66w, 2hHuman in Equestria
61w, 6dAuthor Support
55w, 5dBlackWing is Awesome
55w, 9hUnique Transformation
54w, 23hThe Usual
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53w, 6dChess Game of the Gods
53w, 1dAwesome Reading People
46w, 4dbronys united
1w, 2dI Love Gryphons
9w, 5dThe Good HiE List
10w, 3dThe Griffon kingdom
8w, 2dHumanity sucks
4w, 3dHumans turned ???
As the convoy of freed pegasi, earth ponies, unicorns, and royal guards reached the squad of army ponies headed to the dog warren, they bowed seeing Princess Luna leading the troupe. Having attacked the royal family was a serious crime, and since the dogs had taken slaves within Equestrian borders, the princess herself went into action. Blueblood was riding with them, showing the group where he had been attacked.
"Guard? What is the meaning of this? Why are you here?" The prince asked.
"We, along with the other's who were taken, and several other slaves, were released by the diamond dogs who had taken us captive." The guard answered.
"Care to elaborate?" Luna said with her old equestrian lingo.
"The griffins sir, and a unicorn. They fought and slew over 25 diamond dogs. The warren had about a total of 60, with 10 surviving fighters and 25 non combatants still underground." He reported.
"Ah, then they fell rescuing you?" The moon princess asked.
"No ma'am, after having their numbers decimated, they surrendered. The self proclaimed 'Griffin Pirates' offered leniency, sparing their lives in return for the release of all slaves, as well as a fairly large number of gems, and some of the chemical weapons that the dogs used. The leaders accepted the terms, and by his advice, abandoned their den. They are most likely headed back to Gem Fido, collapsing the tunnel as they go. They were afraid of the leader, 'Griffin' the griffin, who the dogs claimed was some kind of devil bird and whispered about prophecy."
"Griffin Pirates? Equestria has not known pirates in over 400 years, the last of them being captured and imprisoned by my sister during my banishment. Piracy is a very serious crime." Luna said with a scowl.
"Ah yes, you are Prince Blueblood I assume?" The elderly stallion asked.
"Why, yes I am." He replied.
"Gilda of the Griffin Pirates told us that you would take care of us, something about she was calling your debt to them." He said.
"You are indebted to a band of pirates?" Luna asked the nervous prince.
"Well, I had not known them to be pirates at the time, in fact, it sound like something they just made up on the fly... but yes. Their group offered assistance in repairing the broken cart, which we declined. Upon being attacked by diamond dogs, they defended us, and cut a path through them for two of my servants to escape, then the griffin hen, Gilda, flew me all the way to Stalliongrad, dropped me off, then headed back to help in the fight. Apparently, they had a run in at the city and are criminals. Here are their wanted posters." The prince passed the papers to Luna.
"Trixe Lulamoon, unicorn, Gilda Oro, griffin, (unknown), griffin. You said that his name was Griffin? Griffin the griffin? That's rather ironic. Total bounty 220 bits? That's not very much. We should make haste to the place of battle. You four, take the prince, his cart and carriage back to the city, I wish to see the location of the fight for myself."
"Princess, Griffin also wanted us to deliver these letters to you and your sister, to be opened in private, in the presence of both of you. He claimed they contained extremely important information." The pegasus carrying the letters said. The princess took them and tucked them away in her cart before they continued.
"Those are, two griffins, heading to the jungle?" Luna said as she looked into the distance, spotting the pair.
"We must be close." As they arrived at the scene, they saw over 25 bamboo crosses, each with a piece of clothing, armor, or weapon resting on it, and a small mound of freshly dug dirt in front.
"Graves?" Luna said quizzically, her hoof touching earth that had been stained red, and recalling it immediately.
"I must know what happened here." She closed her eyes, casting a spell to relive the past 12 hours in the area at high speed. After it was done, her eyes opened in shock and horror. While she wouldn't be able to hear the voices, she could see everything that had occurred, and it wasn't pretty. She felt weak, partly from having to cast a spell allowing her to see across the expanse of time, but mostly from the grisly sight she had witnessed. Watching the attack, the impromptu defense by the trio, then the slaughter.
"How, how did he know? It's like he knew they were coming, like he knew how they were fighting. He was calm and came up with a sound plan, then became like a madmare when he fought. He taunted them, drove them crazy with fear..... no wonder they thought he was an evil spirit. The look in his eye. While they may have committed crimes, these dogs were living in Equestria. There was no need for such wanton death. He's dangerous. He needs to be captured at all costs. He's too far away by now for us to catch him. I need to get back to Canterlot and show sister what I've seen, as well as take these letters. The rest of you, head to Stalliongrad for some well deserved rest."
'He killed them all mercilessly, and while they did attack him first, afterwards, he drew them to him on purpose so he could wipe them out. He showed absolute disdain for their kind, yet then he showed mercy, and took the two dog slaves with him, of their own free will. He buried the dead when the dogs left their fallen family members to rot in the sun. He shows respect for the dead, and an understanding of the value of life, but then he'll completely disregard those traits when it suits him, casually butchering his enemies and laughing in their faces. What kind of life creates somepony like him? Maybe the letters will give some insights.'
"Why hello sister, how was your trip?" Celestia asked.
"It was... eventful." Luna replied. Casting a spell to share her memories, Celestia was horrified at what had happened, but at the same time, relieved that the prince, as well as her precious ponies, were safe.
"They've started calling themselves the 'Griffin Pirates', but it's strange, rather than raiding or pillaging, they instead simply do whatever they feel like, helping or hurting based on a whim, or whatever they need. The reason they decided to rescue the prince was not because they were helping a fellow equestrian, but because they wanted to spite his potential kidnappers. Their motives are completely unknown. Perhaps these letters will provide some insight into who they are and what they want. I was told they were extremely important and highly classified, only to be opened with the two of us present. I wonder what they could be?" Luna asked.
"Well, there's only one way to find out. Let's open them. It is not often I get mail from somepony other than Twilight."
"It seems the first one is addressed to me. Dear Princess Luna, is the moon made of cheese? Sincerely, Griffin. What kind of nonsense is that?"
"Well, at one point, somepony looked at the moon. He saw it was full of craters, making it full of holes, like Swiss cheese. Many a children's story contain either you or myself taking a bite out of it. As for why this is important and highly classified, I have no clue." Celestia explained.
"Oh, here's one for you sister." Luna said as she magically passed the next letter.
"Alright, Dear Princess Celestia, What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Sincerely, Griffin. Is he going to do nothing but taunt us with ridiculous questions? He didn't even specify whether it was and Equestrian or Zebrican swallow. The swallows of the zebra isles fly slower than their land bound cousins because they need to conserve their strength for the flight over water."
"How do you know so much about swallows sister?" Luna asked.
"A ruler needs to know these kinds of things. Alright, next letter, ah, one for you Luna." Celestia replied.
"Dear Princess Luna, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Sincerely, Griffin. What is a wood chuck, and why wouldst it throw lumber? And why dost he desire to know the quantity of lumber which it wouldst be capable of making airborne? This is confusing, yet, comical as well. Never mind, next letter." Luna said, starting to slip into ye old speak, something she only did when she was disturbed by something.
"Dear Princess Celestia, When is a door not a door? Sincerely, Griffin. Now he has taken to riddles? When is a door not a door? That's a paradox, if it's not a door anymore, then it's not a door. How can it be a door and not at the same time? You said that the leader of the Griffin Pirates, who mercilessly slaughtered 25 diamond dogs slavers, wrote these letters? It's as if he was born specifically with the sole purpose of vexing us. This is nonsense, we should just throw all these letters into the fireplace!" The sun princess exclaimed.
"What if one of them really does have important information, or perhaps there is a code hidden within the passages, some message hidden within the messages? He specifically instructed the courier not to open them, and that they were for our eyes only, and we BOTH had to be present at their opening. There must be a reason. Writing in this manner very well could be a security measure he devised. Judging by his look, he seems to be a mastermind, balanced with being a berserker at the same time. We don't have a choice, we HAVE to read them." Luna theorized.
"And you know what, if we do read them, and they're pointless, then we've just fallen for his little prank, but if we don't read them, and they're important, then we are fools. You are correct sister, and, they are rather humorous, a nice contrast to the constant reports, manuscripts, files, and endless stacks of paperwork that get dumped on us." Celestria replied.
Dear Princess Celestia,
How do ponies hold things when they don't have fingers?
They read the next one together.
"Um...." Luna looked at her sister.
"Don't look at me, I've always used magic."
"So wait, we're the rulers of Equestria, and NEITHER of us know how pegasi and earth ponies pick things up with their hooves?" The younger asked.
"Shouldn't this be common knowledge? How can we not know that?" The older exclaimed. Celestia took out a scroll, inkwell, and quill, transcribing the letter.
Dear my faithful student Twilight,
How do ponies hold things when they don't have fingers?
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
"Sister, what are you..." Luna was cut off.
"There, that's taken care of. It's not like I can ask the scientific institute, I'd be a laughing stock! Next letter!" She proclaimed, eager to change the subject from their lack of knowledge on what should be a basic topic.
Dear Princess Luna,
How do magnets work?
The sun and moon princesses looked at each other for a moment, carefully looking at the letter over and over, realizing they had no knowledge on that subject either.
"Erm, ask Twilight?" Luna suggested.
"Ask Twilight." Celestia answered, taking out another scroll.
The moon is made of stone, specify the type of swallow, a door is always a door, even if it's ajar. We refuse to answer the final two questions, because that information is integral to Equestrian life, and should not be given to pirates. What are you planning? What are your motives? What is your goal?
Sincerely, Princesses Celestia and Luna
Celestia cast a spell to make the scroll find whoever it was addressed to, causing Griffin to belch up the letter.
"Did you just breathe fire?" Gilda asked.
"I have no freaking idea. I saw Twilight's little dragon, Spike, do that once when Celestia sent him a letter. Maybe it's because I ate dragon meat or something?" I was genuinely confused.
"I don't know, NOTHING you do makes sense." Trixie retorted, looking at the scroll on the ground. "Well, gonna open it?"
Opening the letter, reading it aloud, we all rolled over, laughing in our current camp. The fact that the princesses tried to pass how ponies pick things up, as well as how magnets work, as 'classified' meant that they didn't know. The fact that Celestia asked what type of swallow was particularly hilarious to me, to which I replied, 'It's a human joke, and for some reason, she actually got it.'
We had set it up in the trees, bending several of them, cutting off pieces of others, making a bonafide treehouse. Of course, we'd have to lift Trixie and the dogs up into it, but at this point, I was used to having her ride on my back. Strangely, I didn't mind being ridden by a pony, something my kind is used to riding. It actually felt.... right.... for some reason. Gilda however did mind, and lifted the dogs by the scruff of their necks.
"Since we're up high, we don't have to worry about getting attacked by something from below, and we know for a fact that these newbloods aren't going to bugger off or gut us, since they'd have no way down, other than to fall to their deaths. There are definitely benefits to being the only ones with wings."
"And you were the one to figure out to use it for the best advantage. You really aren't a griffin are you?" Trixie asked.
"And she FINALLY get's it. I'm an alien in disguise. Yes, you heard me right mutts, ALIEN, as in, from a different world. In fact, I'm from a completely different universe. My old body was actually a lot like you two, except no hair, no muzzle, no tail, different ears, and no claws or fangs. That's how I knew how to fight them."
The pair of dogs looked at me confused, but they didn't dare laugh, mostly because they were afraid of me. They just stared. I looked back at them, sticking out my tongue and pulling my one eyelid down with a claw.
"Whatever, not our place to judge." They stated.
"Seriously? Are you a foal or something? You're acting awfully childish." Trixie said.
"Only young at heart. When you're miserable all the time, you either let it get to you, or you cope with it. This is how I cope with it."
"Honestly, he's like that lame pony Pinkie Pie. Only reason I'm sticking with him is because he saved my feathers, and I've seen what he can do when he's NOT acting like a foal." Gilda said with a scowl.
"That, and you think I'm hot." I smiled stupidly, getting slugged in the side of the head. I just got back up laughing.
"She only hurts the ones she likes." Trixie laughed. Gilda just blushed. The dogs were confused.
"So wait, is she leader now?"
"Nope, it's still me."
"But, she beat you."
"Yeah, but neither of us were trying. She kicks my ass in sparring all the time. Time for bow training!" And so, Grif set about teaching Gilda and the two diamond dogs archery. The dogs, being bipedal, were much better suited to it, although Gilda picked it up quickly, holding the arrow and string in her beak, then bringing her right arm forward to draw the bow instead of pulling her head back. Having such good eyesight meant she could hit targets at long range, while the dogs could not shoot as far, but could do so more often. Trixie practiced casting illusions on the dogs, making them fight each other, cower in fear, become peaceful, or walk into walls. They weren't too impressed with it, but they figured they'd have to put up with some crap being the newbies, and it was better than being a slave. For archery, several targets were painted on the various trees surrounding the camp. After exhausting their ammo supply, the griffin pair would retrieve the arrows, letting them try again. Finally, after gathering some bananas and other tropical fruits from the surrounding trees, (also much easier for the fliers) they had dinner and fell asleep in hammocks woven from jungle vines, the wanted posters showing who had claimed each.
Wanted Alive, Griffin Pirates, total bounty, 580 bits. Gilda the griffin, 200 bits, Trixie the unicorn, 120 bits, Griffin the griffin, 260 bits. Last known location, Equestria-Jungle border.