Fluttershy and Dash's date takes an unexpected turn.
Done seriously by Pegasus-Skip
Chapters (1)
FruitMaster
Joined 12th Dec, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- FlutterPal · 3.4k words · 10 4 · 1.1k views
- StarGuardian · 3.5k words · 52 1 · 2.5k views
- Mr Marshmallow · 1.6k words · 29 6 · 1.5k views
- Derpy The Mailpony · 5.7k words · 45 5 · 3.1k views
- theYasha · 2.4k words · 60 3 · 1.8k views
- Puppo530 · 4.3k words · 33 5 · 1.4k views
- NibbleNueva · 1.4k words · 20 0 · 1.6k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.073 seconds
Total duration
798 users online
1,004,587 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
that was pretty crap but I laughed myself silly at that ending, since that was obviously the desired effect i'd say well done and have a like
Well done; that was absolutely terrible but still easy to read and entertaining.
Dat ending
in b4 featured
2827503 I will laugh so hard if this gets featured.
But I just wrote this out of boredom and curiosity. 
Dat ending XD LOL
Hmm... a couple small issues, nothing serious.
1: The last few paragraphs were more on par with Mature. It's usually better to say something like "Fluttershy nodded, and Rainbow slowly began to set to work on her marefriend" if you're trying to avoid clop.
2: The ending... random bomb and they die? I'm sorry, but no. Just no. Never do that.
Like I said, nothing big, but it's right on the border of good and great, and you can easily push it the rest of the way.
2827503>>2827623
A story has to be at least 4000 words long before it can get featuerd... So there's that.
2827882 This was not meant to be serious AT ALL.
I can understand the problem with the rating and I was just going for "shock value" if you want to call it that. I was more shooting for reactions like Funinnightmare had. (I honestly don't know why I wrote this)
2828011 oh, well. I wrote this in three hours, so I didn't expect much.
2828114
Hmm... Well, it is your first time writing something, right?
If you want, I can provide you with a handful of links to sites with a ton of stuff you could learn a bunch from. I've read a little of it and it's helped me a bit.
*Reads endng*... I WAS ONLY HALF WAY DONE!!!!
On a more serious note, you write decently, although the ending was a bit.... abrupt. You could have easily extended this story into 10,000 words, and 6 chapters.... JS bro.
2828386 I know it was abrupt. it was supposed to be.
2828130 I've written many things in the past, but they weren't about ponies so I couldn't post them here. I've written *some* fanfiction an mlp, but I either didn't like it or lost interest. This was just a stupid short I made at 1 in the morning.
Well, the title fits the story well...
They have been lowered for everyone but me. My expectations are always low so I am surprised. Which you did.
Although I've never written a pony fic before would it be ok if I wrote a story based on this/expanding this - MINUS the bomb at the end - if you're curious at how I write normally let me know and I'll pm you a link to one of my other fics.
2837112 Go ahead. it'd be cool to see this done seriously.
Wow... Umm... Yay?
I was reading it wondering when the mysterious object would reapear in the story but was distracted by the ending. Felt it could have used some more depth but brilliantly structured!
XD I laughed at the very ending "Then the bomb from the street detonated and everypony died."
What the fuck was that ending?! DISLIKE
So many people are posting comments complaining about the ending without reading the other comments explaining it...
Oh my gosh! A bomb hit and everypony died.
The End
Fuck you. That was the biggest WTF moment in my life but I still LMAO'ed
XD JAJAJAJAJA REALLY NICE STORY, it was pretty nice indeed and the ending
hilairious, seriously people is stupid to give a dislike only because the ending was "weird", this is a good story and that what really matters....
...a bomb.....
jajajajajajajajajaja
Best. Ending. Ever.
Amazingly abrupt ... lmao
Screw the dislikes. The ending was great.
That moment when the worst thing I will ever write has over 1000 views...