Mentor and student, that's how things have always been between Twilight and Celestia. It was the status quo for them but now things have changed. Life has moved on and their is no room for that relationship anymore, so what should they do.
Art work credit goes WillisNinety-Six on Deviant art. You can see more of his work on his page at http://willisninety-six.deviantart.com/
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It has potential, but the most important thing of a romance is seeing the interaction between the two characters that really matter, which you decided not to go into for some reason.
Overal, a good story. Keep it up.
Glad to see it released at last.
Still as excellent as I recall it.
I'm glad the reception seems well for you.
Excellent work, dear Author.
EDIT:
No offense intended, dear, but I would appreciate a small mention.EDIT2: Thank you ever so much.
I laughed so hard at the final scene!
2974382 you've already seen their interactions in the show, this takes on that to show that they have fallen for each other. I'm glad you liked it, even though it wasn't what you were expecting
There are some semicolon p;acement issues, and this Celestia seems a bit dim.
2978685 throwing my editor under the bus for semicolons as for dim celestia, it's less dim more denial but then most ponies are dim when it comes to love.
2978688
Attempting to play her off as an ancient goddess with inherent wisdom while making her too slow on the uptake to realize it about herself seems a bit jarring. I'm not sure where, if at all, that dissonance is reconciled.
2978688
Hey!
I'm not the one who selected a poetic style!
2978694 furthermore, the advice and wisdom given to her is given to her by an OC with no discernible flaws. This weakness aside, I liked it. Considering expanding.
I really like emerald.
Emerald is wise to the ways of the mind, and love. He study under Cadence or something?
That final scene.
Despite you playing much of it for laughs, Celestia's scene here turned out beautifully.
Odd but satisfying to see Twilight as the one who figures it out herself with Rarity mostly oblivious, while Celestia takes so long to come to terms to the idea.
3009280
Thank you
, glad you appreciated it *glares down at Clockwork's comment* unlike some other, more critical people out there. I did appreciate his input though, I knew not everyone would appreciate the idea of an ageless demigod being dense on love.
3009782
Honestly, it didn't feel like Celestia being dense on love; it felt like her in complete denial that she was in love. Twilight grew up with her, and Celestia had years to rationalize her feelings as something else; she won't have an epiphany about it in three sentences. I've seen stories that very believably make that realization take days; one conversation doesn't seem even remotely excessive.
3009866
Exactly what I was aiming for, hence all that philosophical drivel that took me a week to iron out without sounding to overly creepy
3009877
Don't worry, it came across as just the right amount of creepy.
2978694
Okay, couldn't contain myself any longer.
If you haven't noticed, Twilight Sparkle is a genius prodigy who masters the very concept of magic; learning a spell merely by observing it and casting it without fail. She is a pony who will be able to use learnt knowledge in a manner of seconds and do so with a quality to her spell unheard of since the time of Starswirl the Bearded. She levitated an Ursa Minor over several miles whilst playing music with the grass and filling a water tower with milk which she also levitated. She can make complex mathematical solutions within two seconds, and can naturally be able to present technical facts about practically every branch of science.
...yet she still manages to think her mentor would send her back to magic kindergarten for not be punctual with a letter of her lessons in friendship—letters which should only be sent if a disastrous event has occurred and been taken care of. She falls so much into despair that she causes more mayhem in Ponyville than the Ursa Minor attack itself.
...neither was she able to realize that Cadence could have been replaced, something which is strange given their relationship.
And don't let me get started on canon Celestia. There's a reason Nightmare Moon came into existence; because Celestia was incompetent enough as to not save Luna from herself before she fell into despair.
That story Twilight is reading is in most likelihood an abridged and very much edited anecdote of the events that transpired a millennium ago. Theories depicting the events include a gathering of corrupt noble families who pressed her into snapping, Celestia being submissive towards those very noble families, Luna getting heartbroken by negligence and Celestia allowing ponies to harass and persecute her.
Celestia has made more errors. She has to.
Discord obviously knows Celestia. Who's to say Celestia didn't hurt Discord into submitting to his own whimsical chaos? Remember the line "I've forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia." He's not just telling her she's a killjoy; there's more to it than that.
And finally, she failed to inform Twilight that she did not need a letter every week. She should have known that Twilight would have acted like this, given her Obsessive Compulsive, erratic and most unstable mindsetting.
Being ancient does not mean you don't make mistakes, if the Doctor is any indication.
...and no, Kutkh's portrayal is little different than canon Celestia.
Over to the matter of denial; yes, you can be quite unable to see someone in the way you truly feel if you subconsciously deny yourself from realizing that you love them. It's a defense mechanism after all.
You can delude yourself into many things. That you like getting impaled or dreading sweets or enjoy killing.
...pheeeeeeeeew; that was a reply.
I'm usually not this loquacious unless I'm discussing existence or the mind with an equally as loquacious individual.
3023441
I'm not sure where you got the impression that containing yourself was necessary.
As a whole, yes, your point is entirely valid. I don't feel that the story evoked such consideration, instead relying on reader knowledge bringing them to the same conclusion you drew.
Not by any means invalid, but certainly not the ONLY conclusion one could reach. The story's job is to sell that viewpoint, and I don't feel this did so.
3023597
I wasn't certain what kind of person you were. Thank you for not justifying my paranoia by being respectful, by the way.
Well, it is a oneshot. It becomes extremely redundant if you add in all the knowledge. That is usually done in on-going fiction.
Quite honestly, I think it depends on your perspective.
Still, it's not a crime to think that more could be done.
Perfection is a dish best served with experience and eternity.
Have a nice whatever-the-time-of-the-day.
Hrmm... this story is quite old. Which means I'm really freaking late.
All I wanted to say is... that ending.
5388599 That ending needs a animation done in its honor
5812188 I would love to get an animation of this ending
i like it for the most part but there is a chunk in the middle that seems to repeat 3 or 4 times that irked me a bit.