Eye Spy isn't the best detective in Detrot. Far from it. But he's also never not solved a case. Which is pretty easy when all you take is grunt work and crap jobs spying on cheating spouses.
Then, suddenly, he learns that one of his employers is dead. Killed in his own building. And everything points to a serial killer on the streets of Detrot.
With little to no experience in murders, and the Equicide department tracking down Hard Boiled's killer Spy is all that's really left to find the guy. Especially when every other detective he knows is a suspect.
Written with permission from CEOKasen and Chessie for the universe of Starlight Over Detrot
(Added a gore tag because I realized vividly describing murder scenes is kinda pushing it.)
Chapters (13)
Author approved! This is excellent. Well done, sir.
-Chessie
Just started reading and I'm enjoying it so far. Got a bit of an Abby Sciuto vibe from Fluff1, that was pretty fun.
This chapter needed a little cleaning up, but I'm quickly getting drawn into the story.
Swift has some competition in the eatery department, it seems...
Well, there are more typos in it than I'd like, but, despite that, I don't know why this story doesn't have more upvotes.
3119791
Thanks for the kind words. I did a once-over of all the chapters, and corrected at least a few typos in each. Probably missed a couple,e but hey. What can you do.
3119994
You're welcome. And I know how that is; no matter how hard one looks, typos always seem to slip through...
I was slightly as a reader at first concerned by Spy eating meat, as it seemed to stray a bit too close to the canon party, but then I realized: since the reaction to Swift was more "...You eat meat?" and less "AIEEEE! ABOMINATION, DISEASE, PANIC!", the idea of ponies eating meat must be, if not well-regarded, reasonably well-known. So why not? This assuming, of course, that there isn't in fact a relation between this story's meat-eating pegasus and the main story's meat eating pegasi... :)
Oh, and I have to wonder who is in charge of hiring technical ponies for the DPD. "Yes, I thought that the singing, dancing coroner and the sex-requesting sometimes-eight-years-old lab technician were the best ponies for the jobs. Why do you ask?"
Another good chapter, I think.
"Is dat ehte TILE."
Is this meant to be garbled?
3183440
No, it's not. Good catch.
Hmm. Some kind of hypnotism or mesmerism? Changeling magic?
Sheesh, what is it about Detrot and crazy mare drivers, huh?
But yeah, echoing 3120320; you've got a meat-eater, and a crazy-driving sidekick, and it feels just a tiny bit too much like a straight copy of the original, personality quirks-wise.
Dang, that's... ugly.
I still can't fathom why this story has only nine upvotes...
I like this side story, but some of the elements seems ripped from the original, like paperweight pretending to always be at eye spy's throat, ink being like chief jade, paperweight having a foreign species preference, and her driving like a demon, I still like it, but those were some of the things that screamed out to me while reading
3272440
I don't really see the parallels between Ink and Jade, and it's Spy who's got a Zebra thing. And Paperweight isn't pretending.
Also, why does everyone point out the driving like a madmare thing? She did it once to punish Spy for bringing up the meat thing.
3272629
Really? Huh, I thought I had seen it somewhere else as well. I must be getting confused!
3272629
It's not exactly pointed out that it was a punishment instead of normal behaviour. Why and how did she hear a click in her RIGHT ear though?
I'm curious
3300054That would be the gun cocking next to her head again. If you needed to ask, though, I might want to reword or rewrite that.
my goodness, this story is absolutely incredibly well written! I sincerely hope more people get a chance to see this, and give it the upvotes it deserves
Thank Luna for crimefighting ponies, as they are truly the best ponies!
alright i'm up to speed on this story and i have to say this is really good. the new characters are interesting and i have to disagree with some of the others. i believe this more of a case of similarities showing up more due to this is how the world Detrot resides is. it's not cute and bright like we see on the show. It's a little dirtier and in many ways more open-minded. Cross species relations, desires to try new things or change how their ownselves work, and other unusual issues are just a few of the things that go on. So it's bound to happen that more than one pony wants to try meat. hell there may be griffins who are 100% vegans. and i have to say Fluff n' Stuff intrigues me. I wouldnt be surprised if Kasen and Chessie used her if their story somehow needed to have a few scenes in the Evidence Department. I look forward to more great chapters in teh future. I might be overstepping my bounds without consulting the council first but i'd have to say Swift Consortium approved.
3325171
I'm glad to see you enjoy it as much as you do. I try not to just blatantly rip CEO and Chessie's ideas, but there are parts of the world that I think aren't as uncommon as all that. They've mentioned in their own story that their meat-based restaurants serve griffins and other clientele. I would think that the advancement of Ponykind and the other major species would have left the others in the dust, without much to go on. And especially if this world decides to industrialize further, like ours has, finding precious flowers and the like for meals is bound to become more of an issue.
While it may be moderately easy to find farming grounds for vegan diets for a percentage of the population, when the majority of the world is expanding into cities and urbanized areas, finding enough room to support a food economy based almost entirely on plants might prove difficult. My thought was that one side has to give first, ponies or the land, and it just made sense that a species so diverse in its abilities should branch out in its base habits before it becomes absolute necessity.
It's entirely possible we might use Fluff'N'Stuff at some point. Just a thought. Heeeheeee! Keep going! I wanna see where this all goes!
-Chessie
3345587
Feel free to use anyone I throw in here. I'd be honored. Also, hoping to get some time to update this week.
I think the rating is just fine, on the edge yes, but fine. If you actually described the scene in detail you'd have to go mature, but you left everything up to our own(probably twisted) imagination. I also want to congratulate you on this brilliant chapter, I haven't seen characters this fucked up since the last 'Starlight over Detrot: A noir tale' chapter, or the last Criminal Minds episode. I haven't read the coming 3 chapters yet, but I really felt like commenting on your author's note just now.
I am SO glad someone linked your story in the comment section of the original SoD, because this fic is (almost) as glorious. Keep up the good work, my friend.
"I hope whatever you said to her last night was meaningful, cause those are as good as last words."
Bedside manner! :D
So... Sorry that I don't have much to say, but I enjoyed the chapter and am looking forward to the next one.
Excellent chapter, I seriously have no idea why this story doesn't get more appreciation. It's just as good as the original, if different in it's own way. Keep up the good work, my friend.
Well it's official. another villain has finally pissed me off as bad as Sepheroth did when he killed Aeris 1st time i played through Final Fantasy 7 (and trust me that is an accomplishment). seriously this asshole has made me almost as mad as when it was revealed how much of a wreck Swift became in the aftermath of Hardy's "death". yes I'm making a reference to the original story. I wouldn't be one of the higher ups in the Swift Consortium if i didn't. not to mention that chapter is what started up the whole Consortium thing anyways. but i'm getting sidetracked. Back on point whatever happens to the psycho from here on in is well deserved and at the same time bravo to you Daemon for this chapter to bring forth such emotions is a thing to be commended
3471862 mad enough to take down an entire rogue secret government organization and a private army? If you don't get it it's a Splinter Cell: Conviction reference.
It's just something that I picked up on in a few previous chapters.
-And now for something completely different-
Is it just me or is Fluff 'n' Stuff sort of like Abby from NCIS?
Alright, this is a minor nitpick, and maybe it's just a personal preference, but people don't say numerals. They say number words. Two and nine, not 2 and 9.
In chapter one, it's "Lock, Shock, and Barrel." So which one is it?
The cuteness is strong with this one. Now come on, Eye - older women know what's up.
I don't think you can afford enough therapists for poor Fluffy. I mean, having to lower herself to a private eye with no prospects - my heart weeps for the poor girl.
3120320
Whoever it is must be the one and only pony capable of standing up to Chief Jade (Until poor Hardy comes back from the dead, anyway.)
... but where's Rizzoli?
3480061
Thank you for getting that reference.
Pretty sure it's *Measured to be past tense like the other verbs.
Also, I'm almost disappointed we didn't get more detail.
*There
*that
So, despite all the other modern conveniences and technology, they don't have cochlear implants?
*Found
Damn, Spy. Just ... damn.
Do I smell the 5 stages of grief coming on?
Ouch. Friendzone level maximum?
*new. Or you accidentally a word.
Which chick flick involves gunfire?
Eye Spy is with the MiB? (Or is that PiB in Equestria?)
*joint
Out of curiosity, are Kasen/Chessie reading this too? Do you guys brainstorm ideas to make sure the stories aren't contradicting each other?
Is it the easiest fat?
Heh, a friend of mine got one of those for his 21st birthday (and no, I didn't buy it for him).
I like the story. Has something of a Harry Dresden feel; I approve!
"Miss Glow, you have quests! Rather urgent ones!"
"guests", I think you meant.
"I felt like a catholic schoolkid being stared down by a raspy old nun."
…
[opens mouth]
…
[closes mouth]
I can't even think of a coherent question about that. What? I really, really want an explanation for this. Really. The sheer out-of-place-ness of it has me contemplating unfavouriting the story. And I'd really rather not do that.
4115919 Well, the intent was to play off of the old arctype of scary-ass nuns as teachers in Catholic schools, but as more than one person has pointed out, there's no Catholicism in this world. So yeah, I'm rewriting that.
4116040
Ah, whew!
To be fair, I got the intent of the line, and I think that it would be good if this story was set in, say, 1949 Chicago or something.
4116040
Reading this chapter, I noticed you doing a bunch of rather...odd
errors throughout.
Do you have a prereader/editor? Also, I'll try and compile them afterward
4117626 I do not.
4118568
Aren't they called Stilettos, with just one L, in the main story? I know that as it stands, in Italian it's misspelled.
And a bit more throaty
There are some security measures
I'm pretty sure there's at least a word missing here
????
This strikes me as a massive shift in tone out of left field; this however, is a subjective opinion.
And in my subjective opinion...wtf, man? I'd understand a rant about his motivations, how his secretary/coworker etc. meant the world to him, etc, but full-on intimidation for no reason? :-/
missing a comma.
Typo.
????
Aside from all that, there's the whole joke at the start with Scarlet which, while funny, I find subjectively distasteful*. Then again, it's such a cliche and overused joke at this point in pop culture that not including it would probably be weird.
*when you realize somebody's biggest weak point-the fact that their sexuality deviates from the norm-is routinely used as a punchline, and that they have a higher chance of getting their head bashed in because of it...the joke stops being funny. Sorry :-/
On the other hand, like I said, it's extremely common and quite realistic, so...I dunno.
4123243 Well, the typos and stuff have been corrected. as for
I should warn you there's going to be more of this, in different ways, from here on. But I can't tell you much more without spoilers.
Maybe he can ruminate over proper punctuation, like his missing comma, to help him with that.
*bare
*than
3106799
I don't think so. Swift is the pony who finds fried pony a very tempting smell... At least Eye keeps to the presumably non-sentient meat.
3480013
I don't know what their is to weep about, I assume she's tried elsewhere and not succeeded and the mere chance of someone willing to put up with her antics with a relative lack of complaining is a breath of fresh air.
No, no amount of therapy can fix that. Still, her prospects aren't all that great anyway. At least he doesn't mind her going batshit crazy. 'Lower herself', huh?
3470802
Yeah, ouch. Somepony needs to be subjected to his own methods and have it ensured that he won't die for a couple years.
4116040
That's 'archetype' to you.
3479895
Eeeey. You got dat, sho' 'nuff.