We've seen what Discord did to the Mane Cast. How be broke them all, turned them into sick parodies of themselves. But what about what he did to other ponies? Ponies such as a certain mailmare... What did Discord do to corrupt Derpy?
Author's Note: This was PAINFUL to write. But when a story hits me, I can't leave it alone until I have it on paper. Pony POV series is copyrighted to Alex Warlorn and can be found here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PonyPOVSeries Image created by Ecto-500 on FurAffinity, slightly edited to remove a comedic caption.
Author's Note Secondary: Apparently, this story is now an Optional Canon story for the Pony POV series. I'm truly honored. :D
Chapters (2)
Oh... she needs to be undiscorded FAST.
Oh, damn, that was cold.
Either way, excellent story! but when will you be back to working on Waking Nightmares?
I'm..... not sure what to say. Just so we're clear, I don't LIKE the idea, concept, or how Derpy is treating Dinky... but...
This was well written. This makes sense. Gives me chills, but this is good. If Fluttershy can turn into Flutterbitch, ever loving and caring Derpy can turn into an abusive parent. For that, you get five sta- err.... thumbs up. You get a thumbs up.
Damn.
I know it was labelled "Dark," but damn. That was DARK.
My Little Sociopath: Hatred is Magic, created by Discord.
WOW...did not see that coming as i didn't even think that Fluttershy would be that cold.
Just wow.
A profoundly disturbing story. Well done.
I...somewhat enjoyed the writing style. I don't see why everyone's calling this dark though, I find this laughable. If there were stars, I'd most likely give this a 4/5, but have a thumbs up instead.
Well, Discord's channeling Palpatine would be the best way to get her to go chaotic on us.
Right. So.
The entire fandom is now prepared to throw down on Discord.
Like, in the words of Heavy:
YOU! YES, YOU! YOU ARE DEAD!
oh derpy......
GOD DAM IT DISCORD!
Discord's reaction?
That indeed was cold... but in a really flat way. I feel this whole text devoid of emotion.
There are some mistakes here and there (I.E. fill =/= feel), but nothing too hard on the eyes.
You write nicely. In fact, this story is good, but I just believe it isn't for me.
That was horrible... The writing itself was brilliant, the language was great... But it made me want to curl up and die.
Take my thumbs up. And my track, just please fix Derpy!
--Khroam
dear god!
NOPONY takes MY derpy!
Looks like Discord needs to be... Punished.
media.comicvine.com/uploads/2/27843/538395-punisher_12.jpg
Is there any doubt that Discord's a Complete Monster?
235840 Fair enough. One cannot hope to please everyone.
Wow i feel bad for derpy
My goodness
Your verb tense is a little all over the place at times. You fluctuate between present and past tense, maybe without knowing. I suggest you go back and tighten that up.
Other than that, this is an interesting turn of events. I'll just hit that little "track story" button now...
I feel sick now
I'm going to go hide some where and try to forget this.
*STAMP OF APPROVAL!*
(I'll begin posting the POV Series here sometime next month. Until then it's available on deviantart!)
235887 I was thinking Discord should be punished with Rainbow Factory with a side of Sweet Apple Massacre and
to finish it off...
...wow that was....wow.
Honestly i liked it alot
i usually leave extremely long comments but....meh.....not this time
Rage, apocalyptic levels of rage
Coming from an abusive father I just can't like this man. Nice try but it's a thumbs down
You actually managed to do an even sadder version of Derpy getting discorded than the last guy who did it over on deviantART! I didn't think you could manage that!
236675 I didn't even know there WAS another Discorded Derpy story...
I feel like the concept is solid, but it's almost taken a little too far. I understand the ideas behind Discord's magic, and I suppose that hate for Derpy makes the most sense (maybe? I mean, I'm not really sure that's the opposite of her virtue but you characterize it well enough). But if her hate is spawned from the fact that no one supported her, or her daughters, I feel like while seeing Sparkler might not do it (because, you know, she's a statue)... Dinky coming in as a pegasus, so desperately wanting to be with and support her mother seems like it would be her 'Twilight' moment.
I just can't buy that she'd say all those really hateful things, I can understand some of it, like being upset at her for getting wings. Which, if she did it to make her mom happy (something she's always characterized as trying to do) could possibly drain her colors. Even if you argue it's a perversion of Derpy's qualities as a good mother there's still a few problems with it, mostly that Discord's magic never seemed to affect anything other than the key virtue's of the characters, and of course the difference between being a poor mother and hateful... and just being evil.
It's still well written, and I'll definitely give you the Thumbs Up... but, I'm doubtful to read any more.
Derpy would never hurt her children!
236774
I hope you come back for Derpy's Reharminzation story, which should be done later this evening. And while I am glad that you... (enjoyed doesn't seem to be the right word here...) 'appreciated' the story for the most part, I can understand that you had some doubts about parts of it. The only thing I'll say in defense of my storytelling decisions is this: Discord is known to cheat.
But I digress.
236817
Is this going to be all about Derpy or is it going to be a series of vignettes about various characters. Because if it's going to be a bunch of different vignettes I might be really tempted to stick around. I may keep an eye out for Derpy's reharmonization...
Who wants catharsis?
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/037/9/7/squeezin___it_wrong_by_mickeymonster-d4oenmk.png
Link
honestly, derpy needs tah be bucked in th' head right about now. and she's my 2nd favorite charecter in th' entire series.
236956 This particular side story is about Derpy, and will end at her Reharmonization.
237148
Ah, screw it. You write well enough. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
236721
Yeah, it's by Kendell2 over at deviantART. He came up with a different way for Discord to corrupt Derpy, & more importantly, even when she was discorded Derpy never hit Dinky in his version. Still, I see you plan on reharmonizing her too, so maybe I'll keep an eye out to see if this gets any less depressing.
Ironically. The dreams Ditzy originally mentioned in the story? They were dreams of the Discorded Ponies Epilogue Timeline where Discord turned Dinky into a muffin, and had hungry birds appear around Derpy constantly with the promise if she got around his palace several trillions times, he'd change her back.
239850 AH! I didn't think of that.
...Well, I could easily change the dreams in-story to match it.
Technically speaking Sparkler no longer had the hypno swirls by that time (since Princess Gaia had changed tactics and was letting her fouls have more freedom of actions rather than just being in their own private fantasy illusions).
Technically the fog just receded, Gaia's animals themselves turning back into fog. The ponies become older again when their dark sides returned to them. And Sparkler was basically begging. Since her perfect world couldn't exist without her mother ther.e
But all these tiny, consistency issues aside?
*STAMP OF APPROVAL!* AGAIN! *STAMP OF APPROVAL!!!*
This story has everything a reharmonization story should have! Tons of call backs! CHARACTERS BEING IN CHARACTER! PEACEFUL RESOLUTION! IT WAS WONDERFUL!!!!
236974 great pic lol 7th panel, discord: O.O dear celestia, what have i done?!
i think i need to read the original stories this was based on as i'm just left quite confused by the end with all that stuff like princess fluttershy/gaia, that came outta nowhere for me so you lost me almost completely when that section started.
Amazing, I mean really just epic
my brain is full of 'wat'
im sure you could get another chapter or two out of this but i liked it