Hi. I'm Anonsi. The name is a mix of Anon & Anansi the Spider if you're wondering. I thought it was clever. I don't get out much.
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Based on Blaze’s original idea
Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic.
By: Anonsi (Who loves you, I guess)
In with the New
The Ford began moving with a lurch, as if it had not been activated in at least a week. As much as Twilight hated the pollution these things caused, she marveled at the concept. A machine that moved fast enough to make land travel a simple chore, and could carry a load far greater than any pony could. Applejack would no doubt love to have something like this.
Despite herself, Twilight couldn’t help but occasionally glance over at her human ‘partner’ every time he stopped the car to let pedestrians cross the street. She felt the need to converse with him. Even though she had just met him, she just wanted to talk. It could be about anything: the weather, why he carried weapons, what he thought of the mission they were on, or if he HAD killed more people than even she suspected. Anything would be preferably than sitting in silence.
“So Agent Hawk,” she started, “what do you think of this mission? Pretty exciting to be going so far west, right? I hear there are many interesting landmarks and natural wonders to visit!” Twilight smiled up at him and did her best to sound genuine in her excitement.
The sunglasses kept Twilight from reading his eyes for any expression or emotion, but he responded quickly, which led Twilight to believe he had been through this conversation in his mind many times before. “I would sincerely discourage hoping to get any excitement out of this little excursion. Now a days, out west, a little ‘excitement’ can get you killed. And quite frankly Ms. Sparkle, I am in no particular rush to get shot, stabbed, mauled, or eaten alive this week.” Hawk turned to face Twilight, “Not to dampen the mood or anything.”
Twilight looked disheartened, to say the least, and concluded that now was an excellent time to figure out what kind of man she was working with. If the west was as dangerous as they say, she’d at least make friends with her escort. “Sounds…rough out there, you think we’ll be safe enough with just you and me?” unable to hide a small tremble of fear in her voice.
Hawk smiled, picking up on the unsteady tone in her question, “Don’t worry, the train goes directly to Yellowstone, nonstop. It’ll take more than a few marauders and ill-tempered moose to cause us any trouble.” He again glanced at Twilight, “This’ll be over before you know it, and then you can get back to being an awkward shut in, working tirelessly to turn sheep into cattle.”
Twilight’s face darkened at the last comment. “What do you mean by that Agent Hawk?”
“Do you not like what we ponies are doing here Agent Hawk?” she continued, eyes scrutinizing his features.
“Far from it Ms. Sprinkle, I don’t think the human race has ever been so well off or as free as it is now.” His face and tone were deadpan.
“Then why haven’t you gone to be ponified?”
His smirk returned, “Because I like having these.” His thumbs started to twirl in circles.
Twilight, unconvinced, continued to probe, “That cannot be why you are staying in such a…” what was a nice way of putting it, “…rough state of existence.”
“Are you kidding? Check this out.” He took his hands off the wheel and meshed his fingers together, thumbs facing each other. They then began spinning in opposite directions. “Pretty neat huh?”
Unfortunately, Twilight was distracted from the amazing feat by a concern she was all too pleased to voice, “WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR HANDS OFF THE WHEEL!?” She put her front hooves on the dash board, gazing out the window as the car began to swerve.
“Hey are you watching? This was a rare talent when it was just us humans on the earth, and by now I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who can do it.”
Hawk sighed and put his hands on the wheel, taking back control of the vehicle and narrowly avoiding a small stack of empty trash cans. “No one appreciates my talents.”
Twilight decided it would be best to hold off on questions until they were out of the car, and spent the rest of the trip nose deep in her book. ‘Celestia preserve me, I’m under the protection of a maniac.’
They spent the rest of the trip in silence, Twilight only occasionally looking up from her book to make sure there were still driving on road. Eventually she put her book down and closed her eyes. ‘I wish Applejack or Rainbow Dash were here, I’d at least be able to have a laugh or two with them. Not to mention feel safer.’
“We’re here,” said Hawk gesturing out the front window. Twilight gazed on a structure that resembled a large, old, stone building that seemed more to fit as a palace than a simple train station. Hawk parked the car in front of the building’s steps. Twilight noted that no other cars were present.
Hawk reached behind him and grabbed his black duffel bag. Twilight, with a shimmer from her horn, did likewise with her own pack. As the two exited the car, the doors to the train station swung open, and a tanned man with smooth black hair and a well groomed moustache began walking towards them with a wide smile. He wore only black, but not in a way that seemed intimidating, but more stylish and loose. At his side hung what appeared to be a sword.
“Well, look who got here on time for once!” said the man, his accent was unlike anything Twilight had ever heard.
Hawk looked up, and frowned to an almost ridiculous degree, “Zorro,” Hawk said with exaggerated disdain, removing his sunglasses in a slow, dramatic motion.
Moments passed in silence before the two exploded into laughter and embraced into a hug. Twilight felt relieved that this ‘Zorro’ was evidently a friend. After more laughs, Zorro finally acknowledged the small unicorn, “Hola pequeña,” he gave her a swift and fluid bow, adding a small flourish with his hand to boot.
Twilight didn’t know what he said, but it sure sounded nice. “Hello…um…Mr. Zorro, my name is Twilight Sparkle.” She gave a small bow of her own.
“I know who you are Miss Twilight, I was briefed on the mission by the good Agent Hawk, but I enjoy hearing you say you name. You speak with such…grace. I am looking forward to working together with you, and listening to whatever other sounds may dance from your mouth.”
Twilight couldn’t help but blush. She had never thought humans could be charming.
“Neither man nor beast is safe from you…” Hawk said as he walked past them with his bag, eyes rolling in great arcs. He called back to them, “Don’t be too impressed with him Twilight, he’s dropped that line on at least fifty other girls. He’s sort of a one trick pony!” Hawk laughed deeply as he continued up the stairs.
Zorro merely grinned, and turned to follow. Twilight, after wiping away a dumb grin that had somehow gotten onto her face, she trotted after the two. About halfway up the stairs, she finally gathered the nerve to ask, “Are you coming with us Mr. Zorro? I was under the impression that the human government was only sending one of their Agents.”
Zorro had arrived at the door to the station and held it open for her. “The government is indeed only sending one agent, niña. I however am here on request of my old friend,” he paused to look at Agent Hawk, “I owe him that much.” Twilight moved through with an appreciative nod to Zorro for the small courtesy.
“Yeah, thanks for that by the way. But regardless Z, why are you carrying around that antique? I mean come on,” Hawk replied from inside the station.
Zorro looked hurt, “An antique? My poor, deluded friend,” he chided, “bullets are becoming more and more of a rarity than humans every passing day,” he looked to his hip, and then back to Hawk, “Fencing is making a comeback my friend. Soon it will be that revolver that is the ‘antique.’”
With a grunt, Hawk turned towards Twilight, “Come on Sprinkles, the train awaits, and from what I hear, she’s a beauty.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, “If you’re calling me that to be funny, I’ll have you know it lost its luster when I was in kinder garden.”
Zorro chuckled to himself as all three of them proceeded towards into the station. The building was empty save for the three of them, and the echoing of their footsteps left Twilight with a curious thought, ‘What was this place like in its prime? It seems like such a waste not to use it.’
They all passed through two large double doors, which opened up into a great hall, with two sets of tracks. On the one closest to them, a gleaming four sectioned train sat waiting. It was not at all like the ones in Equestria, far from them in fact. This train was sleek, smooth, and hovered a foot above the rails. Twilight’s eyes widened, and stood somewhat flabbergasted. “How is it floating? I thought humans didn’t have magic!” She stared at Hawk expecting some sort of explanation.
Hawk looked down to her, pride obviously fueling his grin. “Very true my erstwhile equine escort, we do not possess magic in the way you Equestians do, we use something I think is far more powerful. Science.” He paused to read her expression, which showed an obvious desire to debate the previous statement, but before she could Hawk continued, “The Magna Rail is suspended by a magnetic field that allows it to hover, as you can clearly see, but it can only do so above metal. So we will be limited to keeping it on the train tracks.”
“Is it fast?” inquired Twilight.
“Is cruising at two hundred and fifty miles per hour fast?”
Hawk looked down, “Yes Twilight. It’s fast. It’ll get us to Yellowstone in about eight hours.”
“Eight hours?! But according to my map, Yellowstone is in…,” Twilight took out her map of the United States and looked for the territory that she marked with an ‘X’, “Why-Om-ing, and the distance from there to here is nearly the length of Equestria twice over!”
“And that’s why we’re taking the Magna-Rail, which if my report read right, comes with a lounge, sleeping quarters, and a five star kitchen.”
“And something special for you my friend, that the President installed himself,” added Zorro.
Hawk looked like a foal on Hearths Warming Eve, but before he could ask what it was a young feminine voice shouted, “Look Mama! Humans!”
Twilight, Zorro, and Hawk each turned, and saw a family of four Earth Ponies, each standing with their mouths agape and eyes wide. Other than the mother, a yellow coated mare with a forest green mane with a blooming flower as her cutie mark, and the father, a brown stallion with green mane, with a single tree as his mark, were two fillies. The younger of which was cowering behind her father while the older seemed to be fidgeting with excitement.
The mother addressed Twilight first, “Hello there darlin’, you must be our escort!” Her smile was almost as infectious as Pinkie’s. “We are just honored to meet y’all!”
The older of the two fillies, a spry little thing with a yellow coat and unkempt brown mane and an open book for a cutie mark, pranced towards Hawk. “Woooooooooow! You’re so tall! I heard humans were tall, but wow!” she said, her face giddy with obvious excitement.
“Busy Bee!” the mother called, “Get back here young filly!” Twilight detected a small twinge of fear and panic in her voice. She understood though, considering all the rumors about the brutal and savage humans that were probably circling around the towns and cities of Equestria.
“But Mama, I wanna see if he has fangs like Scootaloo said they did!” pouted Busy Bee.
The mother gave the filly a glare that only mothers could. “Right now Bee.”
As she trotted back to her mother’s side, the father stepped forward, “Sorry ‘bout the youngin’, she follows gossip and rumors like a fish follows a river, but she means well enough,” said the stallion with a big smile, “. I’m Tall Leaf, and this here is the rest of the Garden family.”
“The missus,” he said gesturing towards his wife, “is Morning Dew, you’ve met Busy Bee, and this little darlin,” he looked at the meek looking filly behind him, “is Merry Gold. Come on and say hello to the nice unicorn honey.”
A meek little pony with a white coat and golden mane, but no cutie mark, stepped out from behind Tall Leaf. With a nervous glance towards the humans, Merry Gold trotted towards Twilight, “Hello Ma’am.” She quickly retreated back behind her father and looked out from between his legs.
Twilight giggled a little, ‘She is just adorable!’ she said to herself. “Well then Garden Family, welcome to the human lands, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and these two men,” she made sure not to use the ‘gentle’ prefix for honesty’s sake, “are Agent Hawk, and his friend Zorro.” Hawk gave a tip of his hat and Zorro did a small, respectful bow. “They will be our protection against any unforeseen complications.”
“Like cannibals? Scootaloo told me that humans sometimes eat each other when they can’t find anything else to chomp into!” Busy Bee exclaimed.
Merry Gold scrunched up her face in disgust, “Ewww! Bee that’s gross!”
“Busy Bee! That’s morbid!” cried the mother, dragging the filly next to her, as a similar look of disdain as Merry Gold’s crossed her face.
“Let’s hope we avoid such unpleasantries,” continued Twilight, who was also feeling a bit queasy after that last comment. ‘How did Scootaloo get THAT thought running through her head? Maybe I should tell AJ about this when I get back.’
“All right,” Hawk finally spoke, “Let’s get this circus on the train already. Zorro, if you could please show the horses to their stables I’ll go get the train ready to go.”
“Horses?” said Morning Dew raising an eyebrow. Turning her head towards Twilight she asked, “He does know we are ponies right? Not hor-“
“He knows,” interrupted Twilight, a cold stare watching Hawk enter the Magna Rail.
Zorro clapped his hands together and with a big friendly smile said, “Now, my little ponies, let us board the train, please watch your step.” His voice was calm and friendly, and the Garden family followed him in with Twilight bringing up the rear.
The entrance led directly into the lounge area, which seemed to have two halves. One housed an elegant arrangement of chairs and couches around a coffee table, with a luscious rug on the floor, what seemed to be a wooden wardrobe with marvelous carvings depicting the sun over a lion on the wall, and from the ceiling hung a wide-screen television. The other half had two long couches that went along the walls, and between them was another rug, which was more coarse than the other one.
Zorro pointed to a door at the end of the section saying, “The beds are through there my friends. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must make sure Hawk doesn’t harm any of the controls.” Zorro then went through the door at the head of the section, which he closed behind him. The ponies pushed through the door in the rear of the section, which read “Beds” over it. The sleeping cart had four alcoves on each wall, and each alcove had a bunk and a window, plus a little light bulb for late night reading.
Tall Leaf approached the closest bed, his eyes widening in amazement, “Mercy! Lookit the size of these beds! We could fit half the extended family in one of these!”
“Ooh!” cried Busy Bee, “Dibs on this one! C’mon Merry we can share this one!”
“Okay!” replied Merry Gold, who seemed much more at ease away from the human agents.
“You can share my bed handsome,” Morning Dew cooed to Tall Leaf.
A blissful smile appeared on his face, “Yes Ma’am!” The two fillies made grossed out faces, and then proceeded to suffer from a giggle fit.
Twilight picked out a bed for herself and began to organize it to her liking. Then she delicately climbed onto it, taking in its cave like atmosphere. The beds were soft, like the kind of soft Twilight always imagined cloud beds would feel. ‘Amazing how such savage beings can make something so comfy.’ Twilight’s sudden, and rather judgemental, thoughts surprised her, ‘Well that wasn’t a nice thing to say.’ She shook her head to clear her mind of such thoughts. She noticed the rest of the family was finished settling in, and were beginning to move into the lounge.
Following suit, Twilight entered the lounge section and found a spot on an equally comfy couch next to Morning Dew, who was admiring the furniture’s comfort as much as Twilight.
The door to the outside slid shut by itself with a hiss, and a green light above the door to the front of the train lit up.
“This is your captain speaking,” Hawk’s voice came, seemingly from nowhere, “I hope you’re ready, because here we go!” The train lurched forward.
“Hold on to your butts!” Busy Bee exclaimed, far more excited than any other pony present.
And with that, the Magna Rail shot out of the station at sixty miles per hour, and climbing.
Continue? Hell yeah!
When? Who knows?
Next chapter’s title?
Journey to the West.