• Published 15th Aug 2013
  • 2,567 Views, 75 Comments

Half-Arrogant, Half-Crazy, All Trixie Lulamoon - I Thought I Was Toast



Trixie is very bored. In an effort to relieve said boredom, she is reading her textbooks on magic. This is a very bad idea. The result? A spell goes wrong and Ponyville ends up with two Trixies, or at least two pieces of Trixie. A Lunaverse Story.

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Splitting Headaches

“Lulamoon?” Trixie asked again, her face slowly scrunching up in more and more confusion. “But I didn’t drink anything last night...

“Unless she means my counterpart...”

Trixie took a deep breath and looked towards Carrot Top.

“You don’t think my other half got drunk last night and went on a rampage, do you?’ she asked hopefully.

Carrot Top opened her mouth to answer, but Trixie didn’t wait for an answer.

“No. No. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.”

Trixie’s hind leg gave the slightest twitch.

“She wouldn’t go on a drunken crusade to Neigh Orleans and ruin the small amount of reputation I’ve gained...”

A small shudder ran down Trixie’s spine.

“Or ruin the couple of friendships I managed to keep before leaving to become the princess’ student...”

Trixie’s muscles tensed.

“Or embarass me in front of my entire fami-” Trixie began, before she suddenly snapped and bolted towards the door. “Oh, who am I kidding!? I’ve got to stop her!” She made it to about where Carrot Top was, the earth pony getting ready to reach out and stop her, before suddenly reversing direction back towards the living room.

“No, wait! I should hide and wait it all out!” Trixie yelled, as Carrot Top grabbed the air where she had initially been charging to. The earth pony fell flat on her face, having expected Trixie to actually be there instead of turning around.

“Trixie?” Carrot Top groaned, picking herself off the floor.

“But, if I just sit and wait, she’ll do more damage!” Trixie yelled, bursting back into the hall towards the door ignoring Carrot Top.

Once again, she reached the door, and, once again, Carrot Top was ready to try and stop Trixie, and, once again, Trixie turned around at the last second to let Carrot Top smack into the floor. This time she yelled something about not being powerful enough to stop herself.

This went on for about five more cycles, with Trixie’s excuses for both going to Neigh Orleans and hiding under Carrot Top’s couch getting more and more bizarre with each passing.

Carrot Top was finally able to get ahold of Trixie though, and she very carefully turned the panicking mare to look at her. “Trixie,” she said, very calmly, and very evenly. “Trixie, you need to calm down and collect yourself. There is no reason for you to think any of what you just said is going to happen. You don’t even really know what your other half is like. Have you talked to her?”

“No, but I’ve heard her,” whispered Trixie.

“Have you actually talked to her though?” Carrot Top asked, sternly.

“No, but-”

“No buts.” Carrot Top shook her head, “Until we actually meet her, I don’t want you worrying about what she’s like.”

Carrot Top carefully led Trixie back to the living room, and poured her another cup of tea. “Now then,” she said when Trixie had started sipping, “Why don’t we go see if Twilight has any ideas on what this is and how to fix it?”

Trixie’s ear flicked. “S-Sparkle?” She chuckled nervously. “Why would we need to go and see her? You already told me what the problem was.”

Carrot Top sighed. “Trixie, do I look like the type of mare who knows the first thing about magic? I was just tossing out suggestions to calm you down and help you figure things out. We need a second opinion to make sure we aren’t just jumping to conclusions.”

“B-but Twilight doesn’t know how many of her books I’ve kept since the whole Ursa Minor incident…” Trixie stuttered.

“Well, I suppose that just means you’ll have to tell her,” said Carrot Top, shrugging.

“But-” Trixie started.

“Didn’t I just say no more buts Trixie?” Carrot Top smiled and put her foreleg around her friend, nudging her friend toward the door. “Trust me. Twilight will be perfectly understanding, and you’ll probably like her better than our other choice for getting a professional opinion given how nervous you are right now.”

“Who’s our other choice?” Trixie asked, hesitantly moving forward.

“Princess Luna, of course,” replied Carrot Top as she strengthened her hold on Trixie in case she decided to feint..

“P-princess Luna?!” Just as Carrot expected, Trixie nearly tripped at the thought of explaining her predicament to the Princess. While she hadn’t necessarily explicitly kept any of the forbidden books Twilight had “borrowed”, the scholar’s notes more than made up for them, and, in some cases, the notes were even more detailed than any of the original books. Of course, Trixie hadn’t realized this until she decided to try a simple fire evocation spell and ended up burning her window down with black flames of pure hatred, so she was understandably nervous of telling the Princess about this oversight. She had thought it might just be that one notebook, and thus simply moved on to the next one.

Nope. She ended up summoning something with far too many tentacles for comfort about four spells into the next book.

Apparently, all the forbidden spells were mixed in with all the perfectly legal spells, and she already got enough of a headache trying to even partially understand Twilight’s notes without even worrying about which spells were legal or not. As a rule of thumb, the magician simply stayed away from any spells that used rather questionable words like eldritch abomination.

“No…” Trixie sighed after a couple of seconds of thinking. “You’re right. Twilight is a much better first choice.” She sighed. “I just need to stay calm, and everything will be all right.” She trudged slowly towards the door, a forced smile on her face.

“Besides, w-what could go wrong?”

…..

The first few minutes of their trek into town were fairly uneventful. Trixie was slowly calming down, and was even talking with a bit of her usual snark. They bantered lightly back and forth about any manner of small things, all in an effort to help distract them from their odd situation. Slowly but surely, however, Trixie began to fidget. The closer they got to the library, the more oddly she acted. Her voice cracked a few times, and there was several strands of her mane that kept springing up giving her a haunted look.

Carrot Top tried to keep the conversation going, but it was no use. Trixie was slowly but surely starting to panic again. The farmer was perplexed to say the least. Trixie was not one to panic over every little thing. Something had gone horribly wrong with that spell, and she had no idea how to fix it. Trixie wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do the fixing, so that left either Twilight or the Princess. She hoped they could help fix this quickly.

“Carrot Top!” a bubbly voice called out. “Hey, Carrot Top!” Ditzy Doo trotted up to the pair of ponies. “Do you have any idea what happened last night while we were getting the-” She paused for a second, glancing at Trixie. “-the you know what ready? Everypony on my route so far seems to be nursing a massive hangover.” The mail mare shook her head and pointed to Trixie. “Most of them can’t remember anything from last night except for a certain azure mare calling herself Lulamoon trying to get them to all go to Neigh Orleans to party.”

Carrot Top shook her head. “So that really happened? I couldn’t tell if what Berry told me was just the hangover talking. If everypony else remembers going to Neigh Orleans as well though…”

“How could they even make it down to Neigh Orleans, much less back, in one night?” Trixie interrupted before shrinking back slightly as her friends attention shifted to her. “I-I mean I could be wrong, but I know how long the train ride between Canterlot and Neigh Orleans is. It takes at least a couple of days, and Ponyville is only a couple hours from Canterlot.”

“It’s because you somehow convinced me, despite my supposed house arrest, to teleport about twelve of us there, Lulamoon,”grumbled an extremely grouchy voice behind Trixie. The showmare turned to see a very aggravated lavender unicorn rubbing her temples with her hoof and levitating a rather large gravy boat beside her.

“Sparkle!” cried Trixie, jumping about five feet in the air.

Twilight Sparkle, for her part, cringed at the noise. Taking a long swig of incredibly viscous gravy from the gravy boat, she growled, “Do you mind? Teleporting a dozen ponies or so really takes a lot out of me. I wasn’t even able to get us all the way back, and this hangover cure you gave me has yet to get rid of the half of my migraine that isn’t from using that much magic.” She huffed, only to cringe again at the sound of her own aggravation. “Of course, I even doubt you remember anything from last night given how much partying you did. Lucky you... My eidetic memory of last night is going to leave me scarred with shame for years. I still don’t get how you got me to drink in the first place, and don’t get me started on the incident with the fish.” Twilight shuddered for a second. “It’s like somepony turns up your persuasiveness to 11 when you’re drunk. You were like a whole new pony.”

Trixie’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks for a second and she let out a nervous titter. “F-funny you should mention that, Sparkle. There’s kind of something I need to-”

“Wait a minute.” Twilight interrupted, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “How the hay are you here? You told me you were going to stick around Neigh Orleans a bit longer instead of heading right back to Ponyville.”

Ditzy watched on slightly puzzled as to what exactly was going on. Trixie backpedaled, trying to use the shrink spell she never actually finished learning. Twilight, for her part, stalked forward with the curiosity of the tiger that killed the cat that was curious.

“Even if you had found another high level unicorn to teleport you back,” Twilight stated slowly, “I doubt anypony but me could teleport farther than Hoofington, and we all just got off the earliest train from Hoofington to Ponyville.

“So how are you here?”

Just as Trixie was about to bolt she backed into something. Looking up, she saw Carrot Top smiling and handing her a thermos. She smiled shakily back, and taking a long drought from the piping hot tea inside she turned back to Twilight.

“T-that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I may have accidentally messed up a spell.”

“Again?” asked Ditzy, blinking. “Is this like when you turned Lyra into the bear thing?”

“Bear thing?” asked Twilight, arching an eyebrow.

Trixie tittered nervously again. “Actually, it’s a bit worse than that. I may have accidentally messed up Luna’s duplication spell.

“What would you say if I told you there were currently two of me running around Equestria?”

Daisy screamed from across the market. “The horror. The horror.”

Her two companions followed.

“How will we hide the bourbon?”

“How will we survive the fireworks?”

One of Ditzy’s wandering eyes sank like a ship at sea, the iris resting in the curve at the bottom of the eye like a deflated balloon. Trixie even swore she heard a small popping sound complete with the whine of air being released to accompany it.

Twilight just stood there for a second eyes narrowing. Suddenly, one of them twitched and the gravy boat was crushed by overly enthusiastic telekinesis. The gravy splatter was not pretty.

“Care to elaborate?”

Her tone didn’t suggest she cared if Trixie actually didn’t care to elaborate.

…..

“Hey, Ditzy,” Carrot Top whispered as they approached the library. “Do you think you can get a letter sent express to the princess on what’s happening after your current route?”

Ditzy frowned. She was already pushing it, given she was already deviating from her route, and she had a second route to run today to cover for a sick coworker. She looked at Trixie who was actually shuffling forward instead of using her normal if somewhat arrogant strut. Whatever had happened to Trixie was big. It’d be worth skipping lunch to make sure she got a letter on the fastest route possible to Canterlot.

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” the mailmare whispered back as the library came in sight. “Do you already have the letter on you?”

Carrot Top shook her head. “Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to do much of anything today. I’ve had to keep Trixie in check… She’s not exactly in a good state of mind right now. She was downright terrified about what Twilight would do on hearing about the books she apparently kept, and you don’t even want to know the look that shot across her face when I mentioned the Princess.”

Ditzy rolled one of her eyes. “How do you expect me to send a letter that isn’t written?”

Carrot Top gave what sounded suspiciously like a sigh of relief. “I’ll be able to write it at Twilight’s while she’s the one dealing with this part of Trixie.” The farmer looked wistfully at Trixie. “I just hope it’s possible to fix this. Its sort of funny how much I’m missing Trixie’s bravado now that it’s gone.” She shook her head to dispel her doubts. “Anyway, come to my place to pick it up later. If we’re not there…” She hesitated for a second. “If we’re not there, we might have gone after this other part of Trixie. I might not know unicorn magic pretty well, but I have a hunch this could be serious. If we end up going who knows where, I’m going to leave the letter with Twilight. Okay?”

“Okay,” Ditzy whispered back. The pegasus furrowed her brow for a second, but forced a grin as they reached the library’s entrance. “Okay, guys! Sorry, but I have to get back to my route. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing, and get better,Trixie!” With that, she shot into the air, probably in a desperate attempt to get back to her route on time.

Carrot waved goodbye and turned to enter the library with the others.

“Oh hey, Raindrops! Where are you off to in a hurry?” Carrot was just able to make out Ditzy’s voice on the threshold of her hearing. She had about a second to process why Raindrops would be hurrying and came to the conclusion that she was probably frustrated again for one reason or another. It took her another second to realize that a sizeable portion of Ponyville had gotten drunk last night,and that some of the more rambunctious weather ponies would certainly have gone with Trixie to Neigh Orleans. The weather schedule, which began at six in the morning, was probably now several hours behind.

“Horseapples,” spat Carrot Top as a small jasmine boulder slammed through the open library doors.

“Trixie! Why the hay did you leave with me with a tired, hungover, and late team of weather ponies on the day of the biggest scheduled storm this month!?”

Carrot Top sighed as she headed inside.

She just knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.

Author's Note:

Everything about this chapter was late... How long it took to post.... The relative time I posted it (1am)... Even the author's notes apologizing for it's lateness which I only now realize I forgot to put in...