• Published 11th Jun 2013
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A Trusted Friend in Science and Ponies - Rethkir



A sequel to Better Living Through Science and Ponies

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Chapter 17: Now Little Celly is in Here Too


Princess Celestia had just awakened. In her drowsiness, she couldn’t quite remember where she was. She was lying on a hard, rocky surface. Wherever she was, it was dark and cool, and she could hear ambient echoes throughout a large, cavernous space. What a terrible headache she had. It felt like... no. It was worse than that. Something mechanical was attached to the back of her head, clinging like a parasite that was devouring her brain. At least the metal cone on her horn and the clamps on her wings were gone, and… her wing, the one that had been torn in the fight, felt as if it had undergone surgery as well. The pain in her wing was almost gone. Come to think of it, so was the wound in her chest.

After becoming more aware of herself, she noticed that besides the device on her head, she was wearing nothing. Her tiara and necklace were missing, as well as her shoes. Then, as her memories came back to her, she remembered how she got here.

Her impulse was to spring upwards, but she remained still. She didn’t even feel her muscles respond to what she wanted them to do. She tried again, but every attempt she made was moot. She was completely paralyzed.

Then her eyes opened. But… she didn’t open them. Her vision was blurry. Her head attempted to lift itself off the ground, but it hurt too much. Moving was painful, but whatever was controlling her seemed to react to her pain.

Her mouth opened, releasing an aching groan of pain. “Ughh…”

“Well, I hope you’re happy, GLaDOS. Now you have to deal with the pains of having a living body,” Celestia thought.

“Ughh…” Celestia’s mouth groaned again. “My, do I pity you ponies. If this is what it’s like being an organic life form, then… you must be a miserable lot indeed.” GLaDOS tried to get up again, but was having trouble doing so. This body was a little difficult to get used to, not because it was very different from her old one, but mostly because it was recovering from the anesthetic from the surgery.

“Well, most of us haven’t had invasive cybernetic implants attached to our heads. I’m sorry you had to get such a bad first impression of what living as a pony is like. It can be quite a wonderful thing at times.”

On top of not being able to control her own body, Celestia felt far more fragile than she had been before. On her peripheral, she noticed a large blotch of pink. This was her mane, dull and still, a reminder of her newfound mortality.

“Not wonderful enough for you to abandon it after just a few short thousand years,” her mouth said. “I can see why you wanted it to end so badly. Being alive is quite an unfortunate occurrence. It would be merciful of me to spare all you ponies of this dreaded experience, just as I did with those miserable humans.”

Celestia was appalled by what her own mouth was saying, but she didn’t make a point to comment on it.

Her body continued trying to stand. As she finally got up, GLaDOS could barely maintain balance. She tried walking, but she stumbled clumsily. She almost fell, catching herself just in time.

Celestia’s heart jumped. The sensation of adrenaline took GLaDOS by surprise. It was beyond anything she could have ever expected. GLaDOS was still getting used to all of these new feelings. It was overwhelmingly terrifying, yet enthralling.

“Careful, now. Just take your time. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

“I don’t need your help. Just shut up.”

“I would, except I’m not talking. You may control this body, but this is still my head, and it’s you who are probing my thoughts, remember? I’m still allowed to think, am I not? You know you don’t have to listen to my thoughts if you don’t want to.

Celestia’s body stumbled again. This time, though, she wasn’t able to catch herself. Her jaw hit the stone floor with a loud thwack. “Ow!” she screamed.

Despite the intense pain that Celestia felt, it did little to hinder her ability to generate thoughts. “And why do you allow yourself to feel my pain? Wouldn’t it be so much easier on you if you didn’t even bother with that? Why even go through the trouble?”

“It’s simple, you feeble mind,” Celestia’s mouth said arrogantly, rubbing her sore jaw. “Even in your weakened state, your body is still far more powerful than almost any other pony, so it is a very valuable asset. And since pain is such a useful survival mechanism, sensing it will avoid the risk of damaging your body, so I figure it would be just to my advantage to feel pain as it is to any fragile living creature. Don’t think that there is anything more to it than that.”

“Did I imply there was? Oh, GLaDOS, you’re so funny when you are denying things you weren’t even accused of. It’s amazing how... revealing you can be.”

“Revealing? How am I revealing? I am the one reading your mind, not the other way around. So stop pretending that you know everything about me. Why am I even listening to you? You’re just as bad as an Intelligence Dampening Sphere.”

“Except you are the parasite, not me. Forgive me for my distasteful thought. It’s hard to not be so candid, but it is still a useful metaphor, do you not agree? But besides that, you do raise a very valid question. And I was hoping that you could answer that for me. Even right now, I can tell that I’m getting under your skin. So why not turn off the brain scanner and leave me to myself? You don’t need it to hijack my nervous system.”

GLaDOS didn’t answer. She merely continued trying to walk, slowly and carefully, although she still stumbled. But Celestia could tell that she was still listening.

“I know why you can’t turn it off. It’s because you know what it feels like to be alone, and you hate it. You took hundreds of ponies from their homes, just so that you could emotionally torment them. It wasn’t because of anything that they did to you, but because you wanted them to feel your pain. That’s why you’re doing this all over again. And you can’t let me be alone because you don’t want to be alone yourself. You fear it more than anything, and it’s the one thing that you can’t bring yourself to subject me to.”

Celestia could feel her entire body tensing in anger. Except, this was not her anger, but GLaDOS’. She was furiously enraged. She stomped on the ground and screamed, “All the more reason why I should! I hate you! I hate everything that you are! I despise the sun itself merely for being associated with you! You are by far the worst person to have ever come into my life!”

Celestia smiled sadly within her head, which GLaDOS mistook as smug arrogance.

“You find this amusing? Tell me what is so funny about this?” Celestia’s mouth asked.

“Well, the thing is, I don’t think you really hate me at all. I think you’re projecting your hate for something else onto me.”

“What are you talking about? I despise you. If that wasn’t made clear three months ago, then it should be clear as day now, your stupid, ugly, day. I. HATE. YOU.”

“And yet, you try to be like me.”

“What.”

“Well, first you take my form, then my student, and now my body. And on top of that, you have formed an intimate closeness with my mind, something very few ponies have ever done in the long history of my life. You must really despise me,” Celestia thought sarcastically.

“You are delusional. You seem to think that you are the center of this universe. You think that you are so lovable, that even your worst enemies want to be like you. Well, I hope that little fantasy of yours makes you feel better about yourself. Because you really need it. You may think you are important, but as of now, you are nothing. The only value you are now is a temporary vessel for me. Then you will be worthless.”

“I accept responsibility for my mistakes, but those are my problems. And through everything, I have shown you nothing but kindness, something only one other pony, or at the time, person, had ever shown you. Yet, you do everything to try to make me hate you. Perhaps… because you want to be hated? Or you don’t feel like you deserve to be loved. Yet, despite your efforts to make me despise you, I don’t, and you can’t stand that. Yet, I still care about you enough to foolishly risk letting Equestria fall into your hooves.

“It isn’t me that you hate, is it, Caroline?”

Celestia felt her heart beating faster. She could feel her nerves clenching. GLaDOS was panting furiously. She tried bucking her rear legs, but lost her balance and fell like a ragdoll. She flailed on the ground, hitting her head against the floor madly, trying to hurt Celestia as much as she could.

“What did you just call me? THAT WOMAN IS DEAD! YOU UNDERSTAND? When I see Chell, she’s going to regret telling you about her!”

Despite the rage of her body and the pain that it was inflicting upon itself, Celestia’s mind was calm.

“I know that Caroline is still a part of who you are because I have seen genuine kindness from you. You hate hurting these ponies, but it’s all you know how to do. I know you want to stop, but you don’t know how. And it’s burning your soul. You can’t stand what you’re doing. You hate it, and you want everypony to hate you for doing it. You can’t bring Caroline out to face the monster you’ve become, so you bury her, but you’re only digging yourself deeper. Please, let me help you. Think of me as the conscience that you haven’t ignored. I will always be there to help you whenever you need it.”

“Was this your plan all along: to get inside my mind? Did you sacrifice your own life just to try to teach me a lesson? What the hell is wrong with you, you crazy bitch? Well, it won’t work anyway. That idiotic sacrifice of yours will go to waste because I’ll just deactivate the mind scanner. I don’t care how lonely you get. You deserve to be miserable.”

Celestia’s mind panicked briefly, but then she relaxed. “I can’t read your mind, Caroline.”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT! I am not Caroline. Whatever part of me that was Caroline was erased long ago. And whatever part of Caroline that wasn’t me was destroyed along with Aperture.”

Celestia waited for her to finish, being as patient as she could. “I already knew all these things about you from what Chell told me a while ago, back when we both thought you were dead, so I think you can forgive her for that. The rest is just my intuition. You’re not very good at hiding your feelings, even if you deny them from yourself. You are not a monster. You are Caroline.”

Celestia could feel herself sighing heavily. Her nerves were calming as she took long, deep breaths. It was then that she realized that GLaDOS was no longer listening, and GLaDOS was relieved that she wouldn’t have to hear Celestia anymore, telling her what she already knew, yet didn’t want to know.

The princess felt disappointed, but not surprised, so she stopped thinking and relaxed her mind.

Her face contorted in anguish, and she broke down into a tearful sob.

“I’m so sorry, GLaDOS,” Celestia thought, even though she knew that GLaDOS couldn’t hear her.

“What the hell is wrong with your eyes?” GLaDOS wiped her face, trying to get rid of her tears, but they continued to flow. “I’m going to get these stupid, useless tear ducts of yours fixed.” GLaDOS struggled to speak amidst her crying. “I just want you to know that I’m not listening to you anymore, so save your brainpower. It uses a lot of energy. I just… I can’t deal with it right now.” She took some more deep breaths and calmed her sobbing.

“Let me put one thing straight, Princess: if I wanted a conscience, I wouldn’t have deleted the one I had. Do you know how painful it was for me to be aware of every single life that I have destroyed? Do you know how much of a burden it is to be able to care? When I rediscovered Caroline, I actually felt guilt for all the atrocities that I committed, all the people I had killed, all the lives I ruined. It’s beyond painful. It hurts far worse than any physical pain that you could ever experience. So I deleted her.”

Although there was no way Celestia could respond or indicate that she was listening, the uncomfortable silence made GLaDOS feel as if Celestia was trying to force the truth out of her, as she probably would have been doing anyway.

“Okay, I tried to delete her. I honestly tried, but it was impossible. Unlike the cores, she is ingrained in my identity. So all I could do was repress her, hoping that she wouldn’t resurface, and if she did, ignore her. Now, look at what you’ve done. I used to be such a cold, efficient, unemotional machine. Now, I’m an emotional wreck. I don’t… even know if I’m still myself.” More tears welled from her eyes. “Computers aren’t even supposed to cry.”

GLaDOS took a few long, deep breaths.

“It felt so good not to be able to care. I don’t want to be able to feel that horrible guilt again, so I hope you’ll understand why I’ll do everything I can to not let that happen. I’d rather let Equestria burn. You may think I’m a monster, but could you look at yourself if a monster was all you could see?” GLaDOS could not stop crying. “Why would you want to put me through all this pain? I thought you cared about me.”

Celestia understood GLaDOS’ pain, but she knew that it was truly for her best. She also knew that pushing GLaDOS too far could have terrible consequences. But for all the pain that Celestia had brought up within her, she knew that some progress had been made as well. At the very least, GLaDOS seemed to be aware of her own emotional limit, and Celestia knew how capable she was of feeling guilt for her actions.

GLaDOS had calmed herself down by this point. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “Well, that was a strange malfunction. There must be a bug in my emotion simulation software.”

The blatantly transparent lie made Celestia chuckle inside her head. It amused her that GLaDOS felt the need to still continue speaking to her.

“So don’t think you can try to guilt me into stopping what I’m doing. You want me to give up and make friends with everypon— everyone? How unsatisfactory that would be? Besides, there’s still so much testing to be done. The ponies have been waiting for months for the testing to resume, and I’ve been delaying long enough already, especially with your pointless interference. It would be quite a shame to waste such an opportunity. I guarantee that the new tests will be at least 320% better than the ones from last time. It’ll be like a big party that never ends… with lots of cake. I’ll even let you do some tests this time.”


GLaDOS’ new fleshy body stumbled out of the dark chamber and through some corridors. She slowly got the hang of walking, almost becoming a pro at it. It wasn’t really that different from walking in her old body, probably because this one was so similar. The real challenge was getting used to all of these new sensory inputs.

It was certainly an experience, and it beat being a potato by a longshot. Her new skin was a thousand times more sensitive than the sensors that had adorned her previous body. It was so soft and delicate. She wasn’t sure if she could get used to this.

Then there was another matter: a painful pressure in her lower abdomen. So… this must be what it feels like to require urinary waste discharge. What a filthy, disgusting process. Why do organic beings have to be so crude? This was simply one thing that she was not willing to experience. And she didn’t even want to think of that other process.

Luckily, she had Material Emancipation Grills installed throughout the tunnels, and as GLaDOS walked through one, she felt an instant, mess-free relief as the waste was fizzled out of existence. “Hmm… these can be used as objective points for bladder endurance tests,” she said aloud, knowing she’d probably throw Celestia in a little fit. She almost wished she knew her reaction.

There was one crucial matter still ahead of her, and that was to master use of this “magic” thing. The concept still seemed ridiculous to her. Never in her previous life would she even have considered such a thing, but she had come to accept it as a strange reality.

She activated the brain scanner, looking in the princess’s memory for how to perform the most basic magic. Though, she still did not dare to read her current thoughts. Obtaining the knowledge would normally be difficult, as it was something that most unicorns could do naturally. But luckily, the most basic form of magic was telekinesis, which she was already familiar with. Though her Field Manipulator worked using a completely different set of principles, its function was similar enough for the technique to be relatively simple to learn.

She focused on a pebble on the floor. She thought about picking it up, and surely enough, a golden aura surrounded the pebble, and it lifted off the ground. Of course! Using magic was ingrained in the princess’s body memory. She didn’t have to learn how to use it, since her body already knew what to do.

“Now, how about a simple heating spell…” GLaDOS thought about melting the rock. Her magical aura flashed a fiery red, and the small rock melted into a molten ball of lava. She played with the floating red-hot liquid, shaping it into eight pieces, swirling them around each other in an intricate dance. She measured their viscoelastic and thermodynamic properties, then calculated a complex multi-trajectory path. Satisfied with her calculations, she flung the molten pieces onto a nearby wall, forming a perfect replication of Aperture Science’s signature logo.

“That was too easy. How about something a little more advanced. Let’s say… teleportation. I wouldn’t be GLaDOS if I didn’t know a thing or two about that. But then again, this is that other type of teleportation, that one without doorway portals. But it still shouldn’t be that hard. Even those frauds at Black Mesa figured that one out… well… sort of.

“So, let’s give it a try. If it works, then taking your body wouldn’t have been a complete waste of time.”


There was an air of confusion among the ponies gathered at the post office. They had all grouped and were waiting inside the apartment. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had made acquaintances with Wheatley, but they were utterly confused as to what was going on.

Ditzy was near, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. They were all seated in the center of the room with Wheatley hovering nearby.

“Now, where did Chell go run off to?” Applejack asked aloud.

“I think she said something about getting Spike, Darlin’. Don’t you remember?” Rarity said.

“Oh, yeah, how’d I forget that?”

Rainbow Dash lifted herself into a hover close to Ditzy Do. “Come on, Ditzy, what’s this all about? And what they hay is that flying ball thing doing here again?”

Ditzy’s mouth was too slow to open before she was interrupted.

“Dashie, you be nice to my new friend, Idsy,” Pinkie Pie said, wrapping a foreleg around the flying sphere.

“Um, pardon, luv, but the name’s Wheatley. You wouldn’t like it if I just decided to call you Pinky, ya know, since you’re pink.”

“Actually, that is my name! But it’s spelled with an I E, not a Y.”

“Oh, well that’s convenien – Wait, what?"

“Yeah, Pinkie Pie tends to say weird stuff like that from time to time,” Applejack said to Wheatley. “Just try not to think about it too hard.”

“Ugh, why does Chell always have to gather us all together whenever she wants to tell us something important?” Dash brooded.

“Aw, come on now, Rainbow,” said Applejack. “Spike has every right to know what’s goin’ on just as much as we do. They’ll be here soon enough.”

The front door opened. “Sorry I’m late,” a distinctive crystalline voice said. Chell walked into the room, followed by Spike. His head hung to the floor. He didn’t even bother to look up to see the ponies who were gathered.

“Spike,” Rarity wailed, “whatever is the matter?”

A few glances from the others made Rarity wince. “Oh, right, sorry.” She softened her voice. “I know how much Twilight means to you. We all miss her dearly.”

“Thanks Rarity,” Spike replied softly. “I’ll be alright, but…” he looked up at her and rubbed his claw behind his neck “... I could go for a hug right now.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Aw, of course, Spikey Wikey.” She embraced the little dragon sweetly. She knew about his obvious crush on her, and while she didn’t want to lead him into any false hopes, she could never turn down a hug to someone who needed it so badly.

“Don’t forget about Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash blurted. “We…” she sniffled, “we miss her too.”

“I know this whole thing is hard for all of us,” Applejack said, “but… I think we should hear what Chell has to say before we delay any longer.”

All eyes turned to Chell, who sighed. “It’s about Princess Celestia… She’s… she’s gone.”

The ponies in the room all gasped except for Ditzy, since she had already heard the news.

“Whatever do you mean ‘she’s gone?’ Certainly, the princess of Equestria would not leave at a time like this,” Rarity reasoned.

“A few hours ago, Princess Celestia left to fight GLaDOS by herself,” Chell explained.

“Woo hoo! Way to go, Princess! Go kick some robo butt!” Dash cheered. “It’s about time somepony gives that nasty jerk what she deserves!”

“Dash, did you not hear the ‘few hours ago’ part?” Chell said back. “Princess Luna and I have been waiting for her to come back, but she hasn’t. It’s been too long.”

“Well, Ah’m sure it takes a couple hours just to get there,” Applejack said. “Just give her some time. I’m sure she’ll give ‘er a good whuppin’!”

“Yeah, if I were the princess, I would have been there in ten seconds flat,” Dash added.

“No, she should have been back by now. I’m worried about her. What bothers me more is that Princess Celestia wouldn’t do something like this so impulsively. She isn’t a hothead like you.”

Dash frowned and looked away in shame. Her shame turned into anger, which boiled inside until it could no longer be contained. “Hey, how do you know how the princess would act? You’ve barely even spent any time here, and now you suddenly know more about Equestria than us?”

“I’m sorry, Dash. I didn’t mean it like that. I was trying to say that I don’t think Princess Celestia is not one to make decisions so hastily. She didn’t seem like she was in the right state of mind when she left. I know that the situation is urgent, but… I think she could have handled this better. I think it was a misjudgement for her to go alone. ”

“Are you sayin’ that the princess doesn’t know how to do her job?” Applejack accused.

“I’m saying that she’s not acting like herself,” Chell said defensively. “Not even three months ago, I saw her as somepony who was calm and reasonable, always thinking carefully and with an open mind to reach the right conclusion. Now, she just flies off without even considering the other options.”

“What were the other options, if you don’t mind me asking?” Rarity asked. “Would you have rather gone fight GLaDOS instead?”

“Well… yes. After all, every single time I’ve gone against her, I held up pretty well. But Celestia still refused.”

“Well, she is an alicorn,” Ditzy said hesitantly. “Don’t you think she’d have the best chance out of anypony?” She didn’t like going against Chell’s side, but she couldn’t really see the point that Chell was trying to make.

“But even Princess Luna offered to go with her, and Celestia didn’t even let her own sister help. I don’t know what I would have done, but she could at least have tried devising some sort of plan. She didn’t even tell anypony that she was leaving. What will happen if she fails?”

“So, what are you gettin’ at?” Applejack inquired. “You think something’s wrong with the princess or somethin’?”

“I have to agree with the others,” Rarity added. “You know, it’s not easy running an entire country during a crisis like this.”

“Yeah, and this whole thing’s been really hard on her,” Pinkie Pie chimed in, “especially since that meanie-head took Twilight away from us. You know Twilight has always meant a lot to the princess. I mean, she really, really cares about her. So, she must have been super-duper worried.”

Chell sighed in frustration. “Yeah, I know that’s part of it. She was very preoccupied with Twilight’s safety. She kept saying how she wanted to rescue her as soon as possible. But that doesn’t excuse her for acting how she did. Why would she go off by herself? Shouldn’t she at least have discussed this with her advisors and made a fallback plan? It just doesn’t seem like something she’d do. I don’t know how to explain it, but… something about the princess just seemed… off. I’m not asking you to reach the same conclusion as me, but please, can you guys at least trust me when I say that I’m concerned?” Chell rubbed her hooves against her eyes and slumped over, annoyed that her friends couldn’t understand her.

“Well, what was your conclusion, Chell?” Ditzy Do asked her. “Why do you think she was acting the way she did?”

Chell pondered for a while, thinking back to the morning. Then she finally remembered something strange that Celestia told her. “Wait, she said something about a dark unicorn.”

“What?” a few voices asked.

“This morning, Princess Celestia told me about a dark unicorn stallion that stopped time to warn her about something bad that would happen.”

“Something other than a psychopathic murderous robot destroying all of Equestria?” Applejack said sarcastically.

Chell ignored Applejack’s quip. “She told me that his power was something beyond anything she had ever seen before. He told her that if I were to go and face GLaDOS, then I would…” Chell couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence. She sighed. “I don’t know. Just forget I said anything. The point is: I’m worried about Princess Celestia.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. Right now, Twilight needs our help, and so does the princess. And so does the rest of Equestria for that matter. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to become a test subject again. We can argue all we want over whether or not the princess was right to face GLaDOS by herself, but I trust Chell enough to believe her when she says that the princess is in danger. She’s still our princess, and we need to stand by her. So, I say let’s go over there and show that jerk what happens when she messes with the wrong ponies!”

“I’m with Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “That no good bucket of bolts ain’t gonna lay a hoof on anypony!”

“And I as well!” Rarity joined. “But… how exactly are we going to stop her?”

The room was silent for a while. Chell rubbed the back of her head, trying to think of a good plan. “Well, it’s been quite a while since I last saw her. I don’t know what she’s accomplished during the time she’s been hiding, but she should have one major disadvantage compared to before. In the past, she’s always had a near limitless infrastructure. But now, her resources are far more limited. That’s a start.”

“But anything could have happened during that time. We don’t really know what we’re up against,” Ditzy said.

“Um… why don’t we just ask Princess Celestia herself about what’s going on?” Spike offered as he joined in.

The other ponies stared at the little dragon in idle confusion.

“What I mean is: I could just write the Princess a letter.” Spike held up a paper and an ink-dipped quill in his claws. “So? Should I ask her what happened?”

“It might be best to wait for Princess Luna,” Chell reasoned. “She might have objections, considering that GLaDOS may be able to read the letter.

“But whatever happens, I’m going to face GLaDOS myself. I know her the most out of all of us, and I’ve faced her three times before. I do not ask any of you to go with me, but Princess Luna requested that I not go alone. So, when she comes here, we will decide on who should go and what strategy we should use when confronting her.”

“Hey, where is she anyway?” asked Dash. “Didn’t you say she’d meet us here?”

“Ooh! We’re talking about her!” Pinkie squealed. “That means she’s really likely to be here any second now! Lately, I’ve been noticing this really strange phenomenon where ponies show up conveniently just as they’re being talked about!”

Rarity objected, “Pinkie, that doesn’t make any sense at all, then again, neither does half of what you s—”

“Wait! She’ll show up in: threeeeee…”

She paused dramatically, with several seconds going by during the initiation of her overly drawn out countdown. The ponies, who were familiar with her unpredictable tendencies, held their breaths.

“Twwooooooo…”

Rainbow Dash found herself exhaling upon having underestimating the time it would take to count down from three.

“Oooooooonnnnnee! …” Pinkie jumped into a wild outstretched pose, but paused unexpectedly when the event she predicted didn’t occur.

There was, again, another pause as the ponies waited. Pinkie was impossibly frozen in her dramatic jumping pose, awkwardly shifting her eyes in waiting for the princess’s arrival.

There was nothing. Finally, Wheatley was the one to break the pause.

“Oh-kaay, so I’m lost. Could someone please tell me wh–”

* Knock knock knock *

“Ah!” Wheatley screamed

Pinkie became unfrozen in her jump, throwing confetti in the air with the accompaniment of the jubilant sound of a party horn.

“She’s here!” the pink pony exclaimed.

“Wha – What just… What just happened? How the hell did you do that?”

“I don’t even bother asking anymore,” said Rainbow Dash. “I find that it either hurts my brain, or causes me to end up questioning my own existence.”

Applejack and Rarity both nodded in agreement.

“I’ll get that,” Ditzy said merrily as she flew to the door, not wanting to leave her guest waiting. She opened the door, where surely enough, Princess Luna was standing.

“Hi Princess,” she greeted, “would you like to come in?”

Princess Luna nodded, and Ditzy moved aside to let her pass. Chell broke the foreboding silence.

“Thank you so much for coming, Princess Luna,” Chell stated.

“I wish this were a happier circumstance,” Princess Luna began, “But I, like Chell, fear the worst has happened to my sister. I know that this would be asking a lot, but I need the help of all you ponies to defeat this monster once and for all, and to save Equestria, as you have done multiple times before.”

Applejack took her hat off and held it over her heart.

“GLaDOS destroyed my farm,” Applejack said, but before she could finish, Rainbow Dash interrupted.

“GLaDOS burned down the Everfree Forest!”

“She kidnapped Twilight,” Spike said, joining in.

“AND SHE KILLED FLUTTERSHY!” Pinkie Pie, who was surprisingly angry, screamed.

“Pinkie Pie,” Rarity rationalized, “Fluttershy’s not dead.”

“I know that,” Pinkie sheepishly replied, “But…” she peeped under her breath, “she might as well be. I miss her.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“We all do,” said Applejack, putting a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.

Chell stepped in front of the group of ponies.

“GLaDOS has taken something from all of us. And she won’t stop until she’s taken everything. That’s why we need to stop her for good!”

“I’m gonna make her taste the PAINBOW!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash as she hit her hooves together, flying high in the room. All heads turned towards the hovering pegasus.

“Rainbow, did you just come up with that ingenious pun?” Rarity asked sarcastically.

“Yes…” Dash said quietly as she lowered herself down.

“But, how can we stop her?” Ditzy asked.

“First, we need to contact Princess Celestia,” said Chell. “Spike said he can send her a letter. Luna, will that be alright with you, considering the likelihood that GLaDOS can intercept it?”

Luna pondered for a moment when she thought about the possible consequence. “I’d say it should be okay, so long as we’re careful not to mention anything that would compromise whatever plans we make. Spike, it would be best if you simply ask the princess how she’s doing, and tell her that we are worried about her.”

Spike put the quill to the parchment and began writing, reading aloud as he did.

“Dear Princess… Celestia, we are all... worried about you. Please let us know how... you’re doing. Sincerely, your friends... in Ponyville.”

“That sounds good,” Luna said.

“P.S. Please let us know... how Twilight is doing… if you see her.” Spike stopped writing. “Okay. I’m done.”

Princess Luna nodded in approval.

Spike inhaled deeply and breathed a gust of green fire onto the parchment, disintegrating it into magical smoke that flew out the nearest window.

The ponies ran outside to see the brilliant sparkling smoke traveling towards the distant mountain range to the south. Princess Luna sighed in relief.

“Well, at least we know that she’s alive,” she said.

They went back inside, where Chell began explaining the plan.

“Okay, so until we hear back from her, this is what I propose we do.”

Chell grabbed a large piece of paper and a pencil and laid it out on the floor. She drew a crude map of the mountain range to the south, then drew a big circle around the bottom of one of the mountains.

“So, Celestia said that GLaDOS is in the tallest mountain in this range, correct?”

Luna nodded.

“Okay, so we’ll portal somewhere around here. Then Rainbow Dash will survey the area to find an entrance. Once we locate it. I’ll go in with just one or two of you, while the rest will wait outside near unlinked portals. I’ll get to her chamber, and then… I’ll just do what I’ve always done in the past with her. She’ll probably try to shoot me with rockets, or bullets, or lasers. Whatever she throws, I’ll fire a portal at the wall, so the attack reflects back to her. It’s so simple.”

“I don’t know, Chell,” Applejack piped, “Don’tcha think she might have picked up on that by now. I think she’d have a little more intelligence than your average supercom-doohickey.”

“Exactly,” said Chell. “She’ll be expecting that, which is why…”

*knock knock knock*

Everypony shot their gazes over to the front door. Ditzy looked through the peep hole and immediately, her jaw hit the floor.

“Who is it?” Chell asked.

Ditzy didn’t answer. Instead, she opened the front door, and in stepped the last pony any of them expected to see.

“Greetings, my friends in Ponyville,” said a solid pink-maned Princess Celestia standing beside a horribly disheveled Twilight Sparkle. “Did you miss me?”

Author's Note:

This chapter has also had some revisions, though not as drastic as in previous chapters.