This is a tale of a stranger seeking redemption.
Chapters (8)
B_25
Joined 18th Apr, 2013 ·
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Em ... wasn't this removed from the site?
Hey B_25 what made change your mind, it is a good story want to see it continued.
Does this mean you're continuing on with this story?
6654866 I sure hope so. Got to re-read this whole story now because I don't remember much of it!
Be sure to let us know ASAP if this is a complete revise before I start reading again please? Thanks!
Jesus this story hasn't been active for over a year. Thought this was dead.
I'm so happy for this update-make!
And here we go!
Not a bad way to have a different starting view. How did Aj know to call him Cole, if he never told her his fake name?
I gotta say this is an interesting read, I'm keeping my eye on this one. I guess this is a sequel to spike's goodbye huh anyway keep it up well be waiting for the next chapter
6654637 It was removed, however we convinced one of the Moderators to bring it back. Didn't even know they keep old stories somewhere, wherever that is.
As for what made him want to revise the story? He feels the story is deserving of a revision, plus he hated the original. And i mean hate. So he we are, like 2 1/2 years later or something.
6762390 Continuity errors that might have slipped past the editors. There was a big debate about his name and if we should change it, or even have it mentioned. We'll look at it later when were all awake and competent.
//EDIT Fixed.
6762390 completely unrelated, however good catch
6654866 Forget everything you knew about the original story. Same concept, new plot
6655431 refer above ^
Home... dammit now i think back Toriel (Mom) again.
It still hurt me when I read. Huh, weird.
Looks like it's gonna be a good story once again. Though only thing that bothers me is that AJ calles spike "cole" when he hasn't even said anything about being called that.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes/how its going to differ.
Well, that was a better opening. Keep it up!
"Bind his arms together" that's something of a bondage talk.
Yeah boy! This is going to be fun.
So we meet again, old friend. Once again you emerge from the light of your day and return to the darkness that is Fimfiction.
If you could be as so kind as to answer, what is the reasoning for your return? Why come to this story?
And more importantly, why take up writing again?
Your pal
–Regal25
6775298 I write to write again. Now, my friend, who are you?
yeah!!!!!!!
I was hoping for this story to come back!! thanks!!!
This appears at the top of my updated favorites, but there is no new chapter..
6812605 That was my bad; I meant to save a chapter but pressed published instead. It'll be up by tomorrow.
Say, what do you think of the tale thus far?
i almost never read stories about Spike but i can actually say that i like this one
its definitely going in my tracking
6813223
Thus far? Well clearly I enjoy it, else it wouldn't be in my favorites. Though I must say that I almost wish you hadn't broke the news to all of the main six so fast. Let a rumor start or have flutter have a young slip while at the spaw with rarity... You know, something like that. But hey, it's your story, so you go have fun with it and make it how you want to make it.
6815076 God, he'll write an entire sentence in past, present, and future, and it annoys the fuck out of me
......
Another great chapter, keep up the good work.
I'm glad that Spike is having a serious reaction at the prospect of actually seeing Twilight again, after all these years... him just seeing her and having no reaction would be weird.
So... the whole crystal castle thing didn't happen, in this one, but the alicorn ascension did?
The reveal better come soon man, cause last time you wrote this story it to waaaaaaaayyy too long!!
Um....Spike was there when she became a Princess, so he should already know that. Also since he's aged up it would me the fillies and colts are to by default. Also I'm surprised Peewee is not accompanying him, seeing as how he is Spike's pet. Since, interstating, I'm sticking around.
6830677 not in this one. He ran away early season 3.
6830694 Oh, ok. Makes sense....why not just go to Canterlot if he really wanted to stay away? I'm sure his mother is more then able to really keep him from experiencing bad memories.
6830725 Cause his hatred against the Mane 6 kind turned into more of a hatred for ponykind. Spike is still Spike, but he's very cautious around ponies and doesn't trust them. Going to Canterlot, a society that doesn't really mesh well with Spike's personality, and well, you know, there's ponies there, wouldn't have been a good idea.
6830913 Great to hear man! Stay tuned
6830177 In the show, there was a gap between Princess Twilight and the Friendship Castle. While we haven't officially pinpointed the timeline down, we write as if it's between season 4 roughly (Which I think is the one where Princess Twilight still lives in Golden Oaks Library).
6829634 Yes?
I'm sorry but, I don't like this chapter. Spike was meant to be cold and distant I this story, so why the frequent chuckles and so much talking and apologizing. You said he hated these mares.
Spike, doesn't have to be a dick but, the excuses and playful remarks aren't needed. Other than, Applejack and Fluttershy, for saving his life, and the CMC (for clearly cute reasons), the other four should be given as little to no willingness from, Spike, as much as possible. Just say, "No" and mean it! Stop having, Spike, come for as a pussy. Just give a no and go!
6831733 Agreed
People give Big Mac to little credit. I hope to soon see what exactly caused Spike to leave.
I hope this story continues with character's just naturally finding out the truth about Spike without a big reveal, that would make it so much more interesting.
7092409 I agree.
Nice to have a moment where Mac, actually has more than a few words to say.
RD is a real BAMF!
Needs a reread and some editing but a good chapter none the less.
I do recommend that this chapter be the one that AJ discover's the secret without letting Spike know, but I'm sure you'll figure something out latter on.
I like where this is headed
Im confused as to what lunas problem is. And her odd treatment of spike.
Wow! That dream section was chaotic! Nicely done.
7217488
Yeah... I almost get the feeling that the most important part is how everything goes to shit once she says "I would have helped but y'know... I was just so angry at your friends... and I really felt like I shouldn't get too angry at them, so I did nothing."
I can't tell if this is her genuinely betraying that she really did care, or that she never really did care. I suspect Spike feels like it's the second, and the way Luna consistently says that she's not doing it for him reinforces it.
In fact... really... Luna's excuse for why she didn't send any support his way is basically confirming Spike's suspicion that the problems all come from him not being important enough to care about. Twilight was important, so she didn't side with Spike even when Spike was (apparently) the one being hurt, and Twilight was in the wrong.
Not that we actually know what happened yet, and that apparently Luna blames Spike for the negative consequences of it.
But it's that, and the attitude that she treats him currently, that is actually rather common in exacerbating someone's feelings of being cast out and solitude. Once you're an outcast, once you're bitter, then everyone will avoid you because you're the outcast and bitter.
Really, though, the bitterness of Spike is very believable. The fact that he is a danger to others, but is first and foremost suffering himself is uh... great's the wrong word. Compelling.
Even though it's as counter-productive to him connecting with everything as it normally is.
Also... uh... really this chapter goes by with Spike being normal Spike instead of disguised, and apparently he looks very different but you don't actually ever describe Spike. This could be intentional, but as it is it's somewhat bewildering. Was this described in an earlier chapter and it's just easy to forget?
Also:
Is this Applejack slipping into old habits, or betraying she suspects that he really is who he actually is?
7264290 very well said.
7265390 Indeed.
7264290 I love the way you dig into things, and I beg of you to keep doing so, and let us know more of your thoughts in the comments.
As for Luna, I feel as though she has too much guilt associated with the mane six: so even it they were in the wrong, she couldn't say or do much. I'd like to think at one point she cared for Spike, as she does she some of herself within him, but it's hard to guess what her intentions are, as her only goal is to make sure Spike does no harm.
Could she possibly still care for him, despite his ill-nature? There's a chance, but a slim one. And even if she did care, its not like she would have much to hope for, with the way Spike is now.
In the prologue I've described his basic features, but from that, I tend to stay away from character describing. Interfering with the image the reader has in their head never ends positively. And besides, I'm kinda shit on describing a character's looks. Lola.
As for for that slip, I'd say its a case of both. While it was just a habit, and thrown in to give a little spice, I don't think Applejack has given up the concept that the dragon is Spike. And she will go out of her way to prove this, while keeping neutral enough to not destroy whatever it is the two now have.
Mind, as this story takes place, it is true that Spike had died while running away. So that may put a damper on Applejack's investigation, as she could just be fooling herself to prove that the impossible is possible.
Anyway, its five am and I've been writing for the past four hours. I'm going to go get some shut-eye.
Take good care of yourself, mates. And forgive the horrid grammar that my tired eyes have missed.
Peace.
B_25
7266282
If I've got more, sure!
I think I appreciate how you are taking the "Spike leaves 'cause he's bitter at how he was treated and his low self esteem" concept and... playing it like that bitterness is the emotional poison it would be, but without making it that he never had a reason to be bitter in the first place. At least trying at the nuance something as awful as this would need to have, with no side truly in the right (disclaimer: we don't know what happened, and things might seem very different once we do.)
I think there's a good story in that concept, but most stories written about it are uh... not so great. It's not an easy story type to balance.
The problem with this chapter is that you explicitly say that Spike looks different, but we can only tell by someone saying "wow you look different now." It's one thing to not want to interfere with my mental image, and another to indicate his appearance is significantly changing but not nail it down, which would create my image in the first place.