Hey hey hey
15w, 6dHell has frozen over 0 comments · 48 views
34w, 3dI think I've come to a decision 4 comments · 77 views
38w, 2dThis should go without saying, but... 0 comments · 51 views
41w, 3hIt's time 1 comments · 52 views
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49w, 2dMerry Christmas from StayOuttaMyShed 2 comments · 46 views
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50w, 3dUpdates coming very soon 2 comments · 45 views
51w, 4dWell shit... 1 comments · 56 views
52w, 4dAnything like this happen for anyone else? 6 comments · 136 views
After leaving A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion, Big Mac and the dragon pimp made their way to the Ponyville train station, just in time to board a train leaving for Canterlot. Soon enough, the duo arrived in the royal city, and it couldn't have been soon enough for the red colt. As soon as the train arrived at his destination, Big Mac bolted out the door to check the time. He found a clock standing inside of the Canterlot train station building and read out the time.
"6:05." The stallion thought to himself as the baby dragon accompaning him joined him inside the train station.
"So I guess we're too late then," A Pimp Named Spikeback calmly said to Big Macintosh.
"Like hell we are. Come on, Twilight said that ass lives with Princess Celstia, so we're going to the castle now." Before the purple suit wearing dragon could protest, Big Mac grabbed him by the suit with his teeth and placed A Pimp Named Spikeback on his back. As soon as he was safely on his back, Big Macintosh started galloping as fast as his hooves could carry him toawrds Canterlot Castle.
"Whoa now. Boy this ain't no regular old castle we're talking about here, this is the home to Equestria's Princeses. Do you expect to just casually walk in uninvited?" A Pimp Named Spikeback asked the impatient colt.
"You know Princess Celstia don't ya?" Big Macintosh quickly asked back.
"Well yeah, but-"
"But nothing," Big Mac said, cutting off the dragon king of swag. "She knows you, so I don't think they'll mind none that we're paying them a visit. Now we ain't got no time to lose."
Big Macintosh sped up his pace even faster, fueled by the horrible thoughts of losing Cheerilee to Prince Blueblood. Dozens of high class unicorns walking the streets of Canterlot were very much confused by the site of a frantic red earth pony blazing down the streets while a baby dragon pimp rode on his back, but Big Macintosh was gone before they knew it. Big Mac was a colt on a mission, and nopony was going to stop him from reaching Cheerilee before it was too late. A Pimp Named Spikeback simply tightly held on to his cane and hat, making sure not to accidently lose them while riding Big Macintosh.
It didn't take long for Big Macintosh to reach Canterlot Castle, thanks to the incredible speed he had ran to it. Once he reached the stairs, he cantered up them and was greeted by two of Princess Celestia's personal guard ponies.
"Hold it right there," One of the guard's told Big Mac.
"Listen guys, I really need to get inside right now. It's really important. Please let me through," the red stallion pleaded to the guardsmen.
"You're not going anywhere buddy," responded the other guard. "Not unless you have royal buisness with Celestia. And I highly doubt you have that."
"Guys it's cool. He's with me." A Pimp Named Spikeback hopped off of Big Mac's back to show the guard ponies who had just spoke.
"Spike? We haven't seen you in months! What's with the getup?" asked the first guard.
"It's a long story, but as my friend here said, we are in a hurry. Would you guys kindly let us in?" the baby dragon asked.
"Of course," the other guard pony responded.
The guards turned to the doors and opened them, letting Big Macintosh and A Pimp Named Spikeback walk inside.
"Sorry about being rude a little bit ago," one of the guards told Big Mac. "Any friend of Spike is welcome here."
"Don't worry about. Hey, y'all wouldn't have happened to see Prince Blueblood and a mare come through here, did ya?" asked Big Mac.
"Yes, actually. They came in just a couple of minutes before the two of you. They shouldn't be hard to find," the other guard responded.
"Thank ya kindly gentlemen." Big Macintosh immediatley started galloping through the castle to check the room for Cheerilee and Blueblood's location. A Pimp Named Spikeback turned to the guards.
"Thanks for the help fellas. And by the way, the name ain't Spike no more. You can call me A Pimp Named Spikeback." The baby dragon then ran to catch up with the frantic red colt running through Canterlot Castle. The two guard ponies watched them curiously and began to think.
"Why was Spike talking like that?" one of the guards to the other.
"Why did he want us to call him A Pimp Named Spikeback?" asked the other in response.
The guards stood still for a small while pondering these questions, but they ultimatley shrugged it off, and returned to their position outside of the entrance into the castle.
Big Macintosh search numerous rooms in the gigantic caslte, while A Pimp Named Spikeback struggled to keep up. Big Macintosh had searched the kitchen, the ballroom, the library, and even the bathrooms for his marefriend and the royal prince. He was almost ready to give up hope of finding them until he heard a faint voice. He wasn't able to understand what the voice was saying, but as he listened closer, there was one thing he was certain about.
"That's Cheerilee's voice." Big Macintosh took off as fast as lightning in the direction of the voice. A Pimp Named Spikeback, who had only just caught up with the red colt, let out a sigh, and contined to follow his client.
As Big Mac continued to run, he could hear the voice becoming closer and closer. The voice lead him to the incredibly large dinning hall. The room was guargantuan, and asides from a massive dinning table in the middle of the room, it was also very open. Big Mac, however, could still not see Cheerilee, despite the fact that he could clearly hear her voice nearby, Big Mac checked every corner of the room, despratley trying to find the source of his mare friend's voice. As he was checking under the dinning room table, A Pimp Named Spikeback finally found his way to the dinning hall as well, out of breath from runing to keep up with Big Macintosh. The red stallion looked up to see the baby dragon enter the room.
"A Pimp Named Spikeback, ah hear her voice, but ah don't see her. I don't know where she could be at all," Big Mac sadly told the dragon pimp.
A Pimp Named Spikeback simply looked to his side, then turned to face Big Mac once again.
"You dumbass. You can't see here because she's outside, not in here." A Pimp Named Spikeback pointed to where he had just looked, where a large open door to the garden set. Big Mac quickly ran over to the open door, and sure enough, he could finally see Cheerilee. As always, she looked beautiful to him, with her purple coat and pink hair looking amazing. However, Big Mac also saw someone else outside near Cheerilee. A white unicorn stallion with long blond hair, dressed in a lavish formal suit. Even though he had never seen him before, Big Macintosh didn't have to question who it was. It was none other than Prince Blueblood himself. Once again, Big Mac was consumed by rage. Just looking at the high class colt boiled Big Macintosh's blood.
"Well, you just gonna stand here like an idiot, or are you gonna go smack a bitch?" Big Mac looked down at A Pimp Named Spikeback after the baby dragon said this. Big Mac let out a sigh and returned his gaze to the 2 ponies outside.
"Ah think I'm ready," the red colt responded.
"That's what I like to hear. I'll wait right here, you handle this. Remember what I taught you," the baby dragon told Big Mac. The earth pony nodded and started trotting straight up to Cheerilee and Blueblood. Because their back were to Big Macintosh, they didn't notice the fuming red stallion that was approaching them until he was directly behind them and spoke.
"Cheerilee," Big Macintosh hissed out.
Both Cheerilee and Prince Blueblood turned to see the angry colt behind them. Both looked shocked to see him behind them, although Cheerilee looked a tiny bit more surprised.
"Big Mac, what are you doing here?" she asked her furious colt friend.
"Cheerilee, ah know I may not be the smartest pony in Equestria, but I ain't no idiot. I know what's going on here," Big Mac responded, letting the anger in his voice sound obvious.
"What do you mean what's going on here? Big Mac is there a problem?" the contused purple mare asked.
"IS THERE A PROBLEM?" Cheerilee was taken back by how loud Big Macintosh had just yelled. Prince Blueblood was also beginning to become frightened of the strange red colt. "Of course there's a problem! Did you think I wouldn't have a problem with you cheating on me with this stuck up snob?"
"I...what? Big Mac what are you talking about?" the baffled teacher pony responded.
"That's right. I found out about the letters y'all were sending each other to get together today and do Celestia knows what," a furious Big Macintosh retorted. "A Pimp Named Spikeback over there helped me figure everything out."
Big Mac pointed his hoof at the dragon pimp that was standing in the doorway to the dinning room, who was watching them intently to see what would happen. The baby dragon gave a slight nod when Big Mac pointed to him. Cheerilee and Prince Blueblood looked at A Pimp Named Spikeback in confusion for a short while before returning their gaze to Big Macintosh.
"Is that Spike? Big Mac, what's going on here?" Cheerilee was incredibly confused. She couldn't make heads or tails of the situation that was unfolding.
"What's happening is that you and me are going home right now," Big Mac hissed out through gritted teeth.
"Now you wait just a minute you ruffian, I-"
"You shut your damn mouth right now rich boy," Big Mac told Blueblood, cutting him off mid sentence. The shocked Prince quickly complied with the earth ponies command.
"Come on Cheerilee, we're going home right now," Big Macintosh said, returning his attention to his still very confused mare friend.
"Big Mac wait a minute. What are you talking about? Why are you acting like this?" Cheerilee was now very concerned about how her colt friend was acting.
"Cheerilee, ah said that we're going home NOW," the red stallion demanded.
"We're not going anywhere until you explain yourself," Cheerilee snapped back.
At that moment, A Pimp Named Spikeback's words echoed in Big Macintosh's mind.
"If she continues to misbehave, then that's when you got to slap a bitch."
Big Mac gulped. He looked back to A Pimp Named Spikeback, simply looking, as if simply asking with his eyes if he should go through with it. The suit wearing dragon seemed to understand the red colt's look, for he nodded at Big Macintosh. The red colt turned back to face the two ponies who were watching him carefully. Big Mac sighed.
"Alright, if that's how it's gonna be, then there's only one thing to do."
Neither Cheerilee nor Prince Blueblood knew what Big Macintosh meant by this, but they didn't have much time to ponder it, for they could already see the red colt about to take action. Big Macintosh raised his hoof and then brought it back, preparing to smack his target. Cheerilee's eyes grew wide as she realized what Big Macintosh was about to do. In a flash, Big Macintosh's hoof snapped forward, coming near the purple mare's face. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the incoming hit. And then the sound rang threw the entire royal garden.
There was an eerie silence for a short while. Big Mac was out of breath, taken back by what he had just done. A Pimp Named Spikeback, who was observing the scene from the doorway, had his jaw dropped by the sight he had just seen. Birds were scattering in the skies above, having been frightened by the sound of the hit. And then Cheerilee opened her eyes.
There wasn't a mark on her. Despite the fact that she had saw her colt friend's hoof flying towards her face, and had heard the sound of a hit connecting, she was perfectly fine. For a little while she was confused. That is, until she looked next to her and saw Prince Blueblood, who had just been knocked to the floor by the force of Big Macintosh's blow. A couple of the high class unicorn's teeth had been knocked from his mouth by the blow, and a small amount of blood covered his lips and the ground where he had landed. The unicorn looked up at Big Macintosh in shock and horror, still in disbelief that the earth pony had just strucken royalty.
"Listen here buddy, this here is MY mare friend. I love her, and you can't take her away from me. Do you hear me? You can't take her away from me!" Big Mac was in tears as he spoke, yet still letting anger flow through his voice.
"Big Mac, what in the name of Celestia are you doing? I'm not here to cheat on you with Prince Blueblood," the shocked teacher told Big Macintosh.
"Huh? But the letters said you were going to meet him here," a now confused Big Macintosh responded.
"Yes, for him to give my class a tour of the royal castle for the Canterlot field trip," Cheerilee told Big Mac.
"Field trip?" Big Macintosh looked behind him. In the excitement of the situation, he failed to notice the numerous little colts and fillies that were strolling through the royal garden, observing the various flowers, animals, and statues that it held. However, the fuss that Big Mac had caused had caught the attention off all of them, and Big Macintosh found himself being watched by dozens of young ponies.
"Yes Big Mac, field trip. The third grade has a field trip to Canterlot every year, don't you remember? Your sister went on the same trip this time last year, right before Discord was released," Cheerilee told the stallion in an annoyed tone.
As Big Macintosh though, the situation was finally beginning to make sense. Unfortunately, it was also beginning to make him realize how large of a mistake he had just made. Also in the confusion of the situation, nopony noticed that a certain baby dragon has stepped away from his observation point, and was on his way to exit the castle after realizing the awkwardness of what was occurring in the garden.
"And during this trip, Prince Blueblood here was giving the kids a tour of Canterlot Castle. We were just talking about Canterlot while the kids got to roam the gardens free for a minute when you barged in." Cheerilee was also forming tears in her eyes. "Why would you think I was cheating on you? I mean, for Celestia's sake Big Mac, I love you. I would never cheat on you."
Big Mac felt terrible about the mistake he had made, and even more terrible that he ever though Cheerilee was cheating on him as soon as he heard her say these words.
"Cheerilee I......I'm sorry. I've been mighty foolish today. Ah just don't know what to say I-"
Big Mac and Cheerilee turned to see Prince Blueblood, who had just cut the red stallion off. By the royal prince's sides were at least six guard ponies, all of whom had their eye's locked on Big Mac for striking Blueblood. Prince Blueblood was staring a hole through the red stallion.
"Uh Cheerilee?" Big Macintosh asked his mare friend.
"Yeah Big Mac?" she responded.
"You reckon we should start running?" the red colt calmly asked back.
Cheerilee looked around at the many guard ponies.
"I think that would be a good idea," Cheerilee finally responded. She looked back to her class that was watching everything going on curiously.
"Alright class, I hope you've enjoyed this tour of Canterlot Castle because we need to leave right now," Cheerilee told her young student calmly, in her usually cheery nature. Unfortunately, the young ponies didn't quite understand why their teacher had told them this and simply stood where they were. "My little ponies, I don't think you really understand. Let me put it simply for you." Cheerilee cleared her throat and calmly looked back to her students.
The young ponies finally comprehended what their teacher had told them, and immediately took off to exit the castle, running as fast as they could. Big Macintosh and Cheerilee followed them closely behind as the guard ponies began to chase them out. They all ran as fast as they could, and soon were outside of the royal castle, galloping away from it as fast as their hooves could manage. The guard ponies ceased following them after they were out of the castle. Prince Blueblood watched the ponies leave with a scowl on his face, holding the teeth that Big Macintosh had smacked out of them, still having some blood stained into the fur around his mouth.
"Stupid common ponies."