90w, 3dHuman in Equestria
86w, 2dAuthor Support
80w, 1dBlackWing is Awesome
79w, 3dUnique Transformation
13w, 3dThe Random
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78w, 3dChess Game of the Gods
77w, 4dAwesome Reading People
71w, 23hbronys united
15w, 1dxbox bronies
25w, 5dI Love Gryphons
34w, 1dThe Good HiE List
34w, 6dThe Griffon kingdom
32w, 5dHumanity sucks
28w, 6dHumans turned ???
15w, 1dThe 1000 Up Vote Club
11w, 1dHuman turns into X
7w, 1dWhy am I _X_?
26w, 6dSummoned Hiatus 17 comments · 318 views
32w, 1dBack In Action? 19 comments · 189 views
36w, 5dNew (Old) Computer 15 comments · 131 views
37w, 9hBirthday 40 comments · 183 views
48w, 3dHappy New Year! 12 comments · 390 views
49w, 3dCGotG author's bet. 19 comments · 509 views
59w, 2dNew Story? 6 comments · 158 views
66w, 6dA Broken Peace 27 comments · 128 views
67w, 5dT-SHIRT 8 comments · 74 views
68w, 2dOh my d'aww. Io writes Gilda's backstory. 1 comments · 99 views
"So zen, to live free, my Cable must go with you?" Freud had a look of shock on his face.
"Either that, or move to my village close to the source." Nadene replied.
"Father, what of the workshop, what of our business?" Furnace asked.
"Bah! You are ze first customers I've had in two months, and ze only reason I kept that place running was because I could not move Cable while she was in stasis. If we must go, then we go." The steel pony returned.
"On another note, I believe it would behoof us to make our exodus promptly, as the local law enforcement appears to have taken an interest in our activities." I added. Behoof? HA! I can make ze lame pony puns too!
"What?" They turned to look at each other, then ducked and put their hooves over their heads as an extremely loud voice screeched close by.
"Geirmund Freud! You are hereby under arrest for breach of parole, possession of deadly weapons, destruction of public property, and endangerment of civilian life!" A guard shouted through a megaphone. The three ponies huddled together in the middle of the deck, not wanting to be separated after so recently being reunited. At this point, I wasn't really sure what to do about it. My knowledge of Equestrian law isn't so good, so I'm not really sure what I can do.
"Ah stoof it ya blowhard!" Steelhorn surprisingly spoke up, hefting his ridiculously oversized blacksmith's hammer over his shoulder. The guards seemed a little fazed by this, but nevertheless held true, although they did lower the megaphone.
"Do not resist. Come quietly, and we ensure that no harm will come to you." The leader spoke.
"Can't you see you're interrupting a happy reunion? His wife's been in stasis for the past six years and she's finally being treated for her incurable disease? That, and he already belongs to me." I thought of a quick plan. Time to bluff my ass off.
"What?" The guard asked. I let out a huff and spoke nonsense.
"According to article C, subsection A, part D, paragraph 2, of the newly amended accord between myself and princess Celestia, ahem, Due to his service in the defense of Equestria from the changeling attack, the rescue of one Princess Luna from overwhelming numbers of hostiles, the medical treatment of one Princess Luna, engaging in combat with one Queen Chrysalis, weakening the leader of the invasion to the point that standard Equestrian forces could repel the attack, as well as several, classified, personal favours for Equestrian royalty, I, Princess Celestia hereby authorize one Captain Griffin of the North Sky, of the Griffin pirates and chief of the White Wind tribe, kin of the Silent Wolf, Dragonbane, Hate-Seed, and Smooth Criminal, access to any and all Equestrian resources he deems necessary in his continued campaign to bring harmony to the northern provinces."
Absolute bullshit. We never signed anything, much less went into detail. All she said was, 'If there's anything you need, just ask.' I added 'Hate Seed' to my honourifics, since that's how I kicked the changeling queen's flank. It also makes me sound more impressive. So, I pulled rank on them. I love my job.
The guards, on the other hand, seemed rather intimidated, if not for the fact that I just spoke of something they clearly had never heard of, something extremely important, but I'm also the famed dragon killer.
"And what does that have to do with anything?" The lead guard asked.
"Well, forgive me if I'm mistaken, but since Geirmund Freud is under arrest, his rights and freedoms are revoked, and he becomes property of the monarchy, correct?"
"Yes, your point?"
"Since he is now an Equestrian resource, and I have been allowed full access to said resources, and he is not only a skilled mechanist, but a talented surgeon, which my crew is in desperate need of, he thereby falls under that description. Ergo, the moment you placed him under arrest, he belonged to me. As does everything he owns, which includes his workshop and anything you may have confiscated from it. Have everything delivered here within 48 hours, or you will be found in violation of Equestrian law. For the duration of his sentence, Geirmund Freud belongs to me." I watched a legal drama a couple times. Basically, say things so complicated that they don't question it.
"But he hasn't even had a trial yet!" On of the younger guards said.
"I plead guilty, may I go now?" The doctor replied enthusiastically with a maniac grin, not missing a beat. Sweet Celestia, he's so in tune with me it's scary. They seemed to think for a moment before they burst out laughing.
"That's a good one, for a moment I thought you were serious! Just because you've been pardoned doesn't mean you get free reign around here. There's no way you have that level of pull with Equestrian royalty." At which point, I pulled out the photo of Celestia, Luna, and myself, showing it to them with the biggest smile on my face. Pinkie Pie would be envious.
"That still doesn't mean...."
"Do I need to write her a letter, so you can get it from Celly herself?" Add to the tension by speaking of their boss informally. I pulled a quill and parchment from my bag. They gulped. The leader grumbled.
"Fine. 48 hours, but then I want you out of this city."
"Done." The guards flew off, presumably to other business, and Geirmund's family just looked at me, shocked.
"You never told us of your connection to the princesses......." Freud said.
"And Blueblood, we pulled his flank from the fire once, oh, and Cadence, we stopped the changelings from crashing her wedding by crashing it ourselves, although I don't think she likes me very much. But yeah, I'm basically a badass who get's to rub elbows with all the big wigs, you jealous?" And there's the troll face.
"I knew about it from the papers, well, that you were there at least, but not your role. I didn't think it got to the point that you had actually signed an agreement with her." Furnace added.
"Well, all the things I claimed to do, I really did, however, the whole agreement was verbal. There is no accord. Basically, I LIED. Now let's hurry up, fly this thing to your workshop, get everything on board, and bail before they figure out that I threw them for a loop. Man, having ins with royalty is like having an easy button for everything. 'Hey! You can't do that!' 'It's okay, I'm the Thane of Whiterun!' And then I can get away with anything." Everyone just looked at me, not getting the reference.
"So, then, we're joining them after all?" Furnace asked.
"Well, seeing as how they have ze treatment for Cable, a need for mein expertise, und if I don't go with them, I go to jail, I think it is fairly obvious at this point. Once again, things work out ze way you want them to....." He gave me an almost scowl, like he wasn't happy with something, but it's better this than nothing. I used my wings to stay up and lifted my arms into the air, giving a shrug.
"Griffin always gets what he wants. Now let's get this show on the road. I am particularly liking the look of that minigun you had drop down from the ceiling."
Withing six hours, we had already loaded everything from his workshop onto the ship, save the building itself. We basically gutted it and bailed. Out of the city before they could even confirm what I had said to be false. Knowing Celestia though, she'd probably just back me up anyway. On our way north now. Back to Ruby Hollow to check and see if they're ready to give in yet.
"Well ya dang pirate, I finished em. Took me a while, but with Geirmund, Cable, and Furnace helping, it went pretty quickly compared to if I was doing it meself."
"Don't forget me!" Shimmer piped up. She had grown somewhat in the time we had her with us, at was beginning to look a little like a teenage dragon, a slight bit larger than a full grown pony if she was on all fours. She wouldn't fit in Gilda's pack anymore, so we had her and Gilda fitted for a harness of their own.
"Of course not, after all, you're my number one assistant."
"What did you finish exactly? There's a lot of projects going on, you have to be specific." I asked.
"Oh, right, well, I refitted Trixie's scale armor to fit over her new limb mount, (the chestplate) and I made twenty more laser rifles, one for each of the griffins. They all have much better eyesight, and could probably use something like that, since their riders are the ones fighting close range. Also, do ya want me to make a replacement for the one you two broke?" In response, Trixie brought out six of her explosion balls and whirled them around. It looked like I had a bunch of fairies or sprites or something protecting me.
"Ill take that as a no then." He seemed a little let down.
"No offense Steelhorn, but, using the gun just takes up too much concentration. I should focus more on using my natural spells instead of the gun, you know, more diverse purpose." The blue unicorn replied.
"Yeah, I get it." He appeared dejected. Well yeah, I would too. His gun is what got her leg cut off, and he couldn't even replace it properly. He's probably feeling crappy.
"Chin up Steel, if anything, your job just became easier. With you and the Freud family, I'm sure you can cook up something fantastic." He seemed to perk up at the idea of making something legendary, and headed back in after passing the rifles out to the griffin marksmen.
"So, unlike bows and arrows, lasers travel straight. Point and shoot. It goes straight, and doesn't fall off due to gravity, and doesn't have recoil. Keep both eyes open, lift it so it's by your right or left eye, depending on preference, look down the top, past the end, and whatever is there is what you'll hit. It's time for target practice. Everyone, mount up. We're gonna practice with our partners on our backs. Here's the deal, Trixie and I will fly, and release a number of these glowing yellow balls, your goal is to pop them by shooting them. Got it?" She created one of her explosion balls to serve as an example, and we had Nadene shoot it to demonstrate.
"Alright, form up, in a nice chaotic jumble, and fifteen seconds after we're out there, Trixie will put up the first ball. Then you all fly after it, and try to shoot it down. Part of fighting is seeing through the chaos in the field, and we're preparing for nothing less than a war. So, get ready." At which point I leaped and did a back flip off the ship, heading under it and out the other side, where the crew was not expecting me to go. They looked around for a moment before spotting me, already a fair bit away from the ship, the first ball up in the air. I laughed as they all scrambled to take off, trying not to clip each others wings, several of them falling and having to flap hard to regain altitude. Eventually, they began flying in formation, aiming for the ball. I instructed Trixie to move it around randomly, but always keep it a certain distance from us so we wouldn't get hit, and at the same time, I'd pull some arial stunts. Ever play that Nintendo Wii game where each plane has some balloons behind it, and the goal is to shoot the other person's balloons? Kind of like that, except I'm the only target.
"Trixie, call em as you see em, I'll try to evade as best I can." I drew my sword with intent to deflect and stray lasers, hoping they would be good enough shots that I wouldn't have to. They slowly drew nearer, and then their shots came. Trixie moved the target, making them miss. Then, I began doing corkscrews, went into a nosedive, then pulled up and arced over their heads. The shots missing the ball each time as they fell short.
"Sonor. AIM AHEAD OF THE TARGET! DON'T AIM WHERE IT IS, AIM WHERE IT'S GOING!" I called as I dove through the group, Trixie bringing out a second ball and bopping one of them on the head with it. She fell, but with a forceful shift of weight by her rider to tip her back upright, she regained herself and began chasing us again. The shots were getting more accurate now, and I started batting them away if they got close. Trixie and I were laughing though. We hadn't had this much fun in a long time. She brought out her shield, and started knocking shots away as well, or trying to run them through with the tip of her lance. Trying to skewer a laser would give her plenty of practice using it. She wasn't very good, but, that's to be expected using a weapon you've never seen before, and trying to perform a task that was proverbially, 'catching flies with chopsticks'.
About an hour in, the chase was still on to pop this stupid ball, and finally, one of them stopped chasing and hung back. I wondered what they were doing, noticing it to be the same one we had hit on the head. Trixie brought the ball low, and to my surprise, that girl griffin shot at my sword instead of the ball, bouncing her shot off it and into the ball. It popped. The whole group flew back to the ship, the successful shooter flying next to me.
"Tell me, what is your name?" I asked.
"R, River sir." She stuttered slightly. I then realized I was scowling. She probably thought I was mad at her or something, so instead I put on a dorky grin.
"Well River sir, that's quite an odd name....."
"River is fine...." She smiled awkwardly at my joke.
"River, that was some good aim. What gave you the idea?"
"Well, I just, saw the reflection of the ball on your sword. Nobody was paying attention to that, with their attention focused on the ball itself, I just thought I'd try it, and I guess it worked out. It was Raoul's idea." She replied sheepishly, motioning to her rider.
"Well, that was some damn fine shooting. You two get the day off to relax or whatever. Rest of you, training's done for the day, back to work." The two of them smiled and went down to their quarters. I was a little interested, so I followed them. Unseen, they both went into the same room, and I started hearing noises. The same noises Gilda and I make, although with considerably more growling.
'Well, I figure if they work closely for long enough, they'll have a relationship, and while on board, I'm pretty sure romance will start to bloom between crew members. It's only natural. So what if they're different species? I'm not exactly a griffin myself, and Gilda and I get along fine.... oh! I almost forgot, I gotta knock Geirmund's socks off, not that he wears any. I wonder if Celestia does? Well, I know my letter now. I'll show him after we reach Ruby Hollow.'
Another week and we were there, had some good winds. What I saw, well, it wasn't too good. The sturdy architecture? Trashed. The fresh earth and grass of the valley? Scorched. There were bones laying about on the surface. If there weren't any, I wouldn't have known there ever was a settlement here.
"Dragon took it, judging by the claw marks, only one, and it was a small one at that. Teenager maybe, but packs a wallop. It went right in their den and burned em out, then killed the ones who escaped to the surface. Didn't eat them though, which means it wasn't hungry, it was pissed off. Revenge maybe? What the hell did they do to make it so angry? It's not like they refused to feed it, if they did, it would have eaten the bodies."
"Perhaps the fight started within?" Growl offered.
"Would have had to, if the attack came from the outside, they would have holed up in the den, and instead of escaping to the surface, would have gone deeper in. There wouldn't be any dead bodies out here, they'd be piled up at the deepest level. No, it started down there and burned it's way up, forcing them out as it went. But the only reason a dragon would be so deep in is if...." Etch trailed off.
"They tried to take it as a slave. It got mad, and slaughtered the whole lot of them." I finished. "Well, I guess they got what was coming to them. Burn marks are old, ground is cool, it's long gone. Let's see if we can salvage anything. Damn it. I was hoping they'd change their minds, looks like they didn't get the chance."
Dear Princess Celestia,
Have you ever worn socks? If not, you should. They're fuzzy and will keep you warm in the winter.
Sincerely, The Silver Tongued Devil, Griffin.
Ps: Hope you're not mad about me taking Geirmund. He's fine with it, and we really needed a surgeon, considering past events. Also, hope you're not mad about the bar tab. We kinda forgot to pay, although we did give them a free show. Hey, what do you expect? We're pirates. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, which, incidentally, is ALWAYS gone.
With that, I sent the letter, and, I wrote another one.
Please give this to the seafoam green unicorn with the lyre cutie mark.
Thanks. Sorry for using you to forward my mail. Have a sapphire.
Sincerely, Griffin the pirate.
Ps: Shimmer wants to meet you.
I took a small blue gem, and enclosed it in the scroll, before writing a second one letter, and putting it inside as well.
Dear Heartstrings, (or Lyra, if you prefer)
Sincerely, one of them.
Ps: Please tell me I got the right unicorn. If not, this is gonna be way awkward.
"Submitto ad Spike." And it went on it's way.
"Alright, time to play freak out the doctor."
And some art by TheXIIILightning. Not too shabby.
And, in case you all didn't know, there's another story taking place in our universe. Me and Rust got a request a while back from the author, and we okayed her to go ahead and write it. So, here's the link. Clickity click it and go read. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on. You're still reading this? Click me!
Also, someone needs to make art of Griffin, Celestia, and Luna, in the garden in front of Discord, with the sword in the ground, giving the camera the peace sign. I can't send a letter to Pip until you do.