A great evil has awoken in Equestria and not even the Elements of Harmony are a match for what is to come. Eragon will learn secrets that has long been forgotten and some new friends will be made along the way.
Can the Dragon Rider stand up to the evil that threatens to cover all of Equestria in darkness?
Editor: SoniContinuum
Grammar Nazi: Mythic Spell
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i hope you like it, as i said i have a hard time writing but i tried my best and that's all i can do. i will but up more when i think of it.
till then please post if you have any ideas of something i should put into the next chapter
thanks everyponie!!
2959811
I think you might have spelled the name wrong in the story name.
2969168 Alagaesia? coppied from the book the only difference is thrtr are 2 .. over the e
I could really use a proof reader or two. i know that i am bad with spelling and grammar so if anyponie is up to it please message me and i will send you what i got when i have the next part made!!
you did good and their dialog is like it was in the show also remember how Eragon's magic works please continue
2969492 when you say to remember how eragons magic works, do you have a specific something in the story that is off? if so please tell me! i will fix it as soon as i can.
i will say that with Eragon i did not like to movie, they changed way to much, so i am trying to base everything on the book for him and Saphira
i will freely tell you, i did not expect much. i wrote this in about an hour or so and made only small changes to it. so if anyponie
out there thinks i am off with something please tell me and i will try to make it better!
i noticed that someponie gave me a thubs down....
if there was something that i can do to fix what you did not like please tell me
2969168 ok i added the ë. thanks for pointing it out.
let me know if there is anything else i can do to make your like this story better. i will base my next chapter on what is posted in the comments. adventure or just trying to fit in and making a new home
Not bad. A little fast paced and minor grammatically issues, but not bad.
Always liked Eragon/Equestia idea, so I'll follow it.
2970658 thanks
any thought on how you would like it to proceed? so far i have only seen 2 others on eragon and one quit. i want to make a good story that ppl can enjoy so i want the ppls input
2970658
thanks!!
any ideas on how you would like to see this story go? i want to make a story that everypony likes so i would love some input
2970685 may-haps a study session w/ Twi, possibly learning some new magics. Or some d'aww can always be obtained w/ some special guests.
2970734
any special guest in mind? and i have been thinking of magic teaching and training. i will not say more i do not want to spoil it for anypony.
but there will be magic and i think that what i have in mind will be quite a big twist.
but if you have a thought of who to add or what not. remember if all goes well i might make a follow up story. even if things go wrong though, i will at least finish this story, Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!
2970784 A certain trio of boisterous fillies creeps to mind. Always a soft spot for young ones.
2970796 apple bloom, sweetie belle and scootaloo? i had not thought about it yet. i am not sure when i can put them in then i will will find a way to do it maybe not the next chapter other than maybe a reference...
2970838 Saphira as a jungle gym, just try not to d'aww at that thought!
The ferocious dragon reduced to a child's playground.
2970860
how did you read my mind!!!
2970860 Saphira is ferocious but is still sweet at heart
Oh God, the errors...
2977885 is this before or after we revised it? if after then please message me and let me know what you are talking about. my grammar has always been bad and i am dyslexic. i have just got 2 ppl to be proofreaders for me and we have tried to fix it. it there is still problems then please message me about them thanks
Still a tad fast paced, but grammatically MUCH better.
2980579 thanks and i plan to slow it down some. i noticed it was a bit fast myself and so want to fix it. I think that i will take a little longer on the next chapter when i start it and try to slow down the pace a bit...
i assume that there is not enough detail of the surroundings right?
i will do my best to get better and better as i work on this and my next story. i have 2 more ideas for stories
but i want to finish this first before i distract myself on other stories that will just turn out as train wreaks 
just because i cannot devote time more than one story at a time.
don't get me wrong, i still jot down my ideas but i just use an unpublished chapter to keep track of them.
please come to me with any advice that any of you have that will help my writing! thanks everypony!!
2980776 A little more detail on both events and surroundings would help. Easier to immerse the reader in your world if they are able to build a better mental picture.
2981545okay i will work on that thanks
Ok, it's better now, especially the later parts of the chapter, but There are a few errors. In the first paragraph, there are two periods, one after another, and "adurna" isn't capitalized (it's the beginning word in a sentence).
I am awed. Your story is far superior to my own! I wonder...should I continue my story if there are others that are better?
3098350yes!!!! i love your story as well!!!!!
it was your story that inspired me to try mine! if you don't want to continue your story then i am willing to let you be part of mine. i like having a team to write with! so far there are only a few of us but the 2 rewrites were just me and one other person. message me when you get the chance and we can talk more about that.
3098350also i know its not everything but you have something like 188 likes on your story so far and i only have 13
What the... the second half of the chapter is all bold!
3128774oops i guess i missed that. sorry i am writing it in google doc and have to type the bold and italic code in myself. i will fix it.
3128774well I think that fixed it. i hope
do you like the rewrite?
i hope so
3130254
Yes, thank you.
Despite a few basic fanfiction pitfalls I can feel how much care you and your proofreaders have put into crafting this tale. Something I can definitely appreciate and respect. Looking forward to more interesting adventures.
3165980could you tell me what pitfalls you are talking about?? i really want to try my best to keep my story as best as i can! so any help is always welcome.
3166066
Nothing selective to you.
Just basic entertainment media and general fanfic problems like Twi coincidentally reading about ancient races right before one shows up, extreme ease of social interaction between complete strangers of different species, a severe psychological phobia being easily overcome to advance the plot rather than characterization, Celestia not having any contingencies for diplomatically accepting a dragon...
Not flaws with your story specifically but more some of the sillier tropes that affect fics.
3166240I have also noticed alot of those. but i do not know how else i could put it. i would love to have you on board as a helper if you have any ideas on how to fix this. message me if you would like to.
3166257
I may take you up on that at some point but my will to proofread has been in great decline lately.
3166278no looking for you to proofread... i want you to join me and my co-writer on my google doc and help us write it.
3166329
Well that's no easier than proofing. ;P
Well honestly in my proofing I also do a lot of brainstorming and story/scene development. I'll let you know if I am able to get out of my current slump.
3166376okay well i hope you do come around. we just took about 14 days off or so and we are just getting back to the next chapter.
Where are the elves?
3211825the ones that left with Eragon? they died i guess. or stayed behind somewhere else. idk i did not really think about them.
3212280
3213092?? what? you want some to be added?
3213476
that tells me nothing.....
Hmm, not sure what to think so far. It's interesting to say the least, I will continue reading!
-yes, and if this, Eragon, hurts our pony friends I will tear out his spine and feed it to his dragon before blowing her to bits!-
Dache, just no. We can't interfer with set events. Remember what the doctor told us.
3457888
it has been a while and though i have the next chapter written me and my editor are working on another story that i started to write. but i will talk with him so we can get the next chapter out as soon as possible because i hate when i get into a story i am reading and the writer stops.
was that a comment that someone put? or did i just forget something i wrote.... i do have to say i am sorry for taking so long though.
please post comments about things you all would like in my story and i will see if they fit because i get stuck alot. there is no bad idea just post it and i will think about it. can't wait to hear from you all!
damn, this chapter ended too quickly for my liking. Ah well,that goes to show when you like something, You'll end up at it's end quicker than usual.
Great so far, I look forward to the next part!