- Member Since 30th Jul, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 27th, 2016
Field Marshall Nuggetman
A wise man once told me- you should always follow your dreams and become what ever you want. So I became a brony. I wonder if that was a good idea?
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Now, I love Criminal Minds. But when the second paragraph looks like this:
I just...
You accidentally a word in Fluttershy's dialogue, that's supposed to be a comma, replied is not supposed to be capitalized, birdseed is one word, and 'gives' is present tense and that's not right. I'm no Gideon, but already I can tell this is going to be a big mess.
I love Criminal Minds and I love MLP. So I LOVE this Story so far^^
Have seen all five seasons and have four season on DVD.
For the Bio for the Murderer... I would say, take the Standard from the most "Criminal Minds" Episodes. Bad Childhood, Parents total Sucks and drugs.
Maybe he has see somepony die in a accident and was in wonder, how easy it is for somepony to die. He has Investigate many different ways of death, but something was off, because, what is it, when a Pony is murdered? Is the Death different? What would it feel, when you forcefully take a life?
interesting , writing Reid won't be easy so good luck
and for the name try to choose one who describe something from the murderer like the weapon he choose to kill or the way he kill somepony. . For example : Ink Razor (i know , i'm not very good with names)
I love Criminal Minds!
Don't forget the to include famous quotes in your story! The wit and wisdom of histories greatest thinkers are some of my favorite parts of the series.
Thats a good Profile you make. I hope they Capture the Murder.
Would be interesting when you can make more Storys with the BAU in Equestria. I would read them.
)
Maybe an undercover Job, where they must be magically turned into Ponys. (I just like "Human turns into Pony" Storys
Or one of them get in a fight with a Unicorn that experimented with Dark Magic and it turned one from them (Maybe Reid) in a Pony and the Others must find the Unicorn, or he/she will be stay like this FOR-EE-VEERR!
They got human Elise and they don't even know it.
Derpy will be Sad.
First time reading this story and I like it.
It has a few mistakes and grammar issues but not that much to fuss over.
Keep up the good work!
The note was less cryptic and more direct as I expected.
But good work none the less.
Case-one: Closed
Some grammar errors, but nothing to bad.
Short but good. Will wait for the next Case^^
i like what you dun hear and it is good stuff, aaaaaaa dam it this hit my cross over button and that make me love too have more dam it
Can you put links up for the next episode pls
Okay, I'll try my best to help you through here. I'm not experienced, but I'll try.
Okay, one. You're missing Oh-So-Many commas.
Two. A Few grammar mistakes.
Three. GODDAMNIT MAN YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH THIS
SHIT!
That's all for now
EDIT: Four. Nothing is too gory for FIMfiction.
3131263 yea idk were my proofreader/editor is maybe he's dead or don't like technology I keep sending it to him but I got nothing back so I'm yoloing it.
this is good stuff
More criticizing coming your way.
One. The usual. Grammar/spelling mistakes.
Two.
Come on.
Three.
Actually, this whole part with Red Heart and the alley seemed off. It just felt scripted for some reason.
AAAAAAND That's all!
3133668 like I said my proofreader/editor may be dead I got no response to him when I send him the new chapter and I have a due day so I must post the chapter even if it has bad grammar and misspelling I tried to find some but I'm not perfect.
Too tired to criticize. So I'll say this: Plot is great
Another "he's".
le fu.
THIS SO TERRIBLE (not really its amazing) AND THIS STORY JUST SUCKS (dude this is amazing) I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST STOP WRITING (keep the chapters up) I WISH THAT YOU WERE DEAD (not really)
I HOPE YOU GET NO LUCK FOR EVERY DUMB STORY YOU WRITE (good luck with every story you write)
Noble Wings signing off
dam this is good
Ö le gasp
dam
And epic chase scene go
cool and dam i love it
Knife Wielder could be a name.
maybe he crossed over and got a taste of the bad side of the Human world.
I really enjoyed your story, Hope you can retake it
Next chapter?