Saddlesoap Opera is a Canadian Brony who loves to write and read fiction of nearly all kinds.
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After a fire in the Everfree Forest severely damages Zecora's home, the Cutie Mark Crusaders vow to bring the Pony responsible to justice.
An entry for the February Write Off competition.
UPDATE: Edited with fixes and some slight scene changes Mar. 12.
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This is the first one I've read.
If they're all this good, this is going to be a competition indeed.
I really really liked this, thumbs up!
Muy bueno! Me gusta tu fanfic!
I about collapsed laughing at the Mountain Lion explanation. And poor Hickory.
The tone really bounces a couple of times, but despite the inconsistency I very much liked the fic.
This was excellent! Very tidy. I'm glad I took the time to read a few more before the deadline.
A couple things. Twilight's dialogue in the middle, when she's... Tired? I forget. It's very hard to read, and her entire presence there serves no purpose. Also, I really felt like this was more a comedy than anything. You could definitely do something to flesh out the ending a bit more, too, but it's still very satisfying. Also...
Five paper routes!
MOUNTAIN
LIONS
I am using mountain lions forever and ever because of this story.
Small wonder this one made it to Equestria Daily--nice job!
Huh, interesting. I just got here from EQD.
Great story, Zecora's singing made me B'awwww
Do the words she used in the fic actually mean anything or did you just make them up?
Hmm... I don't I like this; there are several sad/dramatic scenes but the emotion doesn't come across, there are several comedic scenes but they seem out of place and not really funny, a slice of life story isn't supposed to have any major events like a fire that burns down someone's home... so, to me, it seemed like you were going for a "dramedy" but it just didn't work out.
352424
Not made up at all.
Early on she is crying for help, and when she wakes up it's "where...?".
As for the song, it's a reasonably well-known Swahili song about romance at odds with lack of wealth. I imagined the scene as Zecora remembering a Zebra stallion singing it to her when giving her the mask way back in Zebrica or Pundamilia or wherever.
When I write Zecora, I try to use Swahili instead of nonsense for her "native language", as the show's creators wanted to do, but didn't have the time in the production schedule.
Favorited, thumbed, and subbed. Excellent, efficient, modest writing. Very easy on the eyes. I like how you focused on the plot instead of long-winded descriptions. Cute story, good characterizations, especially Zecora. The first few paragraphs (although short) could be condensed into a single sentence, really. Spike and Twilight are lounging around the library. However, it picks up the moment Spike starts to cough and goes into full-gear. You might want to start the story there instead. Otherwise, this is a funny and entertaining little morality tale with a well-tuned bittersweet element.
This could be an episode of the series, it's that good.
The scene with Zecora singing was touching enough before I googled the words; after that, it was heartbreaking.
I've read a quite few fics, but nothing that was this simple and yet perfectly elegant. I always like episode-like fics, especially when they even carry a good message that's Smokey the Bear approved. Good on you!
352460
It's nice to see a writer put that kind of dedication into Zecora. It's rare that I see her get more than two lines and even rarer that they're actually good. Hope to see more of your work in the future.
oh, you crazy crusaders....
*a deranged looking pony with a stark white mane smiles from the brush at the Crusaders as they toil* Isn't that just precious! They believe they were totally responsible for the fire, as planned! Of course, how could they know... *He snaps fingers he shouldn't have, and in fact didn't have until moments ago, to reveal a hazy image of the recent past, with this very pony walking by the burning candle, whistling a merry tune. His right rear hoof darts out suddenly and knocks it over, where it ignites dry leaves. "Oh clumsy me!" he chuckles, continuing on as the fire spreads.*
A stain on their character, a weakness in their minds, the first pangs of regret for you to exploit when needed, my master. I've planted the seed of disharmony within them, as you commanded, Lord Discord! *The agent of the Army of Chaos slips back into the shadows!*
352460
Malaiiiikaaa
Aaaahh! Hahaha! Ohhhhh... Awwww!
It's just like an episode! Great pacing, dialogue, characterizations, and references, as usual. I really loved this. Your style is simultaneously refreshingly simple and deeply detailed. No idea how you do it.
It's 4:15 am here. Celestia's starting the sunrise already. Dang it... I'm addicted to saddlesoap. (Who knew I'd ever type those words...?)
Spike better be sorry to zecora. he's shitty cmpany and no one likes him.
Mountain Lions. Okay, that is just the coolest thing.
You can be sure that, if there is a disaster in Ponyville, either Twilight Sparkle or the Cutie Mark Crusaders would be somewhere in the middle of it.
Malaika!
A bit late to the party, but I enjoyed this little fic.
Typical CMC shenanigans and good lesson learned. Was an excellent story.
Oh, hah! True to my word, I did use mountain lions in my own story. :) I'd totally forgotten where they came from!
Is this an actual phonetic transcription of a real song? I'm curious.
I thoroughly liked this. You have the formula of an episode down nicely, and it works very well with this plot. There were a few kinks in the writing here and there, but there's not nearly enough for it to even be that noticeable if you're not looking carefully, much less detract from the story. (I could pm them to you if you'd like. There's only about three.)
The only thing that was a problem for me was the letter at the end. This might be just me, but including the explicit "be carefull with fire" felt a bit too on the nose. I think it might have worked better to let the story speak for itself on that point. The rest of the letter was fine.
Good work.
This was cute and sweet