I die and then my soul goes to Equestria. DEATH stalks the multiverse looking for me. Fun happens in the parallel universes that DEATH wanders through. In the meantime, I have to work my way through Equestrian life. I promise not to make it boring. As this is my first anthro fic and my first HIE fic, give me some time and a little bit of guidance. I hope that you can all sit back and enjoy the fic.
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Ok nice story has potential but slow down on the physical contact and emotional stuff. Granted that someone you're talking to just died is some heavy stuff but crying over it and resting on his shoulder is damned quick change from 'i don't really trust you to comfort me'. The kiss on the forehead was also to early, just glad its not as bad as other fics were there making out in the first chapter. Other then that no spelling or grammar errors that i saw.
Edit: Forgot to mention but the quick explanation of how he knows them is fine, although where he explains it is abit off putting since he just got done free falling after waking up from dying. Also find it odd how chill they are with it. Personally I would be alil disturbed to find out that some of my life along with my friends lives have been viewed by beings previously unknown to me.
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Thanks. I am actually writing the next chapter right now. If you want to read it, stick around for half an hour or so. I am toning down on the physical/emotional contact for a while. But if someone had just fallen out of the sky and then told you that they were the soul of someone who had just died in an alternate reality. I think that the tears were justified, The kiss on the forehead though was just to calm them down. It's the kind of sympathetic love I might actually give in that situation.
2938589 I can see that cause in all honesty i can't imagine what the emotional toll would be upon hearing such a thing. All i am saying is it feels abit rushed nothing crazy mind you just that you might have made two chapters out of this one with some more detail here and there. I will stick around for the next chapter cause lets face it, I am a HiE nut and big Anthro supporter.
This chapter was much better in pacing and overall overall-ness....I know that makes no since but I am to tired to think so ya. Good job, looking forward to more of your work.
Ok this is funny I demand moarz
when you say pairings only two ponies come into my mind for josh. spitfire and rd. lyra i can tell already might like him so that might equal three. just a suggestion on my end though
very good story so far.
Hmmmmm, romance with Luna. I approve!
moar soon please
Awesome job man. Can't wait to see how this plays out. Gotta say though, I was a little worried about how this story would go, being human and all. Not anymore, I can see that this will. Be a story to follow till the end. And I like the death part at the end of every chapter, it seems to be taking a lot of the randomness out of the actual story and putting it in one spot.
I'd say either a pairing of Luna or Octavia
(prefer Luna but would still like to see Octavia)
When did luna learn how to enter someones mind while they are awake?
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It's magic. It is easier to enter a mind while the person/pony is asleep, but it isn't like they lose the ability during the day time. A mind is a mind. She didn't actually enter my mind. You can't enter an awake mind, but you can touch it, feel the thoughts, emotions and memories. It's something that I attribute to Celestia too.
when can i see another chapter and when is bon bon gonna show up in the story
I believe that it might be the next chapter
someone bet me that I couldn't write a legitimate romantic relationship between Luna and myself within three chapters without using complete bullshit.
REALLLLLLLLY?
i bet you a quarter of a penny that you cant do that
2973746
I have a pretty good start going here don't I
2976125>>2976125yeah its pretty good so far
hey BroniesRPonies2 when you gonna finish next chapter
2991267
Sadly, I am at a camp, replying to comments on my phone right now. I will probably have the next chapter up in 2-3 days.
2991599 ok thats cool
is there going to be a sequel?
that is not a good reason to like someone..........
I call BS
the most wonderful of chapters
there was BS i win
3015423
Fair enough to your first comment. It is really hard to explain a mindset, but you would know it if you had or saw it. Basically, these people are nice to virtually everyone. I met one person who wanted to be a social worker and another who wanted to help with counselling. All people like this want to do is help. It is something that I find beautiful. The real question is, how would someone who could see into the mind, see how it worked as opposed to other minds or see the intentions and the trauma react to the view of such a mind. Imprinting is a real thing in many animals, I believe that it does happen to some people and it has been a premise for several books. To name a series that features it prominently, there is Anne McAffrey's Pern series. I can't name any more from the top of my head. Mostly, it is based on sight, but there is something about a high empathy mind that features prominently in the fiction. It is always to do with a mildly psychic animal as well, such as Princess Luna. Basically, it is speculation and fairly unlikely, but still a feasible outcome.
Also, I don't know, that scene with the Aurora...
:{
I think that it makes up for it.
As to your second comment... Thanks!
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I was thinking of writing one. I am free to live here almost for eternity as I am still a disembodied soul (Technically) and can therefore live forever. I was thinking of writing a fic where I am a diplomat to the Gryphon kingdom. DEATH will be in any fic that I make in this multiverse. He will be wandering around the void, sightseeing. I can see a future in that.
3015969 well hes gonna have a sad life...........
alicorns can still die from age they just age alot slower
death is so in trouble 2 days worth of souls to pick up
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There is magic that can help.
3017433 SERIOUSLY MAGIC?!??!?!
SOON MAGIC IS GONNA BE ABLE TO BRING THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE DAMMIT
3018017 not to help with death. It can help Luna to live forever.
Everytime you bring up DEATH, all I can picture is grimm from the grim adventures of billy and Mandy, and it made this so much funnier than it already was.
On a more serious note, I liked the story until the end, it was way to abrupt. It felt like you just wanted to end it, so you figured out how. It really made the story feel incomplete, and maybe that was intended. However, I am sad to se this done, it was a very good story and an entertaining read. Kudos to you, I doubt I could write something half this good
3026294
Well...thanks. That means a lot to me. I ended it there because everything that I do in this series is going to stand up as a story. This basically serves as a "How I Got To Equestria" fic. More stories to follow. I don't know how long they will be, but they will exist.
Maybe you should make a sequel...... food for thought.
3048873
Sequel to be up in less than a day.
3049052 what will or is it called...
3060063
The Trouble with Gryphons
someone tried to kill you? well good luck with that one
this is a little creepy.... i basicily had the same idea in my head,AND i prefer milk over all else :D so yes a bit of a coincidence but yeasss
Asda is nothing compared to our glorius IKEA
I laugh so hard when death spoke. Keep up the good work.
War of the worlds... I love that book❗ nice reference there.
DAT DEATH IS A SPY
At first I thought this said shipping
That universe should create life first THEN DEATH