Friendship is Giant Robots

by 108Echoes

Chapter Five: Hers, in Flesh and Spirit

Twilight collapsed. Her ANIMa thudded to the ground, raising a cloud of gray moon dust. The static of her broken link with Fluttershy filled her ears. There was no other sound. Twilight raised her head and glared at her foe, the most defiance she could manage for the moment.

He was an alicorn, immense and once-majestic. In his ruined form, Twilight could see the echoes of former glory, and even that slight resemblance to Princess Celestia made her feel physically sick. Bile burned at the back of her throat.

The alicorn in front of her could have been princely, once. Now he was a monster. His mottled gray hide was covered in bruises, sores, and half-healed cuts. He no longer had the toned muscles she’d expect of an alicorn; his skin hung loosely on his emaciated frame, and his ribs were caved in. His wings were tattered rags, and his horn was a spur of yellowed bone. His eyes were worst of all, like a dead thing’s. He looked toward Twilight, but those cold eyes showed no signs of surprise, or interest, or acknowledgement.

Twilight took a deep breath and struggled back to her hooves. Her enemy tilted his head to one side and stared at her emptily. Focusing energy into her ANIMa’s golden horn, she sent a silent prayer to Princess Celestia: “Give me strength. Give me the will and the power to triumph.” An orb of sunlight began to grow at the tip of her horn, throwing the moon’s surface into sharp monochrome relief. From that shining horn, Twilight’s connection with her Princess, came a beam of blazing sunlight, lancing toward the monstrous thing in front of her.

The sunbeam hit her enemy, and he did not flinch.

Twilight focused on her memories of the Princess. She forced more magic through her horn, and thought back.

When she was just a foal, that first glimpse of Princess Celestia raising the sun. How majestic she’d looked, how beautiful.

At the entrance exam for Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. That soothing touch bringing her out of her uncontrollable surge of magic, and the offer to become the Princess’s personal student.

Princess Celestia, raising her in Canterlot. Sending her to Ponyville. Talking with her at the Gala. Princess Celestia had always been there for her: teaching, leading, guiding.

All that I am, Twilight thought, all that I could be, is because of the Princess. I can’t fail her. Her horn throbbed painfully, but she shut her eyes and gave all the energy she had over into her spell.

There was a deep, wrenching crack. Twilight fell to her knees.

Her ANIMa’s armor was dented and sparks sputtered from its joints, but that was no matter, merely a consequence of battle. Her ANIMa’s horn was damaged as well. One long, spidery fracture ran from base to tip.

The nightmare before her was unharmed.

It stepped forward. It raised a hoof to crush her.

Twilight sobbed, waiting for its final blow. The static in her ears broke, and Fluttershy was screaming again. I’ve failed you, Fluttershy, Twilight thought. I’ve failed everyone.

I’ve failed the Princess.

There was a jolt—not the finality of the nightmare’s attack, but from the emergency mission abort. Twilight couldn’t bring herself to care.

---

A warm light shone through Twilight’s closed eyelids. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Princess Celestia standing above her. She was struck for a moment—more than a moment—by how beautiful the Princess looked in the glow of the rising sun. Then Twilight shook her head. Such thoughts were inappropriate, were something to be ashamed of, especially for somepony as flawed as her. The Princess tried to meet her eyes, but Twilight flinched and looked away. She couldn’t face the Princess, not now. Maybe not ever again.

She was in the ANIMa lab, lying on one of the spare cots. She didn’t know how long she’d been out, how long she had made the Princess wait. Her throat was dry and her lips were cracked, but she managed a whisper. “Please, Princess Celestia,” she said, “I’m sorry. Please don’t...” She trailed off. “I’m sorry, Princess,” she finished weakly. There were no words to properly articulate the depth of her failures.

The Princess placed a gentle hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. She flinched and tried to pull away, but her muscles wouldn’t respond. The Princess took no notice. “You have nothing to apologize for, my dearest student,” she said.

“I failed you, Princess!” Twilight blurted, finally mustering the will to roll away from the Princess’s hoof. “I know why you haven’t had me running missions: it’s because you think I’m weaker than the others. And you’re right, Princess; I don’t have the same strength as Applejack, or Rainbow Dash. I shouldn’t have volunteered for pilot duty. I wanted to impress you, Princess, to make you proud, but I—I couldn’t. I can’t. I can’t do anything.”

The Princess placed her hoof back on Twilight’s shoulder. For a moment Twilight leaned back, savoring the light pressure on her coat. She wanted nothing more than to accept that comforting warmth, and to... no, but she shouldn’t. She couldn’t. She wasn’t worth it, and so she took a deep breath and pulled away. “Please don’t, Princess,” she said. “I just... please. I should rest.”

---

Twilight drifted in and out of sleep. There was very little difference between the two. She stared at the ceiling with eyes open or closed, ignoring the others as they flitted around her.

A word drifted through Twilight’s mind. Stupor: noun. A state generally characterized by the apparent lack of higher cognitive functions. The sufferer remains rigid and mute, and almost entirely unresponsive to outside stimulus. While stupor itself is not a disorder, it is usually symptomatic of serious mental conditions.

Twilight knew the word, but she wasn’t listening to her inner dictionary. The crackling voices of the Core were too loud. They rose and fell in pitch, like a hymn sung by a wildfire. She couldn’t understand the song; its chords escaped classification. She wanted to join in, but no pony throat could make those sounds.

A single, sweet voice rose from the chorus. The voice filled her up, giving her the completeness she had been lacking, strengthening that in her which was weak—which, as Twilight knew all too well, was most of her. The voice whispered to Twilight that she was strong, that she was worthy, that maybe, just maybe, she could be loved. Inimitably beautiful, that voice led the song to a shimmering climax which echoed through Twilight’s head.

The last harmonic sizzles faded, and once again Twilight could think clearly, see clearly. And what she saw was Nightmare Moon, the source of their destruction, stepping delicately toward her with a cheerful smile and a halo of starshine.

Twilight screamed and recoiled. She fell backward, tumbling down into darkness. Above her, Nightmare Moon grew smaller and smaller, more and more distant, and with the smile still on her face, she called, “Twilight Sparkle, you need not flee. I’ll be waiting for you again.”

---

Twilight kicked off her sheets as she woke, shaking, from her nightmare. Her Nightmare, perhaps.

The Princess was there. Twilight didn’t know if the Princess had only just come back to the ANIMa lab, or if she had been there all night. She hoped for the former: she was not deserving of such devotion as the latter would have implied.

The Princess saw the violence with which she awoke and moved closer, to place a gentle hoof on Twilight’s forehead. “Twilight Sparkle,” she said, “my most faithful student, are you well? Your sleep seemed... disturbed.”

“I’m fine, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said, “just a bad dream. Nothing you should worry about.” Then she remembered herself, and her voice dropped to a mumble. “And... don’t say that. Like that. I’m not your most faithful anything, I don’t deserve that title.”

The Princess shook her head. “If you insist on calling me ‘Princess,’ then I will continue to call you ‘my most faithful student.’ You deserve your title far more than I deserve mine. Equestria is finished, Twilight Sparkle. There is nothing left for me to be Princess of.”

“You’re still the Princess. You’ll always be the Princess. You’re...” Twilight trailed off. “You’re my Princess,” she whispered into the thin mattress.

Princess Celestia’s ears twitched, but she did not respond. She gazed at Twilight, and Twilight could not bear to meet those beautiful, ancient eyes. Instead she buried her face in her ragged gray pillow.

The silence stretched on. Twilight couldn’t face her, but she needed to say something to break the silence. Finally she mustered her voice. “Do you... do you still love your sister?” she asked. “Princess Luna? Nightmare Moon?”

For a long moment, there was no response. Then the Princess said, simply, “Yes.”

“Why?” Twilight asked, head still down. “After the Bliss. After the first time she became Nightmare Moon, even. She’s caused so much pain. How can you still love her?”

Another long, slow pause before the Princess spoke. “We are of a kind, my sister and I. We understand each other, in a way mortal ponies cannot understand us.” She trailed off, then began again. “Twilight Sparkle, I still love my sister. That will not prevent me from doing what is necessary for the good of Equestria. I must put my citizens’ well-being before my own feelings. If you ask because you are worried that my resolve is lacking... rest assured, my faithful student, that I will do what I must.”

The Princess pulled the blanket up around Twilight and tucked her in. There was a soft touch on Twilight’s shoulder, but she shrank away.

---

Twilight Sparkle stood upon a shining disk of blue light. Above her shone the innumerable stars. Before her stood Nightmare Moon.

Nightmare Moon stepped toward Twilight, and that starry mane reached out to embrace her. Twilight flinched, and Nightmare Moon giggled. “Twilight Sparkle, please don’t try to run. I only want to talk to you. I must admit, I am intrigued by your defiance.” Her mane was light and cool as it brushed against Twilight’s skin.

Twilight’s knees shook, but she kept her voice steady. “Why are you doing this?”

Nightmare Moon gestured to the space around them. “This? I already told you, I wish to talk.”

“Not—not the talking. Why are you attacking Equestria? We beat you once before, with the Elements of Harmony. You got better. You were Princess Luna again, and everypony was happy. Why couldn’t things have stayed like that?”

Nightmare Moon stepped closer as her mane stroked along Twilight’s back. She reached out one metal-shod hoof and ran it down the side of Twilight’s face. Where Princess Celestia’s touch was warm, Nightmare Moon’s armor was cold and hard, but there was a tenderness to her movements.

“Twilight Sparkle, my sister and I are of a kind. I understand her in a way no mortal pony can.”

Twilight shivered. “I know. She told me the same thing, that you understand each other.”

“So Celestia told you that? You are her dearest student, I suppose. I should not be surprised that she confides in you.” Nightmare Moon set her hoof down, and the metal of her armor chimed on the hard blue light on which they stood. “But it’s not true, her version of it. It hasn’t been true for more than a thousand years. I understand her, mind and spirit, but she has no concern for me. She abandoned me, her only sister, in favor of you mortals.”

“She had to,” Twilight whispered. “You were attacking Equestria. She had to stop you.”

“That's not true!” Nightmare Moon roared. Her mane, twined about Twilight’s body, went suddenly frigid. Its touch against her skin was cold enough to burn, and Twilight tried to escape, thrashing, but Nightmare Moon’s mane only twisted tighter. “Before I ever thought of eternal night, my sister had abandoned me. She turned away from me, so that she could sate her pride with your adoration! She left me nothing!”

Then Nightmare Moon was smiling again, and her mane subsided to a gentle chill, numbing the pain in Twilight’s limbs, though it did not loosen its grip. “My sister abandoned me, Twilight Sparkle, but I’ve never abandoned her. I still love her.” Her mane, already tight, constricted further around Twilight’s body.

“Yours will be the last generation to walk Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. You will die, or you will sleep. Celestia will be Princess of a mausoleum.” Nightmare Moon’s mane was crushingly tight, but there was no anger in her voice as Twilight struggled to breathe. Indeed, she sounded almost amused. “And when the pain has grown too much for my beloved sister, she will join me here. And she will beg for my forgiveness, and we shall embrace, and she will know hope one last time.”

Nightmare Moon’s smile was gentle and caring, even as spots danced before Twilight’s eyes. “And then I will kill her. This long, sad saga will end. And I shall finally be at peace.”

Twilight could hear a creaking in her chest. As the world faded into blackness, Nightmare Moon’s smile shone like starlight.

---

Twilight woke tangled in her sheets, gasping for air. Princess Celestia was already there for her, rushing to her side and setting a hoof upon her forehead. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

The Princess’s touch was gentle and warm. Twilight caught her breath. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, Princess,” she said. “I’m okay. It was—nothing. No. I’m fine.”

“If something is wrong, my student, I want to help you. But if you insist you’re okay...” She closed her eyes and sighed. “Then I suppose I must accept that, as well.” A moment of silence passed between them, and Twilight gazed up at the Princess’s face.

She caught herself staring and looked away, an instant before the Princess opened her eyes. Twilight blushed, then took a breath. “Princess Celestia,” she said, “would you tell me about Nightmare Moon? The first time, I mean, a thousand years ago. None of my books had anything besides foals’ stories. Since... since we’re fighting her again, I’d like to know.”

The Princess turned away. “My faithful student, there is a reason no histories remain of that time,” she said, and Twilight suppressed a shiver at her tone. For one brief moment, the Princess’s soft voice had rung with echoes of starshine and ice.

“But if any deserve to know, you do,” the Princess continued, her voice once again full of the warmth Twilight knew so well. “You are my dearest subject. I trust you, Twilight Sparkle. More than that, I would... it would be good to be able to confide in somepony.”

The Princess sat down, still facing away. “You know the story, of course. Ponies worked and played during the day, but slept through the night, and so Princess Luna became jealous. She held the moon in the sky, stopping our natural cycle of night and day. In order to finally end the night, I was forced to wield the Elements of Harmony against her. I imprisoned her within the moon, and took control of both the day and the night. From then on I ruled alone, until she was released.

“The old tales are, for the most part, lacking only in details. Is there anything in particular you would like to know?”

“Is...” Twilight hesitated. She didn’t want to press the Princess about her sister. “The Elements, then,” she said. “Why didn’t you keep them? Why’d you abandon them in that castle?”

“Because they were not mine to use anymore. Before, my sister and I had wielded them together. I had to take all six for myself, and even one such as I cannot use such power alone, not for long.” The Princess took a deep breath. “And more than that, I was no longer worthy of them.” Her voice held a tinge of anger. “Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, Loyalty, and Magic. Tell me,” she said with a mocking laugh, “tell me, which of those virtues did I demonstrate when I banished my sister?”

She sighed. “Let me tell you something, Twilight Sparkle, one of my hidden shames: I was not always as I am now. Before Luna’s imprisonment, I had not thought much of the ponies in my care. They were such fragile creatures, I thought, and while I had a duty to guide them, I cared little for their well-being.”

The Princess’s voice grew very quiet. “I placed my sister’s happiness above my subjects’, Twilight Sparkle. The stories make me sound like a hero, as though I stood against my sister’s madness before anypony was hurt. That’s not what happened. I didn’t want to fight against my sister. Instead I watched and waited as Equestria withered around me. I did not act when I should have.

“There were other ponies who tried to stop her. Many gave their lives in the attempt. The blood of those would-be heroes is on my hooves. And my sister had followers—as now, there were creatures who served her, and in the endless night they would go hunting. Their victims’ blood, as well, is mine to bear.

“Once my sister was gone, I learned to love my subjects. There was no one else there for me, and a thousand years of isolation would have driven me mad. I found worth in the lives of mortals, but only because I had no other option.”

The Princess finally turned to face Twilight again. “Twilight Sparkle, there are no histories of the Sisters’ War. Save for in my memories, those stories are gone.” She hung her head, brushing her horn against Twilight’s own. “Until now, of course, with what I have told you. I am sorry, my faithful student; I should not burden you so. You should... you should rest. Heal.”

---

Nightmare Moon was lying down, a short distance away on the shining blue plain. When she caught Twilight’s eye, she yawned ostentatiously. “Hello, Twilight Sparkle,” she said. “What lessons have you learned today?”

When Twilight refused to reply, Nightmare Moon rolled over, exposing her belly. “Oh, Twilight Sparkle, my sister’s dearest student, can’t you answer?”

At Twilight’s continued silence, Nightmare Moon laughed and gave a pleased little wriggle. “I heard, of course. I’m in your head, Twilight Sparkle, am I not? You can’t escape: I know everything you say and do and think. You have no secrets from me.” Nightmare Moon rolled back onto her hooves and stood, though she kept her distance.

“But you know, I think my beloved sister left out a few key details. Would you like me to enlighten you?”

Twilight rolled onto her back, to look away from Nightmare Moon and up at the sky. The stars shimmered above, unreachable and silent.

Nightmare Moon moved into view. She stood over Twilight, her mane brushing lightly against Twilight’s body. “Do you know what we are, my sister and I?” Nightmare Moon asked. She leaned in close, face to face, her slitted blue-green eyes boring into Twilight’s purple ones. “We are—were, rather, in my sister’s case—creatures of spirit. This is our natural home, in the spaces between the stars. Together we left this realm. Together we took on flesh, so that we might guide you mortals to wisdom. For your sake we gave up our connection to this plane. Celestia is still severed from her true home. Such devotion she shows to her subjects!

“Flesh is a mask, though—our nature is still spirit, in truth. In the mortal realm, we cannot truly die.”

Nightmare Moon’s smile stretched across her face. Her teeth glistened in the starlight. “If you killed Celestia, she would return here. One thousand years ago, that's what she did to me. Do you understand, Twilight Sparkle? That is my sister, the one you so adore. She murdered me, and bound my spirit in the very moon I had once guided. For one thousand years my soul was chained.”

With one armored hoof, Nightmare Moon traced little circles across Twilight’s chest. Twilight did her best not to react, not to shiver at that icy touch. “My sister and I are not the only beings of this realm. For one thousand years I wept, and my pleas for mercy echoed beyond my prison. Others, knowing nothing of our conflict, heard me, and they broke my chains and set me free.

“You know those others. They are creatures of the same glory as my sister and I, and you cut them down like wheat before the scythe. That is true death for me and mine, to be slain in spirit rather than in flesh.”

She pressed her hoof down harder. The edge of her frigid horseshoe cut into Twilight’s chest, and she barely resisted a gasp of pain. Nightmare Moon only smiled. “You come here,” she said, “impinging on our realm, carrying weapons made from the bodies of the dead, and you think yourselves heroic. You and yours have already lost, my lovely Twilight. All you do now is cause us new suffering, and prolong your own.”

Nightmare Moon lifted her hoof. “I don’t want to hurt you, Twilight Sparkle. I don’t want to hurt anypony.” She laughed. “You think me a monster, but why? I have killed nopony. Look upon the faces of those who sleep: I have granted them happiness.”

Twilight struggled to her hooves. “That’s not true,” she said, trying to maintain her composure. “The Princess told me. One th-thousand years ago—and now. Your monsters have hurt ponies. Killed them. And so did you, when they tried to stop you.”

Nightmare Moon inspected her hoof, her voice bland as she spoke. “Celestia lies, then. None of that was my doing. My servants, my followers, I won’t deny that they’ve killed. They can be... overzealous, and it is most regrettable. The fact remains: I, myself, have never taken a life.”

She coiled herself around Twilight, and there was no warmth in her body. “Can you say the same, Twilight Sparkle? Every ‘monster,’ every ‘nightmare’ you destroy—those are lives you’re ending. Not mortal lives, either. Even mortals’ lives have value, of course, and their murder would be unforgivable, but you are no run-of-the-mill murderer. Each time you kill, you extinguish one of the ageless spirits of the cosmos. Creatures born of the same power which birthed my sister and me.” Nightmare Moon licked her lips, her tongue surprisingly pink against the darkness around them, and her voice became low and intimate. “That is a sin even the greatest villains might hesitate to perform, but you and your friends fight on.” She rubbed herself against Twilight and cooed. “And my sister, of course, my dearest sister! How stained her hooves are, with my own blood!”

Twilight tried to escape from her caresses, but Nightmare Moon followed her. She pressed close, her cold, silken coat rubbing against Twilight’s, and she leaned down and spoke into Twilight’s ear, her breath whisper-gentle. “Ah, I’ll admit it, Twilight Sparkle. I’ve lied to you; such is the nature of night, that even its brightest lights leave shadows. I have killed, indeed, but I have never killed another.” She ran her hoof down the side of Twilight’s face. “Twilight Sparkle, the only blood which stains my hooves is mine own. Ask your dearest Princess about that.”

Twilight took another step back, but there was nothing left for her to stand on. She fell, and her mind was filled with Nightmare Moon’s low, mocking laughter.

---

When Twilight woke, there was a damp rag draped across her forehead, and Princess Celestia was by her side again. “Ah, my faithful student,” she said, “are you feeling any better? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“What happened on Bliss Day?” Twilight asked.

The Princess blinked. “Twilight Sparkle?” she said. “Are you feeling all right? Perhaps you need water, or food—Fluttershy has a meal prepared for you—”

“I’ll eat, if you want me to,” Twilight said, “but please, tell me. I want to know.”

The Princess looked at her sadly, then nodded. A bowl of salad and a glass of water floated over to Twilight, who took them. As Twilight began to eat, the Princess sat down and closed her eyes. Finally, her eyes still closed, she began to speak.

“My sister and I are not creatures of flesh, not by nature,” the Princess said. “This plane is not our home. You’ve seen our home, or at least some fragment of it.”

“I have?” For a moment Twilight panicked—Nightmare Moon was only a dream! And how could Princess Celestia know about those dreams?—but then she realized what the Princess was referring to. “Oh, wait, are you talking about the dreamscape?” The Princess nodded. “But it’s a terrible place! How could that be your home?”

“The dreamscape is, judging by your descriptions, a shadow of the deeper realms from which my sister and I came,” the Princess said. “That would be why it seems different to each of you: the worlds of spirit are not meant to be seen by mortal eyes, and so you shape them with your own preconceptions. You’re not in the true deeps; you see only a piece of the truth, and that blurred as though through smoked glass.

“Long ago, my sister and I took on mortal form, so that we might guide Equestria. We voluntarily separated ourselves from the realm of spirit.” The Princess’s eyes were still closed, but her voice shook just a tiny bit. “One millenium ago, I... forcibly expelled, let us say. I forcibly expelled my sister from this plane, so that I might bind her spirit and bring back the day. On Bliss Day, my sister preempted that tack. She returned to the world of spirit on her own, before I might bind her. She fled this world, so that she might call upon broader powers than she had here. And so that she might summon allies.”

The Princess’s voice was ragged now, but still she continued. “On Bliss Day, Princess Luna killed herself. I watched. I could not stop her.

“I cannot die in flesh, not truly; death here would only return me to my natural home. And if I were to leave here, I would be able to fight Nightmare Moon directly, as equals, without the interference of her minions. But Twilight Sparkle, my dearest student, I do not want to die. If I go back to the realm of spirit, I will not be able to return here, not for a long, long time. My... my attachments to this world dissuade me from such a course.”

The Princess stood, her eyes still closed, and walked over to Twilight’s cot. “And if I were to face Nightmare Moon on her own terms, I might very well lose. My own cowardice will not let me leave. Instead I live on, and send children to fight in my place.” The Princess leaned over Twilight, lying prone on the cot. “Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, that is the truth you seek. You fight because I fear to.” A teardrop fell onto Twilight’s face, then another, then yet more.

Twilight took a deep breath. Princess Celestia smelled like no normal, earthly pony: she smelled like fresh air, like sunshine on flowers, a heady scent that made Twilight feel ever-so-slightly dizzy. She tried to gather her thoughts. “It’s okay, Princess,” she said. “I can fight for you. I want to fight for you. Please. We can help you. I can.” Through her haze, Twilight lifted her head and kissed the Princess on the lips. She was warm, and soft, and tasted of salt.

The Princess recoiled and Twilight’s dizziness shattered like glass. Struck by the enormity of what she had done, Twilight tried to apologize, but she didn’t have the breath to speak. The Princess, wordless, fled from the room. Twilight tried to get out of the cot, tried to say something to make the Princess come back, but she tumbled to the floor instead, and sank into blackness.

---

Twilight crouched on the shimmering blue plain. Nightmare Moon stood above her.

“So, Twilight Sparkle,” she said, “have you been enjoying this lesson? Is your teacher to your liking?”

She laughed. Her mane tangled around Twilight and pulled her to her hooves. “Does my sister’s beauty overwhelm you?” Nightmare Moon asked. “Is that why you serve her with such fervor? Out of love?” Again she laughed, her voice ringing out across the stars.

“Of course, she does not love you back. You know that, I’m sure.” Nightmare Moon lowered her head and looked into Twilight’s eyes. Her mane held Twilight in place. “And know this, Twilight Sparkle: my sister is as the Sun itself. She is not beautiful, but beauty; not powerful, but power; not glorious, but glory; and if you approach her too closely you will burn. Like a moth before the flame, so are you drawn to her.”

Nightmare Moon gave another low chuckle, and then she leaned down and kissed Twilight on the forehead, just below her horn. Her lips were cold, as cold as the void between the stars, and her kiss burned. Twilight screamed, and Nightmare Moon covered Twilight’s mouth with her own. From that spot on her forehead, and from her lips, pain spread throughout Twilight’s body, sweeping away thought and emotion. Her throat was bloody raw and still she screamed, on and on into the endless starry sky.

---

Twilight Sparkle woke. She was no longer on the thin medical cot in the crèche lab. She was on her own bed, underneath her own covers. Sitting next to the bed, watching her, was Princess Celestia.

Even though she was lying down, Twilight’s knees wouldn’t stop shaking. “Princess,” she said, “I’m so sorry for ki—for what I did. It was inexcusable. I can’t—” She stopped. She wasn’t sure what else to say. The kiss had been wrong, it had been a filthy thing for her to do, she could never absolve herself of that sin—but she kept thinking of how the Princess’s lips had felt against hers, and how much she wanted to repeat that depravity—

Twilight blinked. Princess Celestia was smiling at her. A little stiffly, perhaps, a little distantly, maybe, but the Princess was smiling nonetheless. That was not the expected reaction. Twilight had expected—she deserved—punishment. Why would the Princess smile?

“Twilight Sparkle, my dear...” The Princess hesitated a bare breath, then began again. “My dear Twilight. Your repentance is... excessive. You are still young, my student, and I recognize that. I will not punish you for a moment’s mistake made in fleeting passion. This is simply a youthful crush on your part, of no great import. It is... good, that we can clear the air between us. You need not worry so.”

Twilight went rigid. Two lines echoed through her mind.

“I will not punish you for a moment’s mistake.”

That was... good, wasn’t it? The Princess forgave her? But no, there was another part.

“This is simply a youthful crush on your part.”

“No,” Twilight whispered. “No, Princess, please don’t say that. It’s not just a crush, Princess, I love you.” Twilight’s voice was rising to a broken shriek. “I’ve loved you ever since I first saw you, when you raised the sun when I was just a filly. Princess, please, do anything to me, just don’t say I don’t love you!”

The Princess’s face was a frozen rictus. “Twilight Sparkle, that was not love—infatuation, perhaps, but you are young. You are only a child, Twilight Sparkle: you do not, cannot love me.”

Twilight cried out and lunged at the Princess. She pushed the Princess over—her crown clanked to the floor—and covered the Princess’s mouth with her own. Between hot, desperate kisses, Twilight murmured, “Princess, no, please, I do love you, I’ll always love you.”

The Princess’s body was rigid beneath her. She murmured something Twilight couldn’t understand, and she tried to push Twilight away, but there was no strength in those lovely, slender limbs. Slowly, ever so slowly, the Princess started to relax. Twilight continued her fierce, tear-stained kisses, and the Princess started to move against her, to respond with something of the same desperation.

---

Twilight Sparkle woke slowly, her mind hazy, groggily trying to hold onto her dream. Such a dream was shameful—sinful, almost blasphemous—but it was a welcome escape from Nightmare Moon’s intrusions.

She blushed. While merely having such a dream was bad, the true disgrace was that she had enjoyed it. It isn’t my fault that I dreamed about the Princess, though, she told herself. It’s because of... stress. Even so, she knew it was inexcusable, yet another addition to the long, long list of her failings.

Twilight yawned and stretched beneath the covers. She shivered as the chill breeze from outside swept through the room.

She pushed the covers off of her head and realized several things. Firstly, she was in her own bed. The morning breeze was not entering through a window, but through the open door to the balcony.

Secondly, last night had not been a dream. It had been wonderfully, terribly real. A whimper escaped her mouth, of mixed horror and ecstasy.

Thirdly, Princess Celestia was nowhere to be seen. Twilight’s breath became fast, shallow, panicky. No, she thought inarticulately. It’s not—it can’t—I shouldn’t—

“Twilight?” came a soft voice from the balcony. “Are you awake?”

Twilight’s fluttering heart skipped a beat, as her panicked thoughts dissolved into simple relief. Princess. She shifted on the bed. “Yes, Princess Celestia, I’m awake,” she said.

The Princess stepped delicately through the doorway. She wasn’t wearing her usual armor, and even unadorned and tired she looked more beautiful than anything Twilight could imagine. She gave a weak smile, the shadows lifting from her lined face. “I’m sorry, I meant to be here for you when you woke up. I went outside to look at the sky. To stargaze. I only meant to be a moment.”

Twilight shifted again. The divot on the bed, where the Princess’s weight had rested, was entirely cold. Still, she did not counter the Princess’s statement.

The Princess took a deep breath. “Twilight Sparkle—no. Twilight. Just ‘Twilight.’” She paused. “Twilight, you are my student.”

Twilight’s heart was still racing. She knew what the Princess was going to say: that it had been wrong, that it had been a mistake, that they should both forget it had ever happened. She knew she would never be able to forget it. But she had never gone so far as to even hope for the Princess’s love—that she might have one night of bliss was more than she could have dreamed of. She would do as the Princess wished. She would bear this memory silently.

The Princess took another deep breath. “Twilight, no matter what has happened, or what will happen, rest assured that you will always be my faithful student. I care for you very deeply, Twilight Sparkle. I do not want to see you hurt, least of all by me. I—last night was a moment of weakness on my part. For that, I can only apologize.”

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Twilight mumbled into her pillow. “It was my fault.”

The Princess exhaled. “You are young, Twilight Sparkle. I mean no insult by that; it is a simple statement of fact. You are young, and I am old, and it is my responsibility to resist my baser impulses. I should not have given in to my weakness.”

“You’re not weak,” Twilight said, still mumbling. “You’re strong, and graceful, and beautiful, and I love you.”

The Princess closed her eyes. “And yet I have wronged you.”

Twilight got out of bed and crept up toward the Princess. Very slowly, very delicately, she moved closer. The Princess did not react.

Twilight kissed her on the lips. Soft, delicate. Gentle. The Princess did not pull away, but nor did she reciprocate. Finally, Twilight pulled back.

“Do you regret it?” Twilight asked. Her voice was very small. “I don’t, Princess. Last night was the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Princess. If—if there’s any way I can help you. If you need somepony to talk to. Please, Princess, let me help. Don’t shut me away from you. Don’t—don’t keep all your problems bottled up. I want to help you, Princess, however I can.”

And, with a start, Twilight realized that she had been overlooking something for the past five months. “Princess,” she said, “where have you been sleeping?”

The Princess smiled wanly. “I haven’t, my student. I don’t need to sleep, and it hardly seems wise given our current circumstances. If I ever do need to rest for a moment, then the cots at the ANIMa lab are available to me.”

“Even if you don’t need to sleep, you should at least have someplace to lie down for the night,” Twilight said. “And, since we know you can fit... maybe you could stay here at the Library? With me?”

The Princess frowned. “I do not think that would be wise,” she said.

“Would it really be that bad,” Twilight asked, “to be a teensy bit unwise, just this once?” The Princess didn’t answer, so Twilight pressed on. “We—we wouldn’t even have to do anything. We could just share the bed, you know, just be next to each other. You’ve done so much. For me, for us, for everypony in Equestria. You need to rest sometimes, and I—I could be there for you.”

Twilight moved closer, not kissing, just leaning close to the Princess’s warm bulk.

“Thank you, Twilight,” the Princess said. She nuzzled against Twilight. Her lips brushed against Twilight’s forehead. Twilight looked up, and the Princess kissed her on the lips: gentle, and warm, and loving.

With a screech, the sirens turned on. Nightmare attack.

---

Twilight stood upon the grim gray plain of the moon. She glared at her opponent, the rotting gray alicorn.

She lowered her head. Her horn was a perfect lance of golden flame, lighting up the moon’s surface like a second sun. She pointed her horn at the nightmare’s heart.

She charged, and the nightmare met her charge with its own.

Her horn slid smoothly into her enemy’s bony chest. Twilight gritted her teeth.

Magic raced through her ANIMa. Twilight whipped her head up, tearing her horn from her enemy’s body. As Twilight watched, her foe was consumed by golden flames, until Twilight at last stood alone.

She took a deep breath. “We’re done, Fluttershy,” she said.

Fluttershy’s voice buzzed through the communication spell. “Okay, good, Twilight. That’s good.”

“Yes, Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “It’s very good.” She took another breath and surveyed the moon’s empty surface. “I’ve won, Fluttershy. Me and my ANIMa: Glory of the Dawn.”

Comments

[108Echoes]

Chapter Five: Also, Intimacy Five.

My thanks to Varanus for pre-reading this. If you haven't read Composure, you should probably go do that, because it's great.

At this point I'm going to pause, so I can go back to the beginning and make revisions. Tightening up characterization, fixing my rather screwy foreshadowing, etc. Then I'll probably end up tweaking the backstory here to be more in line with canon, then gonna go ahead and re-submit to EqD. After that it's on to chapter six, which will probably be an Applejack chapter. There's no such thing as Intimacy 6.

[sklafjdslkj]

My level of "wat?" at Twilestia is not calculable. Also, enjoyably done though. I fear that you may end up throwing darts and just shipping at some point though... I mean, you've already done two hastily, and it wouldn't be hard to degenerate into "oh, everypony needs love to level up!" Still a fun read though.

[108Echoes]

473926
Heh. Taking another spin on the roulette wheel of romance. I think I did a little better with the foreshadowing here, though—even way back in chapter 1, you've got lines like
>“My teacher, Princess Celestia.” Twilight’s voice caught in her throat. “My Princess stands beside me. She longs to free her sister from the nightmares. I fight for her sake. For Princess Celestia.”
And so forth. I do have plans! There's just, you know, a gap between planning and execution.

[Varanus]

I like what you've done here. Good luck with the tidy-up, I'll keep an eye out on EqD!

[Cyclone12]

While I agree with others that Appledash kind of came out of nowhere I thought there were definitely some indicators that Twilestia might be in the cards(was uncertain until this chapter if you were going to go mother-surrogate daughter route though).
Bit concerning that Twilight hasn't let Celestia or anyone else know about how NMM is in her head. Also, NMM saying she hasn't killed anyone is like saying "I didn't kill anyone, the gun did!" Both now and previously she has blood on her hands whether she is willing to acknowledge it or not.

[Bliss Authority]

And caught up. I do have to wonder where you're going to go from Chapter Five.

Also, Rainbow, stop that. Stop it now. Stop being the chick who does it for the upgrades. I'm warning you, this will end in tears and ANIMa explosions. That sort of behavior backfires so often in my games and players keep doing it...

[Cold in Gardez]

Holy crap, it's finally on EqD.

Have to crack this one back open. Last time I saw it on /fic/, it only had two chapters, but lots of potential.

[Lord_Of_Lagaard]

If this reaches a victory ending, you should have someone deliver a lecture to Nightmare Moon for once. In so many fics I've read, she spends the entire time going on and on to her opponents about how wronged she was and how awful Celestia is. I wish someone would finally remind her that the rest of the world doesn't exist to make her happy and she doesn't have any right to do this to the rest of Equestria over her sibling rivalry.

Also, are you planning on having anyone reach 108 bliss before the story ends?

Great story so far. I will be reading and following.

[Alondro]

485370 Exactly. Adolf Hitler didn't actually kill a single person in WWII. Do we absolve him of the millions of atrocities committed by his followers?

Twilight needs a few pointers from our world! Then NNM would be finished.

Anyway, these ancient spirits (of evil, transform this decayed form to... ack, stop that brain!) are douches. No matter what NMM says, if they're helping her, they deserve to get killed by mortals.

See, if I were one of the spirits, I'd be all like, "Beeyatch, STFU! I ain't gonna help you cuz ain't nuthin' in it fer me! Yo screwed yoself, ho! Deal with it!"

Cuz I'm a bawss.

[Dconstructed Reconstruct]

Congrats on this story, and congrats on getting on EqD. This sure has come some ways since I last saw it.

[Kobalt]

A great chapter, and all around, a great story.
Hmm... I wonder though; could Nightmare Moon possibly be jealous of Celestia having Twilight?

[thenerfherder1000]

Okay, you have got to be fucking dead or something! Finish this damn thing already!!! it has been literally 2 years since you started this thing. FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!!!! I don't care if you have to pull some inspiration out of your ass. Reach, pull, and pinch! That's all you have to do! It's just words on a screen mother fucker! Words on a fucking screen! (Ps. Don't take anything I say literally, I am a gigantic asshole!)

[TheLastBrunnenG]

I realize you've been gone for 23+ weeks so the chances are you'll never see this. For the record, Even though it took me forever to get around to reading it, Friendship is Giant Robots became one of me favorite Twilestia stories, thanks in no small part to the unique premise and its ties to Bliss Stage. It's a wonderful story and very readable throughout. You made it to EqD, you have writers like Varanus, Cold in Gardez, Vimbert, and Ariamaki drooling over the story, and here we sit, still waiting patiently. Come back. Just a whisper, or a hint, something. We miss you.

[DeadpoolMLP]

461120 I thought It would be A Gurren Lagenn crossover