This story is about a young man named Eric Reitzell who is try to find his place in the world and what he is suppose to do with his life. One day he wakes up in a field with no recollection of how he got their. He soon meet a group of pones who all decide to become his friends rather quickly. Soon enough there end up being more and more questions to who he really meaning that the past of himself could all have been a lie. After a while of deciding he sets off on a journey to find out more about himself leaving his new friends behind at least that what he thinks. Yet again by some mysterious force he continues to go from one world to the next find more and more answers to each of his questions.
This story was just something that sort of just popped in my head so I thought I'd give it a try since I've never really typed anything like this before and posted it for others to see. Anyway just to let you know a little bit about those other worlds or rather dimensions if you would prefer to call them that. They won't probably appear right away but they will be made up of different Anime, Cartoons, maybe some real life shows for example like Full House or Touched by an Angle you know show with real people. There will also be probable some movie although I not really sure what kind, for me though I like Action, Syfy, and Horror. Lastly I will include dimensions similar to real life stuff and places. So just leave me a comment if you have any ideas on places you would like to see them go and if I haven't seen or heard of it I'll do my best to look it up. Anyway sorry for leaving such a Long description I just wanted to be thorough with explaining whats to come and stuff like.
Neither do I, man. Neither do I.
Do I start with the mess that is your "style"? It's confusing and it feels like you just vomited sentences in a way that has no flow. Flow is important to writing - you must have a flow that makes sense. There is no sensical flow to the way you write. It's pure stream-of-consciousness, and believe me, you gotta be a great writer to pull off decent stream-of-consciousness.
Do I continue with the fact that you treat us, the sad people who frequent a site about cartoon pony fanfiction, like we don't know who Applejack is or what MLP is?
Or do I point out that human in Equestria is a bloated field where originality goes to die?
Or is it the fact that you apparently find it prudent to point out that he listens to five songs but never detail what songs or what genre. What type of music people listen to can in good cases can tell you about the person's personality. I, for instance, listen to soundtracks, hard rock, and desert rock for the most part.
Do I mention that your grammar is a mess? A simple check through MS Word will fix that, as well as taking the time to get a proofreader. Seriously, there's a ton of errors. I can't point them all out, we'd be here all night!
Also the title could be better. "A multitude of crossovers"? Yawn. Make it snazzy, attention-grabbing. Somethin' like "Fate of (however many) Worlds"! "Dangerous Journey"! Anything but what you have right now.
On the bright side, that was a pretty good point for a chapter close. It's always good to end on something like that, IMO, because if you do your job right it leaves the reader wanting more, and they will usually come back for more when the next chapter drops.
spike to get the main characters out of the way