All my life I've been constantly changing history but it still ends up repeating itself, so why bother with immortality when nothing new ever happens anymore?
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- Member Since 2nd Jul, 2012
- offline last seen Sunday
Uncr3at1ve
Because after everything burns to the ground I always tend to wander the field of ashes.
Uncr3at1ve
Joined 2nd Jul, 2012 ·
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Well written. I don't know if it should have the Random tag or not. The last line really drove the point home. Bravo.
Poor Twilight. So timeless, so bored, so alone. You captured all of that quite well, good job!
You're asking whether this should be AU-tagged. I saw people writing about the future of Equestria while using the tag, and equal number not using it, so it's up to your personal preference. And I agree with Copperus - the story sounds more like Slice of Life than actual Random.
Hiya, Uncreative. I'm reviewing your story on behalf of the Good Grammar Directory- well, I would be, if your descriptions didn't both have a grammatical problem. Please add a question mark to the end of both of them, since they're questions.
Resubmit your story to the GGD when you've done that, and we'll take a look at it.
3115604
You would not believe the degree of palm hitting face that just occurred in my room...
3116503
Hey, don't worry about it. I've seen worse. I'll get around to reviewing your story soon.
Hi, Uncreative. Please don't submit stories you clearly haven't bothered to edit at all.
Let's take a look at all the issues in your first 500 words, shall we?
*oh, how I should have listened then.
Commas: how do they work?
Really?
*not in any way that makes living an immortal life seem redundant, but so that familiar patterns
*circumstance: as the saying goes, 'You see one millennium, you've seen them all.' Events just stop being surprising.
I'm also fairly confident no one (or, rather, nopony) has ever said that before.
*Speaking of which,
You know what? I'm not doing this. Edit your own damn story, at least before submitting it to a group that deals with good grammar.
3130444
Once more unto the breach?
I've fixed all of the mistakes that you mentioned (and several more) so I'm hoping that now it shouldn't have too many mistakes to qualify, that is assuming multiple submissions are permitted. I guess I've learned never to ask a friend to tell me if anything is wrong, and then not look through it again myself afterwards, I'm sorry to inconvenience you due to my over-confidence/ exceeding laziness. Although, I must say that I'm relieved that a lot of the errors stemmed from punctuation, rather than misspellings and sentences not making sense.
Hey, congratulations
Your story made it into the Good Grammar Dictionary. Your story had the following requirements
- 2 or less spelling/grammar/general errors in the first 500 words
- A well-rounded interesting story
- A nice easy set-out
- Overall nice writing style and grammar
Find your story in the 'Slice of Life' folder. Thanks for contributing to the Good Grammar Dictionary.
- Radical
Hi! I read one of your stories because you followed me. This is a good idea for a story. Conventional wisdom would say that you should "show, don't tell" this entire story, meaning pick the most-important conclusions Twilight draws, and instead of having her narrate it, show 2 or 3 instances of it within a story, meanwhile filling out the story with other story-stuff (other characters having their own moments). That would make it much longer. I won't say it would make it better, but it would give it a better chance of becoming popular.