Twilight is a princess, and traveling the land to meet ponies far and wide; an excellent opportunity to make more friends. So why is she so unhappy?
Chapters (1)
Karrakaz
Joined 11th Nov, 2011 ·
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3006331
I know! madness!
3006340
Glad you liked it.
Twilestia is bestia... that's all I have to say.
also, great story.
If they were to pair them in the show, this is how I would want it to be done. Very good work.
3006396>>3006426
Thanks a bunch
So. Fricken. Adorable! I liked it. Cover art was adorable as well.
Karrakaz, this is a great piece of short fiction! The pacing was wonderful, your characterization of Twilight--her insecurities, her thought process, her actions--were spot on and I really believed that both ponies had been nurturing these feelings for a very long time. It makes me want to learn more about this relationship. What will they do for the rest of their tour? Will they make their relationship public? Will they try and hide it? How will Twilight tell her friends? Will Twilight return to Ponyville or go to the castle? What are the long-term ramifications for this relationship?
Please, expand on this idea! I'd love to read more of your work! Congrats, you've gotten yourself a fave and a follower!
3006720
This story is complete. I might write an epilogue if I get an idea for it, but don't hold your breath.
(Incidentally, I have a few other ideas for Twilestia, which I'll probably write when I can
)
3006801
A whooooole bunch of feels here, but not just thrown at us; they were specifically plucked and groomed for the best effect. Great story here. Well done.
ALL ABOARD!!!
Wow, that was a really great story. I like the way you depicted Twilight's inner conflicts, and the point where she finally felt certain and dove in for Celestia.
Awww that was cute
Nice job on the lead up to the kiss.
... I can't help it. I HAVE TO SAY IT. FORGIVE ME!
...
*Reads the first sentence*
OH HELL NO!
Congrats on getting this featured.
this seems sweet. I'll give it a shot.
"I love my puppy. She's so young and full of life. And she will die before I do."
But whatever, you can ship it like the merchant navy. There's nothing wrong with the story, other than it being a bit creepy to me.
Really, really lovely. Went into good detail, though it took it's time with the introspection. I'd love to see more takes on the pairing from you, but I challenge you to explore it through character action!
All the best.
3008263
Means a lot coming from you. I'm most certainly going to try more stories about them. This story was a test, trying to prove to myself that I can, in fact, write.
3008278
With five stories under your belt, the time for tests is long since passed -- experiment~!
3008161
Twilight may or may not be immortal, now, but I see where you're coming from. Odd assumptions can be made about a mare that falls in love with a mare she pretty much raised, but hay- Shipping is Shipping.
On to the topic at hand, though. The story is delightfully well-written, and Twilight's crippling self-doubt and innate paranoia are definitely displayed properly. So much so that Twilight made me nervous, with all her antics. I got a little worried toward the end, when it seemed like their first romantic encounter- literally, just a few minutes after they admitted to their feelings- was going to end with smut, but you acquitted yourself well
Well done, friend. If all your work is of this quality, I may have ta' keep an eye on you.
Instant +1 for choice of cover pic. (and having a summary that's to the point without being either banal or overdramatic)
..
and.. wow. fav'd and watched for a perfect characterization of Twilight, and a gripping narration.
Yay, someone who agrees with my headcanon regarding what Twilight's special talent really is!
A really good story, though perhaps in need of an editing run. You just had a few mistakes here and there.
But as I said, really very good; they were both wonderfully in-character and it was gloriously fluffy without ending in smut, which I appreciated.
Thanks for the ship! :D
3009069
If you found any, could you please send me a PM? I've gone over this story quite a few times but I'm always gonna miss some mistakes.
3007854
exactly how in the sane hell do you not like trains
asdf i like trains
Me, when Celestia told Twilight she loved her :
*Epic crowd praising and going wild* YES!!!!!! SHE DID IT WHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!!!!!!
Twilight, when Celestia told her she loved her :
*mind shattering* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!???????????????????
Very nicely done. Great detail, and powerful writing.
Minor typo:
As opposed to raw feathers?
very well written and it is pretty good
3009450 Wut? I like trains. Twilight dosen't. That's the whole point of the comment.
These are the kind of stories that drag me into looking into more stories for a ship I generally avoid. These are the kind of stories that I use in an argument when talking about the validity of a ship. These a re the stories that I use to drag people into a ship fandom. These are the kind of stories that prove that not all fanfiction is horrid. These are the stories that give fanfiction a good name. Bravo sir, bravo.
3009492
Fixed, thanks for the catch.
3010161
This made me blush... is that a bad thing?
3010639
*puts on my best creepy face* that depends
Well, i could think up a well written and helpful critique. but i can't, there's ntohing i could have done better; so i shall simply say.
That.... was fucking magnificent
3009090
Sure, I'll see if I can reread today.
I was on my phone last night, so it wasn't exactly the ideal atmosphere
Absolutely beautiful story
Why did this make me cry? I cried before Celestia showed her love so I cried before the beautiful part. I then cried harder at the "Awwwww..." part. This was such a cute story. The only thing that bothered me was that Twilight thought Celestia was motherly and the same for Celestia herself. I would want to call someone I loved that way my mother. This was still awesome.
that story was so sweet it gave me diabetes and 10 new cavities.
or maybe that was just the cake I took from the royal kitchen (I only had one slice I swear).
You sir did a excellent job. this is the most awesome fic about twilestia I have read.
You get a
The best part of this in my opinion, besides the actual plot of the story, was your idea of Twilight's special talent. I was wondering if I could use it in my stories if I gave you credit for the idea. So, may I?
3012094
Of course, by all means.
3012153
Thank you very much.
Now if I my editor would just read the story.... Thank you for the permission though.
This story is so sweet.
I don't care how, but there needs to be more of this. I don't even slightly care if there's no clop involved. This is the kind of writing that keeps me around this site.
Never enuff Twilestia. Evar.
With a whaaaaaaat?
3012962
Damn you Google Docs!
Fixed, thanks for the catch.
3008161 One: despite one of them being long lived, both are ponies. Two: if Celestia can only fall in love with another immortal your choices are Discordia, Princesst, or Sombrestia.
I can certainly understand if the idea of an immortal goddess and a mortal pony clicks your squick button, but really, think of the implications before you condemn the world to a rule of chaos or darkness. Though I guess Princesst won't hurt anything.
3013095
Or take a fourth option. Don't Ship The Big C. Even if twilestia is cute, it's so damn problematic.
loved it, bravo dude, bravo.
will defiantly be reading more from you.
Did we really have to downvote this to oblivion?
3008161
Yes, it's creepy - or at least awkward. Yes, Twilight is a mere mortal who will age and die whilst Celestia remains eternally young. I kind of wish more fics would delve into that rather than airbrushing over it.
I like this story, but it's really only the prologue. I'd love to read the rest of it.