• Member Since 27th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen March 16th

joe mother


bleg

Comments ( 73 )

Awwwww! :fluttercry:
This is excelent! I loved it! Very well done!

2833680

There's still going to be an epilogue!

So sad but oddly enough similar to another fic I read. Can't remember the name though. :fluttercry:

3034214
I can help you figure it out if you tell me a bit about what you remember of the other fic

3034263 Well from what I remember Derpy was Pinkie Pie's lover and she didn't throw a party but her friends just showed up. Other then that it's a lot like this fic. I think it was made a year ago though so it might be hard to find.

Well is my first time with a sad fic.
1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/a/image/1375/03/1375033647611.gif
*reads fic* :fluttercry:
fybertech.com/4get/13168355406195.jpg
Well done sir, this story is by the far the best sad story I have ever read! you deserve a moustache:moustache: and a muffin :derpytongue2:

Comment posted by joe mother deleted Aug 12th, 2013

Fucking Excellent. So fucking excellent. It's almost as if your words grabbed my eye balls and squeezed until they bleed the very tears that flood my face now. :fluttercry: Well done sir.

3036217 Where did that come from?

3036237 Yes, this is Shrek The Ogre. How may I be of assistance?

3036287 You mean the one who is also a button?

3036282
I searched ''Im outta here'' in google images

ugh, the feels >.<

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... That ending was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to rushed. There was barely any time to actually envoke dem feels in me. also, when pinkie said. "As many of you know, I'm dying, and for those who don't know, I'm dying." It made me laugh. Just try saying that out loud. I don't think you can say that without coming off as insincere. also I'm thinkin' pinkie would be more energetic about thanking the crowed then a simple thanks but that's minor.

I also find it weird that you decided to use derpy, but that's not really an issue. The main flaw I see here is the massive displacement of pacing. First of all, it should have taken pinkie a LOT longer to get over her depression. One talk with someone she barely knows would make pretty much no impact. Also by the looks of it, Pinkie died within a few days of being diagnosed with the disease. Thing is, if that's true, then the doctors should have been keeping her in the hospital to keep her alive as long as possible.

Another issue I have is that pinkie literally died in front of every pony in ponyville... Wasn't that what she was trying to avoid at the start of the fic? That was pretty much her whole reason to stay in her room. Also the mane6 never really show any emotion of sympathy towards Pinkie. Nothing to force her to consider how her friends will feel when she's gone. She just comes up with that theory out of nowhere, which is totally not like pinkie and also according the fic pretty much false by the way they act around her. Like nothings even happened. She's the type to think positive all the time. I honestly don't think she would have locked herself up in sadness over something like this and did what she does after derpy talks to her in the first place, but then again that's me.

I'm thinking literally anyone could have played Derpys role as the comforting voice and if that's true than pinkies friends would have been the ones to save her, not Derpy. there isn't even any attempts shown that her friends made. It doesn't really show how Derpy is different from the other mane 6 in that regard either. Derpys disabilities are nothing like pinkies and she can't really relate at all to pinkies situation. For Derpy, everyone mocks her and makes fun of her except the few ponies she knows on a somewhat personal level. Pinkie on the other hand knew every pony in ponyville and was at least friendly with everyone. While Derpy has to deal with daily ridicule, Pinkie is dealing with her own death. Their conflicts are completely different.

This is also part of the reason I think the depression should have lasted longer. Perhaps a month or two. To develop a real bond between the two characters so her words really WOULD mean more than her other friends. Though pulling that off would be pretty difficult. I'm also thinking that Pinkie should have been more unsure of herself. Maybe slip back into her depression for a day but derpy pulls her right back out. She won't have any of this Sad Pie.


It was a good read, needs some TLC but keep at it, looking forward to the epilogue that hopefully has some extra info to debunk any of my complaints.:twilightsmile:

P.S. Sorry for wall of text :twilightblush:

3036287 But I have free muffins of all flavors, just press the button :derpytongue2:

3036371 I will give you free muffins, don't scare me please? :scootangel:

3037320 Great way to say you're an asshole.

Comment posted by Spiderman here deleted Aug 13th, 2013

3037395 It wasn't even intended for you specifically to read it. It's a critique of the story. It had nothing to do with you and you're just being an asshole for it for NO REASON.

3037470 OH NO! the fucks I give to you dissapeared.

3037297 I press button! I GET NO MUFFIN!!!

3037470 Dat username.

3037616 IT NO WORK! YOU DIE FOR THIS!

3037703 FUCK YOU! I'M MUFFIN BUTTON! IF YOU DARE TO TOUCH ME AGAIN I WILL CALL GOKU ON YOU!

3037566 I'm curious if you have an idea how I came up with it :3

3037540 I'm surprised there were there to begin with!

3037764 All my comments against you have down votes. Care to explain?

3037792>>3037792 People agree with me? And hate asshole trolls.

Seriously all I was doing was giving a honest critique of the story. What the hell is your problem?

3037803 Here are your options
1.Fuck you I'm Muffin button.
(Can we have an argument tomorrow? I'm using my iPod right now)

3037803

Do not antagonize the lonely one. I read your wall of text and greatly appreciate it.

3037823

Take your issues to a PM. Don't clutter up the comments with it.

3037881 lawn k, nice story btw,deserves a like and a fav, i'm looking foward for more :D, could have be better through! :3

3038105 Sadly, I got this name from a non-pony related source. Better luck next time. Good vid though

Wait, it says it's incomplete at the title screen!

Login or register to comment