Splitting Headaches
“Lulamoon?” Trixie asked again, her face slowly scrunching up in more and more confusion. “But I didn’t drink anything last night...
“Unless she means my counterpart...”
Trixie took a deep breath and looked towards Carrot Top.
“You don’t think my other half got drunk last night and went on a rampage, do you?’ she asked hopefully.
Carrot Top opened her mouth to answer, but Trixie didn’t wait for an answer.
“No. No. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.”
Trixie’s hind leg gave the slightest twitch.
“She wouldn’t go on a drunken crusade to Neigh Orleans and ruin the small amount of reputation I’ve gained...”
A small shudder ran down Trixie’s spine.
“Or ruin the couple of friendships I managed to keep before leaving to become the princess’ student...”
Trixie’s muscles tensed.
“Or embarass me in front of my entire fami-” Trixie began, before she suddenly snapped and bolted towards the door. “Oh, who am I kidding!? I’ve got to stop her!” She made it to about where Carrot Top was, the earth pony getting ready to reach out and stop her, before suddenly reversing direction back towards the living room.
“No, wait! I should hide and wait it all out!” Trixie yelled, as Carrot Top grabbed the air where she had initially been charging to. The earth pony fell flat on her face, having expected Trixie to actually be there instead of turning around.
“Trixie?” Carrot Top groaned, picking herself off the floor.
“But, if I just sit and wait, she’ll do more damage!” Trixie yelled, bursting back into the hall towards the door ignoring Carrot Top.
Once again, she reached the door, and, once again, Carrot Top was ready to try and stop Trixie, and, once again, Trixie turned around at the last second to let Carrot Top smack into the floor. This time she yelled something about not being powerful enough to stop herself.
This went on for about five more cycles, with Trixie’s excuses for both going to Neigh Orleans and hiding under Carrot Top’s couch getting more and more bizarre with each passing.
Carrot Top was finally able to get ahold of Trixie though, and she very carefully turned the panicking mare to look at her. “Trixie,” she said, very calmly, and very evenly. “Trixie, you need to calm down and collect yourself. There is no reason for you to think any of what you just said is going to happen. You don’t even really know what your other half is like. Have you talked to her?”
“No, but I’ve heard her,” whispered Trixie.
“Have you actually talked to her though?” Carrot Top asked, sternly.
“No, but-”
“No buts.” Carrot Top shook her head, “Until we actually meet her, I don’t want you worrying about what she’s like.”
Carrot Top carefully led Trixie back to the living room, and poured her another cup of tea. “Now then,” she said when Trixie had started sipping, “Why don’t we go see if Twilight has any ideas on what this is and how to fix it?”
Trixie’s ear flicked. “S-Sparkle?” She chuckled nervously. “Why would we need to go and see her? You already told me what the problem was.”
Carrot Top sighed. “Trixie, do I look like the type of mare who knows the first thing about magic? I was just tossing out suggestions to calm you down and help you figure things out. We need a second opinion to make sure we aren’t just jumping to conclusions.”
“B-but Twilight doesn’t know how many of her books I’ve kept since the whole Ursa Minor incident…” Trixie stuttered.
“Well, I suppose that just means you’ll have to tell her,” said Carrot Top, shrugging.
“But-” Trixie started.
“Didn’t I just say no more buts Trixie?” Carrot Top smiled and put her foreleg around her friend, nudging her friend toward the door. “Trust me. Twilight will be perfectly understanding, and you’ll probably like her better than our other choice for getting a professional opinion given how nervous you are right now.”
“Who’s our other choice?” Trixie asked, hesitantly moving forward.
“Princess Luna, of course,” replied Carrot Top as she strengthened her hold on Trixie in case she decided to feint..
“P-princess Luna?!” Just as Carrot expected, Trixie nearly tripped at the thought of explaining her predicament to the Princess. While she hadn’t necessarily explicitly kept any of the forbidden books Twilight had “borrowed”, the scholar’s notes more than made up for them, and, in some cases, the notes were even more detailed than any of the original books. Of course, Trixie hadn’t realized this until she decided to try a simple fire evocation spell and ended up burning her window down with black flames of pure hatred, so she was understandably nervous of telling the Princess about this oversight. She had thought it might just be that one notebook, and thus simply moved on to the next one.
Nope. She ended up summoning something with far too many tentacles for comfort about four spells into the next book.
Apparently, all the forbidden spells were mixed in with all the perfectly legal spells, and she already got enough of a headache trying to even partially understand Twilight’s notes without even worrying about which spells were legal or not. As a rule of thumb, the magician simply stayed away from any spells that used rather questionable words like eldritch abomination.
“No…” Trixie sighed after a couple of seconds of thinking. “You’re right. Twilight is a much better first choice.” She sighed. “I just need to stay calm, and everything will be all right.” She trudged slowly towards the door, a forced smile on her face.
“Besides, w-what could go wrong?”
…..
The first few minutes of their trek into town were fairly uneventful. Trixie was slowly calming down, and was even talking with a bit of her usual snark. They bantered lightly back and forth about any manner of small things, all in an effort to help distract them from their odd situation. Slowly but surely, however, Trixie began to fidget. The closer they got to the library, the more oddly she acted. Her voice cracked a few times, and there was several strands of her mane that kept springing up giving her a haunted look.
Carrot Top tried to keep the conversation going, but it was no use. Trixie was slowly but surely starting to panic again. The farmer was perplexed to say the least. Trixie was not one to panic over every little thing. Something had gone horribly wrong with that spell, and she had no idea how to fix it. Trixie wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do the fixing, so that left either Twilight or the Princess. She hoped they could help fix this quickly.
“Carrot Top!” a bubbly voice called out. “Hey, Carrot Top!” Ditzy Doo trotted up to the pair of ponies. “Do you have any idea what happened last night while we were getting the-” She paused for a second, glancing at Trixie. “-the you know what ready? Everypony on my route so far seems to be nursing a massive hangover.” The mail mare shook her head and pointed to Trixie. “Most of them can’t remember anything from last night except for a certain azure mare calling herself Lulamoon trying to get them to all go to Neigh Orleans to party.”
Carrot Top shook her head. “So that really happened? I couldn’t tell if what Berry told me was just the hangover talking. If everypony else remembers going to Neigh Orleans as well though…”
“How could they even make it down to Neigh Orleans, much less back, in one night?” Trixie interrupted before shrinking back slightly as her friends attention shifted to her. “I-I mean I could be wrong, but I know how long the train ride between Canterlot and Neigh Orleans is. It takes at least a couple of days, and Ponyville is only a couple hours from Canterlot.”
“It’s because you somehow convinced me, despite my supposed house arrest, to teleport about twelve of us there, Lulamoon,”grumbled an extremely grouchy voice behind Trixie. The showmare turned to see a very aggravated lavender unicorn rubbing her temples with her hoof and levitating a rather large gravy boat beside her.
“Sparkle!” cried Trixie, jumping about five feet in the air.
Twilight Sparkle, for her part, cringed at the noise. Taking a long swig of incredibly viscous gravy from the gravy boat, she growled, “Do you mind? Teleporting a dozen ponies or so really takes a lot out of me. I wasn’t even able to get us all the way back, and this hangover cure you gave me has yet to get rid of the half of my migraine that isn’t from using that much magic.” She huffed, only to cringe again at the sound of her own aggravation. “Of course, I even doubt you remember anything from last night given how much partying you did. Lucky you... My eidetic memory of last night is going to leave me scarred with shame for years. I still don’t get how you got me to drink in the first place, and don’t get me started on the incident with the fish.” Twilight shuddered for a second. “It’s like somepony turns up your persuasiveness to 11 when you’re drunk. You were like a whole new pony.”
Trixie’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks for a second and she let out a nervous titter. “F-funny you should mention that, Sparkle. There’s kind of something I need to-”
“Wait a minute.” Twilight interrupted, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “How the hay are you here? You told me you were going to stick around Neigh Orleans a bit longer instead of heading right back to Ponyville.”
Ditzy watched on slightly puzzled as to what exactly was going on. Trixie backpedaled, trying to use the shrink spell she never actually finished learning. Twilight, for her part, stalked forward with the curiosity of the tiger that killed the cat that was curious.
“Even if you had found another high level unicorn to teleport you back,” Twilight stated slowly, “I doubt anypony but me could teleport farther than Hoofington, and we all just got off the earliest train from Hoofington to Ponyville.
“So how are you here?”
Just as Trixie was about to bolt she backed into something. Looking up, she saw Carrot Top smiling and handing her a thermos. She smiled shakily back, and taking a long drought from the piping hot tea inside she turned back to Twilight.
“T-that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I may have accidentally messed up a spell.”
“Again?” asked Ditzy, blinking. “Is this like when you turned Lyra into the bear thing?”
“Bear thing?” asked Twilight, arching an eyebrow.
Trixie tittered nervously again. “Actually, it’s a bit worse than that. I may have accidentally messed up Luna’s duplication spell.
“What would you say if I told you there were currently two of me running around Equestria?”
Daisy screamed from across the market. “The horror. The horror.”
Her two companions followed.
“How will we hide the bourbon?”
“How will we survive the fireworks?”
One of Ditzy’s wandering eyes sank like a ship at sea, the iris resting in the curve at the bottom of the eye like a deflated balloon. Trixie even swore she heard a small popping sound complete with the whine of air being released to accompany it.
Twilight just stood there for a second eyes narrowing. Suddenly, one of them twitched and the gravy boat was crushed by overly enthusiastic telekinesis. The gravy splatter was not pretty.
“Care to elaborate?”
Her tone didn’t suggest she cared if Trixie actually didn’t care to elaborate.
…..
“Hey, Ditzy,” Carrot Top whispered as they approached the library. “Do you think you can get a letter sent express to the princess on what’s happening after your current route?”
Ditzy frowned. She was already pushing it, given she was already deviating from her route, and she had a second route to run today to cover for a sick coworker. She looked at Trixie who was actually shuffling forward instead of using her normal if somewhat arrogant strut. Whatever had happened to Trixie was big. It’d be worth skipping lunch to make sure she got a letter on the fastest route possible to Canterlot.
“Yeah, I’ll do it,” the mailmare whispered back as the library came in sight. “Do you already have the letter on you?”
Carrot Top shook her head. “Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to do much of anything today. I’ve had to keep Trixie in check… She’s not exactly in a good state of mind right now. She was downright terrified about what Twilight would do on hearing about the books she apparently kept, and you don’t even want to know the look that shot across her face when I mentioned the Princess.”
Ditzy rolled one of her eyes. “How do you expect me to send a letter that isn’t written?”
Carrot Top gave what sounded suspiciously like a sigh of relief. “I’ll be able to write it at Twilight’s while she’s the one dealing with this part of Trixie.” The farmer looked wistfully at Trixie. “I just hope it’s possible to fix this. Its sort of funny how much I’m missing Trixie’s bravado now that it’s gone.” She shook her head to dispel her doubts. “Anyway, come to my place to pick it up later. If we’re not there…” She hesitated for a second. “If we’re not there, we might have gone after this other part of Trixie. I might not know unicorn magic pretty well, but I have a hunch this could be serious. If we end up going who knows where, I’m going to leave the letter with Twilight. Okay?”
“Okay,” Ditzy whispered back. The pegasus furrowed her brow for a second, but forced a grin as they reached the library’s entrance. “Okay, guys! Sorry, but I have to get back to my route. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing, and get better,Trixie!” With that, she shot into the air, probably in a desperate attempt to get back to her route on time.
Carrot waved goodbye and turned to enter the library with the others.
“Oh hey, Raindrops! Where are you off to in a hurry?” Carrot was just able to make out Ditzy’s voice on the threshold of her hearing. She had about a second to process why Raindrops would be hurrying and came to the conclusion that she was probably frustrated again for one reason or another. It took her another second to realize that a sizeable portion of Ponyville had gotten drunk last night,and that some of the more rambunctious weather ponies would certainly have gone with Trixie to Neigh Orleans. The weather schedule, which began at six in the morning, was probably now several hours behind.
“Horseapples,” spat Carrot Top as a small jasmine boulder slammed through the open library doors.
“Trixie! Why the hay did you leave with me with a tired, hungover, and late team of weather ponies on the day of the biggest scheduled storm this month!?”
Carrot Top sighed as she headed inside.
She just knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.
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Why wasn't Raindrops invited to Neigh Orleans?
Minor mistake: It's spelled 'bourbon', not 'bourban'.
I like this chapter. It's mostly set up but it's crazy fun.
3467697 My guess is she went to sleep early so she could get up and be at work in time.
Oh, goody. A comedy of errors that just keeps getting crazier. It's as if she's azure unicorn mare Basil Fawlty.
I think that's probably a good plan, even though ponies don't have thumbs.
I'm loving how this has developed. Town-wide party trip to Neigh Orleans, heck yea.
3467697
The L!6 that weren't Trixie were busy setting up something for Trixie last night in order to relieve Trixie's boredom. It was a surprise, and thus they were isolated from the rest of the town while preparing. I'm pretty sure I said that at somepoint in Chapter 1, but maybe I didn't put enough emphasis on it. But that's why all the L!6 have had varying degrees of surprise at what happened and partailly why CT woke up dead tired in Chapter 1. Of course.... Being CT she probably works herself to exhaustion quite often, so that bit of implied reasoning wouldn't have meant anything...
3468072 "I have a cunning plan sir." ...oh no wait that's Baldric.
This isn't gonna be pretty... *Ducks*
I like this story, but I have a couple of concerns:
1. Twilight violating house arrest. For me, that's a big problem. She's already getting very nice treatment for her various crimes (breaking/entering into forbidden library areas, wrecking the town, fleeing arrest), in that she only has house arrest, and she can go around Ponyville as long as Trixie's with her. Letting her take a joyride to Neigh Orleans is going beyond even that, and starts to make the house arrest seem insignificant. I mean, she just got to go to Neigh Orleans for an alcohol-and-party run. If she can do that, her arrest has no meaning.
Also, my understanding is that, while she can go around Ponyville with Trixie, she cannot leave Ponyville without the express permission of the relevant Court Department, Trixie or not. So she just broke her parole.
2. Why does Hoofington have a teleportation circle? My understanding was that this was a special thing for the griffin kingdoms mission, and set up especially for that. Teleportation is apparently rare enough that only Twi does it (and when Trixie tried she wound up way off course, then wound up in another dimension), so why would Hoofington be all prepped and ready for a teleporter?
3. Twilight has eidetic memory? When was that determined? So far we have Ditzy who has eidetic memory canonically, IIRC, and we talked about Snails and/or Notary having it on the board (Snails' being restricted to bugs and other critters) but haven't canonized that.
4. Why is Ditzy mailing Luna a letter? Trixie can send her mail direct with her hat. Did Lulamoon take the hat for some reason?
3467697: And also this. Unless Lulamoon doesn't care about friendship, shouldn't she have invited the L6? Maybe not Ditzy, owing to her having a young daughter, but the rest of them would probably have gotten invites.
3471357
!. A very valid point and maybe I didn't address it the way I intended well enough. The party technically started in Ponyville. I don't really think most ponyville ponies are insane enough to go to Neigh Orleans like that sober. Thus Twilight violating her parole was entirely a fluke caused by an incredibly persuasive drunk parole officer, who wasn't in a very proper state of mind, trying to entice an equally drunk and therefore disorganized Twilight to teleport them down there so they didn't have to take the extremely long train ride and could be back the next day (which if that doesn't make sense it is supposed to be drunken logic.) Twilight is in fact rather annoyed this happened when she regained her senses along with the hangover, but the hangover itself is debilitating enough that she can't express that annoyance very well towards Trixie right now.
2. ... well I guess that's another bit of canon I missed or misinterpreted. I missed teleportation circles being only for the Griffin Kingdoms, but honestly is that really neccessary? A teleportation circle is a tool for easing teleportation, but you still need to be the exceptionally high level unicorn needed to cast it. I imagined such circles being established in most cities on the off chance you were such a unicorn or that you had the money to pay for mass teleportation
3. Take that as seriously or unseriously as you want. There are people who think of their memory as eidetic when it's not. I find the idea of either Twilight having it as fitting or Twilight not having it but thinking she does as hilarious and fitting in a different way.
4. Yes, the other Trixie took the hat and cloak at the beginning... did she? I thought I said that? Such is the price of waiting so long to update.
5. The invite in and of itself is a heat of the moment kind of thing. Lulamoon is Trixie with out inhibitions. It's entirely possible the added impulsiveness shoved the idea right past logic so she wouldn't think to invite her friends. Or such thoughts would have gone as "But their getting that surprise thingy ready out on the outskirts of town. I don't have time to fetch them! No! We must go now and I will bring back all of Neigh Orleans to them." Or some other such nonsense.
Of course if it's really that off I can edit it...
3471959:
1. Annoyed isn't really enough here. Twilight broke her parole. She could get sent back to jail for that. For that matter, she arguably should. (Would another character be forgiven for this?) Letting her get away with it could raise issues along those lines.
As to her reaction, she'd have to know that half of Ponyville, plus whoever they met in Neigh Orleans, saw her, so the odds of the Guards finding out are pretty high. (And even higher now that Trixie's other half is still in Neigh Orleans raising a ruckus). If this happened... well, she should be freaking out, but I think it'd be much better if it didn't happen at all.
2. IIRC, Twilight learned her teleportation spell from a forbidden library archive. And it's derived from something Luna herself came up with and sealed away, presumably not telling anyone else about. Twilight is quite possibly the only non-alicorn that both has the knowledge and ability to cast it. Teleportation by and large is probably unknown to almost the entire populace. So I don't think cities are going to be expending resources to keep a circle active for a spell they don't know exists and the one unicorn that can cast it.
4. Why did Lulamoon take those? They'll likely get lost if she goes on a bender with them, and I don't see how they would make her drinking any easier. Is she planning on giving some kind of drunken magic show? She's never done that before.
3472072
1. Annoyed isn't technically the right term, but I don't want to get into a matter of semantics.
2. But that is her teleportation spell. She came up with it on her own based on a spell thousands of times more advanced than a normal teleportation spell normally is. We don't know where normal teleportation is learned or stored, and it seems rather pressumptuous that only Twilight could do normal teleportation when she is only momentarily tired afterwards. She just does it better. Other unicorns might not be as strong as her, but they'd simply end up more tired and for a longer period of time. And a teleportation circle doesn;t really take that many resources once you get it going... It takes time to scribe the runes and pour the initial magical energy in, but after that it's mostly maintenence to keep it going. Some magic energy here, fixing up a rune there. All it really takes is a unicorn knowledable enough to know their runes and to at least know the theory of teleportation even if they can't cast it.
4. Because they are part of who Trixie is. Isn't that obvious? There's no reason to leave them home and they have sentimental value. Why wouldn't she take them?
3472130: Term or not, Twilight would be freaking out a lot worse than this. She could go back to jail over what she did. I'd expect to see her panicking in the library, or hiding under her bed.
The teleportation thing still seems extremely unlikely. It's not even necessary. Why teleport to Hoofington for the train? Just take the train from Ponyville. If it's a distance, stretch the party over a long weekend or something.
And sure, Lulamoon owns them, but she has no reason to take them, they'll get in the way, and it's not like she plans to never come back. I think she'd leave them at home.
one too many 'know'
3472165
I just wanted to point out that while we have said that Twilight's teleportation spell is based on Luna's universe hoping spell, Sunset Shimmer also has the ability to teleport. Admittedly Equestria Girls isn't really canon, but if Sunset Shimmer is going to show up in the Lunaverse with the same skill level she previously had, or at least close to it, then she would have the teleport spell. Admittedly, a circle in Hoofington all knowing the spell seems unrealistic, but I think a few unicorns should be able to know the teleport spell (at least some with large magical potential), or at least some sort of variation of it. It could be that Twilight's teleport spell is unique, giving her the ability to teleport groups of ponies, or she has far longer range in her teleports then others. But if Sunset knows how to teleport, and hadn't seen Luna's spell to base it off, then I don't think it's too much of a stretch for some other ponies to be able to teleport
3472165
3487586
All knowing the spell isn't really what I wanted though. I pictured it more as a luxury form of travel between major cities.that also functions as emergency travel for nation wide emergencies. There wouldn't be many unicorns that can teleport that far and of those most can't teleport that many. Rather the few their are can pick up and move passengers for a fee as their potential job. In states of emergency this doubles as a way to quickly move important individuals to where they are needed. Of course if you know a unicorn powerful enough to run the spell you don't need to hire the help. I used Hoofington as the example of where they came from because Twilight was tired enough to not be able to teleport them back to Canterlot, where I figured the closest circle would be, on the reurn trip, and we have described Equestria as having tons of hoofingtons in at least one thread, so I figured at least one might be a major city. As to why they didn't just take the train it was a matter of time as well as distance. That is, I pictured Neigh Orleans to be far enough away that a flat train ride would take more than one day. That's a couple of day's with a terrified Trixie and her friends in a near ghost town not really knowing what happened, which would have been like an incredibly huge awkward pause until the round trip was complete and ponies came back to tell them where they left to.
3472072
To be fair, Trixie should also be fired from her job (at least. At worst, she should be arrested), what with practicing a possibly dangerous spell without any kind of observer to ensure it doesn't go wrong, it going wrong, and that not only preventing the weather team from doing their job, but also through that negligence, aiding and abetting the parole breaking. And don't even get me started on how other characters should be arrested, because there are a lot of things that have happened are arrest worthy.
3500907
Heh heh... It's sort of funny having the legal ramifications of my story thrown back at me... I actually considered the Twilight and Trixie options, but excused them on the fact that my story is meant to only be semi-serious. That is, the red tape of proper justice would happen behind the scenes after the main problems of the story, and the fact that Trixie's duplicates were not in a proper state of mind would end up providing a legal excuse to at least lessen punishment and that such punishment would occur offscreen, possibly being referenced by others as something like The Dualamoon Incident or something similar. I didn't even think of what it meant for the rest of the town (such as the weather patrol neglection) or the fact that Trixie was experimenting with relatively unknown magic without supervision... I just kept thinking of it being along similar lines to Foalish Misadventures in that the result is pretty much treated like a small natural disaster.
Pretty solid and entertaining chapter. I did have 'some; issue with Twi teloporting so many ponies, but the circle was at least used to imply she couldn't do it frequently so that takes away most of my concerns. I wonder what the surprise was?
3530904
Yay! you accepted the circle idea! Some people seem to think it implies teleporting is too easy but I meant the opposite, although that's probably my fault more than anything else. Anypony besides Twilight who teleported would probably have a special talent in teleporting given the amount of energy it needs, and even given that simply makes casting it easier without giving them the natural magic reserves Twilight has. They might need teleportation circles just to ferry a few important individuals around for a job. Twilight could barely do all of that teleportation, hence the only coming partway back, but I suppose I didn't explain it well enough.
3531576
I won't say i'm 100% on it, but it's a cool idea and I could see something like that existing in a magical world, a 'waygate' if you will.
When is the next chapter going to be done? Do you know?
I'd almost forgotten about this fic (before you mentioned it again on in the brainstorming thread) and since I seemingly forgot to favorite it, I didn't realize there had been any updates since the first chapter.
Anyway, I think that as G&C2 pointed out there is a major continuity concern with Twilight breaking parole. Now unlike him I'm not at all concerned about the moral ramifications, being persuaded to do so by her own drunken parole officer and the fact that she actually came back of her own recognizances elevate pretty much all of that. However, I do believe it's been established that Twilight actually wears a magical security anklet that will sound an alarm to call the guards if she leaves the library without a designated escort. Even with said escort, she's still not supposed to be able to leave Ponyvlle without triggering the same alarm unless pre-arranged travel permission has been granted. More so still, even if we assumed the latter is just a technicality, the moment she departed for Hoofington while Lulamoon remained in Neigh Orleans, the alarm on her anklet would have triggered.
In addition I do have some concerns over the implied commonality of long-range teleportation circles. We really should be more careful not to use magic as an excuse to disregard the otherwise normal technological limitation of the setting. Travel in Equestria is supposed to by and large be by train, supplemented by a burgeoning number of newly developed airships. Adding teleportation circles on top of that is problematic, especially since other fics actually depend upon the limitation that the time it takes to travel by train inflicts.
Really, I must ask, does this fic actually need to involve Neigh Orleans at all? Or if it's going to, should the characters maybe have already just been in Neigh Orleans for some reason or another in the first place? Though the latter makes it harder to involve Twilight, but then again, she's not a character we should let ourselves become overly reliant on. Twilight solving all the magical problems could far to easily become just as clichéd in the Lunaverse as Twilight screwing up a spell is in Maneverse fics.
I really do like this fic, but I've got some serious concerns about how it works in the context of canon.
I get the feeling this will be reffered to as something along the lines of the Twolamon Incident, or something, poor Carrot Top, she's gonna get a headache at the end of this.