Knight Artorias was once a proud knight, renowned the world over for his heroic deeds done for the kingdom of Lordran. The people loved him, and he loved the people he defended.
His seemingly everlasting glory would end abruptly, however, when the neighboring kingdom of Oolacile called for his aid when Manus, lord of the abyss had begun to destroy Oolacile. Knight Artorias rushed to their aid, bringing along his battle-trained grey wolf, Sif, to help him fight Manus. They fought effortlessly through Manus' minions, having battled much more powerful foes in the past, and got to Manus swiftly, expecting this to be another quick fight.
He was very wrong.
Manus quickly overtook Artorias with the powers of the Abyss, and simply putting the wolf to sleep, seeing no threat from it. Thus, the great knight Artorias became the horror we know today:
Artorias the Abyss walker.
--==--
This is a crossover with Dark Souls. I don't own anything aside from the story itself, although I'm sure that was painfully obvious.
Finally, finally! After years of searching I have finally found a Dark Souls Cross over, fucking brilliant!
I can now finally post this! Come Solaire Join me on this glorious adventure, come touch my summoning sign!
fybertech.com/4get/13196712103188.png
3738200 So, I'd like to assume that you enjoyed it.
3738851 Thanks, I put a lot of work into the pilot chapter!
I LIKE THIS STORY YAH MADE LUNARSTALLION! now i just eagerly await the next chapter!
3739785 WHY THANK YOU LUNASON IT MEANS A LOT! And don't worry, I'll be focusing on this for a while before returning to my other stories, and I SHOULD have another chapter out sooner than usual with my stories. Then again, USUAL time between chapters can be anywhere between a week, to a full year. Hopefully, it's the week one
3739800 of course....NOW THE SPEAKING IS REVERSED! HaHaAHAHhahAAhahahahahahAHaHaHhahAhAhA
For Lore matters:
Artorias' speech sounds too...modern,I mean it was probably hundreds if not thousands of years before the Chosen Undead came to Lordran and even then,no one talked like that.
I thought he more of an animal rather than warrior in the fight,so it's more that the abyssal corruption is irreversible and made him howling insane/feral rather than being evil.
Wasn't he part of the Giant race of Humanoids(Anor Londo and all that) and not an undead,so the Estus doesn't work because it's actually filled with Bonfires and only undead can heal themselves with those?
Also wasn't he around Oolacile most of the time?Since it's there that we find him and Gough(who was staying enough time to carve trees to art), in the Colosseum...s,and most of the people in Oolacile are being/were either converted or dead,with the Abyss Spreading without his help
Also,Manus is...too malevolent for my tastes,in DS,he was more like a beast,wasn't aggressive until the Oolacile ravaged his grave,inciting his wrath(since most think he's either the Furtive Pygmy or Human after wandering to the Abyss too long,his humanity went wild and here's what we see) and not so "BWAHAHAHA,I'M EVIL",though he had enough of a mind to seek the pendant,for unknown reasons(nostalgia/fondness maybe?).
Hell,the abyss so feared because we and they don't know what it is,is it the Below before the fall of the Dragons,only with the first flame missing,thus the darkness/abyss of below spreading all over the world?
Is it the darkness that the Dark Lord controls?
The unknown?
Mass unfocused humanity?
Or is it something new/older all together?
As for personal preferences:
Weren't Luna and Celestia only movers(of the rather small) Celestial Bodies and not "Light and Darkness" or "Totally Goddesses of good in the MLP world.",and being Very powerful ponies with "God jobs" instead of Gods beyond the comprehension of Mortals?
And why no mention of the Broken arm,Sif or the other three of Gwyn's Four knights?(especially with the implied romance with him and Ciaran?)
Also wouldn't Artorias have problems,you know,with mentioning his fall,his loss of sanity,his failing of everyone he knew?
Also,instead of spells,shouldn't he just practice decent faith required Miracles?
3740411 Okay, let's address these one at a time:
Speech - I can't write older forms of speech very easily, and that heavily influenced how he spoke, for obvious reasons.
The Fight - That was mostly my personal feelings about the fight, so they were the main influence for it.
The Flask - Well, we already know that turning human still allows you to use the flask, and we don't know for sure that the giants of Anor Londo could use it or not, so, meh. Plus, this is an easy fix, since I wasn't planning for him to use it anymore.
Location - Well, yes, he was around Oolacile a lot. But I filled in the blanks with what I knew and didn't know, so, yay.
Manus - You and I see him differently, then. I see him as the monster that I portrayed in the story: excruciatingly powerful, kind of arrogant, and a very short temper.
I don't understand what the next stream of questions means so we'll skip those for now.
Celestia and Luna - Yes, that is how most people see them, but I wanted them to be the goddesses of good for the world, so I said "Fuck it, why not make them into goddesses? Then I can have them and their parents try to wreck Manus' shit."
Mentions - Sif will be mentioned later, I'll have to find out what the broken arm is later, and I don't know what you mean by Gwyn's knights.
His past - I never said he didn't have trouble saying those things to Twilight. He may just leave most of it out. But, if I do make him say it, then he WILL have trouble, and may start shedding tears.
Spells - I thought it would make him stronger. I'm all about overpowering things in my stories, and you'll see a lot of that when the war starts with the Abyss and Manus.
Artorias was not Human and never undead none of the four knights where. They where basically demigods to the settings real gods like Gwyn and Nito.
Also his speech patters should be even more outdated then Lunas after her return and he isn't one to boast or hide, he is described as an holy warrior with an unbendable will of steel and he fought Dragons, the Darkwraiths, the four kings and traversed the abyss twice once to face the Darkwraiths in their own home which earned him the title Abysswalker and the second time in Ooloacile which didn't go so well because he was defeated by Manus who took control over him after he sacrificed himself and his shield to protect sif.
When writing him keep in mind that he was a member of the elite of the army that vanquished the dragons and changed the order of the world, at base he should be serious and very confident in his abilities which are primarily his complete mastery of the greatsword and secondary at most miracles, dark sorceries would be ok too because of his pact with the abyss.
He wouldn't see the need to hide or show off in front of them and neither should he be so open and willing to tell them everything about everything. And please by the gods don't have him explain the stuff he does to them after he uses it, if you do it for the reader maybe put a link to it in a footnote or explain it in the Authors note.
And Manus is more a force of nature then something that is actively evil or has malevolent plans, he awoke after the people from Oolacie desecrated his grave on suggestion of possibly Kaathe or Frampt and stole his pendant, then he went on to spread the abyss in search of the missing pieces.
Also the revelation that the abyss is here was way to rushed and then Celestia begins showing memories of devastation and carnage to her little ponies out of nowhere, she could have instead told them about how the abyss invaded without seeming reason and terribly twisting and turning their own people against them and they had now power to stop it, only delay it and temporarily seal the source with the help of the elements.
The whole part about how they fought against Manus and the sudden arrival of their parents showing up and fighting him was kind of bad.
The abyss isn't a force that attacks and overwhelms enemies, it slowly spreads and twists everything while you stand there unable to stop it.
Dear gods i'm thinking this over way to much and i don't want to produce an even bigger wall of text so i just stop here and if you think something of what i'm trying to tell here has any value to you i can maybe expand on it
3740778 Actually, this is VERY helpful to me. Would you mind PMing me the rest of it?
Also, his speech, Manus, and the flask were addressed already in a previous comment. A couple more things were too, see if they help narrow things down at all.
3740700
In the boss fight,he had a broken arm(his shield arm).
The arm was broken because Manus could hit so hard that the shield cracked,with Artorias' hand broken in the process.
Or maybe it was after leaving the shield to Sif ,not sure:P.
Artorias was one of Gwyn's Four knights(Gough,Ciaran and Ornestein are the rest),some parts of Fanon portray them as close acquaintances if not out-right friends...just sayin,it was pretty much the closest group in Canon where he could have some form of a relationship,friendship or otherwise.
We know the Abyss isn't just darkness, "evil" or hell because it has the purest beings of "humanity",humanity phantoms(or pieces of the Dark Soul,your choice) and the Oolacile Dark Sorceries use Humanity in some way or another,not the Abyss itself.
The abyss,as the game shows, was closer to the Void rather than hell,it was literary NOTHING,or it could be mass uncontrolled,uncompressed "humanity",would explain it's more damaging properties.
We really don't know what it is
Also what's with all the "speaking to God/angel" in all those redemption stories?
Couldn't they just dump him somewhere with a conscious/subconscious message?
The whole "Sure,why not" with the power levels is a bit annoying,to be honest.
And as a quick heads up: avoid exposition abou as much as you can(except Prologues),the last thing the audience wants is to be reminded of stuff it already should know,especially if it just sounds like exposition from a character that has no reason to say it.
3743314 I'll be sure to keep that in mind through the rest of the story. Thanks for the help!
Brilliant, wish I had written it. Best of luck with the rest of the story!
3745314 Thanks!
Also, concerning Artorias' speech patterns, if you go back to all the unused dialog from the game he speaks very similar to how Luna does in Luna Eclipsed.
Easiest base of reference would be videos like these:
3745345 Need moar! STAT! hold on we are going to lose him if he doesn't get something to read! He needs it within a few seconds or HE> WILL> DIE! nothing!? I see R.I.P onyx.
Oh you and your insatiable lust for overpowering everything.
well this will be good
Why did you do that?
What does DLC stand for?
4581615
Downloadable content
4581609 It was easier than trying to give him certain elemental spells, like just dark bead or pursuers. Instead of needing to decide which spells would fit well for Artorias, I decided "Fuck it, I'm lazy" and gave him every single spell.
Well...fuck here comes Manus.
... What? Ok Manus and the Abyss was all wrong! The reason the denizens if Oolacile attacked us as the player was because we were, like always, just barging into peoples homes and lives and killing all we saw. They just didn't want to be disturbed. And the natural denizens of the Abyss are the living Humanities that don't actively try to hurt you they only want to touch you... Unfortunately it hurts you. Manus is not malevolent. He simply doesn't have the drive for it anymore. He's just a being with only one desire on the whole world, his amulet... Unless the equestrians have his amulet he'd ignore them like humans do ants. Basically the Abyss is passive unless provoked or you have something it's father wants. Other than that I find your story enjoyable ^.^ ... Oh and I think Manus can't talk... I'm not too sure though
As sad as it is that Celestia and Luna lost their parents... Imagine what horrors Manus endured... Imagine what sick things happened to him that the only thing in the entire world that he desires or even thinks about is a broken, ancient amulet... Besides they just started to enter their home. I'd be annoyed if a bunch weirdos just turned up on my doorstep and refused to leave XD it's just that Manus's humanity is Primal and Wild... Also if the people of Oolacile were attacking Equestria was this before or after it was taken by the Dark?
4692585 I get where you're coming from, but I have three major points to bring up to you:
One: I've explained before that most of the lore may be wrong, but that's simply because most people interpret it differently. I know that the whole Oolacile thing started because the people were a bunch of pricks and woke up Manus, but it wouldn't be as... is dramatic the word? Let's go with that; as dramatic of an effect if we saw ponies walk up to a grave and be like "Dude, let's feed off of this things humanity, the giant creepy snake of darkness said so." Instead, I wrote it my own way, where Manus is an evil tyrant hell bent on destroying everything and putting it in the Abyss.
Two: (More in response to your other comment, 4692608) No, this was far before the events in Oolacile, mostly because of, well, let's just say that it'll get explained later.
And Three: I'm just gonna say this now; you are arguing with me over a small amount of wrong lore from a video game. Inside a fan-fiction written about techni-colored ponies learning about friendship. Need I say more?
Let's hope an Undead arrives because no one can kill Manus
4692634 But they got Artorias!
Oh wait, Manus beat him up once already... Uh, well Artorias:
4692633 I get it XD the thing is Manus in game and in lore isn't... Smart... He's just a giant thing with only one want... Since you've given him enough intelligence and ambition you've made an already overly powerful being into a near unstoppable monster. Also really what were the things that were attacking? Were they others that were rendered into mutants like Oolacile? I just really wanna know XD oh yeah everything living eventually returns to the Abyss and since Manus can interact with Equestria I'm gonna assume that it works like that in Equestria too.
4692642 I hope the Magic of Friendship brings the dead back XD I'm sticking with this story to the end ^.^
4692670 I'm glad to hear that, and I hope you're not disappointed!
And to answer your other comment, yes, the things that Manus first sent out of the Abyss to attack were similar to those that you find in Oolacile. Except, you know, ponified. And about him being smart, I know that overpowers him. Fair warning: I overpower everything in the universe. We're gonna be lucky if there's still an Equestria to live on once Celestia and Luna get into the fight.
4697184 If that's the way then Artorias won't be one to stop him. Artorias isn't a huge godlike being and we all know that and honestly he's never seemed the type to want to be. He just wanted to serve and protect but that kind if power would make him a risk. And Artorias and all others of his kind like Ornstein aren't able to become Undead. They don't have Humanity I think so that's why they weren't affected. So I'm thinking a Twilight Undead?
4697446 Oh you...
I'll never tell!
4697453 damn ._. Also please make Manus quieter? If not near silent ._. I mean the Dark is quiet and soothing... Also will the Sprites make an appearance? I do so love those things ^.^ they give the best hugs (evil smile)
4697454 You certainly like asking questions, don't you Vinyl?
Well, Manus won't be speaking for a while, but when he does I'll see what I can do.
And yes, there will indeed be sprites.
4697460 Dark Souls is one of my favourite things and you're the only person I've kind if met that knows stuff ._. ^.^ and yay Sprites! Hugs for all! Also another thing. Since the dark magic from the first game was largely just Humanity as a weapon and some of it like Pursuers is attracted to Humanity in living things will it be used? Are ponies containers of Humanity? So many questions ._. It's honestly fascinating to think about... Or hilarious when the Pursuers do nothing and just stay there XD and I'm hopeful for no evil speech ._. Please no XD... Also is GiantDad gonna make an appearance? The Legend never dies
4697502 First: Dark magic will indeed be used, as a main weapon of some of the Abyss creatures. You know, Abyss? Total Darkness? In my head, ponies have a different kind of humanity, one that's unique to them and them alone. But it's similar enough to normal humanity to be able to be effected by dark magic.
Second: Fuck evil speeches, seriously. I always see movies with those in it, and yell at the screen "Why won't you beat the shit out of him now, you chuckle-fuck?" May or may not have been thrown out of a theater for complaining too loudly because of a fucking villains evil speech...
Third: *Cough* Side-story *Cough* Uh, I don't know what you are talking about sir, please step out of the vehicle.
4697542 I like to imagine that if Manus did speak it'd just inane and insane rambling a about the amulet and if we have it or where it is and when we kill him he'd just cry and say he wants his amulet... Depressing? XD but does their Humanity originate from the Dark like Humans Humanity? If so it would make sense for why Manus is there... Sort of. And finally, leave the car?! Are you Casul? ._.
4697559 Their humanity was born from both dark and light. It's kinda hard to explain, and if I did explain it, it would sound MUCH BETTER in my head, so let's just go with that.
Also, #GetRekt
Dirty Casul
4697570 The Light I'm guessing is the Flame and the Dark being the Dark Soul... So they're between mortals and gods? Hmmm sounds like cheating XD be Pygmy dammit! Is Celestia gonna go all Gwyn on us and raise a daughter as a son and then light herself on fire? XD it's all becoming clearer ^.^ also I ain't no Casul! I made ArtoriasSilverKnightSamurai!
4697616 Man, you're... putting a LOT of thought into this...
Anyway, Celestia has no daughter, but she is the avatar of the sun, so... maybe? Not sure about that part.
Bro, GiantDad and fire Zweihander is the only way to go. Get gud bruh
4697626 I'm not really putting much thought into this XD I'm just putting stuff together and then watching videos while waiting for a response XD also that but with Celestia was a joke but interesting. Also I never really used the Zweihander DX I only discovered GiantDad after I stopped playing Dark Souls... Also GiantDad is a word but Zweihander isn't and I have problem with dictionary ._.
4697675 Zweihander is a German word, so it doesn't show up in our dictionary's.
4697680 No I mean the in built one in my phone. And it registers some Japanese words as fine by its standards ._.
4697703 I see...
4697705 Yeah I don't get it either.
Those dark magic spells always one-shot me, presumably the Persures
4702991 It was always Dark Bead that got me...
Any info on the next chapter? When will it arrive?
4729929 Beats me. I usually write them either in rapid succession, or you're gonna have to wait for a very long time. I'm terrible with schedules.