13w, 3dLong Fics
Main Characters: TWP, Sweetie Belle, Rarity
Cameos: Derpy, Applejack
Original Write Date: October 14, 2011
Rewrite Date: February 28, 2012
The Wandering Physicist has a long day ahead of him. After the festival, he determined he needed an assistant and has set about hiring one. Round one, the application process, is done. He has two piles of applications in front of him, one for full-time work and one for part-time work. He closed The Power Block for the day so he will have enough time to go through them properly. He stares at the piles of papers. He then opens up Equestria Daily on his computer to check the news, even though their Twitter shows no new news in the past ten minutes. In a building full of video games, he looks for a distraction and finds it coming up the street. Rarity with her sister Sweetie Belle in tow come up to the shop. Rarity takes one look at the ‘Sorry. We’re Closed’ sign, looks in at The Wandering Physicist, then knocks on the door. He quickly leaves his counter and work and lets the sisters in.
‘So sorry to intrude,’ Rarity says, 'but I have a small favor to ask of you.’
The Wandering Physicist raises an eyebrow. ‘What is it?’
‘Our parents left Sweetie Belle with me for the day, but I have some errands to run that may be too tedious for my precious sister, thus I need a sitter for her. Since I have some to run around here, you were the first pony to pop into my head.’
The Wandering Physicist looks down at Sweetie Belle. ‘Uh... Couldn’t Applejack or the chicken’s family watch her instead?’
Rarity rubs the back of her head sheepishly. ‘Sweet Apple Acres is too far out of the way, and Scootaloo’s father.... just plain scares me.’
The Wandering Physicist thinks back for a moment.
Before the festival. The Wandering Physicist and Dream Maker are meeting with the Mayor and a dark orange pegasus.
‘You are impeding our first amendment rights! We demand our right to protest this travesty!’ Scootaloo’s dad shouts.
The mayor sighs. ‘We have been over this already. Due to the limited access to that area of the city, you would be directly impacting access to the event. Not to mention we have a direct sanctions from Princesses Luna and Sparkle themselves to prevent your group from protesting the event.’
Scootaloo's dad stomps the ground in rage. ‘You have not heard the last of Westburro Church!’ He shoves his way out of the room. ‘Communists!’
The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘I see what you mean.’
Rarity busts out the doe eyes. ‘Pleeeeeease! I will repay you.’
The Wandering Physicist groans. ‘Fine. I doubt she will cause too much trouble.’
‘Excellent! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll be back to pick her up this evening.’
Rarity starts leaving, but Sweetie Belle grabs her leg.
‘Please don’t leave me!’ Sweetie Belle begs. ‘Can’t I just stay at the clubhouse? You let me go there all the time.’
Rarity laughs. ‘Sweetie, you know I can’t trust you on your own, especially after that last incident.’
‘But I’ll be good this time! Besides, his mane grew back,’ the young filly argues.
‘Now Sweetie!’ Rarity frowns down at her sister. ‘It will only be a little while, and Mr Wanderer will take good care of you. When I get back, we will do anything you wish! (As long as I don’t get too dirty.)’
Sweetie Belle sits on the floor in a huff. ‘Fine.’
Rarity gives her sister a kiss on the head, bows slightly to The Wandering Physicist and leaves. He locks the door after Rarity and goes back to his work. He picks up the first application and looks at the name: ‘Snails’. He stares at the name for several seconds. He sets the application down and the ‘Maybe’ pile is born. He picks up the next application and looks at the name: ‘Selene’. He stares at the application and a cold sweat forms. The ‘I have to consider her or I will be killed’ pile is born.
The Wandering Physicist sighs and looks up. ‘Yo. Sweetie Belle. Can I ask you a question?’
‘Was that it?’ Sweetie Belle counters.
The Wandering Physicist gets out a drink from under the counter. ‘Very funny. Anyway, what shopping does your sister have in this area? She doesn’t seem like the type that reads comics or listens to indie music.’
Sweetie Belle thinks. ‘I think she is on her monthly “ya-oi” run.’
The Wandering Physicist spits out his drink, fortunately away from his electronics.
Sweetie Bell looks up innocently. ‘What is ‘ya-oi’ anyway?’
The Wandering Physicist buries his head in his hooves. ‘Stop saying that word!’ He moans to himself. ‘I can never look at her again.’
Sweetie Belle looks over at The Wandering Physicist, confused. She sighs and starts picking at nothing on the ground. The Wandering Physicist recovers and picks up the next application: ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’. He quickly opens a drawer. A light shines out, and The Wandering Physicist shoves the application inside, banishing it to another dimension.
Sweetie Bell looks up. ‘What was that?’
‘Nothing!’ He thinks. ‘Hey. Want me to set up a console or something? I have every game you can think of.’
Sweetie Belle shrugs. ‘Sure. I guess.’
‘Excellent! Let’s see if we can find something you like.’
The Wandering Physicist has gotten through half his piles. There are a few more ‘Maybes’. Sweetie Belle is lazily playing Mare-io Kart. Both moan out of boredom.
‘Kid, never grow up. Work sucks.’ The Wandering Physicist moans.
Sweetie Belle whines. ‘But if I don’t grow up, I won’t get my cutie mark. And I want my cutie mark!’
‘If you are that desperate, I have a hotplate you can sit on.’
Sweetie Belle gasps in horror.
‘Oh, I am just joking.’
There is a tap at the door. An overloaded Derpy waves to get in. A strange buzzing comes from under the counter and the door opens. Derpy brings in a large number of boxes and sets them on the counter.
‘How is the search going?’ Derpy asks.
‘Miserable.’ The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to change professions?’
Derpy pretends to think. ‘Hmmmm..... Nope! I love what I do. Plus, I get to go on plenty of adventures with The Doctor! Those are really fun, but I am not supposed to talk to anypony about them.’
‘If you’re not supposed to talk about them, how can you tell us that much?’ Sweetie Belle asks.
Derpy looks over at Sweetie Belle. ‘Cute kid. Who’s the dad?’
Sweetie Belle gags. ‘Eeew! Gross!’
‘Rarity asked me to watch her for the day,’ The Wandering Physicist explains.
Derpy nods. ‘Ah. On one of her restock runs. It is always fun handling the fancy materials she orders.’
‘Dumb fabric,’ Sweetie Belle mumbles to herself.
‘Just be careful with some of her more personal orders,’ The Wandering Physicist shudders.
Derpy giggles. ‘I’ve seen those packages from J-List.’
The Wandering Physicist moans and slams his head to the counter. Derpy laughs. Sweetie Belle opens her mouth to ask a question.
The Wandering Physicist does not look up. ‘Don’t say that word!’
Sweetie Belle crosses her forelegs. ‘Dumb adults.’ She pouts.
‘Anyway, I have a busy day ahead of me. See you around.’ Derpy says with a wave to her friends.
Derpy leaves the shop. The Wandering Physicist looks up. He picks up the next application, looks at it and puts it in the ‘I have to consider her or I will be killed’ pile.
The Wandering Physicist looks over the shop. ‘Sweetie Belle, are you getting hungry?’
Sweetie Bell shrugs. ‘I guess.’
‘Good. Let’s get out of here. I think I know just the place.’
A while later, The Wandering Physicist and Sweetie Belle are back from lunch, having made a quick stop at Neighponese Imports. In exchange for confirming Rarity’s shopping habits and a very loud, painful yell, the pair has stocked up on Neighponese snacks and manga. Sweetie Belle snacks on her new favorite food, Pocky, and reads a manga she got as a gift. The Wandering Physicist finishes up the applications.
‘I don’t get this. Why does she keep going if she is so sick?’ Sweetie Belle asks from her comic.
‘That is one of the beautiful things about Full Moon! Mistuki gets to live her dream of being a singer. She gets to see what life would be like if she were able to earn her cutie mark and fulfill her destiny.’ The Wandering Physicist answers without looking up from his work.
‘I guess that is a good story... And I really like her mane!’
The Wandering Physicist finishes the last application and sighs. He goes to his computer and, ignoring the latest story updates on EqD, he selects about a dozen names from a list and runs a script that sends out an automated message to all applicants about their application status. He stops to stare at the remaining dozen names and sighs again.
‘Well, that is done. I guess I can open up for a bit.’
The Wandering Physicist goes to the door, unlocks it, and flips the sign around so it now reads ‘Sorry, We’re Open.’ As soon as he does this he gets a visitor.
‘We meet again, Mr Purple,’ The Wandering Physicist grins.
‘What?’ Applejack is confused. ‘Ah am neither a “mister” nor “purple”.’
‘Nerd joke. ... Obscure nerd joke.’
‘Ah hope Ah never figure out even half the thin’s ya say.’
‘Applejack!' Sweetie Belle cheers. 'Is Apple Bloom with you?’
‘Sorry, sugar cube. Ah jus’ came by t’ see how y’all were doin’ with Rarity out o’ town and all.’ Applejack replies.
The Wandering Physicist is shocked. ‘Wait. What?’
‘Y’all didn’ know? Shoot. Ah would have thought Rarity woulda told ya since she stopped by mah farm on her way t’ Manehatten. Wanted t’ pick up some apples fer the road.’
The Wandering Physicist starts pacing. ‘No, no, no. This can’t be. She didn’t mention anything about going that far. I didn’t get any warning. I am not prepared for this. I mean, she even said that your place was... in the completely opposite direction of Manehatten.’
The Wandering Physicist turns back to Applejack. She is covering her mouth to hide her snickering.
‘Ah’m jus’ messin’ with ya.’ Applejack laughs. ‘When she stopped by mah cart and mentioned ya were watchin’ Sweetie Belle, Ah guess Ah got the Pinkie Pie prank bug and had t’ mess with ya.’
The Wandering Physicist smiles and shakes his head. ‘Oh, you’re a tricky one. With Pinkie, you see it coming, but with you...’
‘Heh, heh. Guess Element o’ Honesty can throw ponies off sometimes, but Ah can have fun, too.’
The Wandering Physicist grins evilly. ‘Just so you know. I will get you back.’
Applejack starts leaving. ‘Bring it.’
The two laugh. Sweetie Belle goes back to her comic. The Wandering Physicist sits next to her and starts playing the video games they left out.
Evening. The Wandering Physicist is still playing the game. Sweetie Belle is really enjoying her comic, and her face is covered in Pocky remains. There is a light knock on the door as Rarity enters.
‘Heeellooo! I am back.’ Rarity cheers.
Rarity is grabbed around the neck in a hug.
‘Oh thank Sagan! The nightmare can end,’ The Wandering Physicist greets.
Sweetie Belle starts packing up her things. ‘Hey!’
The Wandering Physicist frees Rarity. ‘Just joking. It has been... a day.’
Rarity is confused. ‘Was it at least a good day?’
The Wandering Physicist and Sweetie Belle look at each other then back at Rarity.
‘It has been a day.’ Sweetie Belle replies.
‘Also, she is addicted to Pocky now.’ The Wandering Physicist pulls Rarity aside. ‘Seriously. She needs help. She is up to three packs a day.’
‘Hey!’ Sweetie Belle protests.
The Wandering Physicist smiles back. ‘Just messing with you.’ He turns to Rarity. ‘She has been pretty good all day long. No real trouble.’ His eyes dart. ‘Keep her away from chopsticks.’
Rarity laughs. ‘I’ll keep that in mind. Come along, Sweetie Belle.’
Sweetie Belle gets her pack and goes over to Rarity.
‘What do we say?’ Rarity says.
Sweetie Belle bows. ‘Thank you for watching me, Mr Wanderer.’
Rarity bows too. ‘Yes, thank you. I owe you for being a good guardian.’
‘Aw, it was not problem.' The Wandering Physicist shrugs.
‘No, no. A lady always repays her debt. I’ll be in touch.’
The Wandering Physicist nods. ‘I’ll look forward to seeing you again.’
The two adults bow a little to each other and Rarity and Sweetie Belle leave the shop. The Wandering Physicist looks around and checks the time. He stretches a bit and heads upstairs to his living area to make some dinner and put on some tea.