• Member Since 31st Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 4th, 2020

a human


Fluttershy smiles politely.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Obama Goes to Equestria


Equestria was shaken by the most violent crime in its history. No one was expecting it. The inhabitants of a small castle next to a quiet village were brutally massacred, and anyone trying to investigate disappeared afterwards. Not willing to lose any more lives, Equestria and the Griffon Kingdom opened the investigation to volunteers as a high-risk mission. One person accepted. Shining Wings, a griffon.

Armed only with a cryptic warning from the last investigators, "lavender alicorn," he sets out to find the truth.

Originally written for Equestria Daily's Flash Fiction Event.

Takes place after Obama Goes to Equestria. (More details here)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

Heh, well while I'm firmly from the camp that only sees positive things coming from season 3's events I have to applaud a well told story. I enjoyed this one immensely, a human. Nicely done.

Celestia didn’t make me a princess as a reward. It was a punishment.

So...we're not going to get any elaboration on that? How it's some of the most Insane Troll Logic that I've ever seen in a fanfic? The point that's raised is extremely valid: why didn't Celestia and Luna tell her and prepare her for it? It's getting rather tiresome to see [Grimdark] fanfics whose whole plots rest on some of the shakiest foundations my Suspension of Disbelief has seen.

Why was it a punishment?

This needs a second chapter where she has more control over her self and tortures the griffin and F@CKING EXPLAINS WHAT THE F@CK IS GOING ON.

Okay, that all just happened.......whatever it was.:trixieshiftleft: This left a bunch of questions with no answers, and that annoys me. One shots kinda have wrap themselves up a bit or otherwise they're beginnings of stories that will never be finished.

That aside though, this was well done.

I liked it.
Originally I thought the alicorn was a vampire, but this explanation fits (even if it is a bit non-canon, what with Cadence).

I'm just glad the like ratio is better than the Obama story. :rainbowkiss:

2879388>>2879469>>2879702>>2881755
I've altered that section of the ending a bit to clear things up, specifically why Celestia did this. It doesn't answer everything, but it should at least be better than "Celestia's a torturer for literally no reason."

Also, things will be cleared up more in the future, I assure you. To avoid giving too much away, all I can say is…

This story is posted too early.

..........................

Because that totally doesn't raise more questions :trollestia:

2883050
.....okay? Twilight tried to take the throne for no apparent reason.....really?. I mean......are you trying to frustrate the hell out of us? Because it's working.:ajbemused:

And you're right it does raise more questions. Like why would Twilight try to do that and why would Celestia send her with all those uncontrollable killing instincts there as well. You're still making her seem like a overtly cruel person.

You sir are.....are...well to be frank you're good. Waiting to see how this works out, if you are going to that is.

2883120

.....okay? Twilight tried to take the throne for no apparent reason.....really?

cdn.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/2013/02/06/082843/83074105/thankbama.jpg

2883262
I......well played sir.:moustache:

2883050 well as long as you pinky promise to finish this.

2883050
>cleared up in the future
>story's tagged Complete

Uh...

“I tried to take her throne,” Twilight said. “Just once.”

You know, usually when someone commits treason, their the ones punished, not a castle full of innocent citizens.

2884049
I'm trying to hint at a plotline for a future story without giving too much away. Usually I'd release the other story first, but this flash fiction event came at a convenient time and seemed the perfect way to develop this part of its plot more. Considering the fandom's most infamous grimdark stories apparently completely ignore the motive, and I really wanted to participate in a flash fiction event, it seemed worth the confusion.

I don't expect readers to have to know that, though, so I am trying to fix that segment to help the story make more sense alone. (It's changed again, with any luck for good this time.) As for the other instances of Fridge Logic, yeah, they're there, and if I can think of good ways to plug those up from this side I will.

…dammit, I just pulled the "I had fun writing it so stop criticizing me" card, didn't I? Anyways, long story short, I can assure you I have a plan, even if it is a bit stupid. I hope you at least enjoyed the rest of the story? :pinkiesmile:

3210886
Fun story: I bugged a friend to read this, and when I asked him what his reaction was he said he went and took a hot shower and tried to forget it.

I was like my life is complete :moustache:

3554204
Check out Come with me, Luna. It has a similar tone and is basically a prequel to this story.

4460996
I'm going to imagine you were reading this in public and just started randomly screaming like that :trollestia:

2886116 You mentioned a continuation, when can we expect this?

5002635
If I can stick to my schedule, about six months. But it's a bit complicated.

All my stories are a giant series that take place in the same universe. It's going to be a while before the timeline reaches the events after this story, but a lot of my other stories help establish why everything here happened. In addition, the way this story works into the big plot, it's not going to get a direct sequel.

Sorry if that's a bit vague. Gotta be really hush hush about spoilers.

Where's the sequel? Oh, there isn't one. How sad. But this story was nice and dark and creepy.
But still, It was well written.

Hmmm
I saw the timeline in your profile. Arc 1 is set before this - and arc 1 specifically.

... I so want to see the aftermath of this in Obama Returns to Equestria.

6199199
My lips are sealed. :p

I probably commented here or something, but I have to tell you that this story has been stuck in my mind since I first read it. I've always liked it, so I've decided to give it a favorite so I can come back and remember why I liked this tale so much. Thanks for a great read!

6235158
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. This has always been one of my favorite stories I've written.

Also, remember, this is part of a larger series. Just recently, actually, most of the backstory explaining the events of this story has been written. And soon, like within a month or two, I'm going to clarify exactly how the story works into the timeline and what that means for a "sequel."

Oh, bucking hell this was creepy. It's certainly going on my top-rated horror list! When I make one, of course.

That was Sooo Awesome!!!!:rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment