CH23: Headaches All Around (Revised)
Special Thanks:
Editors: DaMobbs
*****
A New day Beckons, New Opportunities Apart,
A Strange Eyed Mare with a Lot of Heart...
An Unwanted Guest, Pounding on the Door...
Will be a constant Headache, Forever More...
*****
Chapter 23: Headaches All Around
After Naruto finished beating himself up over his horrific loss to a baby, he trudged back home. There was no point in being in town after the Ursa was taken care of and that it was still the middle of the night. Still, it was puzzling…
‘Why would those two dolts willingly anger an Ursa? Were all kids here crazy? Or as a matter of fact, those kids… Snips and Snails, I think... are certainly lacking in the intelligence division. Are they even kids at all? That Snails one was pretty tall, maybe a teenager? Snips looked pretty young... Fat too. They should just be called Tall and Skinny, the Oblivious Brothers…’
‘...and then there’s Trixie… I was right the first time; She was trying to skip town to avoid her punishment. Come to think of it, I don’t even know what her punishment would have been. Probably a minor one, since she wasn’t the one who brought the Ursa, but being a show-off can only get you so far…’
‘I can’t believe she actually had a smoke bomb... an actual, working smoke bomb! That means there’s some form of technology here... and if there are smoke bombs, I wonder if they have explosives… Well without any explosive tags, I can’t cause any major damage or set up any proper traps. Ah, yet another item to add to my list: Obtain proper gear. Those daggers were great but now they’re collecting rust somewhere out in the forest. What a waste of good quality tools. I can only cause do so much damage with my own hooves and if I ever go on anymore monster hunts, that won’t cut it…’
‘But then there’s the house and money to worry about… The floors and bathroom may be clean, but the walls, ceiling, and second floor are a completely different story… Come to think of it, the kitchen doesn’t have the proper kitchenware either… Ugh.’
‘This is making my head hurt… I need Bits in order to fix the house, and my remaining 118 Bits isn’t going to cut it. I need more.’
As he thought all this, he found himself walking up the walkway that lead to the front door. He sighed, the object of his current frustration standing right in front of him now. Colorful swear words and names swam through his head as he looked over the outside of his house, bathed in the dim moonlight. He shook his head dejectedly before creaking open the front door and entering the house. Quickly, he made his way to the bathroom to retrieve his ill-forgotten jacket, still hanging up on the bent nail before retreating to his room. With a quick toss, it flew through the air and draped itself over one of the closet’s open doors. He staggered over to his bed and plopped down, falling asleep almost instantly, the day’s events now catching up to him in full.
*****
In the early morning, Naruto found himself out in his backyard. He had yet to actually explore this section, so he figured he might as well seeing as he didn’t have much else to do. The yard was fairly big, maybe an acre or two, but it was completely overgrown with weeds and random assortments of flowers. Vines climbed the once white picket fence, giving it an overgrown look that he was not fond of. Right in the middle of the yard was a dead tree. It’s bark was cracked and no leaves hung off the multitude of branches that spread out over the yard. Needless to say, it was a disaster. He stared out over the yard with a blank face, his eye twitching ever so slightly.
“Great,” he said sarcastically, ”so I need to cut the lawn too.” He grumbled a little bit more about stupid houses and stupid repairs and stupid money until his shoulders slouched. “This house is becoming a bigger pain than I originally thought! I need to hire someone to do all these repairs. No wait, not enough bits... Well, I guess I could read up on how to fix everything. It could save me a lot of money in the long run... but I can’t devote all my time to this.” He sat down on the wooden porch, the only thing out here that didn’t need any fixing and sighed dejectedly. ”There’s just so much to do…”
He figured Twilight could set him up with some books since she ran the library, but what about the bits he’d need? Should he get the books first or actually get the money together beforehand? As Naruto pondered this, a loud *BANG* came from behind. He turned around, seeing nothing there but the opened back door.
“From the front…?”, he asked himself.
He rushed into the house and opened the front door, only to come face to face with a rather humorous, yet aggravating scene. A gray Pegasus with a blonde mane and rather beautiful yellow eyes was stuck inside his cherry red mailbox. Her eyes rolled around from what he assumed was the impact, but she closed her eyes and shook her head to snap out of it. When she opened them again, they were no longer bouncing around but were cross-eyed. Naruto stared at the rather clumsy Pegasus, trying to imagine what happened for her to end up inside the mail box. The gray mare finally noticed Naruto and gave her most enthusiastic wave, shaking the box in the process.
“Good morning sir! Would you like a subscription to ‘Ponyville Daily’?” said the gray mare, with a rather light, boyish voice. She waved a newspaper around in her other hoof, as if showing him what she meant by ‘Ponyville Daily’. Naruto scratched his head, trying to connect two and two together: A mare was inside his mailbox, asking if he wanted to subscribe to a newspaper. But that’s not what he wanted to hear.
“Why are you in my mailbox?” Naruto deadpanned.
“I’m here to offer you newspaper service, of course!” She said, completely oblivious to the question.
“No, that’s not- I mean, why are you, a mare, inside my mailbox!? It’s completely ruined!” He said, anger in his voice as he gestured at the bulging metal. The mare tilted her head in confusion. She looked back at the mailbox, and then back at her body. Her eyes lit up in realization as she began to struggle inside her metal confines.
“Oh no! Help me mister, I’m stuck in this mailbox!”
“Is everypony in this town complete and total morons!?” Naruto thought as he face-hoofed. Regardless, he couldn’t just leave her there. It was his mailbox after all. He circled around, trying to determine the best way of removing her without further damaging his cherry red mailbox. With a sigh, he stopped at where her head and front hooves stuck out.
“Okay, drop the newspaper and hold onto my hooves. I’m going to pull you out, okay?” Naruto asked. The mare gave a quick nod as she held onto his hooves.
“Okay… One… Two… THREE!” He counted, firmly pulling as he reached the end of the count. He pulled with all his might, his back hooves digging up some dirt as he lost traction. She budged maybe an inch or two but she was still firmly lodged in place. Each try resulted in the same result; a few more inches of movement and the mailbox slowly bulging even more as her flanks disappeared inside. Thankfully, the fifth pull was the lucky one. She came flying out like a pellet from a slingshot accompanied by the sound of snapping metal. They were both sent flying backward onto the ground into a heap, Naruto on the ground and the featherbrained mare on top. He couldn’t help but blush as he was forced to look at her face in closer detail: Goofy yet beautiful eyes, silky blonde hair, a rather peculiar smile, and…
“Thanks for getting me out, sir!” She said with her dazzling smile as she stood up. Naruto blinked a couple times before getting up from the ground himself with a smile of his own.
“You can thank me by explaining how you got in there in the first place,” he said, gesturing to the broken scraps of metal that was once his mailbox. The mail-mare tapped her chin with her hoof.
“Well… I don’t remember it all too clearly… I know I was supposed to come here to meet the new resident to ask if he wanted a subscription to the Ponyville Daily—that’s the Newspaper service. So then I rushed on over and… I think I was trying something out with my wings and…” She poked at her chin a little harder before she shrugged in defeat. “That’s all I can remember.”
“You don’t remember CRASHING INTO A MAILBOX!?” Naruto said with disbelief.
“Nope! So would you like to sign up with the Newspaper sir?” She said with her oblivious smile. Naruto couldn’t help but facehoof. If it wasn’t for that amazing smile, she’d be halfway to the Everfree right now.
He couldn’t believe how many idiotic ponies he’d met lately… However, she seemed to be the clumsy type, maybe forgetful but nonetheless, clumsy. It dumbfounded him how she could just crash into a mailbox and not remember the how nor the why.
Naruto sighed in defeat as he nodded. “Sure… sure, I guess. Where do I sign?” He wasn’t familiar with the news around Ponyville, so he figured having a daily newspaper would do him some good. The mail-mare whipped out a clipboard, a quill, and a sheet of paper which he assumed was their contract. In one fluid motion, she threw the quill into the air, snapped the paper onto the clipboard, unscrewed the cap on the built-in ink well, and let the quill land point down in the well. The blond mare tapped the blank line on the bottom.
“Please sign your name here with the quill provided. Your newspaper will be delivered every weekday and if you want to cancel your subscription, you can mosey on over to the Post Office and they’ll take it from there,” she said happily.
Naruto firmly nodded as he took the quill in his hoof… only to drop it a second later. He looked at the ink-tipped quill for a moment on the ground and so did the blonde mare. They looked back to each other while Naruto grinned nervously.
“Uh, heh, hold on one sec…” He chuckled, bending over to grab the quill once more only for it to slip through his hoof again. He frowned irritatedly.
“What the hell, why can’t I pick it up? What, I can pick things up some times but not all the time? Do my hooves have minds of their own!?” It was quite a mystery to Naruto. Despite having no opposable thumbs, he could either pick things up with ease, or in this case not. “Well, there’s always the alternative...”, he thought to himself.
Clumsily, he bit down on the middle of the quill and picked it up. He tilted his head so he could get the lead tip onto the parchment. Slowly and carefully, he signed his name on the dotted line. He spat out the quill onto the clipboard, a small amount of saliva coating the feathery section he bit down on.
The mare looked at the clipboard, a little miffed at how sloppy Naruto’s name was... or was that just how it was supposed to look?
“Nah ru… um… wow, your name is pretty funny sir.”
“What?” He quipped irritatedly.
“Oh! Sorry, I just… Eh heh, I’m very sorry sir, it’s just I’ve never seen this name before. How do you pronounce it?”
“It’s Naruto Uzumaki… Nah-rue-toe Ooo-zoo-mah-key.”
“Na… ruto huh… well mine is Ditzy Doo, nice to meet you!” Ditzy said, offering a hoof. Naruto grabbed hers and shook.
“Nice to meet you too, I think?”
“Well anyway, your signature is all here, and here…” Ditzy began, taking a newspaper out of her bag and throwing it to Naruto, “…is your newspaper!“ He fumbled for a moment as he attempted to grasp the newspaper in midair. Thankfully, he managed to grab it with both hooves and not his mouth. ”I hope you have a good day sir!”
With that, she flew off into the sky to Celestia knows where... probably to destroy more mailboxes but he didn’t know. Naruto just gave a sigh as he looked at the newspaper in his hooves, and then at the mailbox. It suddenly occurred to him that his mailbox was in disrepair. He looked back toward the sky and was about to shout for Ditzy, but she was nowhere to be seen. He scratched his head in annoyance.
“I didn’t even ask if she’d replace it. Damn it…”
He decided to make do with what he had, and collected the broken metal into a small pile by the wooden post that held it up. The only thing left on the post itself was foundation and the base of the walls, its’ edges warped and jagged.
“At least it can still hold mail, or whatever other packages gets put into it…Somewhat... Now then.” He looked at the rolled up newspaper in his hoof, took the rubber band off, and opened it. He looked at the front page of the newspaper and a brow furrowed almost immediately.
Apparently, last night’s event was on the front page. The words ‘URSA RAMPAGE THWARTED’ were plastered in enormous letters on the top. It was talking about the damages the Ursa had inflicted, the appearance of Naruto, Trixie’s tomfoolery, and finished with Twilight’s dazzling display of magic that save the town from total destruction. It mostly talked about how Naruto and Twilight tried to subdue the bear. It even listed all the small details on how it was all accomplished, albeit briefly.
There was a photograph of the scene too: It showed the Ursa floating off with its’ improvised milk bottle and Twilight showing off her magic. There was a brief mention about Naruto’s tails too, but part of the article said ‘Who is this tailed wanna-be pony: Hero or Menace?’
Naruto gave a small grumble. “It’s hero you stuck up news-pony… At least, I would have been...”
The fight from yesterday… He was so close to pulling off the Rasengan. But if it hadn’t been for Twilight’s interruption, could he have been able to defeat the Ursa with his Rasengan? Granted he could form the ball of chakra in his tails, but he hadn’t even tested if it was combat effective in this form. For all he knew, the chakra ball could break apart on impact and do nothing. Needless to say, it required tests and training with his tails.
“…Everything I’ve done has been on the spot lately,” he said quietly, ”The Shadow Clones, the wall-climbing and water-walking techniques, my speed… I'm surprised they even worked! I need to train again...”
He looked at the road toward Ponyville, then at the newspaper, and nodded.
“Guess I’ll read the newspaper inside…”
*****
Naruto entered his humble abode. The house looked the same as before: the specks of dust that roamed through the air, the dirty, partially destroyed walls, the contrasting clean floors, and the living room furniture… or what was even in the living room to begin with.
He grabbed one of the nearby stools and placed it in the center of the room. With newspaper in hoof, he sat on the wooden seat, feeling it creak as the aged wood strained under his weight. He paid it no mind as he delved into the news.
There were a few comic book clippings in the newspaper, mostly something about an orange cat and a brown-haired stallion. One strip in particular made Naruto chuckle: The brown-haired stallion was going for his coffee, all tired and half-asleep. Suddenly, his cat shouts at him from behind. The stallion turns around, mug in hoof mid sip, wondering what the cat wanted. He spluttered his caffeinated drink all over when he saw the cat’s over-sized pupils staring at him. Then the stallion shouted at his cat to take his contact lenses out.
Naruto tilted his head in confusion. “What are contact lenses, something for the eyes or something?” Still, the premise did give him a chuckle. He thought it was an interesting prank even though he didn’t fully understand
He gave a small yawn as he stretched his front legs in the air, until…
*CRACK-WHAM*
Naruto toppled backwards as gravity took the reins from the brittle stool. The stool crumbled and broke, no longer able to support his weight. Naruto laid in a wooden mess, cursing himself as he slammed a hoof into the now pile of lumber.
“Great, that’s one MORE thing to replace in this house!”, he shouted, his voice echoing through the empty house.
He got up and brushed himself off with the rolled up newspaper. He sighed. This was looking bleaker by the second. His stomach thought it best to voice its’ concern as well at that moment in time, grumbling in hunger. He looked at the pile of scrap lumber and then at the kitchen door. He shook his head in disappointment.
“I need a couch… but in the meantime, let’s see what there is for grub…”
Heading into the kitchen, he spotted the fridge in the corner and paused mid-stride. What horrors resided in a fridge that hadn’t been opened or cleaned in half a decade? He shuddered at the thought, but his stomach grumbled once more, pushing him to investigate what could possibly be his death. ‘That would make headlines,’ he thought, ’Death by curdled milk and moldy cheese’. He chuckled nervously as he inched closer to the refrigerator. He hoped that Gary and Octy had the brains to completely empty it or leave just the non-perishables. The latter meant he had food and nothing else to clean, but the former was a completely different story. The refrigerator door loomed closer and he soon found himself staring at the handle. With a courageous gulp, he grabbed it with both hooves. Taking a few deep breaths to prepare himself, he yanked open the door and shouted to challenge whatever lurked inside.
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA-Oh, it’s empty...”
He let out the rest of the breath he had held in relief. ‘Crisis averted’, he thought with a chuckle. There were three shelves worth of fridge space inside, and two bottom drawers for the more delicate goods, be it fruit or vegetables. As he took a closer look inside the fridge, he noticed a small brownish blur in the left drawer.
Curiosity begetting caution, he opened it, revealing a giant egg. It had to be at least 9 inches in length and the width of a small melon. Naruto’s eyes widened in shock as he picked it up. It was covered with brown and red spots as well as crisscrossing wavy lines that inter-weaved together.
“What is this, an eagle egg…?” He had seen an eagle egg once before in a book, but never sporting such a peculiar design.
He placed it on the kitchen counter, having forgotten his original mission, and looked at it from all angles. It was definitely too big to be a chicken egg... unless chickens were the size of ponies in Equestria. ‘Naw, that’s stupid’, he thought with a chuckle. However, it devolved into a nervous chuckle as he continued to stare at the possible chicken egg in front of him. He shook his head to destroy such thoughts in favor of rational thinking for once.
“Maybe it’s a Manticore Egg? Then again, do Manticore’s even lay eggs? Or maybe it’s something else…” It was a mystery to Naruto, so he decided to call it the ‘Mystery Egg’ for now.
Well, now that he had named the damn thing, he couldn’t really go and cook it. A knock came from the living room as he contemplated what possible use the egg was to him now. He sighed as he left the egg matter alone for now.
“Now who’d visit me this early in the morning?”
He walked towards the front door, and opened it. His somewhat cheery disposition took a sharp U-turn as he stood face to face with a black coated stallion named Blackie.
“Filly.” He greeted with a firm, but calm voice.
“Blackie.” Naruto said with a hint of anger.
None of them spoke for a good few seconds and stared at each other, neither wanting to be the first to blink. Naruto squinted his eyes in disgust. “What do you want Blackie?”
“My comp-”
Naruto immediately slammed the door right then and there. He heard yet another knock on his front door and he sighed, knowing full well who it was behind the door. He opened the door again to find Blackie in the same place he’d left him a second ago, although this time visibly pissed off.
“What do you not get, Naruto? You made this happen, and—“ Naruto slammed the door once more. Was he playing the game ‘How many words you can get in until the door slams shut’? Well, however fun that may sound, Naruto wasn’t having any.
Once again, the knocking came again, making him grit his teeth in aggravation to force himself from flying towards the door and uppercutting that pompous jerk again. He took a deep calming breath before opening the door once more.
“Now as I was saying, I want my-”
“Ok, that’s it!” Naruto exclaimed, his ounce of calm having been sucked dry instantly. ”What part of-*SLAM* and-*SLAM* do you not understand!?”, he shouted, slamming the door shut and opening it again as an example. “Now beat it!” With that, he slammed the door shut for, hopefully, the final time. The sound of the door shutting echoed through the house, leaving behind an eery silence... until it was broken by a trio of staccato knocks.
He needed to get rid of him somehow, but how? That’s when he realized something… he still had one basic technique in his repertoire he hadn’t bothered to try yet… something very simple he learned back in elementary school that didn’t require any hand-seals.
Naruto grinned devilishly.
*****
Blackie was not amused in the slightest. He decided it best to take the stealthy angle after his humiliating defeat at the hooves of that filly. Tailing them was easy enough and it even resulted in the uncovering of where the filly lived. He had his mind set on one thing: compensation for his work. One thing led to another and now he wanted another face to face to hopefully settle things peacefully. He waited until he was sure the blonde pony was awake and knocked on his door, forgoing violence for diplomacy. Blackie had attempted to negotiate with Naruto, but the blonde filly had slammed the door in his face, multiple times to boot! Nopony shut the door on Blackie and got away with it.
“Filly, get your bucking ass out ‘ere! I’m not budgin’ from this ‘ere spot ‘til you do!”
The door creaked open once more to reveal somepony else instead of Naruto. Blackie was slightly taken aback by this new individual, having expecting Naruto instead. The unicorn stallion had a combed back, black mane and a creamy blue colored coat. He sported a pristine, white suit that covered his cutie marks and a crimson red tie. The unicorn had his eyes lidded as if scrutinizing his every move.
“May I help you, sir?”
“Who the buck are you?”, he spat out.
“I am the house butler, sir. You may call me Mr. Rain. Now, may I help you?”
“This filly has a butler? When did that happen…?” Blackie thought. He connected the dots: A butler, a huge, pristine mansion, and his utter refusal to pay him his compensation. he must have gotten a huge payout from that fancy pony who hired him and won’t pay back the pony who helped. That’s what he figured, anyway.
He shook the thoughts from his head as he stared down Mr. Rain. “I’m looking for the filly and I know he’s in there!”
“Filly? You mean Mr. Uzumaki, sir?”, rebuked the butler.
“The blonde pony!”
“Oh, yes… the young master…” Mr. Rain said, scratching his chin with his hoof. He glanced back inside the house before looking back at the disgruntled stallion.
“The young master said he would be leaving through the back door. He has an appointment with a Mr. Gary Clopper in Canterlot I believe, and said he won’t be back for at least a day or-”
“Canterlot!?” Blackie interrupted angrily. The butler nodded his head.
“He left out the back door ey? I’ll cut him off down the road then!” He turns around and runs down the path, before turning back to Mr. Rain with a smile.
“Thanks butler, you just saved me a bunch of time!” He said before galloping down the road.
Mr. Rain nodded once more as he watched Blackie run off into the distance.
*****
Mr. Rain closed the door and let out a sigh of pure relief. He began to chuckle, which soon escalated into an all-out bout of laughter. Mr. Rain was enveloped inside an explosion of white smoke which soon cleared to leave only a laughing Naruto pounding the floor with a hoof.
“Ahahahah, oh god, I can’t believe that worked! The look on his face was priceless, hah hah!”
The transformation technique… A ninja skill that allows the user to take on the physical appearance of another person. This proved true for ponies apparently, as he had just proved with stunning results. However, he couldn’t transform into a monstrous creature or something beyond his natural size. He was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to transform as a pony. It took a little bit of focus and chakra and poof, he was a new pony.
As Naruto’s laughter began to die down, he picked himself off the ground. He involuntarily coughed a couple times, trying to clear his throat and bring his laughter back under control. He hadn’t laughed that hard in quite some time.
“At least I won’t be running into him anytime soon. Whew…” He cracked open the door to see if Blackie might have caught on to his fib and came back. Thankfully he was nowhere in sight. He nudged the door open fully and let the morning air stream into the house.
“Hold on a second. Since I can pull off the transformation technique, could I use it to turn back into a human?” Naruto commended himself for his clever line of thought. If he had access to his human form again, he’d have access to all the techniques that required more complicated hand seals. The thought of having hands again made him shiver in excitement. Hooves were nice and all, but nothing could beat opposable thumbs. ‘Well, except ramen, of course...’, he added thoughtfully.
He clapped his hooves together as he began to focus and funnel the chakra throughout his body as close to the skin as possible. He closed his eyes, focusing on the picture of a human as hard as he possibly could. As he opened them, he shouted:
“TRANSFORM!”
He waited for the release of chakra that came with the completion of the technique and the tell-tale explosion of smoke… but nothing happened. The chakra was still in place and he was still in pony form. He let his focus drop, the chakra being let go, and sighed dejectedly.
“Darn it… So I’m still stuck as a pony… Is it because I’m limited to this species now? Well, a human does differ in terms of anatomy to a pony…So, I can’t say that I’m not surprised...”
As he thought about the reasons behind his failed transformation, he sighed. “No use thinking about what can’t work. Doesn't change the fact that I still can’t transform into a human… But at least I can ‘transform’ into another pony if need be.”
For now, he needed to do something else, but what? He looked back at the broken stool and nodded firmly. ‘Time for a trip to the market’, he thought.
*****
As Naruto trotted through Ponyville, he kept his eye open for any furniture store he might stumble upon on his trek to find food. As he rounded a corner, a store across the street caught his eye. Outside was a bunch of wooden chairs and tables organized in such a way that they were easily seen from anywhere on the street. The sign above the shop revealed the store’s name as ‘Wooden You Seat it’. He chuckled, finding their pun to be mildly humorous.
He entered the shop, a small set of bells heralding his entrance. He took a quick surveying glance, seeing several pieces of furniture displayed about on small slabs of wood, ranging from cushioned sofa chairs to beds. They even came in different colors and sizes too. There was quite a variety to peruse inside.
He immediately began his search for a couch. It had to be comfy enough to relax in, sturdy enough to last him a long time, and cheap enough to not break the bank. There was a salespony located in the back behind what he assumed was the cashier counter. The mare perked up at the sight of a new customer. The pony sported a red mane that conformed rather nicely with her pink coat. Her cutie mark was that of a wooden chair and a sheet of paper.
“So it signifies her ability as a salespony for furniture then?” He ventured. Regardless, the salespony waved at him and welcomed him to the store, reminding him that he needed not hesitate in asking for her help.
“I thought they usually try to negotiate with a customer when they’re doing business?” He didn’t mind it since it was a rather welcome change of pace. He didn’t notice it before, but it was easy to see that most shops here were rather similar in set-up. The fact that ponies were letting him into their stores was a big change since back in Konoha, he was always chased—
Naruto shook his head furiously. He really needed to stop thinking of the bad memories. He was in happier times now. A place where he was accepted for who he truly was.
He walked down the aisles, looking for the couch section. He stopped momentarily at the tables to admire the craftsmanship and marvel at the different kinds of wood used in each. The price tags made him cringe though. ‘400 bits for a coffee table!? That’s insane!’, he thought in dismay. Finally, he stumbled across the couch section, hoping that they had some decently priced items here.
One of them caught his eye almost immediately. It was a dark brown couch with nothing fancy or overdone about it. The neighboring ones all had intricate designs woven into their fabric and crafted into the wooden supports but this one was plain, which probably meant cheap. It was big enough to fit at least two ponies on it too. A love couch, perhaps? He took a seat and was impressed at just how comfy it was despite how plain it looked. The fabric intrigued him as well. He couldn’t put a finger on it but it felt like a mixture of silk and cotton.
“Aren’t couches usually made of leather?”
He couldn’t make heads or tails on what kind of material it was made of, but he found it rather comfortable. He looked at the price tag, and frowned.
“75 bits… That’s quite a bit…” He mumbled out loud. He glanced at all the other couches around him and he could already tell that this was probably the cheapest they had in stock. A hundred bits, two hundred bits, three hundred bit… The prices seemed to grow more ridiculous as he perused through the rest of their stock.
He soon found himself back at the brown couch, staring at the price tag. ‘Looks like you’re mine then’, he thought as he looked around for the salespony. He spotted her at the cashier reading a book.
“I’ll take this one.”
*****
Naruto walked out of the store with a smile on his face, satisfied with his purchase. He had managed to bargain the price down to 70 bits which he was rather proud of. He looked at the receipt in his hoof, entailing his payment and when the delivery would take place. He had some time to kill until the delivery was supposed to happen.
“A job well done I guess… Now I’m down to 48 bits. Which means I’m gonna need more bits in order to survive, I guess.”
After buying another apple for an impromptu breakfast, he started off towards the Request Board. This diet of apples and cake was fine and all, but it was getting old really fast. He needed something much more fulfilling. As he drew closer to where the board was, he noticed a familiar pony standing in front of it. The blonde maned, orange pony donning a Stetson hat was tacking something onto the request board.
“What’s Applejack doing in front of that board?” He wondered. He remembered that Applejack worked on the farm near here, so maybe she was looking for a few extra farmhands? Regardless, he trotted over to see if he could help.
Applejack looked crestfallen and a bit agitated, but perked right up when she noticed Naruto walking up, giving her biggest smile.
“Howdy there Naruto, what brings you here?” Applejack rattled off in her cheery, southern drawl. Maybe Naruto was over-thinking it and she was just in high spirits? He smiled anyway.
“Just here to look at whatever work is posted up.” Applejack went wide-eyed at Naruto’s response.
“Ya lookin’ for work? In that case, you came to the right cowpony!” Applejack proclaimed, leaving Naruto grasping at straws.
“I did…?”
“Darn tootin’! Ah could use an extra pair of hooves today up at the farm. Ya see… We ran into a problem this morning… Big Mac and ah were supposed to be bucking apples off the northern fields but Big Mac caught something. I’ve learned that ah can’t handle the farm by my lonesome the hard way, so I came to hopefully hire somepony to help out, at least until Big Mac is all better.”
“Big Mac?”
“My big brother, Big Macintosh. You haven’t met him yet but he works with me on the farm.”
“I see… so… bucking apples? Um…” He started to think back on what the word ‘buck’ would mean… he heard it being used by a couple of ponies around here and he could easily tell what it was supposed to mean.
He began to blush slightly and he looked down at the ground in embarrassment. “W-why would you run a farm that involves bucking apples?”
“Huh? Why wouldn’t ah be?”
“Well, you ‘buck’ apples right?” As she nodded, he continued. ”So you’re telling me you hump apples with your…” Naruto trailed off as his blush intensified. Applejack tilted her head in confusion, but then realized what Naruto was saying, her eyes going wide as saucers as a small blush formed on her muzzle too.
“Oh hay n-no! Geez Partner, you’re not very familiar with words around here, now are you? W-what made you come to such ah conclusion? We don’t do ‘that’ to our apples. What are yah, crazy?” Applejack said with a glare.
“Don’t blame me! I’m just… I’m still getting used to the vocabulary here…”, squeaked an embarrased Naruto.
“…Well, erm, as ah was saying,” she said with a cough, ”I mean kicking apple trees and harvesting their apples.”
“Ohhh… Kicking trees…” Now that made more sense to Naruto, but he wished she had been much more specific in her word choice... Double meanings and all that.
“Well… How long do you need me for? And what’s the pay?”
“You’ll be working ‘til the afternoon and possibly tomorrow as well. It depends on how fast Big Mac gets over whatever he’s got and ah’ll pay ya 35 bits for your time. Ah might throw in a bonus for ya if you do good.”
In Naruto’s opinion, 35 bits wasn’t a lot but Applejack definitely needed the help. Her eyes were drooped down a little bit, and she had that look that said ‘Please help me!’ Plus, it was an opportunity for Naruto to both test and work on his strength. He happily nodded.
“Alright, I’ll give it my all. Believe it!”
*****
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YES.
Friday and I have been eagerly waiting for the chapter update.
I know I will call it awesome( unless i say otherwise) so now I put that here.
Expect a later comment about spelling stuff (If you want I can PM it all instead)
907598
A PM would be lovely, thank you.
You just HAD to make the bucking apples joke...
Naruto's probably gonna make a few clones to help out. Or, at least, he'll try.
Oh, and "The chakra was still in place and he was still in pony form. He let his focus drop, the chakra being let go, and sighed dejectedly.
“Darn it… So I’m still stuck as a pony… Is it because I’m limited to this species now? Well, a human does differ in terms of anatomy to a pony…So, I can’t say that I’m not surprised...”? Naruto has transformed into weapons before.
as usual, you grace us with another great chapter! Keep up the awesome work!
Yayz new Naruto!
907654 Whassat bout Gilda?
907724 She was crashing in Naruto's house, leavin her eggs in his fridge yo!
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-oh-buck.png
am i the only one who thought of the "changeling" accusation after he used the transformation jutsu?
907736 That or Cockatrice. Ima place my bet on the latter.
907798 Nope, the rest of us just ignored it because they were ignorant of the existence of changelings until quite a while after this point in the story so it is WAY down the road and not worth considering yet.
907836 Ah, but Gilda with her talons explains the torn up bed much better than a snake bodied cockatrice!
907844
A baby griffon... that would be horrifying for Naruto to take care of. XD
907863 But would it be horrifying for us to watch/read?
907844
except for the fact it was shown that ponies have a prior knowledge of what changelings were to "that" point in time. so who are we to say that they dont already know and could call him a such?
Let's us BUCK some apples.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/105/a/9/applejack__apples_in_deals____by_leopurofriki-d4w7mlp.jpg
Also my vote is for Dragon Egg.
He should get the job done in 10 seconds flat.
lol thats what happens when you curse all the time, pones start getting the wrong ideas.
907895 Ponies as a species have that knowledge but not the hicks in Ponyville. If it was common knowledge then Twilight would have just accused Chrysalis of being a changeling and everypony would have taken her seriously. Not to mention if everypony knew about them then they would have a much harder time feeding and would get caught more.
907925 i agree with the second thing you said
907966
ok
1) hicks? seriously that's just mean dude.
2) even if they did know, im pretty sure if a creature could transform into and EXACT copy of you physical form, abilities and all, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference and thus the possible decrease of feeding would more likely not happen.
3) calling someone a changeling would be a serious offense if it was common knowledge thus the ponies would call for proof that twilight didn't have at the time. and before you say about trying to prove if naruto is a changeling i meant only for them to accuse as such if they thus saw him transform.
'He turns around and runs down the path' Shouldnt it be 'He turned and ran down the path'
>.> naruto is weak and aint uhm buckint well... used rasengan instead blow away a tree <.< i see it soooo gona happen. then again its a nice training
dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss
907999 Imma gonna ignore you now. On account of us small town hicks not liking to argue with people using such flawed logic in support of contradictory theories.
Oh god, I remember that Garfield comic
Also, you and your stupid puns. That 'wood' one actually physically hurt me.
*Goes American and sues*
Omg an update!
WOOOOOO!
apple-bucking...
lol~!
Please sir do continue
i am loving this story!
and now we see naruto attempt a full taju kage bunshin no jutsu (art of multiple shadow doppleganger to people who don't know the real translations) come on naruto the chakra is still there you just need to grasp it! if not then grasp equestrias chakra! surely it's even more powerful then you worlds!
Make it a Vulpix egg.
:3
907654
In Team 7's first battle against Zabuto, Naruto transforms into a giant shuriken that Sasuke throws at him.
908523 EXACTLY!!! Thank you!
Somebrony else sees it!
908586 And NOW somebrony posts the EVIDENCE!! I'm just feeling so much vindication love today!
907654
You mean like this:
narutopod.com/manga/Naruto-Chapter-14/image/1050/naruto_v02_ch014_143.jpg
narutopod.com/manga/cache/Naruto-Chapter-14/naruto_v02_ch014_144-145.jpg_1050.jpg
908550 Woohoo!
Deidara is best pony. Just throwing that out there.
907925
908335 but.. this isn't pokemon..
908695
THEN WHO WAS PRINCESS
907992
but why won't you agree with the first thing I said.
908642 Yes, I think I broke him. Now I just need to implant my mind controlling hamster into your brain and you'll be my perfect little minion. (evil laugh)
908750 Oh yes. It was far too much for my young mind to handle. Surely a 16yo such as myself has seen nothing more sexual than that.
He is going to break the tree in half
Well, mystery egg is can be used for multiple things. It could turn out to be a pet. Or mabye some intelegent being like a grifin. That way you can keep the whole "mother" gag going with Naruto. Mabye even spark a rivalry between it and Princess. Or you can turn it into a quest trying to figure out what egg it is, then have them figure out it's a regular egg and make an omlet out of it. Or a combination of the three plus whatever else you think of.
908788 if you want I can do worst, I am after all a graduate of Princess Trollestia's school for Trolling.
909184 I'm Molestia's personal assviser. Do your so called "worst".
909284 OH GOD!! Greatest Pun Ever!
909456 us13.memecdn.com/Bitch-Please_o_138988.jpg
907798
No, I got that, too. Maybe he'll get lucky and that universe won't be one where they invade.
-
Also, Garfield reference ftw!
I wonder what would happen if Naruto did the sexy no jutsu........
I think the egg should be something unique. something not in the show. a pokemon would be funny, but weird. i could think of some mythical creatures for you if you want (I know quite a few).
as for him not being able to transform into a human, Death probably made it so he CAN'T.
910480
I'm not doing Pokemon... That would be so out of place it wouldn't be funny...
908586
And I completely forgot that part of that episode/page... Ah well.