Subtle as a brick, and twice as entertaining.
Private Investigator. In Spike's mind, no two words command more respect. Spike dreams of being a private eye, like the heroes in his stories, so when an actual case comes his way, the young dragon jumps at the chance to make his fantasies a reality.
It's just a shame that he has no idea what he's doing.
********
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SNAILS!!!
ALL OF MY YES!!!!
Pretty good so far
This looks great!
This... I like it. More!
3037162 I'm glad you're likin' it! Snails is indeed a baws.
3037163>>3037324 Thank ya kindly, I'll do my best not to disappoint!
3037471 Apple cider vinegar already exists, my friend. It's very acidic, and is usually used in cooking. I wouldn't drink it straight.
3038193 I'm glad you're enjoying it! More is on it's way.
3045342 Snails is best pony IMO.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121227020310/mlp/images/0/07/Snails_eating_carrots_S01E18.png
3045342
Yeah... thats what the bottle said.
The opening certainly got me hooked. Solid, clever writing and some good laughs. Further in, though, my enthusiasm went tepid when Twilight started pretending to be Spike's mother and Spike started acting like a seven-year-old rather than his typically mature self on the show ("a grown-up word" ...are you kidding?). The cast is also putting me off a little; Spike doesn't hang out with any of these kids. His closest friends are mares with jobs; that's who he gets along with. It's well-written and entertaining, but the inaccurate characterization puts me on the fence about following it.
3062198
Heya Swashbucklist!
First off, thank you for leaving your thoughts. I understand your concern with characterization; namely Spike and his seeming immaturity. I do my damndest to follow the established personalities of main characters, or, at the very least, give a decent explanation regarding their changes.
In truth, this story is something that I am writing merely to blow off some steam. I am playing Spike's (hell, everyone's) personalities for laughs, while attempting to not stray too far away from their established character. It's why Twilight is acting the way she is toward Spike (though not canon per se, it still made sense to me that the mare who raised him would act as family would; if not mother, than big sister. I have an idea about tweaking that, actually.) It's also why Spike isn't as rational and verbose as he is in the show; it just doesn't jive with the silliness I have planned for this story. The same goes for his partners, as the ponies he would normally hang out with wouldn't go along with his plans.
I do, however, agree with you on the "adult word" line. I'll have to do something about that.
This is really just situational comedy. I understand if it rubs you the wrong way, and I'm just glad you gave it a shot, my friend.
Thank you again for your kind words and criticism both, and I hope you'll stick around for another chapter. Cheers!
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Damn dude, I'm happy to see this updated!
This updated?
More brilliance. Looking forward to seeing more.
Sweet. The prose for this fic is very slick, as is appropriate for a detective story. Spike's examination of the lock's components is also pretty cool; shows he's a smart kid (and not just smart by comparison
).
As is everyone else, (all two of them!) I was quite stoked to see this updated. It's a very fun, well-crafted piece of work.
4234954 Haha, it took me long enough! Glad you're enjoying it.
4235641 I dunno if I'd say "brilliance," but I'm happy you like what you're seeing so far.
4237519 Thanks, man! The lock bit actually came from my editor, who is far more badass than I could ever be. The McFang bits are ridiculously fun to write. Glad you gave this story a second shot, man. Cheers!
Dammit, this story just makes me smile whenever I read it.