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  • E Sun Princess

    In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.
    1,709 words · 14,224 views  ·  2,152  ·  29
  • E Princess Celestia Hates Tea

    Seriously, a lot.
    8,536 words · 39,295 views  ·  3,626  ·  54
  • E Martial Bliss

    Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.
    1,514 words · 16,393 views  ·  2,018  ·  27
  • E How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth

    Three missing pieces, two loving alicorns, and a single stupid decision that will set young Princess Cadence on a fresh new course.
    11,618 words · 13,024 views  ·  1,068  ·  12
  • E Derplicity

    Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares.
    7,984 words · 21,263 views  ·  2,431  ·  35
  • T Shipping Sickness

    Twilight Sparkle and her bedside table: like two 'ships that pass in the night.
    2,286 words · 17,813 views  ·  1,891  ·  26
  • E Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess

    Filly Cadence turns her first heart.
    10,724 words · 4,612 views  ·  475  ·  4
  • E In the Bleak Midwinter

    In which Cadance I of the Restored Empire is given a very unusual Hearth's Warming gift.
    4,452 words · 3,043 views  ·  401  ·  3

Blog Posts105

  • 3w, 1d
    "Rainbow Rocks" (flagrant, persistent spoilers throughout, obvs.)

    Welcome to another edition of "Because You All Perforce Must Care What I Think."  Let's make this short and sweet, shall we, getting the unpleasant bits out of the way first.

    Category A:  Things That There Was Never Any Hope For Improvement On

    1.  Human character designs still not doing it for me.  No amount of time and effort will make our girls not look like somewhat sexualized and rainbow-hued versions of Mr. ZIP what with the huge heads and stick bodies and all.

    2.  Still no substitute for actual pony film.  Actual pony screen-time even lower than last time around.

    3.  All protagonists are suddenly skilled musicians, when canonically only Pinkie, Fluttershy (maybe?) and A.J. have even been shown handling an instrument.  And Twilight is appropriately lampshaded in the narrative, so I guess I'm only questioning Dash and Rarity?  I dunno.  Let's move on.

    Category B:  Things Actually Worse Than Last Film

    1.  Vinyl Scratch.  I am absolutely great with fandom nods.  No allergy whatsoever to seeing Octavia, Snowflake Bulk Biceps, and lots and lots of Trixie.  Welcomed.  But basic storytelling dictates that you cannot have a functionally nameless character pull not one but two eleventh-hour saves without seeding the plot properly first.  Story structure demands that the protective qualities of her omnipresent headphones be hinted at before they are used to save our heroes' bacon (something so simple as including a version of the the disapproving Celestia / Vinyl interaction we saw in the "Music to My Ears" short would have been absolutely sufficient) and the Bass Cannon Sedan needs to have been at least established (if not fully revealed) prior to its use as a problem-solver.  When you count on an audience's in-joke knowledge and delight over a character to fill in the cracks of a story, that is when your fandom nod has crossed the line.  Furthermore, I can't tell if the creators are putting her forward as a strong-silent master of her craft or actually envision her as the same loudmouthed Bohemian that the fans see and are merely having her stay mute to appease the "Nowacking or Nothing" crowd.  I wish they would just pick one, because the more the plot actually hinges on her the more distracting her silence becomes.  Thank goodness they actually had Octavia speak a line.

    2.  No Candybutt, not even in cameo.  This is not a fault in the story as such, I'm just (predictably) disappointed and furthermore holistically trepid that my functional OC will continue to fade into the background as Twilight becomes more and more Cadanceified.  She's got wings now, is a princess, and lives in a crystal castle.  All she needs is a coat of pink paint and to get married, and the narrative will have no use for dear sweet Candybutt whatsoever.

    Category C:  Things Better Than Last Film

    1-n.  Virtually everything else.  The scene compositions were more visually adventurous and intriguing, the villains had a plot which made some damn sense this time, the songs are marginally superior, plot points are followed through on and not just mentioned and dropped, and the whole thing seems to have been stitched together with a lot of love and affection for the property.  And Sunset Shimmer is handled exactly the way I wanted her to be handled.  The scene where she once again attempts bad-girl intimidation in the darkened hallway only to have it fizzle this time is just splendid, and I for one gratefully welcome Sunny as the unexplained sixth peripheral star in "Magical Mystery Cure."

    That is all.  Thoughts?

    54 comments · 587 views
  • 4w, 3d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale," the... official soundtrack?!

    I am... a tad gobsmacked but nonetheless unquestionably overjoyed to report that via the generosity and talent of esteemed pony musician Night Breeze/Wind Wolf and my good friend S.R. Foxley, "Cadance of Cloudsdale" has an upcoming song cycle dedicated to it!  So exite!  Very yes!

    Check out the first track, "Reduit," below.  Thanks, you two.  You helped make my day.

    21 comments · 307 views
  • 5w, 19h
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea," thoughts on a sequel.

    No secret whatsoever:  the number one reason people hate this story is the flippin' ending.

    It's not the number one reason I hate this story, but it's certainly up there.  Those of you who have gone on to read "A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle" have doubtless perceived the autobiographical inspiration in Twilight's experience, particularly this part:

    ...the whole ending felt shockingly rushed and weak, because, frankly, I was so darn tired of writing it by that point I couldn't see straight. I had testily sworn to myself that I would not endure another morning with that stupid "Tea" story hanging over my head...

    ...which is, of course, all true of me.  That said, it's not like another day of writing it would have "fixed" the ending, either.  It's been like two years now (insert shocked-dismay emoticon) and I have yet to come up with a "better" ending that feels right.

    So.  Message received, from like hundreds of you.  You hate the ending.  I get it.  I hate it too.  It's too late to edit the original story, but if it had a sequel, what do you most want to see in it?  What, specifically, chafes your gizzard about how this story closes?  The general lack of all-around happy?  That Twilight doesn't get her just desserts for an entire evening of torturing Celestia with the memory spell?  That, in a world where you can literally turn birds into oranges, that some kind of solution wasn't forced using unicorn magic?  What?

    Please note that the characters will remain kind of panicky and stupid, so if the fact that the characters are panicky and stupid is your major beef, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to accommodate a fix of that nature.

    103 comments · 804 views
  • 6w, 4d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale" gets another addition...

    In a short story done for a fic competition!  It was written by Eakin, a master of arts; his story "Hard Reset" is top of the charts.  This one is does not deal with time loops and despair, but rather a fortress and the Sisterhood there.  I'm so glad to see another tale told of our Pretty Pink Princess when she was just a foal.  It's really good work--if I haven't been clear--and I recommend checking it out over here.

    (If you are concerned why I'm talking this way, it's apparently "Type Like Zecora Day."  I find my Zecora-style writing quite dismal on account of my rhymes being hella abysmal.)

    18 comments · 358 views
  • 9w, 2d
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea" in comic format!

    35 comments · 946 views
  • ...
 62
 7,090
Source

The stand-alone prologue to "Contraptionology!"  In a world where forest fires (well, a forest fire) run(s) rampant, the fate of Ponyville – this week, at least – lies in the capable hooves of the greatest scientific genius ever to walk the surface of Equestria...

...Pinkie Pie.

First Published
6th Mar 2012
Last Modified
18th Feb 2012
#1 · 138w, 6d ago · · ·

I just wanted to say thanks. I was worrying whether I had a chance to win, but then I read your story and thought 'damn, this is good stuff!' So, I might not win, but I'm glad someone with a better story is gonna win (if it's not gonna be yours, it better be awesome)

#2 · 138w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

That was glorious. I've read approximately 40-some stories in this competition so far, and yours is the third one I've run into that doesn't have glaring spelling and grammatical errors. Plus, it's a great story and your dialogue is superb.

A little restraint with the dialogue tags wouldn't hurt, though. :twilightsheepish:

#3 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Out of the couple dozen entries that I've (tried to) read, yours is the first one that I  not only got all the way through, but was thoroughly entertained by. My only complaint, and I'm going to guess you simply ran out of either time and/or word count cap space, was the lack of seeing the crisis being averted.

Needless to say, this story earned my vote, and I would love to see a continuation of what you've written here, as Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike head off to the college to investigate what happened. Again, great job!

#4 · 138w, 1d ago · · ·

I haven't read too many stories so far, but I actually finished and enjoyed this one, so VERY nice job! So far, it's definitely my favourite. Good luck!

#5 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>246801

"A little restraint with the dialogue tags wouldn't hurt, though."

Working in comics has completely killed any capacity I ever had to produce dialogue without visual augmentations.  Guilty as charged.

#6 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>295079 Unrelated to my prior comment, just moments ago I was patting myself on the back for my consistent taste in stories--this story was one of the bare few I tracked during the competition to find out who the authors were, and Observatory Hill is one of my favorite fics in the fandom. :heart:

#7 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>295099

I guess that means my style is consistent enough, as well!

Glad I'm two for two with you.  :twilightsmile:

#8 · 135w, 4d ago · · ·

Skywriter, I think you are now one of my top... 5 or so... favorite authors in this fandom.

#9 · 135w, 3d ago · · ·

>>328832

Yay!  Thanks so much!  (Awesome, rock on, hoof-bump, etc.)

#10 · 133w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

Scientific progress goes SKRONK, apparently. :pinkiehappy:

#11 · 131w, 1d ago · · ·

Awesome! 'You distract the troops with those pies while Pinkie and I go off and do something titanically stupid' has to be one of the best lines from any fic I've read :)

#12 · 131w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

That was an enjoyable read. Thank you. :heart:

#13 · 131w, 21h ago · · ·

Haha!  What a hilarious read!  Well done, good sir!

... wait, Jeffrey C. Wells?  Channing?  :twilightoops:  Is that really you?

#14 · 131w, 18h ago · · ·

>>456153

You know Twi is pretty far gone when she's throwing herself wholeheartedly into plans even she can't figure out how to make sound good.

>>457098

Thanks for reading and responding!

>>459816

In the pixels, as it were.  Small Internet, no?  PM incoming.

#15 · 131w, 12h ago · · ·

it's buddy mark II  *giggles*

(note, the previous statement will only make sense to a relatively small group of people, if even them because it's been a long time and I might be confused.  Though right now I swear it was buddy and not the lemur that made that sound.)

As usual love the story, can't really think of anything else to say.

#16 · 131w, 12h ago · · ·

>>460818

Lemurs say "Frink", "Wheeooo", "Cheep", and very occasionally, under duress, "Ptang".  Gender-confused dinosaurs say "Rawr".

Ah, the good old days.

#18 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>598260

DV remembers a very old story I wrote when I was learning how to write fiction.  It's an in-joke from that.

#20 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

What i look for in a story is if its fun to read. This was definitely fun to read.

#21 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

I don't even know how, but it makes so much sense, Pinkie being genius engineer and stuff... :pinkiegasp:

Now to read Contraptionology... :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Mad scientist Pinkie Pie is ridiculously entertaining. It just makes sense, for some odd reason. Then again, Pinkie Pie is kinda like a nexus of strange nonsense (at least in fanon) so I guess it not making sense makes perfect sense.

.

.

.

Does that even make sense?

#23 · 123w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

"All very fascinating and simultaneously confusing and distressing,"

One of the best lines I've read for some time and a perfect sum of this fic. I loved it! :twilightsmile:

#24 · 123w, 3d ago · · ·

>>707568

I think it does!

>>717947

I like this line when I hear it delivered in Twilight's voice in my head.  It kind of has the same inflection as "Very efficient, and a little bit gross!" from "Lesson Zero"

#25 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

That was brilliant. Have a :twilightsmile:.

#26 · 107w, 5d ago · · ·

This was a beautiful story. The characters were dead-on, and Pinkie's non-chalant dismissal of her P.H.D. (!) in contraptionalogy was exactly the kind of thing she would do.

A wonderful piece of work, I'm really looking forward to reading Contraptionology!

:eeyup:

#27 · 107w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1343761, >>1305976

Thanks, guys!  Aardwolf, hope I keep it going for you in the next work!

#28 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

the fate of Ponyville – this week, at least – lies in the capable hooves of the greatest scientific genius ever to walk the surface of Equestria... pinkie pie

Without even READING this....... were doomed

#29 · 103w, 18h ago · · ·

>>1523436

Yes, but not in the way you think!

Also, stupid question, but what's the UBB code for a blockquote like that?

#30 · 101w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1527114 Erm... i just clicked the quote button besides the youtube one and copied/pasted

#31 · 101w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>1573265

Holy crap!  I should really learn some of the functionality of this site one day.  Thank you; a test click has now given me the UBB code I need.

Humiliatingly, it is "quote".

One more step down the road to having nine-year-olds program my DVD player, I guess. Le sigh.

#32 · 101w, 1d ago · · ·

Hye you know Andrea Libman, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy's voice actor has a degree in engineering, now you know that Pinkie Pie really IS a genuis. :eeyup:

#33 · 101w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>1598395

I did not know that!  My enjoyment has been doubled!

#34 · 100w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

>>1573281

No worries, I'm right there with ya.  I swear, I know nothing of computers despite being a 21-year-old college student.  It never fails to be shocking to others and humiliating to me.  :ajsleepy:

Also, I've not read Contraptionology since I swore off incomplete fics awhile back; does it tell how the party cannon works?!?  I'm extremely curious now.  My guess is that it has an internal battery that can somehow draw energy from Pinkie Pie herself.  That'd explain how she gobbles sweets without gaining weight while rectifying the issue with conservation of energy.  She swallows cakes, her naturally speedy and extremely efficient metabolism converts them to raw energy with practically 100% efficiency, and said energy is added to the cannon until enough is gathered for party creation.  Am I close?  :derpytongue2:

#35 · 100w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1614944

It's as good an explanation as any!  Truth to tell, the Party Cannon plays almost no role in "Contraptionology!"; without too many spoilers, Twilight swears Pinkie to silence on the topic of the cannon, and it is never mentioned again.  There are bigger issues at stake.  :pinkiehappy:

I think we're on track to finish "Contraptionology!" by the end of the year.  Keep watching!

#36 · 94w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1600283

As someone who also has a degree in engineering, my enjoyment too has been lots-tupled! :pinkiehappy:

#37 · 81w, 5d ago · · ·

Waaaitaminute waitaminute wait a minute...

That story image... is that a mare-portable fusion pie in the blueprint there?:facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

#38 · 81w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2330187

Ha, I wish!  It appears to be a rock pie, instead.

#39 · 77w, 2d ago · · ·

"Duke of Geld "

[](/raritywut) so he is like the duke of chopping people's nuts off?

#40 · 77w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2492392

More or less!  It was a pun, meant to evoke both the word "gelid" (extremely cold) and the equine, ah, surgical practice.  Taken as a whole, I wanted readers to come away with "So Cold It Will Freeze Your Wossnames Off".

#41 · 77w, 2d ago · · ·
#42 · 76w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I really do want to move on to reading some new stuff, so I think I'll just skim this to remind myself what I wanted to say comment-wise. This makes me feel a little lame, but hopefully you won't feel fleeced.

Sometimes, I swear, reading these stories makes for as good a writing lesson as anything I'm going to get out of my listening tour of Brandon Sanderson. It starts like this.

Here's the first thing you need to know:

I almost feel like I could stop critiquing right here. Eight words in, and this story has me fully committed. It is unfair.

Well, no, that's a poor way to characterize it. It's eminently fair. It's fantastic writing, and it's a learned skill. And I need to improve it, if I want to be able to deliver like this. It's eight words, sure, and I'm spending closer to 60 talking about them, but those eight words tell a story.

Moving on.

Dah! I'm not really sure how to handle this "only having positive things to say" situation. I mean, I could try to pick it apart and be all, "I see what you did there," but it's not like attempting to analyze something you constructed is helpful to you (except possibly in the sense of getting kicks out of what your readers notice in your stories). And frankly, your stories are too tight for me to have a very easy time picking them apart. I hardly have time to dwell on the ideas you plant before you shuffle me along to the next awesome thing you have in store. There are two things I think are probably worth mentioning about this story, though.

First of all, I never picked up on the reasoning behind the name Iggy in "Contraptionology" for whatever reason. It finally hit me when I read this the first time. It was, of course, a wonderful choice.

Second, I do believe this is the best Pinkie Pie characterization I've read anywhere so far. Now yes, you're bending her character a little for story purposes and to make her your own, but the thing that so consistently impresses me here is how she'll just drift off into "WoooOOOOooo", or... well, really, I could pick just about any sentence involving Pinkie. I think I consider a solid majority of them pitch-perfect – the others merely being excellent. Her reaction to thinking of Iggy lost in the forest, burning it down. Her description of the uses of salamanders in geologic agriculture. The way in which everything seems either perfectly intuitive or perfectly obtuse to her. ...I like the Rainbow Dash photo bit, but I think that's probably the weakest point in her characterization for me in this story. And I suspect that many, many of your readers would consider that, too, to be a triumph of characterization. For me, as I said above, it's merely "excellent". Y'know, like, "about as good as I'd possibly expect in a non-Skywriter story".

It's embarrasing, how few chinks I can find in your armor.

Oh, incidentally, did you see the EqD Lauren Faust twitter report where she effectively gave Word of God support to the portrayal of Nightmare in Contraptionology? I was told you've met her in person. Did you have a leg up on this one, or was your foresight just that good? Either way, I continue to be impressed.

#43 · 76w, 3d ago · · ·

>>2519773

Lauren has made some oblique public comments to this effect in the past, and that's what this portrayal rests on. That Q&A was I believe the first time it's been said so concisely, however. No insider info here!

#44 · 65w, 4d ago · · ·

Yay! You might be surprised by how few people actually know what a 'spinel' is...

#45 · 65w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2898682

I was running out of semiprecious pink stones!  :pinkiesmile:

#46 · 62w, 2d ago · · ·

A good enough story by itself, but it becomes a lot more interesting  read in the context of the sequel. The roots of Contraptionology are very clear here, not only on a thematic or world-building level, but also in the writing style, the pacing, and so on. Still, it is kinda half-baked, and seeing the growth between both is a pleasure.

#47 · 62w, 1d ago · · ·

>>3025438

While advertised as "stand-alone," it was more or less clear to me from the beginning that this was only a fragment of a larger narrative. Thanks for reading!

#48 · 51w, 1d ago · · ·

This is insane.

How did you write this? Really, I wish to know!

#49 · 51w, 20h ago · 1 · ·

>>3410039

I dunno. I got a writing prompt ("forest fire") and the entire rest of "Contraptionology!" just sort of happened.

#50 · 39w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

"And you see," repeated Pinkie, pointedly, "what happened there."
  Well played, Pinkie.  Why, I almost expect you to start talking about the nuclear reactor in your basement next.

contraptionological
More like contraptionillogical.

while Pinkie and I go off and do something titanically stupid."
Sounds like a plan!

the financial security of our entire village is assured for all eternity and everypony can have anything they want, whenever they want, in whatever quantity that they want, from now until the end of time,
Um, Twilight, perhaps some friendly human might want to share with you why the Spanish Empire fell.  Quick hint: overabundance and subsequent devaluation of resources like gold and gems.

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