After an ill-conceived stunt by Princess Celestia goes horribly wrong, and Twilight truly realises the ramifications of her recent apotheosis to Goddess-hood, she goes for the only thing in her life that's ever given her relief – the bottle. But when she finds out that the divine are unaffected by mere mortal liquor, she must track down and brew the booze of the immortals themselves; The Ninety-nine Nectars of Princess Luna.
Pre-reading and editing by Luna-tic Scientist
Cover art shamelessly stolen from wikipedia and crudely edited in Paint
"I don't know what NoeCarrier is on but he needs to stay on it." - herdlesspony, Reddit.
"The whole thing is quite bizzare (sic), really." - Pharohman777, spacebattles.com.
Chapters (37)
Love the title reference.
2947061
Thanks! It does actually have several scenes wherein uranium is extracted for various purposes.
I'm sorry if I sound dirty, but the first title sounds sexual to me. I'm hoping to read it when I have time, but that caught me off guard.
2947624
Sexual? How so?
What a delightful story.
Celestia... I hate you. Luna you are rather clever in how you deal with your petitioners. Twilight you seem to be stuck as the butt of Celestia's plans... again.
2947638
I'm glad you liked it!
2947628 "The Ninety-Nine Nectars of Princess Luna...
I don't mean to offend, just sharing my opinion.
2947678
Oh, I'm not offended, just wondering why it sounded sexual to you.
2947101 I know the title's a reference to something (I've seen some other fic with a similar title), but what exactly is it a reference to?
2947728
Doctor Strangelove. It's a great black comedy flick.
2947793 Thanks, I'd been wondering about that!
Thank Celestia I was reading this on the computer where I could just double-click a word that I didn't recognize. And oh boy there were a few
2952184
I find it's always good to learn new things. Did you think it was perhaps a bit too wordy or dense? What words in particular didn't you know the meaning of?
2952321 More or less stuff relating to the minerals. And trying to make too much sense of some of the names
2952369
Google Translate has a handy latin translator that can help. I use it to invent new names for the Goddesses.
Well this is different, Twilight discovers she's immortal and to cope is through being drunk on illegal alcohol.... Ninety-nine different drinks and here she is attempting to make one with such unusual ingredients, not sure I want to think of how or what goes into the other ninety-eight. A nice start to an interesting story and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
I think your word count is the only reason this isn't featured. Also I have no idea what is happening. And Ilove it .
2955711
I'm glad you're enjoying it! The next part is already well underway and will undoubtedly land soon. As for being featured - I'd rather there be a bit more substance to the plot before that kind of exposure happens.
2954348
Thank you for the kind words - thrilled you're enjoying it so far. More soon - the next part is well underway.
Well....
Crap.
Anything that requires weapons grade uranium can't be healthy.
2959725
It certainly can't - the Nectars are bad news for everypony.
Your vocabulary is like heroin to me.
2970252
I'm glad you enjoy my words!
Still quite confused over where this is going and just what Celestia's plan is though I think it's because she has too many of them. Also I liked how Emboss refers to Celestia as a "benevolent sociopath", which in a way does fit.
2982487
All her plans will be revealed in good time! I hope I can keep people guessing as to the true motives of her cunning schemes (beyond wanting to scratch a millennial itch) until they actually happening. We shall see.
I've always thought of Celestia as a benevolent sociopath that everyone just thinks is inherently morally good. She isn't.
2982522
Celestia as the benevolent sociopath is not one I usually see nor is it described as such but I do agree that she is not as morally upstanding as she appears to be especially with all her trickery.
2982766
Aye, that's why it has the AU tag. In the show Celestia IS actually a paragon of inherent moral goodness, whereas here she just goes to great lengths to appear that way.
Well Emboss is at least half right. Celestia is a sociopath and I think even canon wise that is somewhat an easy conclusion to make. Oh dear, Luna I hope you can get the other elements back on board to help with this problem. Letting old Dio into Equestria is just asking for problems.
2985380
I think you can draw all sorts of different conclusions on Celestia's state of mind and alignment from the show. I've just always thought of her as a benevolent sociopath and decided to put that in the story.
Dionysus is coming - and neither he or Celestia will be denied!
Lets hope indeed that the magic of friendship can win out.
2985416
I'll admit I do have a question. Was both of those alterations Emboss did for Cadence or was the first one placing Twilight with her family? I got kind of confused by that portion of the story.
2985445
The first is placing Twilight with her family - in this universe they're not her biological parents. The second is to do with Cadence and her not-so-royal roots being disguised so Celestia had someone to take control of the Crystal Empire.
If she'd attempted to do so herself, the international situation would have deteriorated as it would have been seen as imperialism. By contriving a 'legitimate' heir to the kingdom that she could control, she ensured the Empire situation would be dealt with satisfactorily.
2985517
Ah, thought so. I just wanted to make sure I was reading it correctly or if I had somehow gotten lost. Thanks for clearing that up.
Lovely story so far. There aren't too many depictions of the Princesses as beyond-ancient omnipotent beings, more akin to the likes of Nyarlothotep or Azathoth than the average pony. (I'm being slightly hyperbolic.)
This is certainly the first story I've read with a drink so powerful that even the mere intent to brew can put an entire city into a drunken stupor. So points for that.
This line should be rephrased. Celestia's the one asking favors, so she's in debt to Emboss, not the other way around.
2985416
Na im hoping it escalates to the point where it put the nightmare moon incident to shame (if i understood correctly then nightmare moon was only luna drunk on the nectars....and twilight is brewing her batch)
It then end with twilight in the sun celestia on the moon and then you make a sequel when they come back
2986263
Thank you for the comment! I too hadn't seen many depictions of the sisters as actual Goddesses either - I was going for something of a bit of a benevolent lovecraftian feel so I'm glad that came through.
Totally didn't notice that error - doh! Thanks for pointing it out, will correct it.
2986801
It certainly will escalate - but maybe the Thiasus is a good thing for everypony concerned? Even Goddesses have needs, after all...
2988721
yeah but if you party hard (wich thiasus probably is) you sometimes wake up at strange locations with no memory what happened.^^
2989364
I think that may rather be the point. The Thiasus is a party of the Gods, after all. What else would be attracted by the brewing of the best divine booze in all existence?
The first fic, or welp really any kind of story, in years which made me break out a dictionary.
Made me read the entire first chapter, and usually I despise black humor with my little colourfull equines. xD
3027935
I'm glad you're enjoying it! The funnies are a little black around the edges but it's all for a good cause, and like any Greek comedy, starts off in a house of troubles but ends well.
I have to say, I enjoy the writing style, but the idea of a casually sociopathic Celestia who plays with peoples' lives and lets her kingdom fall for a party is more than a little off-putting.
I liked it till you got to the Celestia bashing
3028288
It's not so casual, I think, and by no means just a party. Although it seems that Celestia has a choice in the matter, that's very much not the case. We've only seen it from one angle so far.
and in all bad too
maybe even more in the bad ones
hey at least they ask no questions
3063150
Hey, it's a quality magazine. I read it for the articles.
3064950
And you read the Guide to the Galaxy for the subtle shoe jokes.
3066112
The puns will last forever!
:nightmaremoon:
Well this is fairly hilarious so far. And this bit right here:
Is a fascinating idea. Makes me wonder what Cadance and Twilight showing up did to the world.
Fascinating holds true for quite a lot of the world building. Luna's court, for example, and Celestia's attitude towards her religious songs is just great.
And holy crap, the moon.
Well now, Queen of Plots indeed.