“Of what does the existence of the stable dweller consist? Two words describe it entirely. Finiteness is one of those words. . . . The other is monotony.”
No two words better encapsulate the life of Littlepip, Stable 2’s Pip-Buck repair technician. She understands the arguments to the necessity of such an existence. But in the recesses of her deepest thoughts, she despises it, though she’d never admit it to herself, for she can neither tell herself why she despises it nor what she desires more. When a strange encounter in the basement of the stable churns up her subconsciousness and stimulates her contrary notions, she reaches out for support, not knowing for whom to look for support nor whom she must avoid. Her only outlet is the stable’s radio frequency. However, the radio is merely sound. So far under the earth, it would only take the slightest tremor of the stable to mute it forever.
A massive thank-you to Golden Tassel, my faithful editor. This romance would be missing many of its critical elements if it weren’t for him. He's shown an amazing tolerance for putting up with my nonsense and eccentricity—not my eccentricity but my romanticism. There is indeed a difference.
A thank-you to Malicious Muse, for his help with Chapter III.
I don't usually post comments such as "looks cool, will read later", but I must say that more than the description, the strange chapter structure (with the wildly inconsistent chapter sizes) makes me curious about the fic.
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It's definitely not your typical FOE sidefic, and most of what it has in common with the original Fallout: Equestria is largely superficial. It's also written in a wildly different style (Romanticism), which accounts for why the chapter structure and sizes seem so strange.
I'm definitely curious about this little story. I'm going to have to give it a read soon. It certainly looks different and unique.
This took me a long time to read. But I absolutely loved it.
Thank you for this Archer.
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Something that occurred to me, while I was reading this, was the idea that the overmare might be Copper's mother. Some of their dialogue reads way differently if you think of them like that. Did you happen to think that about them? Or what do you think of that idea?
Archer has told me that he never planned it that way, but was surprised when he couldn't find anything inconsistent with the hypothesis. I like to think she was his mother anyway, even if it wasn't planned that way.
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The overmare being copper's mum doesn't quite feel right to me. There is something about her tone when talking about copper's death.... Although she talks a lot about being a mother, I think she refers to the stable as a whole, not just copper.
I can see where you're coming from though.
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It's actually the way she talks about being a mother versus being the overmare is what I really like about the idea of her as his mother. Her character is all about being evasive: she never answers questions directly and she's always very deliberate about what she says and how she says it. She talks about Copper in a very detached way, and then there's her line about wanting to go hug her own son; it seems to me like she's trying very hard to reconcile her own grief with having to keep up appearances for the rest of the stable at the same time, and all of that on top of them having an estranged relationship. I honestly feel sad for the overmare if I think about it like that.
A lot of that is probably just me projecting, but I like it.
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It makes you wonder whether she believes what she herself is saying. The Overmare says there is nothing outside, but I somehow get the feeling she isn't telling the whole truth.
Chances are I'm just projecting too...
But that's what I like so much about this story. The entire thing ends up virtually how you want it to, as you cannot believe what anyone says, apart from Pip and maybe Copper, so only choose the bits you want to hear. For example, I don't think Copper committed suicide. But I don't know if he got out of the stable or was murdered. Or something wacky like that.
I still don't understand why so few people have seen this! It's not nearly as popular as it should be!
This comment ended up far longer than it should have.
...oops.
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I think the overmare is in a tough position. I think she both believes and doesn't believe what she says. She strikes me as being motivated primarily by her duty as overmare to keep the stable, well... stable. This is why her conflict with Copper is so interesting, because he, with his individuality, appears to her as a threat to the stable. I don't think she did kill him, but I do think she was capable of it. I think the way she evades littlepip's inquiry about what exactly happened and where the body was was her way of trying to believe her own lies (whatever those lies are).
Hopefully more people will get around to reading this soon. I'd love to see what other people think about what happened and what this take on LP and Velvet has to say.
Archer has mentioned, in one if his reviews of FOE, something to the effect of Littlepip's reasons for chasing after velvet being really lame. Or something like that. I kinda have to agree, honestly. But this story, even though it shares little more than a few names with FOE, leaves me with the feeling that this is the Littlepip who would leave the stable. I also like to think that Copper was what influenced Velvet to leave the stable herself.
Don't worry too much about long comments. Having something to say is never a bad thing.
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Another good point. I though it was Archer complaining about FoE awhile back, and I have to agree. Pip doesn't seem to have any actual reason to leave the stable. It wasn't until about chapter fifteen that I really got into FoE, and I only got there through sheer willpower!
This Pip and Velvet are the ponies who would be motivated into leaving the stable, whilst in the original it just isn't that clear.
Sorry for late replies!
I've recently finished Blank Slate, and posted a somewhat lengthier-than-FiMFic-comment-standard review here. It speaks mostly in generalities; if anyone would like to discuss the finer points I would be glad to.
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I almost immediately liked FOE when I read it, but now, some two years later, I see it as just being overwhelmingly mediocre and rife with missed potential. Still, it made a big splash and inspired an entire subcommunity. So it's noteworthy for that much at least.
It's stuff like Blank Slate that I'd like to see more of; a story that can take FOE's setting and use it to say something, rather than just muck about in it like so many other sidefics just looking to run around on an adventure with no real plan or goal in mind (this is why we see so many sidefics run over 200k words with no end in sight).
Hmmm... a fic that is dark and actually makes me think???
Let's see what chapter two brings.
For some reason this reminds me of V for Vendetta. Not exactly, but similar. My main question at this point is who exactly is the evil behind this (you made it seem as if something needed sustenance in chapter one), or is evil to be applied in a more general sense?
The monster in the basement scared me, this whole story scares me. Such a place shouldn't exist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWbbjvYmN8A
Towards the end that felt more like poetry.
You totally gave that last bit away, but damn that was clever. So you know I was reading this after work, in my room, with the lights turned off... Needless to say it freaked me out enough that I turned on my lights, just to be on the safe side.
The description of the hallway was delightfully creepy. I wonder how I will feel when I start reading more traditional fics again.
Damn...
Not bad. While it was a good exposition chapter it lacked the creepiness that the previous chapters had. Ten bits says the next chapter will be about Littlepip and Copper in the radio room during the present.
It stands to reason that engineers have a relatively short life span, no?
The Overmare strikes me as a bit of a
tch.
Littlepip...
.
You mad bro?
To me there seems to be a romantic interest here, but it is carefully hidden and has many layers of complexity. Some apparent, others implied, others like shadows in the corner of my eye. Well done.
Know that feeling all too well.
I felt like there should have been more here, like what happened after the images. But I'm reading this so late in the game that, conveniently, the next exists.
I want to believe Copper is still alive, but at the same time...
I am imagining the Overmare to be a corrupt form of Celestia. Such is her power of manipulation.
Determination in your eyes
Where has it gone as I said goodbye
A lot has happened
But I'll stay by your side
I know that feel.
The poor thing, she is having all kinds of irreparable trauma inflicted on her right now.
Thank you for the interesting story.
Why did you choose the Rankine scale? The only place I know it is used is in steam engines and generators.
Finally getting back to post about it, I can safely say that this is as unique as fics get. While I can't say it fits with FoE canon, it did carry the feel of a FoE fic. If you are interested, have some more in-depth paragraphs about it here.
Got around to reading this. It's honestly quite a romp. Bit disjointed with the source material (Not that that is a bad thing. Literally every FOE sidestory has differences in lore, themes, or even worldbuilding. Project Horizons literally reinvents the wheel and then tries to add more edges.) but interesting none the less.
I feel like a proper sweep is in order though. Going back and cleaning up the problems when your 'voice' overrides the 'characters' and 'humany' words are used. I think others have touched upon that in their personal reviews though so I won't parrot them. But honestly at the end of it all I sorta feel like this could've been completely rewritten removing any mention of ponies and placed in an ambiguous Post-Apocalyptic world and literally nothing would change, content wise.
The fact that Littlepip is in it only seems to resonate if you try to imagine what this, and I make a distinction since your characters are pretty different from the source, Pip would react once she left the Stable.
"This is an even bigger jail than the one I came out of." is how I imagine it'd start.
This not only should, but deserves, to get more attention though. I definitely find this Littlepip, the romantic hero, a whole lot more interesting than what Kkat wrote sad to say.
I like the symbolism. But damn it makes me feel like I'm reading a textbook
I'm trying to figure out the significance of this last scene, but I am so far unable. Why does Pip react so strongly to the piece of hair?
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)
So, could someone summarise this up to me?
I'm afraid I'm not quite with all you folk with a brain. For certain; the story was interesting, but it felt very strange. I thought it was a horror at one point, the noises Pip hears behind the Stable Door, the weird mess of children in the hallway from the one guys notebook, that pointed to horror, and I see no romance in this story at all, other than Pip seeing Copper as a friend.
Poor Littlepip