Windchaser
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67w, 5dThe Conversion Bureau
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67w, 5dThe Conversion Bureau
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17w, 1dCompleted Story Compendium
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2w, 2dPonification
Epilogue
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The first rays of sunlight began to bathe the valley, the chill in the air finally beginning to dissipate from the cold night before. Though the day had barely started, the Pegasus Weather Squad was already hard at work, prepping the skies for the day’s forecast. Sunny with passing clouds, giving way to a clear sky later that evening.
While they tirelessly worked, the town below slowly began to rise from its slumber. The few stores had begun to open for the day, workers continued their work on the many houses and buildings yet to be constructed, and colts and fillies began their morning by getting ready for school.
A shrill beeping resounded in one of the houses, sending a pegasus colt tumbling out of bed in a tangle of his own sheets onto the floor. He wiggled his head free and glared at the black box resting on his window sill. “Turn it off!”
“Of course, sir,” the box responded. The ringing ceased its assault on the colt’s ears. Falling back into the bundle of sheets, he began to feel the sweet, sweet grip of sleep begin to take him again. “Sir, if you don’t get ready for school, your aunt will send Pearl and Bracket in to finish my job for me.”
The blue pegasus’ eyes snapped open in panic. “Alright, alright, I’m up, I’m up!” Windchaser said as he wiggled his way free from the sheets. He stretched his forehooves and wings out, hearing the groans and cracks of his joints waking up along with him. He never liked mornings. Not one bit. He yawned and smacked his lips as he looked out the window from his room. The sun was hanging lazily above the horizon, the glare blinding his still half-lidded eyes.
Bringing his hoof to his eyes to shield them from the sunlight, he turned and trotted to his door and down the upstairs hall to the bathroom to take a quick and soothing shower to wake him up. After he felt clean enough, he toweled himself off the best he could, shaking the rest of the moisture off by whipping his head around. He rose up to the sink and took a mouthful of the oppressively minty mouthwash and swished it around in his mouth.
He looked at his own reflection while he was busy with the mouthwash. His white mane was frizzy from the shower still, but still reflected the light from the window impressively enough. His sky blue coat was smooth all across his body. He flicked his white tail, whipping the last of the water across the bathroom wall. He smiled to himself sheepishly and spit out the mouthwash, whispering “Sorry...”
Trotting back into his own room clean and refreshed, Windchaser began tucking his books into his saddlebags. “Hey SyRE, what time is it?”
“About 8:23. Homeroom starts in seventeen minutes, sir,” the computer responded.
Windchaser nodded and tossed his bags onto his back. He slowly and calmly walked from his room downstairs to the kitchen, where his family sat waiting for breakfast.
“Morning, Windchaser!” Pearl and Bracket echoed simultaneously. The pink and grey pegasus twins somehow manage to coordinate all of their speech and actions with each other, creeping Windchaser out a little bit. They were a few years younger than him, and they were just barely getting the hang of flying.
“Good morning, Pearl, good morning, Bracket. Aunt Sunny, what’s for breakfast?” Windchaser asked, feeling his stomach grumble. The yellow pegasus at the counter picked up a plate in her mouth and carried it over to the kitchen table, setting it down gently.
“Good morning, Windchaser. I’ve got some cinnamon toast here for everypony. Dig in!” The plate was stacked high with slices of toast, each glistening with a layer of sugar and cinnamon with a light coat of butter underneath. The twins both grabbed one each, nibbling on the corners. Windchaser’s uncle, Bullseye, grabbed a pair of slices and placed them on his plate. He leafed through the newspaper as he began chewing on one of his slices.
“Looks like the new district should be done by the end of the week, honey. I think I heard that we’re getting a good amount of ponies moving in here when it’s done.”
Sunny Days smiled at her husband and kissed him on his cheek. “Oh, good! It’ll be nice seeing more faces in town. It was wonderful of the Princesses to get us this house here in the first wave of construction, but the town was so empty aside from all the workers. I still can’t believe they wanted to build us a mansion of all things!”
Bullseye chuckled. “Yeah.” Switching his attention, Bullseye looked over to the blue pegasus, who was finishing his last slice of toast. “Say, shouldn’t you be on your way to school, young colt?” Bullseye said as he patted Windchaser’s back. His wings flared up in surprise at the impact, making him almost choke on his toast.
Fighting down his coughs, Windchaser put on a smile. “I was just about to head out!” Without giving any time for his aunt or uncle to say another word, he was out the door and in the sky.
“I swear. That colt is too much sometimes.” Sunny took a seat at the table, starting on the last slice of toast herself.
“He sure has changed in the last year. I thought he’d never get over what happened...” Bullseye said, solemnly.
“But he has. And I couldn’t be happier to see him smile again,” Sunny said as a speck of light reflected off the tear forming in her eye. She wiped it away with her hoof and took another bite of her toast.
Windchaser glided over the town as it was still waking up. He could see more and more colts and fillies slowly making their way towards the single school in the town as he flew, even recognizing a few of them. At first, Windchaser really didn’t like school, which seemed to be a common feeling among his classmates. All the boring homework and assignments never interested him in the slightest. During recess, he would often fly up, find a nice cloud, and take a short nap since all the ones he tried to take in class would get interrupted by the teacher.
One day a few months back, he saw a unicorn he recognized from his class getting harassed by some of the bullies from the grade above them. He swooped down to help the colt, but instead got his flank handed to him by the bullies. The unicorn attempted to help Windchaser out, but was left with a few bruises and some cuts on his legs as a result.
Rising to his hooves, the unicorn shook the dust from his coat and began chuckling. “That was fun!”
“Huh?” Windchaser stretched out his wings, checking to see if any of his feathers got torn out during the scuffle. They were ruffled, but all still accounted for. “Yeah, I suppose it was kinda fun.”
The red unicorn laughed and held out his hoof. “The name’s Nova. Next time, you should come in from above and take one of them by surprise, instead of going in from the front. Make it more of an even fight instead of being outnumbered,” Nova suggested.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Oh, I’m Windchaser by the way.”
Nova was Windchaser’s first friend from school. They got together every few days after school, playing around and wrestling with each other, as well as figuring out creative ways to get back at the bullies that bothered them so much.
“Maybe I can make their lunches explode while they’re trying to eat them!” Nova said, his eyes lighting up in glee.
“How in Equestria would you do that?” Windchaser asked, puzzled.
Nova’s brow dropped as he held a hoof towards his horn. “Duh.”
Windchaser brought a hoof to his forehead and sighed. “Right.”
Windchaser snapped back to reality, feeling the wind beneath his wings again. He scanned the small crowd of fillies and colts as he slowly descended, keeping his eyes out for Nova. Suddenly, Windchaser felt himself get pushed forward into the dirt from the air. He was quickly back on his hooves, and whirled his head left and right, his eyes looking for the faintest hint of red or orange in the group of ponies staring at him.
“Hya!” a voice called out from behind him. He beat his wings once, pushing himself forward a few feet as he heard the body crash into the dirt where he had just been standing. Windchaser turned around to see a red unicorn picking himself up from the ground.
“Maybe I should be quieter from now on,” Nova murmured as he walked up alongside the pegasus. Some of the ponies were still staring at the two of them, wondering what had just transpired.
“I could hear your hoofsteps even before you tried to tackle me,” Windchaser said, poking Nova’s belly with his hoof.
“H-Hey! I’ve been working with my dad with the construction! I’ve been losing weight!” Nova replied, defensively.
“Don’t listen to that featherbrain, Nova. You look just fine.”
“Oh, hey North Star. Thanks.” The dark blue unicorn trotted up between the two colts and glared at Windchaser.
“You should stop teasing Nova so much, Chaser. Who knows... one day you might be so chubby you couldn’t fly anymore,” North Star joked. Windchaser gulped nervously.
He and Nova met North Star a few weeks after the two of them finally got back at the bullies during lunch time. Nova’s spell worked perfectly, sending chunks of sandwich all over the lunchroom, drawing the laughs of everypony around. Unfortunately, the principal had seen Nova casting his spell, so they were both punished immediately when Windchaser tried to shift the blame for the idea on himself.
They were both sentenced to two weeks of detention each, to stay inside during recess. During their last day of detention, a unicorn was sharing the room with them. She had been trying to protect another filly from the same bullies that had been harassing Nova and Windchaser before they got their revenge. North Star had ended up hurting one of them pretty bad with an overpowered spell, earning her detention along with the two colts already there.
Windchaser and Nova promised to keep an eye on the bullies while North Star was in detention, making sure none of the younger ponies got hurt or harassed by them. Needless to say, they ended up in detention for another two week period the very next day.
The trio finally arrived at their classroom, each taking their respective seats. North Star sat behind Windchaser, and Nova sat next to her. They were roughly situated in the middle of the room among the rest of the desks. As the final colt took his seat, the teacher finally walked in through the door.
“Good morning, class!” she sang. Her students either had their eyes closed and trying to sleep, or were talking amongst themselves. “AHEM!” she said, clearing her throat loud enough to quiet the rest of the class. “I said ‘good morning’, and what do you say back to somepony when they say that to you? Hm?”
The class collectively groaned and responded in a staggered unison: “Good morning, Mrs. Feather.”
“That’s better!” the lavender mare said with satisfaction. “Well, class, today we are getting a new teacher for the school! He’s going to be teaching your science and history classes from this point on. You can come in now, Mr. Quill!”
Windchaser looked towards the door to see a dark green earth pony trot into the room. His mane was a pitch black, and was somewhat disheveled despite evidence of combing in parts of it. He placed his saddlebags beside the desk.
“Good mornin’, class. My name’s Inked Quill, an’ I’ll be teaching you lot science an’ human history.” His voice had a bit of an accent to it, drawing giggles from North Star.
“Your voice sounds funny!” she managed to say.
Mr. Quill smiled as he looked towards the filly. “An’ you have a funny voice yourself, missy.” It seemed like he was about to say something more as his mouth hung open, but he slowly closed it and shook his head briefly. His eyes jumped from North Star to Nova, then to Windchaser. “Nah...” he whispered to himself, before beginning his lecture.
“That was weird!” Nova whispered to both Windchaser and North Star. The two nodded in unison.
Windchaser sat in his chair and listened to Mr. Quill begin talking about Human History. “About thirty years ago, this planet was filled not with ponies, but with big monkey men.” The class giggled from the remark. “Oy! I was one of those ‘monkey men’ once. An’ so were most of your parents. Anyway, before the Princesses brought Equestria to Earth, it was a much different place back then.”
“Oy, uh,” Mr. Quill paused as he checked the roster on his desk. “Windchaser! Can you see me before you leave? I’d like to ask you something.” Windchaser looked to his two friends as they were leaving.
“Oh, uh, my parents wanted me home right after school anyway, Chaser. Gotta help my dad with some more construction! Bye!” Nova said before dashing off down the hallway.
“I’ll see you later Windchaser. I don’t think you did anything today to get another detention, so it’s probably nothing. Take care!” North Star trotted off down the hall in Nova’s wake. Windchaser watched as she walked out from the doors, barely catching himself from eyeing his friend.
“Ahem.” Mr. Quill stood at his desk, stuffing papers and books into his saddlebags as the pegasus walked to the desk.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked.
“Oh. Oh, no, nothing like that! I just wanted to ask you a quick question.” Mr. Quill paused for a second as he dropped his gaze to the floor. Picking it up again, he asked, “what’s your dad’s name?” Mr. Quill asked with a hint of nervousness.
Windchaser felt it in his throat. He felt it in his eyes, in his head, in his heart. He had no idea why somepony would ask about his dad, let alone his new teacher. He was having such a great day, and now it all came crashing down at this simple question. “My... dad... h-his name was Isaac.” Windchaser was struggling to hold his composure, keeping his tears firmly behind his eyes.
“You’re...! So Isaac made it out okay! Haha! Well I’ll be damned! It’s, me! Quincy! Isaac’s old friend! I knew you and your dad when you were still a foal!” Windchaser stared at the earth pony in confusion. “Did... did he not mention me? At all?” the pegasus shook his head. “Nothing about me or Will or Roxy?” Another shake of his head. “Alright. Well where is that bloke, nowadays? I haven’t seen him in years!”
Windchaser dreaded this. he was hoping so hard that Mr. Quill- Quincy- wouldn’t ask this. Mustering up every mote of courage he held Windchaser steadied his voice. “He’s gone. H-He stayed b-behind during t-t-the P-Purification.”
“What?! Why in the hell... Oh... Oh damn...” Quincy stopped himself as soon as he saw the colt physically trembling in place, his eyes firmly locked on the floor. “I-I’m so sorry, Windchaser. I didn’t mean to bring something this painful. Why don’t you get going. I shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m so terribly sorry.”
“I... I need to go.” Windchaser turned towards the door. He was losing the fight against the tears, and he didn’t want to break down in front of his new teacher, let alone a friend of his father.
“Do you think someday you can tell me about him? About Isaac? Everything you can remember? I’d like to know how he did. If it’s okay with you.” Quincy looked at the poor pegasus, who stood in the doorway.
Windchaser galloped down the hallway before he could respond, leaving Quincy in the classroom by himself. He cursed to himself and tossed his bags on his back.
“You just had to fucking do that, didn’t ya, Quincy? Gah. The poor kid probably hates me now. I gotta go make this right.”
Windchaser flew as fast as he could through the skies above town, hoping that nopony could see or hear him as he sped overhead. He was crying again. Crying harder than he had in months. He could have sworn he had gotten over this in the past. He had finally gotten over the death of his father, and now somepony comes in and reminds him all about it!
The colt breached the town’s border and flew further out along the forest. The massive sea of green stretched out in all directions around him. It was so unlike the forest he lived by when he was very young, living with just his dad and SyRE... the forest there was dark and scary. When he would sleep at night he could sometimes hear howls of the monsters who lived in the forest. He would snuggle closer to his dad for protection, who was always there to provide it for him.
“Dammit!” the colt screamed. He could feel his wings starting to cramp up, but through the blur the tears created in his eyes, he could make out his destination: a singular mountain rising above the sea of trees around it. There were trees up the back of the mountain, but the side facing Windchaser was a shear cliff of grey rock. On top of the mountain, there was a small grassy field, the forest staying clear and ending a short way before the peak.
Except for one tree.
A few weeks after the Purification, Windchaser had been incessantly pleading SyRE for where his dad was before he died. Eventually, SyRE gave him the coordinates where Isaac was to aid in his emotional recovery. The coordinates led him to the top of the very mountain just outside of his new town.
Windchaser dropped to his hooves on the soft grass on the peak, and fell further onto the ground. His chest was tight from the exertion, sweat trickled down from his mane onto the grass. After taking a few more moments to catch his breath, he dropped his saddlebags onto the grass and walked up next to the lone tree rooted on the summit.
“Hey, dad.”
When Windchaser had finally reached the mountain for the first time, he saw this exact scene: a singular oak tree standing on the very top of the mountain that his dad died on when the world was cured and rejuvenated. Windchaser was absolutely convinced that his dad, somehow, was that tree. It rose at least a hundred feet from the peak, reaching towards the clouds above.
“I... needed to see you again. I met somepony today, who said he knew you. He said his name was Quincy. He’s my new teacher at school. He asked me about you. I...” Windchaser began choking on his words. He sidled up next to the tree and sat down on the cool grass in the oak tree’s shadow and rested the side of his head against the bark. “I miss you so much, dad.
“I was finally getting better, too! I wasn’t crying every night like I used to, I didn’t need to come here every day just to get by without breaking down. I mean, I love coming here to see you!” the colt said, hastily. “Don’t get the wrong idea, I love seeing you! It was... just bad that I needed to see you every day to get by. I... I’m just glad I’ve had you to talk to all this time, whether you can hear me or not.”
Windchaser sat next to the oak tree in silence. “Nova and I finally convinced the teachers the other day to give those bullies detention after they saw them hurting a filly! North Star didn’t like letting the filly get hurt, but she was able to help heal some of her scratches with her magic after the bullies were taken to the Principal's office. It only took us a few months, but we got them!” Windchaser laughed as he thought of his two friends... but mostly about North Star.
“I... I wish you could help me out, dad... I think I like my friend, North Star. Like... i like her like her. She’s really pretty, she’s nice, and we get along... well, pretty well. She likes to make fun of me a bunch though... but I make fun of her too!” Windchaser broke into a silly grin thinking about her. “I remember seeing in some of those movies you and I watched about how human kids had crushes on each other... I wonder if it’s the same for ponies... I’ll have to ask Uncle Bullseye! He’d know!” Windchaser's spirits lifted more. He smiled and rested his head against the tree for a while, watching the clouds tenuously chug past. After a while, the clouds began taking on a yellower hue as the sun began to approach the horizon.
Windchaser rose to his hooves and stretched his limbs and wings out. He was well rested enough to make it back home without any breaks, and it was starting to get dark. Aunt Sunny would start getting worried if he didn’t leave for home soon. “I’m gonna get going, dad. I think I’m feeling a bit better, now that I got to talk to you again.” Pausing for a second, he continued, “and I think I'll talk to Quincy about what we did. Well, as much as I can remember, at least. He sure seems nice enough, even with his funny accent!”
Windchaser walked back to where he collapsed when he arrived and picked up his saddlebags, setting them in place. With a few beats of his wings, he rose in the air and hovered over the ledge of the cliff.
“Thanks for listening, dad. I’ll come back soon to see you again, I promise!” Windchaser smiled and tossed himself off the cliff. He felt the rushing of wind through his mane and tail as he hurtled down the cliff face, watching the trees rushing ever closer to meet him at full speed. At the last minute, he unfurled his wings, catching the speeding wind under them and rising up just above the canopy at an amazing speed. He steadily rose higher and higher above the trees and looked back at the mountain. A gust of wind must have been blowing, because it looked like the oak tree was waving all of it’s branches at him as he left.
Windchaser gently glided down to the front of his family’s house right as the sun was setting. The orange rays of the sun made his mane look a lot like Nova’s, making Windchaser chuckle a bit. He walked to the front door and nudged it open with his head, entering his house. Not a single light was on, giving the room a spooky darkness amidst the twilight.
“Hello? Anypony here?”
“SURPRISE!!” Windchaser was knocked to his rump from the sudden assault of light, color, nose, and not to mention the two winged bullets that crashed into his chest, knocking him back onto his rump.
“Happy birthday, Windchaser!” Pearl said.
“Happy birthday, Windchaser!” Bracket said.
“Wha- What’s going on?!” Windchaser muttered. He rose to his hooves, looking around at all the ponies gathered in the living room, all wearing party hats. He recognized them all as his classmates from school, and they were all smiling at him for the first time he could remember.
“Duh! It’s your birthday!” Nova said from behind him. Windchaser turned around to see his red friend wearing one of the hats himself. “Dude, you forgot it was your birthday?”
Windchaser brought his hoof up to his forehead so hard that it almost hurt. “I... guess I did?” he responded with a sheepish grin on his face.
“Happy birthday, Windchaser! I invited all of your friends for your birthday party! You’re sixteen today! You need to have an awesome birthday party when you’re sixteen!” Sunny said, wrapping her neck around the colt in an embrace.
“But... but I-”
“And where have you been? We were expecting you home an hour ago!" Sunny brought her head back with her brow furrowed in worry. "Oh, no matter! You’re here, everypony else is here, let’s have a good time! I have a cake to finish!” Windchaser’s aunt rushed back into the kitchen, almost knocking over a stack of pots and pans on the counter.
“This... was a surprise.” Windchaser said to himself.
“Well, isn’t that the general idea?” North Star trotted up behind Windchaser, smiling. “My birthday was a few weeks ago, but my parents didn’t do anything like this for me! I’m pretty jealous,” she joked.
"T-Thanks for coming, Star. I really mean it. Thanks." Windchaser gave the filly a smile. She looked over his shoulder, focusing on something behind him. Her horn started to glow with a blue light as he felt something placed on his head. He reached up to feel it, finding one of the party hats that his friends were all wearing.
“It's not a party without party hats!" North Star said, pausing for a moment. "Well, that's what my mom says. She's a party organizer in town. She helped your aunt with everything, but your aunt insisted on doing the cake herself," North Star giggled. "My mom says that she's been working on it all day, since you left for school, at least!" North Star burst into another fit of giggles, Windchaser joining her. As they both calmed back down, North Star looked at the ground and rubbed one of her hooves against her other leg. "A-And it certainly isn't a party without presents... a-and as for your present... I couldn’t find anything in town that I thought y-you’d like... so I... um...”
Before another word was said, North Star leaned over and gave a quick, gently kiss on Windchaser’s cheek. The colt felt his heart skip about ten beats, his cheeks burn with heat, and his head swim with a combination of surprise, joy, confusion, as well as a plethora of other indescribable thoughts and emotions. Her cheeks were a bright violet even under her dark blue coat.
“That was for helping me get those bullies at school... and, um, because... I... I kinda...” Before she could finish what she was about to say, she ran off into the crowd, disappearing from sight.
A massive wave of emotion crashed into the young colt. He felt his legs get replaced with jelly, threatening to fall out beneath him, should he try to move. He only just noticed, but his wings were stiffened on his back. He had no idea when they had gotten like that. Windchaser just wanted to collapse. He was suffering from far too much emotion all at once. But first, he needed to get something to drink.
He lazily walked over to the table with the drinks on it, trying desperately not to fall over from his still trembling legs. Windchaser opened his mouth to pick up one of the paper cups filled with juice, but paused for a moment to let his jaw stop shaking. When he felt the trembling cease, he picked up the cup with his teeth and arched his neck back, draining the sweet tasting juice in a few gulps. He dropped the red-stained cup in the garbage can next to the table and sunk into one of the cushions on the couch nearby.
“Du-u-u-u-ude!” Nova said as he took a seat next to him. “That was awesome! Nice going! You handled it real smooth. Like a pro.” Windchaser looked up at his friend, his mind still high from the experience. “Well, not really. But whatever! I’ll have you know, she’s had her eye on you for a good few weeks now.”
“What?!” Windchaser said, finally able to form a word with his mouth.
“Yeah. I sometimes catch her staring at you during class, during detention, between classes. Nothing creepy, just a few glances at you. More than just casual glances, I might add.” Windchaser stared at his friend, completely dumbfounded. “Yeah, just like that," Nova said, nodding. After a few moments, his smile faded, replaced by a frown. "Okay, now you’re overdoing it. Cut it out.” Nova pushed WIndchaser’s muzzle away, turning his head and bringing his consciousness back.
“Oh, sorry. I’m... kinda... in a strange place right now. Sorry.”
“Oh, it’s no prob. Hey! Enjoy the party! It’s for you! Oh, and the present with the red and white polka dot wrapping is from me... my mom didn’t have any other kind of paper for it. But you’ll like what’s inside, I’m sure of it.” Nova hopped off from the couch and walked off into the crowd. Windchaser sat still for a few minutes, milling over what had been happening in his mind.
“Mind if I take a seat, Windchaser?” Quincy sat down next to the colt, much to his surprise.
“Wha-... How-”
“Don’t worry. I went to your house after you left the school, wanting to apologize. I met your aunt and introduced myself as one of Isaac's friends. Once she knew who I was, Isaac having mentioned me in the past, so she invited for me to stay for your party.” Quincy rested his back against the cushion and took a deep breath.
“It’s okay. I forgive you. About earlier.” Windchaser smiled up at the stallion. “And I’ll talk to you about me and my dad someday soon, I promise. I’ll bring along SyRE, so he can tell you the stuff I forgot.”
“Isaac’s AI is still kicking, eh? Good thing he hated them in the first place, otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten the damn thing. How about this weekend? My house is just on the other side of town. We can sit down and talk. How does that sound?”
“That sounds great. I’d love to hear more about my dad!” Windchaser smiled. Quincy smiled and excused himself from the couch, leaving Windchaser by himself once more.
“Windchaser! There’s somepony at the door for you!” Sunny shouted over the crowd of fillies and colts.
Windchaser hopped from the couch and weaved through all of the party-goers towards the front door. His aunt was standing in the doorway, holding the door open for him. Outside stood two unicorns: one, with a white coat and an icy blue mane, and the other with a maroon coat and an orange mane. It took a few moments for it to register, but Windchaser’s jaw suddenly dropped as he remembered who these mares actually were.
“Do you mind, miss Sunny Days? My sister and I would like to have a private word with your nephew, if that would be okay,” the white mare asked in a pure, song-like voice.
“Why of course. Come back in when you’re done, Windchaser. Cake and presents should be happening soon!” Sunny closed the door behind her.
“P-P-Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! What-” he began in a hushed voice still filled with astonishment. The white unicorn brought a hoof to his mouth, cutting him off mid-sentence.
“Shh, shh. We can’t have anypony knowing we’re here, young Windchaser,” Celestia said. “We are merely here to wish you a happy birthday and offer you gifts for such a joyous occasion. Will you accept them?”
Windchaser’s jaw hung open once again. He was getting birthday presents from the immortal goddesses themselves? It would be sacrilege if he declined! Standing up straight, he puffed out his chest, trying to look as impressive as he could for the Princesses.
“Of course I will accept your gifts, your majesties.” Windchaser tried as hard as he could to sound dignified and respectful when he spoke.
A faint glow emanated from Celestia’s horn and a small spark fell to the ground. A bright flash formed where it landed. When the light faded, a small white box adorned with the golden sun insignia sat where the spark landed. “I offer this gift to you, Windchaser. I wish for many long years ahead of you and good fortune to meet you along them.” Celestia stepped back, letting Luna step forward in her place.
The maroon unicorn smiled as she stepped before Windchaser. “You’ve gotten bigger since I last saw you! Have you been practicing your flying?” Luna asked, playfully.
“Of course, your highness. Every day!” Windchaser allowed himself a proud smile as he flourished his wings for her.
Another spark formed at Luna’s horn this time, falling in a similar fashion that Celestia’s did. When the indigo light faded, a purple box decorated with a silver moon insignia sat next to the gift from her sister.
“Make sure you enjoy it, Windchaser. Happy birthday!” Luna levitated the two gifts and balanced them on Windchaser’s back, where his saddlebags usually sat. Luna stepped back and joined her sister. The white mare smiled and nodded at her sister.
“Goodbye, Windchaser. Enjoy the evening.” In a blinding flash of light, the two disguised princesses disappeared.
The door burst open behind the young colt, surprising him. Ponies stuck their heads out the open door and through the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of what just happened. “What happened?! We saw a flash of light out here! Are you okay?!” Bullseye asked, rushing over to Windchaser.
“It’s okay, Uncle. It was just... some friends of my dad’s.” Windchaser walked back into the house and past all the staring ponies. He reached over and grabbed each gift with his mouth, placing each on the table with the rest of his gifts. There were quite a few, more than Windchaser had ever expected.
“Why don’t you go ahead and open some of them? Your aunt is almost done with the cake. Go ahead, it’s okay,” Bullseye said, patting the colt on the back.
Windchaser decided to look for Nova’s present first. He found it immediately: red and white polka-dots. He ripped the wrapping paper off with his teeth, holding the box in place with his hooves. After he got the paper off and the box opened, he pulled out a small comic book entitled ‘Grognak: The Barbarian’.
“My dad used to collect comics when he was a human. He said this one was the pinnacle of his collection, and that it’s one of the two copies he brought with him to Equestria. He gave both to me, so I decided to give this one to you! I hope you like it!” Nova nodded at Windchaser, wearing a smile.
“Thanks a lot, Nova. It means a lot to me,” Windchaser said, giving his friend a hoof-bump. Windchaser placed the comic book on the table as his uncle trotted up next to him with something resting around his neck.
“Here you go, Chaser. This one is from me. I know it’s not much, but it served me tremendously well in the past.” Bullseye handed Windchaser a tough brown satchel. It was old, but the faded emblem of the Equestrian Mail Service was still visible. He opened the flap and peered inside. The bag was very spacious, as it needed to be so for the deliveries his uncle needed to do. “Happy Birthday, kiddo.”
Windchaser went through most of the rest of the presents, thanking his classmates for each of the gifts. Before long, only three remained. The first was the one from Princess Celestia. Opening the top of the box, Windchaser looked inside and pulled out a letter adorned on a regal parchment scroll.
Clearing his throat, Windchaser read it out loud: “I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, hereby honor Isaac Hamilton, father of the pegasus Windchaser, with this Medal of Valor. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to not just stare one’s own demise in it’s eye, but to be forced to leave behind the one you love without reservation could break any human or pony. May Isaac’s son wear it with pride, knowing he is and always will be the son of his father.”
Not a single pony spoke. They all just stared at the blue colt in amazement at the honor he had just received. Not even Nova could say anything, which Windchaser joked to himself that it was the first time the unicorn stopped talking for any extended period of time.
Windchaser opened the small blue case sitting inside the white box, revealing a shining medal hanging from a golden ribbon. The medal itself was in the shape of a blazing sun, and indeed gave off its own glow in the dim light of the room. Windchaser closed the box, not wanting to dirty the honor presented to him for his father. He was certain to treasure both the letter and the medal for as long as he lived.
Windchaser placed the scroll and medal case back in the box they came in, gently placing the lid back on. He pulled the other box closer to him, inspecting the contents as he opened the lid. There was a sealed envelope and another scroll inside Luna’s box. Repeating the process that he used for Celestia’s gift, he read Princess Luna’s letter aloud:
“Dear Windchaser: While my sister has granted you and your father the highest honor that either of us can grant a human or pony, I give these to you: first is five tickets to the Wonderbolts show in Canterlot this year for the annual Grand Galloping Gala. The second is a private three day training camp I arranged for you personally with the three leaders of the Wonderbolts; Spitfire, Soarin, and Rainbow Dash. I hope you enjoy these gifts. Yours truly, Princess Luna.”
Windchaser felt his head almost float away in a dizzying high when he finally understood what he had read out loud. While they were more directly useful than Celestia’s gifts, they both were absolutely amazing in terms of what they were.
Silence befell the group as Windchaser reached over for the last gift. It was unmarked, no name for who it was from on the box. Regardless, Windchaser opened the plain box and saw only two things inside. The first was a pair of goggles; authentic Wonderbolts goggles! He had wanted a pair for as long as he could remember!
The second was a short note. All it read was this:
fly as fast as that comet!
Windchaser felt the tears returning in full force. And there was no use in stopping them. He let the emotions overflow and consume him as he fell into wracking sobs, the kind of which he hadn’t felt since the day his father was taken from him. He held the goggles close to his chest, cradling them there as the memories that he and his father shared all came surging back to him. The words they shared the night he earned his cutie mark:
“About a million miles an hour. It’s pretty fast.”
“Then you know what?”
“What’s that, Windchaser?”
“I’m gonna learn how to fly faster than a comet!!”
But before he could release his emotions any more, the lights in the room dimmed to almost darkness. A deafening silence fell in the room. Slowly and quietly, the ponies around him all joined in song.
“Happy birthday to you...”
His aunt Sunny was pushing out a small cart with a cake sitting on top. Several glowing candles were lit, offering the only light for the room. Shadows danced along the walls in a bewitching pattern as the cart rolled closer.
“... happy birthday to you...”
Windchaser felt somepony move in and stand next to him on his left. It was his best friend Nova, grinning like a maniac.
“... happy birthday, dear Windchaser...”
Another body stood next to him. He felt the warmth as it rested against the side of his body and his wing. He looked to his right to see the luminous smile of North Star. Windchaser leaned his body a bit closer to her, feeling more of their bodies in contact. His heart was fluttering again, but not so much that his mind was lost to it.
“... happy birthday to you!”
Cheers erupted throughout the room as the cart was placed before the colt. He looked down at the cake, reading the message written in icing:
Happy Birthday Windchaser
The room faded once more to silence.
Windchaser took a deep breath. He knew he had a wish. But he also knew that the one wish he had could never fully come true. His father was gone, and there wasn’t anything changing that.
So he thought about what he wanted.
He had a loving family in Sunny Days, Bullseye, Pearl, and Bracket. They loved him without hesitation, welcoming him into their family.
He had his best friend, Nova, who would stick with him through thick and thin.
He had the one filly he cared deeply for and wanted to keep close to his heart for as long as he could imagine, North Star.
So he made another wish. One that he knew for a fact that he was sure he wanted. He spoke it to himself in his mind and was happy with what it was. And he blew out the candles, repeating the wish in his head.
Comments ( 100 )
That's not the original epilogue...
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*Sigh* But you are the author... and it was alright... but I still think the original was better...
Oh well...
Gorgeous, I never saw the original epilogue but the one up now is perfect, I just read the whole thing in one shot and.... yeah I'm a little mixed up emotionally. Good show, this is a favorite of mine now.
I do not know, it was good enough ending with a 'happy ending' persay, but, it feels like something is missing, like there is more that has not been touched on yet.
Quill's clone was never mentioned as serviving, or being killed, leaving a hole in the epilog.
In truth, I am expecting there might be a sequal to this story, though I do not know for sure. There are too many loose ends that need to be tied up, and having pulled so hard at peoples heartstrings for poor Windchaser, we want to see him having a good future. Allmost a little something, 30 years in the future, a little scene, Windchaser, and his family, up on that mountian, talking, as Wind tells his own foals his personal history, and how he came to be the stallion he is. Tieing the loose ends up, giving closure, if you will, to the readers.
I will say this for sure: I don't plan on writing a sequel. What happens after the epilogue is up to the reader.
Regarding Quincy's clone: Frank ordered it destroyed once Quincy was forcibly ponified in the interrogation room. Frank's sanity was questionable at best at that point, so his decision making abilities were already beginning to break down.
While I did write the older epilogue first, I didn't like how I did it then. It was rushed, had clunky story progression, and was poorly thought through. Though my main issue with it was that it was only downhill after the final scene from the main story. No real emotional pull at any point in the old epilogue. I decided to remedy this in this new version, playing it out through a new progression of events and culminating with the birthday party. I feel much better with the way it ends with this updated epilogue than how I did with the old one.
That was amazing ![]()
It was as sad as My little Dashie.
But I do agree with Alyeskabird, that would be a good idea for a sequal to give closure, but hell, I ain't the author, you are, and I sure as sugar know that I couldn't come up with something as near as wonderful as this story has been. ![]()
this is the first time i have lost for words in a literal sence, When i finished this i actually couldn't speak for two minutes
Sorry to break it to you... but the story is completely finished. I will not be writing any more chapters for it.
As for the original epilogue... it followed the new epilogue for the most part until lil'WC got home. Instead of the party, SyRE played him the recording of his father's interview with Twilight. The next day, he realizes that both of his best friends are the clones of his father's dead friends and his teacher is the only one still alive. Twilight comes by to explain everything, and that's about it. If you really want to read it yourself, you can check my deviantart profile (windchaser1.deviantart.com) and check my gallery. It should still be in there somewhere.
Wow, I mean just wow. I've only been on this fiction site for a few days worth, but never in my years of fiction reading have I felt something so touching and dramaticly awesome in my life. I mean, when Isaac first thought of Will for the first time I completely baffled how powerful your writting felt. Nice going of this story even though I'm most likely late with replys seeing the finnish date. But still, can't wait to read your other fictions you made. Soo... with that over with the last thing I want ask is this... BRO-HOOF ME BRO!
This is Limbo signing off.
I always wanted to say that...
Beautiful. There is no work more suiting for such an amazing piece of art. Every emotion that could've possibly been displayed was, and to perfection. I always doubted the idea of TCB, but this, this is truly magnificent. Well done, sir, a work of art.![]()
This was the right time for me to stumble across this. It's been rough, weird few weeks for me, and it hit the right chords to put things in perspective. Thanks, really.
I cried man tears at this.
This is by far the greatest fic ever written and a true cornerstone for
the entire legion of bronies who have read (and share my feelings about) this
masterful piece of literature.
In the end, there is only one feasible reaction to this artwork.
Brohoof.
0.0 /)(\ 0.0
Just one more thing, the names kind of irks me....
Isaac-(Newton) Alexander-(Hamilton)
Roxy (John)-Adams
(John)-Quincy-(Adams) Jacobs
William (Penn or Shakespeare) Rathmore
I kind of thought of links between the names ![]()
Windchaser, your story has tugged on my heartstrings tonight. It was truly an amazing story, and had it been a book I would buy a copy. I really gotta say that this story was the best I have seen out of any fanfic I have ever read so far. From the moment that I started reading I was hooked. And I must say that I am very glad that I happened to have chanced upon it. Personally I can only wish that perhaps Isaac's immunity to ponification had been effected oddly by the purification, causing him to have become a pony rather than died. That being said however I think you ended it succinctly. My hat is off to you both as a brony and a writer.
I have mixed emotions after reading this story. I cried, and I rarely cry over text on a screen. I love this fanfic, so touching, so depressing yet it has a feeling of peace and joy no matter what was happening. I was hooked when I got to the middle of the first chapter. I couldn't speak for ten minutes when I hit the end, I was simply amazed. I won't be able to get this fanfic off my mind for a couple of weeks now because it just planted itself into my memory.
You're an astonishing writer who deserves a billion bro-hooves.
I do have some questions though. Did Windchaser ever find out that he was a clone? Did he ever find out everything about his father? And how did Quincy survive?
Awesome. I'm 13 and have been reading fanfics for several years now and being a brony has opened up so many things to read. In the hundreds upon thousands of words of fanfics I have read, this is the first one to make me sob into my pillow at 12 AM. I loved every bit, especially the ending. I loved the characters, the plot, and everything else. I hope I don't think of this at school tomorrow, or I'll tear up in the middle of class.
I can answer the question about Quincy with certainty: he was rescued from the IHSA base after the bombing the night that he was forcibly transformed. The other two questions I did not explicitly state in the epilogue, but for all intents and purposes, yes he does find out. I don't plan to expand on it much, however. I wanted to include it in the epilogue, but I saw no place to put it. But yes, he does indeed find out from SyRE from listening to the recordings of Isaac's interview.
My english isn't so good, but I will try to say, you are amazing, so many emotions....I read all in one breath, and I'm still...emocionado, fiquei dentro da história, podia até ver os personagens, as vozes...oh, sorry, well, just congratulations, this is great
You have all my respect
This was... wow, all I can say for the last few chapters alot of manly tears were shed.
You deserve a metal for this, work of art.
Kept me riveted from the beginning strait through the Epilogue. Very well done.
The story flowed well, with good pacing, had a great mechanic with the whole interview, amazing characters - what more could I ask for? It sure beats up the three-hundred page paperbacks I usually read! The only bad part is now I have to find something else to read!
As much as i try to say what i feel right now, i can't, simply because the story, the lovely characters that seemed to be alive, everything has shattered my heart as it ended. Not on the bad way though. On the good way that i enjoyed so much reading this, that i shared emotions whith the characters and had a feeling of loss when someone died or got hurt.
I must say that you, as a writer, acomplished your mission: i felt the story as if it was real, i got emotional, and iust thank you for that, sicerely.
I also cried so much when Isaac and Windchaser were separated that i couldn't talk for hours, the story was into my head replaying, but i also laughed so much when they were having fun, i was happy for them. I created such connection with a character on this story like never before, no other fanfiction or book ever did this to me, and that is why i consider this the best fanfic i've ever read.
Thank you so much again for writing this and if anyone ask me for a story, i'll recomend this one without hesitation
I read the fic a few days ago, managed to hold back the manly tears that started forming in Chapter 6 until...
**SPOILERS***
... Windchaser opened the gift from his dad, and that just took a sledgehammer to the emotional dam. A truly moving piece of writing. 5 stars, and I hope to see more from you in the future
if you'll excuse me, i have something in my eye. ![]()
manly tears were shed,
awesome story.
I will read this soon, just not till I have the time alone to shed manly tears away from watchful eyes.
This story made me cry... I agree with cloudhammer. The setting kinda reminds me of Stephen King's "The Running Man", but while his story took on a dark tone and ending, yours ended on a bittersweet note. Very well paced, and touching. Kudos to you Windchaser.
Very deep and emotional story, I must tell you that after reading this I had a VERY realistic dream of ponification of myself (was a pegasus), when I woke up, I had to double take make sure it wasn't real (though i wish it was). but your story is definitely my #1 Favorite!
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Honestly, I haven't cried like that since my dad actually died back in march,,, I just realized he died only days after his birthday...![]()
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Bravo, Best fan fic that I've ever read of any fanbase.
I legitemately had a dream as I read this over 2 nights and I was in Issac's shoes as the guard... I woke up with many a tear in my eye.
A work of art that deserves more praise that I could ever give it. Respect-filled Brohoof!
Mere words cann't explain how much i liked this fanfic
It was an awesome history ![]()
too bad it left some things "unexplained" ![]()
sorry for the bad english, it is not my main language.
good, except there was one small thing i noticed. you wrote that a car had a full tank for years, that fuel would have been deteriorated. or more correst, it would not be able to be used. but except for that i loved it!
I cried more I don't know why but parent and child fics always make me cry My little Dashie did make me cry more
My good sir. I have read some of the most disturbing grimdark to come out the hooves of my fellow bronys, I have read some of the most emotional work that I believe I will evener experience. You have done more than anything else has for me before, you made me cry tears, both of sadness and joy at once, not jsut a few, but many, and that does not happen often with me.![]()
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This is perhaps one of the best stories that I have ever read. I look forward to your future work.
Thank you, just..thank you.
A masterpiece in its own right. Even with minor spelling, I was blown away. I look up to you and hope to be half the writer you are one day.
Remember reading this one a few weeks ago through an old link on EqD and rediscovered it here on FiM Fiction. This fic was increadible. When the story finally ended, I think my mind went blank for a few minutes. In my book this fic is among the very top of all Conversion Bureau fics and I've read a lot of them.
The most distressing part with this fic was scrolling down the page, because each line you passed reminded me that I was coming ever closer to the end. Opening the last chapter was a painful process, because one knew that this was it, the last chapter in a great story. The end was written with style and the characters were sent off with dignity, a deed worthy of a great round of applause.
Now that I've found your account Windchaser, I'll start to keep an eye on your other works and future stories. You are an author worth keeping an eye on.
Read this one a while ago. Keep coming back to it though, I want to read it again but forget everything about it so I can experiance the same incredibility as I did when I first read it. If that make ANY sense ![]()
Seriously though well done. I keep coming back to this page and looking at the comments.
One day I shall read it again ![]()
I can't even begin to describe how amazing this story is, the ending is heartbreaking and epic, this would make an amazing movie. ![]()
Well, here I am at last, writing that promised comment on your most unique story.
When I first began reading fanfiction I was unsure what entirely to expect; of course I understood that I would come across many an unsavory and badly written piece not to mention those which I shall only call "Melange" I was actually quite unthinking and inconsiderate as to what I was getting myself into.
I was bored you see, and boredom is the instigator of so very many thoughtless follies played out by millions every single day.
Since then I have recognized to some degree the total and utter futility of my original enterprise.
However I persevere (to an extent) and here I find myself commenting on one of those outstanding works which holds dignity, respect and virtue while at the same time not in the least lacking in neither story, grammar nor style.
This tale, though it did not bring me where I had not been before, took me further into the contemplation and reasoning which is one quality that I truly value in any artist's work.
The idea, great and therefore not left unexplored, is still executed in such a special yet completely comprehensible fashion that I think it stands out in the admittedly lacking and pitiful amount of texts which I have read so far as one of the very best.
I did not want to write a comment of unbound praise (and I do try to avoid such things when my horribly dense mind does go so far as to extrude mindless and mind numbing collections of words which I would hesitate to insult the proper definition by calling them sentences) nevertheless there is little to belittle this story aside from it's quirks in geographical and cultural depiction it is not perfect (no story I have yet read is).
I did not agree with all points and details in the story itself (but this is a desired and almost requirement for good works of literature).
The setting is laid apparently in a world not entirely in left dystopian legacy. Though decline and decay prevails what is lacking is rampant and inevitable pessimism shown in most (if not all) the works of >>Chatoyance yet all is not lost (or rather the contrary) The natural world is still coming to a close [mostly] caused by the human race.
Neither does this tale contain the grim warlike future depicted in the style of "Ten rounds" and "Ten minutes" though we do meet a sort of compromise with the PER.
As such I am not one easily swayed in all that emotional "I tearzed eaverywhare" and "This was the bestest story ever! I gave you eleventyone starz"
In fact not a single story has (as you can see on my listing) caused me tears and neither have I rated a single story on this site.
However I will thank you for your artistic input, it is things like this which give value and purpose to the "ART" I earnestly appreciate it.
If you do complete more writing I will be eager to read it in order to see what other good things are to be shared this was for me among the very best of fanfiction. (but of course never The best)
As an afternote, though I did not actively search for irregularities and such (neither am I sufficiently qualified to do so) I noticed two particular errors:
Having downloaded the .txt file and pasted this into a word document that is how I read the story (as I do with most these days)
#1 on page 273 (of 291) "... I wish you could help me out, dad... I think I like my friend, North Star. Like... i like her like her ..."
#2 on page 201 (of 291) "...Two majestic winged pegasi, Alicorns, stood before him..." The fact being that I believe you intended to say Unicorns as pegasi are by nature winged so winged pegasi are in no way abnormal, winged Unicorns however...
(Oh yeah and looking back at my post I apologize in advance for spurting words like that, sometimes it just happens to me :| )
I liked this story. I do have one question though. Couldn't they have sent him into outer space for the purification spell then let him come back when it was done? Sending him to the moon might have saved him...and ruined a fantastic ending. Sorry just being stupid here.
A'wwww so touching! Isac and Will bros even after there dead they still live on as there clones, and Quincy that lovable irish guy
Wow, I'm loving this story. Shame it had to end, but then again everything does eventually. Definitely one of my new favorites. Excellent job, Windchaser!
Masterpiece indeed. Excellent job! Best TCB spinoff there is. Heck better than the TCB itself!
great story mate
, but i have to say one of the main things that stood out to me was the Grognak the Barbarian comic
lets just hope the knock out drops in the nuka-cola worked
Im leaving now i HATE storys with sad endings ive been crying for 1 hour i started at chapter 6![]()
wow... glad to see everything worked out but, still i sorta wished i hadn`t read the epilogue. the original ending in chapter 6 was just so...well, as close to perfect as i can imagine. if you ever write anymore more stories please tell me i would love to read them. As a final thought, i am wondering why this has 13 dislikes. The only reason i could think of which would cause someone to click the button would be that the tears in their eyes blinded them and made them miss the like button.
P.s. I`m quite sure that this is one of the very best fics out there. The only rival i can possibly think of would be the original Fallout:Equestria.
wow... glad to see everything worked out but, still i sorta wished i hadn`t read the epilogue. the original ending in chapter 6 was just so...well, as close to perfect as i can imagine. if you ever write anymore more stories please tell me i would love to read them. As a final thought, i am wondering why this has 13 dislikes. The only reason i could think of which would cause someone to click the button would be that the tears in their eyes blinded them and made them miss the like button.
P.s. I`m quite sure that this is one of the very best fics out there. The only rival i can possibly think of would be the original Fallout:Equestria.
.....Wow. You sir have truly out done yourself. No words would be suitable to express my gratitude, so none shall be said, but thank you.
One of the great pieces of TCB literature. Almost makes me wish the Equestrian Isle would just show up already. This story touched me personally, having seen what horror mankind is capable of, and it gives me the hope that love, acceptance, and the magic of friendship might be enough to save this world after all, if we put aside the petty differences of nation, race, and class, and acknowledge that we are all one people, all living under the same bright sky. But the way Isaac greeted his end...masterful.
damn u i was at school when i read this and it brought tears to me eyes![]()
now i gotta go kick the crap outa mah ''best freind'' before he spreads a rumor
that im a crying baby or some crap ![]()
well good story i can see my freind and theres a baseball bat next to me....... perfect![]()
10/10 for making me shed manly tears ![]()
It takes a hell of a lot to reduce me to tears. Congratulations, your story has joined the group of 7 things to date that made me cry. ![]()
This is definitely my favourite Conversion Bureau fic. The characters are interesting and for the large part 3-dimensional which is a straight-away tell for a great piece of fan-fiction. Furthermore, the plot is believable and flows well from setting to setting, addressing some of the key issues of the Conversion Bureau universe as it does so.
However, the masterpiece of the text is Isaac's death; the emotional impact and imagery is beyond discription.
So, thank you for writing such a captivating and memorable story ![]()
WARNING: a wall of text below. ![]()
Taking a second look at Last Man Standing
or
how the stuff you read alters your perspective.
Last Man Standing is widely known as an example of ‘balanced’ TCB fiction. In other words, it is a story even people who can't stand typical TCB will stomach. It is also regarded just as a good story, by itself - that's the general public opinion, and so was mine as soon as I got to read this piece of fiction.
It has been some time. I've read a lot of ponyfics since then, and a good share of them were TCB stories. Some good, some bad, the recurring themes and commonly used tropes started to make my eyes sore, and I decided to refresh my memory and return to a story which I remembered as an original and just pleasant reading.
Now, I'd like to warn beforehand that, as I said, when I'd first read this fic, I thought it's a good story, and I still think it is. I'll explain that a bit later. The point I'm trying to make here is that now I see a lot of things in a different light; or, rather, I see some things I didn't notice at all, back then.
They aren't necessarily all weak points or unanswered questions - it's just notes about things I didn't pay much attention, at first, but now they've become very apparent.
So, here's what I saw on my second read:
1) One thing that is noticeable immediately from the start of the story is that it doesn't try to arbitrary judge anyone. Unfortunately, believe it or not, after so many of TCB and anti-TCB stories alike, that's just like a gulp of fresh air.
Any assessment of the situation or the characters' actions is given from the other character's POV - primarily Isaac, of course, and he's a pretty forgiving and balanced guy.
2) The story isn't based on the typical 'expanding magic bubble' idea. Although at the time the fic was written, it probably wasn't that trite yet; in fact it is closer to the original idea - but still, now it looks refreshing.
Though Equestria is still off-limits to humans due to 'magical radiation', but it doesn't advance on the rest of the planet, just sits where it is.
That alone makes a huge difference - it means that no one is forced into Conversion (at first, at least - until PER attacks, and later, the preparations to carry out the Purification begin), and the majority of the population decides to give up their species willingly.
3) Isaac's moral compass during his work at IHSA laboratories seems... a bit off. Maybe even not 'a bit'. That's curios, actually, because in TCB stories it's usually the ponies who do very questionable things and get away with it. Here we've got a similar situation with a human protagonist.
Let's see: upon arrival, he soon learns that the place is run by a former HLF leader, who's also rallying all kinds of chauvinists and thugs around himself. Well, perhaps he convinces himself that they are, too, a part of humanity they're trying to rescue.
Then, he learns that IHSA abducts, mutilates and eventually tortures and kills ponies. He doesn't do (or try to do) anything about it, just observes them taken away to their deaths day after day. That's the man whose beloved sister is a converted pony, mind you.
Now, I'd like to say this isn't realistic, but unfortunately, history has proven such a 'concentration camp guard' mentality to be perfectly viable. People don't behave reasonably and logically all the time. However, if the person isn't completely desperate so that he has nowhere else to go, or isn’t just plain indifferent to the prisoners' fate (obviously not the case here), there must be some sort of motivation to keep him going.
To Isaac, since his talk on the beach with Erika, such a motivation had been his wish to do 'something' to ensure humanity's survival. Then, he arrives at the IHSA Fort, and what is he made to work at? A sleeper agent, a magic-resistant weapon of assassination or, if that fails, just a walking bomb - a tool of terror, from any point of view.
That's... pretty distant from what we was hoping to participate in. Remember, in this realm ponies hadn't done anything to endanger humanity directly (except for the fact of their existence), so there's no way to view the creation of these clones other than as an unprovoked assault on ponykind (heh).
The author even lampshades all that in a phone talk between Isaac and Erika/Sunny Days, when she asks "Why do you keep working for them?", but no real explanation is given.
Remember I earlier said that that the story is not trying to judge anyone? Well, that doesn't mean the characters can't state their opinions and realistically act on them.
So IMO it was about time Isaac got up and left for good, at least. Or maybe tried to get away, only to to be captured and forced to continue his work. And either way, I fully expected Twilight to call him out on this when they got to that point of his narration. Her reaction? "Poor Isaac". I just ![]()
Then there's Erica/Sunny Days who probably should've been severely repulsed by her brother taking part in such atrocities. Although it's quite possible he never told her the full story.
Anyway, the fact that forcing medical experiments on living sapient beings is, you know, wrong was brought up only once - in the first talk between Isaac and the Princesses. He got very mildly berated, and that was the end of it.
As for Isaac himself, well, it's clear he's not proud of that part of his biography, but he's somewhat remorseful throughout the whole narrative, so this part of his story (probably the most horrific experience) doesn't stand out at all.
Though eventually he did leave, it was well after he completed, cynically speaking, a weapon prototype which well could be used to spread more death and misery. Speaking of which...
6) The way Roxy and Isaac immediately fell in love with their own ponified clones was a little creepy. Or, rather, in Isaac's case it felt more gradual and natural and was a little creepy. With Roxy, considering what happened next, it's been downright terrifying - though it's partly justified by having her two children stolen right from under her nose and all that, but it still gives me shivers.
7) Throughout the course of the whole story we cannot forget that Windchaser (the pony, not the author) was created as a living weapon that can be extremely dangerous whenever magic is used in close proximity to him.
In fact, one is left to wonder how did everything with Isaac and Windchaser went so smoothly while Roxy’s clone killed its ‘mother’ in mere minutes upon being released from the tank. Of course, this could be attributed to the fact that those were unicorn foals, providing themselves with the necessary magic 'pumping', while Windchaser is a pegasus. Earlier, however, an earth pony foal is mentioned, which absorbed the unicorn doctor’s magic and killed its mother during birth. So Windchaser could've been okay while he lived with his father, but as they moved into the city with other ponies, including unicorns, some unfortunate accidents were bound to happen.
Later, while Isaac is deciding which files he wants to keep in SyRE’s memory, we learn that a special serum is required to activate these ‘anti-magic’ (or, rather, magic-absorbing) genes. Hmm, but Roxy's and Will's clones had no problem vaporizing themselves and frying their respective victims right out of the tank. So this plot point remains somewhat unclear and controversial.
8) Fun fact: Will’s clone, apparently, somehow learned to speak English while sitting in the cloning tank.
9) The state in which the planet is - presumably, damaged beyond repair - is pretty much an 'informed condition'.
This is probably the story's biggest weakness because it spawns some unfortunate implications. On several occasions, we are told that Earth is polluted, poisoned, the biosphere is ruined in such a way that the Purification spell is the only possible way to salvage it.
Yet the actual world, as shown in the fanfic, has nothing to support these claims. No radiation, acid rains, poisoned soils, etc.
Forests and fields grow and thrive just fine, ponies settle down in the old human cities, humans live in the rural areas without any sort of special protection or life-support gear - up to the point when an IHSA 'Fort' is kinda like an oversized open camping site.
A Red Plague pandemic is occasionally mentioned, and it is supposed to be deadly and contagious, but no one (none of the humans, I mean; ponies are immune) seems to be taking any precautions against getting infected.
And if the locations where the story takes place all belong to a kind of ecological and social ‘oasis’, at least a relative one - why didn't we see masses of refugees from less fortunate zones, who didn't want to become ponies yet, streaming into it? If that was the case, then the human population of other continents would diminish, but that of North America would remain more or less the same, or it would drop and then stabilize at a certain level. Furthermore, if its just certain parts of the world that needs fixing - why not modify the Purification spell so that it wouldn't affect stable areas of Earth, similarly to how Equestria wasn't touched?
In fact, I can't blame Windchaser (I mean, the author, not the pony ) for not wishing to turn his world into a hellhole, but as a result, at some point the reader might ask a perfectly justified question: was casting that spell, 'The Purification', which basically will rebuild the world from scratch outside Equestrian borders - was it really that necessary?
It requires a very specific mindset to raise such a question - a mindset of a person who has read too many TCB fics, I suppose? A 'normal' reader will have very little motivation to dwell on such things at that point (about the end of the fic). Still, if the question was asked, the person reading this fic may suddenly find surprisingly little motivation to answer ‘yes’. And if he doesn't, then it means the whole story is keeled over and can bee seen from a very different point of view (labeled ‘grimdark’), which obviously isn't something the author intended or expected.
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So. Having said all that, does that make Last Man Standing a somewhat... overrated piece of fiction? I don't really think so. No written story is perfect, any of them has its weak points and blank spaces. Naturally, the story or the author weren't necessarily obliged to explore these areas; that could've substantially altered the mood of the story.
A distinctive trait of a good story is, precisely, that the reader is willing to overlook or excuse these questionable parts of the narrative. In fact, I noticed some of the things mentioned above already when reading it for the first time, but they didn't really bother me. In Last Man Standing, these rough edges are very well rounded - of course, it's still up to the reader to harness the necessary 'suspension of disbelief', but for most people, the story doesn't really demand a lot in order to enjoy it.
Thank you very much for your analysis, it does mean a lot to me to hear it from someone else rather than my own mind.
For your criticisms of some of the plot points of the story, I will say that I can attribute them to a combination of laziness and lack of patience. The whole question of "Why do we need the Purification?" was one of my main issues I had with it when looking back. I tried to justify it with the Red Plague becoming a threat to both Equestria and the ponies there through mutations brought on by magic, but when I was trying to meld that in during the major rewrite, it seemed to fall off to the side and I just didn't care to work on that as much as other things.
I wish to do one last effort to write in a few scenes in those time jumps; namely the times between Isaac's parents leaving him to when he and Will leave for the IHSA, and the 'internment camp guard' time. Within both of these spans of time I hope to flesh out the world and, for the most part, address the criticisms that you and likely a few others had with the story.
But to address your points one by one, let's see:
1. I mainly tried to not to force anything on the reader; it is simply a story of a man in a trying time and the circumstances of how he got to the place he is now. Both sides are good and bad at the same time; this is something I wish to expand on as well during the time jumps.
2. I wasn't a fan of the whole expanding barrier idea in the beginning. I thought it was much more plausible and more an unfortunate circumstance of Equestria's emergence rather than the Princess' desire to keep their world clean of humans.
3. Isaac is unfortunately very impressionable and not independent in the least. He follows others and doesn't often think for himself, which was why Will was surprised and in disbelief when he first suggested going to the IHSA, and later on, leaving. I also wish to address the lack of outrage, or at least shock from Twilight during the interview; it does need to be in there and I'm surprised I didn't include it in the first place.
4. Didn't see this one or a #5... maybe I'm just blind.
6. Yeah, Roxy wasn't in her right mind at the time... she was essentially given a second chance with a new child. She was pretty much broken when her husband left with her own kids before, so having another was something that brought back the pain and shock of the event.
7. Maybe I should've made it more clear, but the genetic experiments were to give the foals a more moldable genetic structure after conversion; something common with each of them that could be turned into the gene for magical absorption. Until then, they are perfectly normal.
8. During the episode 'Baby Cakes', it's shown that infant ponies are capable of many things, limited speech included. I do not believe the tern 'daddy' is outside the realm of possibility.
9. This is the thing I wish to address in the ten-year time jump while Isaac and Will are at the house. It would revolve around Isaac's miscellaneous jobs, and would show the state of the world through his work and various other means. I do not know when I'll get around to this, however.
Thank you again for your exhaustive analysis. I greatly appreciate it.
Regarding points 4 -5 - no, that's just the usual thing which happens when I try to 'quickly wrap up' a long post in-between 3 and 4 a.m. ![]()
3. Oh well, then it's probably just my desire to see Isaac better than he is - you know, with him being the last representative of human species, WIndchaser's father, the narrator's voice and things like that)
Although seriously, in his place I still would've considered the possibility of escape pretty early. Maybe would've done some reconnaissance around the fort, innocently probed the security a few times - probably only to find that, with me being on a top-secret research team PLUS the recent incident with Erica, the guards have become unnaturally alert to my presence, and it's virtually impossible to get past the outer perimeter without raising suspicion.
In fact, the more I think about it, the clearer it is to me that Isaac had two primary options of dealing with the situation. He could use that protected line SyRE provided him with to contact some Equestria officials, maybe even the Princesses themselves, or just tell Erica what's going on in detail and let her sound the alarms. In that case, he would've brought about the end of IHSA and all of organized human society with his own hands.
Or he could shut up, stay put and wait for some sort of external resolution. That he did.
Of course, he could always risk it and try to get out anyway... Fortune favors the bold (fools). Or that's what the proverb says. The IHSA couldn't let go of someone who knows what they're up to. That PER attack that followed minutes after his escape was insanely convenient, otherwise Isaac probably wouldnt've gotten too far away. I don't see him as a kind of person who would take such chances, again - not without some strong motivation... Which he eventually received.
BTW, did I mention how much I liked the way that scene with the guards and Quincy finally snapped Isaac out of his unnatural bliss? Because I loved it.
So, after some research, we come to a conclusion that Isaac's behavior was fairly realistic... However, some of these things, if not all of them, actually belong in the story, don't you think? ![]()
7. Yeah, that genetics stuff got a bit confusing. Again, perhaps an attentive reader can deduce what actually happened and piece together the whole picture, but the story itself doesn't really explain why Roxy's and Will's clones turned out unstable and dangerous, while Windchaser obviously is not.
8. O-ookay)
9. Ah. In a perfect world we'd all have the time for our hobbies, and I wouldn't be writing my own story at a snail's pace(
Thank you for the story!
And for the answers, too.
I was about to correct a bit of ignorance on a (especially thick) TCB-hater's part, when I stumbled upon the first chapter of LMS for the first time in quite awhile. You have done some changes to it since I first read it (like, rewrote it). Anyway, I also read the absurdly long comment that Arcturus fellow gave, but your exchange didn't give me the answer I'm now seeking.
I'm talking about adding the Red Plague into the mix. I'm talking about you contradicting what you've just said in your previous comment: "I mainly tried not to force anything on the reader."
Originally you had it just like that, not forced, damn perfect in the way of caring about the reader. Some inferior individual might call it crazy not putting that plague in there ("There's no good reason for any of this!"), but that's not how it is at all! A vague, otherworldly reason for Purification is ways more powerful than a simple plot gimmick that is the Red Plague. And to be honest, I'm pretty darn pissed that you've done this and absolutely ruined this story for me. Isaac's reaction to Twi's explanation about the plague should be pure wrath; total eradication of humanity because of a disease that wasn't even sure to cause any trouble (and on Earth, we make cures and vaccines and stuff [Artificial Intelligence helping or not?]).
How can a story this good, be ruined this bad? It's totally possible (I can even give an example from the movie world: Basic good otherwise but the ending destroys everything it built up. The film Next would be another example, but it was quite bad to begin with...).
I'm not blaming you for trying answer the question about Purification, but I'm blaming you for doing it in what is likely the worst way possible. Think of it when you return to this piece. ![]()
Sheesh, I had no idea such a little thing could cause such ire in someone.
Yes, I do believe that the Red Plague is necessary for the story, and yes, I did it very half-assedly. I included it for the "WHY?", as a reason for the merging of Earth and Equestria, as well as the Purification. I do wish to make it more of a serious problem that humanity faces throughout the Conversion movement, and most likely will be done when I *finally* finish my fiddling with the story and leave it once and for all.
Oh. I remember reading this when it popped up on the EQD. Then re-reading it some months later. And now re-reading this in one go again. This is one of the best TCB stories that exist. Tears were shed all 3 times I read this. And know this, it has to be something special to make me re-read something, and something epic to re-read it more.
Having now read both versions of the epilogue...You made the right call in rewriting it. The old one was good, but it didn't give the same emotional response this one gave (ie sobbing madly on the floor for about 15 minutes).
I haven't cried, at all, for nearly 3 years. This story made me cry. A lot.
You, sir, have a gift, and damn well better keep using it
This is the first TCB story i have read, and i can thoroughly say i have made the correct choice.
The story in this seems extremely realistic [given the tcb scenario], the way you portrayed humans to react to the situation.
This was a very disturbing story at points, very disturbing. I doubt i'll get any sleep tonight. But that didn't make it any less enjoyable. I will definitely have to read some more tcb, after this.
Well done, my good author, well done indeed.
Ok, I already made my comment last chapter, because I thought I heard something about the epilogue being rushed. Turns out, that was the old epilogue, and this new one was done really well. It gets rid of the dark feelings of Windchaser at the end of the last chapter, proposes a bright new future, and covers up some plot holes (though, I thought Roxanne's clone died... Not becomming North Star
(though, it may just be coincidence, you didn't describe NS's mane as being bright yellow as the cline, just having the same coat color, oh well). Great ending. Thanks for the fanfic!
Sorry to keep spamming this comment thread, but I just remembered; this story, how it's told to Twilight, reminds me of a newer movie "The Words". A great movie with a storytelling aspect like this one. Just a thought.







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