Rainbow's been having trouble figuring out just how to express her feelings towards Twilight. So, when she can't think of a proper way to do so, she goes to Princess Celestia for help.
What started out as a letter for guidance ends with a most unexpected outcome.
Edited by ShimmeringStallion and RainbowBob.
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WOOT! It's finally out!
~Skeeter The Lurker
AWESOME!
Yay
I wuv it so much :3
Eeeeeeeh...
The starting letter was absolutely excellent.
The rest...
Well, Celestia was incredibly out of character. I mean, it was probably intended as a joke... but this wasn't very comedic, apart from the opening letter. In fact, it seemed incredibly serious. Celestia is being a cold-hearted manipulative bitch, and it wasn't explained at all.
It just feels rough, I suppose. You opened it nicely, then Celestia's response letter did a complete 180 on the tone. Then you turned into a sad fic, and then you just literally explained what happened afterwards. You would have been better off without that part.
Overall, you should have cut this short, or at least tried to maintain the light-hearted tone that you managed so superbly with the opening letter. The ending was just... bad, really. I didn't really like this, which is a shame cos I thought the opening was really quite superb.
WHY AM I CRYING. I THOUGH THIS WAS A COMEDY IN THE MODERN SENSE, NOT IN THE SHAKESPEARIAN SENSE.
Seriously, I love the story, but it's like you pumped up all this drama and just popped that drama bubble with the last paragraph. Still liked and fave'ed the story though.
The mood whiplash here forcibly removed my head from my shoulders. No offence, but you're right when you say you can't even do comedy correctly. If you'd kept is as pure comedy, I'd have loved it. If you'd removed the majority of the comedy and made this a serious fic, I'd have loved it. Mixing the two? Not my cup of tea.
3030311 3030324 3030254 That was pretty much the challenge I presented for myself. Write a story that starts out funny, then completely switch it up, make the characters do OOC things while at that same time acting like themselves, and then make the ending a complete mood swinger.
I think I did that quite well.
For a second I thought they were gonna continue on with the letters and fight over Twilight like a toy or something, but then you finished it in a way that actually produced feels........good work.
Eh. At first, both Dash and Celestia felt out of character, Celestia especially. Dash is flanderized into a quasi-illiterate while Celestia is just... not herself. At all. If it had actually been funny, if it had even felt like you were trying to be funny, it might have worked, but there was this undercurrent of sincerity throughout that wrecked any hope of refuge in audacity.
You got my hopes up when Sunbutt started questioning her actions, but the ending just fell flat. It feels like you gave up on the story rather than come to an actual conclusion.
Not my cup of tea. Sorry.
3030420 I'm sorry to hear that. However, thank you for reading.
3030311
And never was there more emotional whiplash,
Than the tale of Twilight Sparkle, and her sweet Rainbow Dash.
This fic is excellent. A bit confusing at times (there was a bit where I didn't know if it was Spike or Celestia talking), but truly a throwback to the classic idea that comedy is tragedy happening to someone else.
i think it was a great correctly X3
i thought luna was going to some how be the one to get her, as it seems she's the only one iver of them can't touch, so ending in niver of them gets her, as that is the best think as they both acting like they own twi
If I don't see a sequel I'm going to CRY! Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?Please?
take off that comedy tag and put SAD instead cuz DAM man.
i teared a little.
WHY DID YOU COLOR OR... QUOTE THE THING.
IT MAKES ME MAAAAAAD
3030348 I'm speechless.
Vell, zat vas interesting
If this happened then the Elements of Harmony would probably falter, I mean would Dash have the drive to protect Equestria? I mean this is a total breach of trust from an immortal god figure, to one of the chosen element bearers. This story seems reminiscent of Greek myth and how gods screwed with mortals. Literally and figuratively. Yeah this is a comedy fail but it is a pretty good dramatic piece.
How did I wander back into my Greek Mythology class?
Something tells me the Elements wouldn't work properly with Rainbow actively avoiding Twilight when possible. She no longer has much trust or loyalty to one of Equestria's rulers, which might effect the element too. I would love to see a story about the line where Rainbow says Celestia will "regret ever tearing Rainbow and Twilight apart like this". It could range anywhere from Rainbow herself doing something, Element failure, or even Celestia herself having problems out of insecurity.
3031101 I thought you were commenting & writing legend: Regidar.
3032340 Nope. I'm just Regi; the janitor.
3030348 If that was your goal then i do believe you succeeded. That first letter had me rolling on the floor. Then i read Celestia's reply and i was like.....damn. I was like....wow. Slightly-Dark Celestia in this fic?
I didn't blame Rainbow Dash for her reaction at all. If i were her i'd probably have requested a public viewing of Celestia getting anally reamed by Discord.
This fic successfully combined excellent humor with some serious drama and heartbreak; which is my opinion is quite a feat. Most excellent.
Fantastic fic! The different take on Celestia was done extremely well! totally believeable.
More please and will rainbow ever find love again and spike find love to ? Please no rarity and spike !
dude, we need a sequel, and celestia needs to be put in her place! make it happen!
Well, that wasn't a cheery ending.
It was funny, but I was hoping for CelestiaDash. Oh well.
I have to disagree with that, it was a funny read, and I kind of liked the darker turn it took, it was a pleasant surprise for me really. It was quite an enjoyable read.
Gak... Well that was tragic. I know this was a tragedy, but I was kinda expecting Dash's first reply to be something like this:
Dear Celestia, or whatever (jerk)
My one request (which you've promised to fulfill--remember I have that promise in writing) is that you make me an alicorn. That way I can be immortal, and then if I ever get together with Twilight, she won't be broken up by my death! Of course, I'm not going to request Twilight; she's a pony, not an object--that would be wrong. But if I happened to woo her in my own time, then... Stuff happens, y'know?
Signed, Rainbow Danger Daring etc etc Dash
I was actually kinda expecting that to happen... Oh well.