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Cryosite2,675 stories ·252 members

Dash of Colors

FlutterDash has just arrived in Ponyville from Filadelphia. What seems like a normal move becomes a wild ride with Pinkie being your tour guide. Whats worse when our city boy meets a certain Rainbow colored mane pony, he's struck hard. Whats got him so crazy about her, whats life in Ponyville going to be like, is there more to this story than this lame description?? Find out in Dash of Colors

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Brass Bell

Brass Bell #1 · Jul 8th, 2013 · · ·

Well mate, the big thing for you to work on, is grammar. Try using a spelling checker to sort it out.
Then it will be a lot easier to read. Once you've done that, I'll happily read through it again and focus a little more on your story and give you more feedback.

Iammrquacky

Iammrquacky #2 · Jul 8th, 2013 · · 1 ·

Oh my god that was really good for your first fan fic.... woohoo! Go you!

FlutterDash2534

FlutterDash2534 #3 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

2844643 Thank You!

MidnightCrew

MidnightCrew #4 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

Pretty good! But the name FlutterDash sounds a little girly and like the pairing. Other than that, good job!

FlutterDash2534

FlutterDash2534 #5 · Jul 9th, 2013 · · ·

2845819 Yeah, that goin to be pointed out later in the story. He already doesn't like his name but he has to deal with it cus sometimes life isn't fair.

zaczac111