Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash discover that two of their friends have romantic feelings for one another and resolve to unite them. Their plans don't work out, however, and they find that love can be catching.
Aw, that was so cute.
Nice job with the story, not bad at all.
oh and here's my likes
Awwwwwww. Pinkie Dash is best shipping. ^_^
Oh gawd... this can't end well
really... its over already.. why do half of the romance stories stop after the first confession..
And then they all fucked.
P.S. >>232912232912 - because getting to that confession is the bigger part of romance. After that, it`s Kirche, Kinder, Küche.
Maybe you should just write a clopfic sequel. Then stare on it despondently, exclaim - "What had science done!?" and promptly go mad from revelation. Oh, and post it immediately thereafter.
I don't think I could manage a good clopfic. "Insert tab A into slot B" comes to mind.
Joking aside, is there an actual interest in a sequel to this? I certainly don't have anything planned for a continuation, but quite a few people have added it to their tracking lists. I finished it where I did to imply a "happily ever after" ending. If I did do a sequel, it would have to have to put the relationship in jeopardy somehow and potentially spoil the feel-good ending.
...I`ve been in the same spot as you with Horn Care, actually. Had no intention to make it more then first paragraph, but then... and this... and after that... and now I have a second chapter and third in works and what is that I don`t even...
Meh. That`s just how things end sometimes.
As for sequel, you have to remember that just saying "I love you." does not guarantee immediate and complete compatibility. Simply writing a one-two chapter followup that would showcase how their relationship works, what boundaries they have to establish, how do they share time and reconstruct their lives to allow for romance - that works. With a side order of painfully shy romance between Applejack and Fluttershy.
This is going to be a comedy of errors.
Wow, that was great! I did feel it went a little quickly, but i guess thats fine. The story was full of DA'WWWWW!!!
Haha! Up yours Flutterjack, make room Pinkiedash!
hehe, great job Moabite!
>>232956232956 I don't think I could manage a good clopfic. "Insert tab A into slot B" comes to mind.
On the contrary, that sounds like the perfect start to an inexperienced-Twilight humorous clopfic!
Edit: or a Pia Ikea clopfic, I suppose.
So. Much. Cute.
Ha! Clever story. Very nice.
Y U no have more comments?
This is brilliant, Mah Boi!
Pinkie Pie frowned sulkily. "Dumb physics. Always ruining my fun."
That phrase is SO FULL OF WIN
>>233105233105 agreed man agreed
And it begins...Oh Pinkie.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're somewhat English...
As others have said, this was rather cute. It's also a nice change from the usual form of shipfic. And of course, it is the best ship. I very much enjoyed this
I'd love a sequel involving the Fluttershy/Applejack dynamic; possibly some Big Macintosh action thrown in as a curveball?
Not a bad idea. Shift the focus to the other couple with RD/PP taking a back seat. Might be good for a long epilogue or a different story entirely. I'll think about it.
Ah! I was close. It's hard to tell them apart in writing.
>>233105233105 I prefer Flarity myself
But Pinkie, you don't have to let physics ruin the fun! Your Pinkie Pie, Newton could be all like "gravity keeps us down!" And you could be all like "Nuh-uh!" Then float up, and why? Because your BUCKING PINKIE PIE!
OMG THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL
dammit you brilliant writer! now you make me wish equestria was real so i could date a pony.
take this like and get out of my face
i'm going to read this whitin 10 hours
so i'm dating Dashie here??
heh... the part with the free stamp... that is so pinkie and you really got me there, i was like: ah now she go find the misplaced love letter... and then i was like: lol, silly me, i should have known better XD
Excellent ship swap
I'm thinking a sequel based around Applejack and Fluttershy, and also some Twilight and Rarity, just so you can drag it out for another few chapters.
I am loving Pinkie Pie in this story so far
Pinkie Pie obeying the laws of physics?!? Where's the black hole that's associated wih this?!
Ship fics like this make me read Moar ship fics. Well done.
I would love for a sequel to reveal that Rainbow and Pinkie knew the whole time.
The awkwardness would be doubled, of course.
I loved the carrot cake joke
It's a great fic.
When it comes to the mane 6 we love them all in any combo. I have my own favorites, but a win is still a win whenever someone cares enough to write their story. These unintentional twists to their plans can be the most rewarding. Dash, Pinkie, you deserve all the best.
This story is an excellent argument against the misconception that stories need to be long to be good.
Looking forward to seeing more great stories from you.
This story was a little short, but I loved it all the same.
This is why I love PinkieDash stories, every one is different, different purpose, different conflict, there's a lot of variety in these stories compared to most of the mane cast shipping.
Appleshy isn't really my thing but I have no issues with it so I like this.
I dunno, I mean I gues it is cute, but it seems a little wierd as the ponies start going lesbian for each other. Left me kinda like
This story was so cute, adorible, and sweet it gave me diabeties. Read it with a huge smile on my face.
It was really good! 5/5
dumb physics never ruins Pinkies fun. you could simply replace it with "sometimes". The love letters you wrote for them almost made me cry.
>>233573233573 Jailbot is ABSOLUTELY right! This is the perfect start for more AJ/FS storyline, and Big Mac has a crush on Carrot top? You could even let us see how pinkie and Dash are managing Lawfish didn't you see the lack of decent stallions in the hearts and hooves day episode? Plus I happen to love this mane 6 shipping stuff as I get jealous every time I read a f/m ship.
Oh my goodness this is so sweet. They probably shouldn't have written those parts about getting to their true loves and what not. That's what really set it up. So cute.
I honestly like the taste of RainbowPie. Good show, my friend. Thumbs up
I was robbed of an epic dragon fight, yet rewarded with a satisfying end. I think it came out better this way.
Nice swap! And the cake with a table with a cake with a table... nice Inception reference, but I think we have to go deeper
Here's how many likes I would give if I could give infinite amounts...
the likes.. ARE OVER NINE THOUSAND!!
There are a lot of things I like here. First, I like the swapped ship plot, even though it's been done before (though, the times I've seen it, it tends to be Applejack and Rarity playing matchmaker, for some reason). I really like the conversations between Pinkie and Dash, their entire dynamic. They're playful, Pinkie's random, Dash is exasperated. I also like that the two of them argue in a friendly kind of way, about dinner preparations and other things.
I LOVE Pinkie Pie's love letter written for Applejack. That was the highlight of the story for me. How she totally ended up with her heart on her sleeve and Dash's reaction to it.
My main suggestion for improvement would be regarding the story's pacing. Everything felt a bit too fast. I kept wanting more detail, more development. In particular, I felt that Dash travelled from "I think I might like Pinkie Pie to "Because I love her!" without we the readers seeing enough pit stops along that road. I also would have liked to have seen more Applejack and Fluttershy, even though the story wasn't really about them, such as Pinkie's apology to Fluttershy and Applejack's confession to Fluttershy at the end.
Overall, this was a very lovely read. Thanks for writing and for sharing!
Thank you for taking the time to critique. I submitted this to EqD a while ago and it was rejected for, like you say, pacing. In particular, the leap from friendship to love was a stretch and should have been explored much further. I didn't rewrite it and resubmit it to EqD because the prereader also wanted the love letters changed and I stubbornly (perhaps too much so) refused to back down on that point.
I am regularly accused of making my stories too short or fast-paced and I would be inclined to agree. I can even tell you why my stories are too fast-paced: because I work to a plan. I write the story plan first and define points that are essential to the plot, then write the story using the plan as a guide. It's a huge source of motivation because I know where I'm coming from, the bare minimum I need to narrate this scene and what I need for the next scene. And so, I tend to narrate exactly what's necessary for a scene to make sense, but I don't explore them in any great depth.
I was confronted with this recently while writing another story: a mystery with a protagonist whose personality I want to examine in detail. I have the plan complete and ready for narration, but the very first word isn't a scene; it's a motif. Because it isn't something that can be defined with scene directions, it completely messes up my system. I've been looking at a blank page for a month now.
I think that I will try to write a freeform (or at least very loosely planned) Applejack/Fluttershy Matchmakers sequel as practice, with a bit more focus on character development than actions. It may not be very good - or soon in coming - but I really need to step out of my current boundaries.
A nice read. As Donny's Boy suggested, the story itself could stand a little more development and pacing, but otherwise it was most pleasant.
Sorry to hear that it didn't make EqD. Interesting that they wanted the love letters changed. Not sure what changes they wanted or why, but I did like Pinkie's letter as-is. (No disrespect intended toward the prereaders.)
If you do write an AppleShy sequel, I will happily read it! And pushing boundaries is always good.
this is what i would expect from the show good work man you made my day
>>232912232912 Well, they could continue. Just toggle the mature button.
Love the story! You made the right choice not changing the love letters -- that's my favorite part of this story. As with others, I'd have liked to see the relationship develop more, but it's not unbelievable as written (it could be read as Rainbow subconsciously denying her own feelings about Pinkie until she realizes the Pinkie feels the same way about her).
Yay, Rainbow Pie, very good job btw.
"Pinkie's terrifyingly recursive confectionary" are possibly the funniest words I've read today.
The dialogue there at the beginning was well done, but the ant picnic was brilliant. Little things like that should not go unnoticed.
A very lovely fanfic and really enjoyable. I must applaud how well it was written, it really surprised me. Normally there are some kind of spelling mistakes or grammatical issue (there’s always one), but yours actual didn't. It was written plainly and honestly although I noticed very clever use of language, especially in chapter 2. I feel you got rainbows and pinkies personality down to a tee, which is usually a problem for these kinds of pairings or any fan fic in general about anything.
Speaking of pairings this would be the first fic I’ve read for this particular pair and I am impressed all the more. there isn’t any ship I downright hate the thought of as I truly think any kind of paring could work with the write author behind it(except maybe spike and discord but now that I think about it I can imagine a few ways on how that would play out). But I digress.
There is only one real criticism to be found in this and it really is the only one. Pacing. You clearly have a lot of talent for this and I’m going to have to check out your other stuff later but the pacing, while not terrible was a little bit fast. It made the whole thing seem a bit rushed which is a crime because everything else was grade A writing, and I also realise that it has already been mentioned in the comments but I just wanted to have my say too.
In the end I think another chapter would have done the story a world of good and if you ever re-write this I wouldn't change anything that actually happens, I would just elaborate is all. Go into more detail or simply write more scenes and interactions. Good idea, well utilised but as with even the best of them, room for improvement although it kills me to say as it really was very good
I feel I can’t stress that enough.
A rampaging apple tree.... God only knows how hard i laughed
Start out with AppleShy only to switch to the OTP after a single chapter? Excellent! A lot of cute and very funny moments here. "Pinkie's terrifyingly recursive confectionary" is a brilliant phrase. My only complaint is that it felt rather rushed. There was barely any time at all between Dash thinking that she might perhaps like Pinkie and screaming that she loves her, after which the story ends very abruptly.
Any chance u can write an epilogue? :D
I've been busy with other responsibilities. I have down-time soon, so let's hope the writing bug returns.
Killing my to-read list~
This was well worth it! Pinkie's recursive baking stands out especially.
Ohwowgosh. This is absolutely beautiful. I had two points that gave me pause, one being Dash's realization that she desired Pinkie's affection (and Pinkie, for that matter) and the other being the dragon's appearance. I think some others have commented on it before me here, but basically, I feel that if you'd just slowed down a bit with those, it would be a great improvement.
Still though? This made my evening, easily. The language is lovely, and each passage reads as lovingly crafted and beautiful and and- I don't even know what. I sit here in the aftermath feeling good about myself, about ponies and the world. I think that's a good thing.
And AppleShy. See, I don't mind fics that ditch the epilogue when you have a strong and impactful end. The PinkieDash ending is conclusive enough, honestly, but at the very end, you added four little lines that alone win my heart.
I am critically weak to AppleShy, and letting the reader (me!) have that there at the end, that's what takes me from "I liked this fic" to "Fave, gush to my friends about". I hope you'll write something similarly painless, fun and elegant for AppleShy one day. So few fics ever focus on AppleShy. It's the eternal secondary ship.
Thanks for writing this!
Let's match the matchmakers! *Does a happy dance*
Also, I'm enjoying how supportive of Pinkie Dash was during this chapter. Loyalty incarnate, that one.
Awesome love letters, yo. Hit me like a jab right in the feels.
You gotta do it right.