sometime, I mean, if you want, we could..."

Before I could finish she flapped her wings happily and declared "Yes! How about next saturday?"

I nodded. "I can't wait."

She yawned and scratched her side with a hoof. "I'm tired and I bet Carrot wants to go home. I had a great time, Dovetail!" and before I knew what was happening she put a hoof behind my head and planted a big old kiss right on my lips.

You might say I was gobsmacked in more ways than one, and I just stood there with a stupid grin on my face as she said good night and went inside. Once I cleared my head and started off for my house I swear I knew what it was like to be a pegasus, because it felt like I was walking on clouds.

- - -

Sunday was a fair sight less magical than Saturday night.

I was all caught up on orders at my carpentry shop, so a little before noon I decided to head over to the Apple family's house to see if there was anything they needed help with. I never did like sitting idle for too long.

I was pretty deep in the orchard on my way to the house when I heard a snicker from behind me, and a voice said "Hey look, it's Lovey Dovey, the one who's dating the town retard."

I turned around and saw two scruffy looking earth ponies. I didn't know their names, but I knew they were out of towners that Applejack had hired to help tear up and replant the old south field.

Truth be told I didn't even know what to say to something like that, so I just looked at them, trying to size them up.

The one who had spoken before tossed his head and piped up again, "What's it like, making kissy faces with a retard, huh?" The other one just guffawed and said "Yeah!".

I folded my ears back and flared my nostrils, but managed to keep my cool. There were two of them and only one of me, and anyways fighting never solves anything for long.

"She ain't," I said, holding my head high. "Maybe she ain't as smart as Miss Cheerilee or Miss Twilight, but she's as smart as me or anyone else."

The one that was doing all of the talking laughed and nudged the other in the side with a hoof. "Says the pony dating the retard. You just have to look at her face to see she's not right." His friend just laughed and said "Yeah!" again, like the damned fool he was.

I took a step towards them, but held myself in check. I looked the loudmouth in the eyes and told him, "Even if she were addled in the head, which she ain't, there'd be no call for language like that. Everypony deserves some respect."

He just grinned unkindly and told his friend, "I guess she's not so bad if you only see her from behind, if you know what I mean. Hell, I bet she wouldn't even see me coming."

That was the very last straw. I didn't care anymore than there were two of them. I yelled, "Why you motherless, slimy little..." and reared up, kicking my front hooves. Both of them went wide-eyed and they shrank back.

I didn't think I was that intimidating... and I found out just what they were actually afraid of when a shadow fell over me and I felt strong jaws close on the scruff of my neck and hold me. Big Macintosh declared a no-nonsense "Nope" around a mouth full of my mane.

We had been so busy trading words that none of us had seen my cousins Applejack and Big Mac coming up on us.

AJ stepped towards the two hired farmhooves, and damned if they didn't look more scared of her than they had of her brother. With the look in her eyes, I can't say I blamed them. She stared them down with rage in her eyes but icy cold calm in her voice. "I reckon you two should go with Big Macintosh back to the house. You can get your things and collect your wages, then you can leave town." Mister big mouth started to protest, but he didn't get a whole word out before she cut him off. "I ain't gonna ask you twice. Understand?" She looked about ready to kick the both of them into next week, and they knew it.

By this time the big red stallion had let me go, and the troublemaker appealed to him. "Are you going to let a mare tell you what to do?"

Big Mac fixed them with a stare and nodded. He took a step forward and loomed over both of them and said in a quiet but very serious voice, "Eeyup. Less'n you'd rather I do what I've got a mind to do."

By his standards that was practically a speech, and it seemed to make his point. The rough pair meekly walked towards the house ahead of Big Mac, not saying a word.

Applejack glared after them, then sighed and put a hoof on my shoulder. "I'm sorry sugarcube. I knew they weren't the most polished ponies in the world, but I didn't figure they'd be that mean spirited. When Apple Bloom ran to the house and told me what they were saying, and that they were picking a fight with you, I knew we didn't need their kind around here. We can finish replanting without them."

I sat down heavily on the ground, trying to clear the anger from my head. "I can help. I've got time, and I'm not afraid to get my hooves dirty."

"Thanks 'Cuz. I reckon I'll take you up on that."

She didn't say anything more, but she did sit with me. It was good to have some company while my head cleared.

A distant part of the west road out of town was visible from where we sat, and after a while two specks appeared on it, that could only be the two recently fired ponies. It was a ways away, but it looked like they were running from a rainbow colored streak that kept dive-bombing them. I nudged my cousin and said "It looks like that Rainbow Streak friend of yours got wind of what happened, and doesn't think much of them."

"Dash, " she corrected me as she squinted into the distance to see. "Rainbow Dash. Oh horsefeathers, I think you're right." She sighed and rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Now I've gotta go track down Fluttershy, and talk enough nerve into her so she can fly out there and ask Dash to stop. I don't want her to get in any trouble... again. You gonna be all right?"

"I'm fine. Thanks AJ." I waved her off, hoping they wouldn't stop Rainbow Dash too soon.

Comments

[MclarenMP4-27]

Finally! God I've been waiting for this chapter forever! Haha.

[Tired_eyes]

339919

Sorry. I'm trying not to take so long that people lose interest. I got stuck on one small aspect of this FOREVER.

[Tired_eyes]

291971

(I missed this comment notification for some reason)

Wow, thank you. That's one heck of a pile of compliments. You seem to have noticed and approved of a lot of the things that I've worked really hard to achieve. Especially Dovetail's perspective. It's hard writing a first person character who is very little like yourself, but it's also freeing, and full of possibilities.

Thanks for reading!

[MclarenMP4-27]

339951
I don't mind waiting a while to have quality reading material, and it looks like you've delivered just that. Kudos.

[Tired_eyes]

330028

Well, there are now 2800 or so words more to read!

[Tired_eyes]

339967

Yay!

Expect the next update to be a 40k word novel some time in 2016.

[J0HNS0N]

yay! im glad you didnt forget about us :) really good update man!

[Tired_eyes]

341130

I could never forget about my hordes of... well, my several adoring... well somewhat interested fans.

[J0HNS0N]

nuff said mate

[thewaffler]

Rainbow Whatever was awesome at the end. I said it last time I still think the joke is funny b/c she has tons of fans and it's a little humbling to see someone go, meh. It's a good thing they can call Fluttershy to keep Dash from killing those two poor sods, because we all saw in that last episode that Shy can beat the crap out of Dash in 10 seconds flat. As for the rest of the story it was very d'awww and it's great to see someone actually respect ditzy a lot. I can't wait for the next chapter this fic is light and fluffy and feel good.

peace Out.

[Tired_eyes]

344183

I've gotten a few good comments on my treatment of Rainbow Dash. You put your finger (hoof?) on the reason quite well. I'm glad it's working.

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad it's giving some people some enjoyment.

Also, I hope I don't ruffle any feathers, but I'm sticking with "Derpy". However, I'm happy to love and tolerate those in the "Ditzy" camp. :)

[Purpleperson125]

really cute! :) i like this fic a whole lot!

[Tired_eyes]

347651

Thanks!

[Sachiel]

Nice chapter, good to see the two jerks get the dressing down they deserved, Big Macs response was if anything scarier then Applejacks