<

totallynotabrony

Joined February 2012
1,751 followers

Stories (82)

  • The Night Shift
    What do you do when you've been turned into a vampire? For Cheerilee, the answer is "get a second job."

    23,047 words · 5,889 views · 527 likes · 9 dislikes
  • MVP
    Twilight finds the sports section of an ancient newspaper. The pony on the front page looks strangely familiar...
    1,763 words · 3,489 views · 336 likes · 5 dislikes
  • The Adventures of Vampire Cheerilee
    Exactly what it sounds like
    6,864 words · 6,506 views · 491 likes · 10 dislikes
  • The Adventures of Cyborg Braeburn
    Exactly what it sounds like
    8,696 words · 2,278 views · 180 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Miller
    38,914 words · 4,778 views · 537 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Wet Dreams
    24,026 words · 4,171 views · 298 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Tooth and Nail
    25,199 words · 6,871 views · 777 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Little Lies
    4,119 words · 831 views · 77 likes · 0 dislikes
  • The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien
    48,154 words · 2,851 views · 287 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Treaty
    1,234 words · 5,553 views · 936 likes · 36 dislikes

Blog Posts (40)


On the eve of the Gulf War, a US Navy ship sails through an intense storm and into a different world.

Equestria and the other members of the United Lands are attempting to remove the dragons from their encroachment into Zebrica, but diplomacy is failing.  While nopony wants a war, it appears that there might be no other option.

Captain John Mittal and the rest of the sailors aboard USS Wisconsin have some tough political and ethical choices to make.   This isn't their fight, but can they stand by while the rest of the world prepares for war?

First Published
15th Feb 2012
Last Modified
18th Feb 2012

Comments ( 411 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

This..Is Really good!

#2 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

Battleships are magic?

I mad a smile on my face anticipating the reactions of all involved with a meeting here so Kudos to you for that. I'll be watching you closele.:ajsmug:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Worth a read and well written. I approve!

#4 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Not bad.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Yup. Definitely tracking... :moustache:

#6 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

I like, please do continue this story :twilightsmile:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

tracked.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

In the navy, lived on a ship, totally understand that line, "Um, orders, sir?"

#9 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

This has potential :twistnerd:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

I love seeing quirky ideas for crossover fics. I have this a track and am excited for the next chapter.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Wow. This is well written and interesting. I'm tracking this.:pinkiehappy:

#12 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

It's pretty good, but there is a big error in your story in that the captain of the Wisconsin was Captain Jerry Blesch, not Mittal. Here's a list of the ship's history (for you, and everyone else reading this post) for the record. Everything else is bang on though.

#13 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

>>223517

This is fiction.  Tom Clancy never used real people.  

Thanks for the link.  I've been tripping all over myself trying to keep things historically accurate, yet still get a freaking battlship to Equestria.

#14 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

*Glasses Off* Shit just got real.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>224107

Of course he did! They just had a tendency to be conveniently become irrelevant or die before the fictional characters got involved in events.

#16 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Fire the 16inch MOAR Battery

5

4

3

2

1

FIRE

MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

DIRECT HIT SIR

#17 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

I'm literally laughing out loud at some of these comments.

#18 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

I have a suggestion. Maybe you could make it that a few more ships got pulled through, but turned up in other areas of the storm.

#19 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

I can just tell Rarity must be horrified by a Marine's uniform. Waiting for the next chapter, comrade. :pinkiehappy:

#20 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Is this based off of the Destroyerman series? :rainbowhuh: If it is, then this will be so awesome. :rainbowkiss:

#21 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224198

I probably won't.  Stories are all about conflict and the struggles to resolve it.  With the rest of the battle group to support her, Wisconsin would turn into one giant steel Mary Sue.  It would be too easy, and then the story would end early.  I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't either. :twilightsmile:

#22 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224292

I actually was planning something like that.

#23 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224422

Never heard of the series before you mentioned it.  I might have to check it out.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Poast more, sleep less!

Srsly, can't wait to get past this horrible cliffhanger!

...I got nothing else.

#25 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Dayumm. USS Wisconsin will deliver some serious fire if anything fucks with them.

Tracking.

#26 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

Great work so far, keep it going and we'll see how you do!

#27 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

>>224107

You're welcome. I suggest checking out that site and others for more information on the Wisconsin, maybe even asking the curators of its historical society some questions, in order to be as accurate as possible.

Also, this is indeed very good so far. I'll be tracking to see how this develops in the future. :twilightsmile:

#28 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 1d ago · · ·

You have most definitely caught my attention, good sir. This is wunderbar so far!

I eagerly await the next update!

#29 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

lol, nice

short, but well made with few grammatical errors. I applaude you sir.

also first

:trollestia:  

#30 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

This is good.  Keep it up.

:pinkiehappy:

#31 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

Three chappies in one day?! Awesome! :raritystarry:

#32 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · 3 · ·

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

FIRE ALL MOAR BATTERYS!!

LOADED AND READY TO FIRE

FIRE

#33 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

Honestly, this felt rushed and choppy, I prefer the first two chapters far more. Sorry:applecry:

#34 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

Damn you Thedever!!!! You stole my first's!!!!:flutterrage:

#35 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 23h ago · · ·

>>225218

Overkill: So rarely necessary, so often fun!

#36 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 22h ago · · ·

>>225227

Don't feel bad.  I think you're the first person to actually give me constructive criticism.  You're right, I am rushing.  Too many ideas at once.

I'll make up for it with some really neat dialogue in ch4.

#37 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 22h ago · 3 · ·

>>225218

Darn it, you ruined the surprise! :rainbowlaugh:

#38 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 18h ago · · ·

If nothing else, try going for longer chapters. That should help the pace a good bit.

#39 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 17h ago · 2 · ·

First contact was a little more rushed than ought to be IMO. Then again, it's a refreshing change for ponies and humans to immediately get along. You lack the cynical misanthropism that most HiE writers seem to have,

#40 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 17h ago · · ·

MOAR! :3

#41 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 13h ago · 2 · ·

IMHO you should have written out the scene with the marines meeting the mane 6. It was prehaps the most important scene in the chapter and it happend "off screen".

This way I'm left wondering, why it went so well. Are marines trained to make first contact with extrateresstian lifeforms?

And I can agree that it felt rushed. Just take your time to write and edit. Us readers can wait a few days for new chapters.

#42 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 12h ago · · ·

“What is that thing, anyway?” said the rainbow pegasus, pointing a hoof at the helicopter.  “It doesn’t look like it should fly.”

I've got to point out that RD's Tank can fly using a propeller stuck to his back. So this kinda goes against canon.

#43 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 11h ago · 2 · ·

Enjoyable, but the other commenters are right. Unlike the first two chapters, this one felt much more rushed. I would have loved to see more of the conversation between the marine landing party and the ponies, for instance... and a little bit more of what I like to call the "WTF moment" on the part of the humans. It felt like they took discovering the dominant sentient species on the new planet is a race of magical ponies a little too in stride.

I'm not saying you needed to spend another 3k works on those things or anything... but a little bit more exposition to set the mood and scene would have been nice.

Nevertheless, the story itself was well-written and I continue to look forward to new chapters.

#44 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 11h ago · · ·

>>226210

To be fair, Tank in no way looks like it should be able to fly either... but such is the power of magic.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 9h ago · 3 · ·

As others have said, it was way too choppy. The humans were too nonchalant about everything, the first contact scene was left out, there simply is no way for the timeline to make any sense since it would have taken at least an hour at the soonest to get the chopper ready and fly the no doubt dozens of miles to Canterlot (that whole scene really doesn't make any sense in the first place since the crew of the Wisconsin should have waited for the Equestrians to send a diplomatic envoy to be polite and save on fuel), Twilight's abilities seem to be a bit overstated considering that that the most distance she's ever teleported has been a few hundred feet, and darnit, it's the United States Navy not the United States of America Navy.

#46 · Chapter 4 · 135w, 9h ago · · ·

First reaction: Oh great. Another failed attempt at HiE story. :rainbowhuh:

Second reaction after reading Ch1: Hell yes, I am tracking this!!! Man your battle stations and prepare for some epic reading!!! :rainbowdetermined2:

#47 · Chapter 4 · 135w, 8h ago · · ·

Haven't read yet, but the description sounds like that movie from the 80's "The Final Countdown"...which I loved :pinkiehappy:  

#48 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 8h ago · · ·

I see it now I se everthing now, ITS TIME TO GO FIND THAT STORM SO I CAN BE IN EQUESTRIA! :pinkiehappy:

tracking

#49 · Chapter 4 · 135w, 8h ago · · ·

>>226579

I remember reading about that movie...

0 11106 36010
Login or register to comment