Seriously? Oh god, I don't know what to say. Until the last words I was searching the point and the joke, and now... Oh god... Well played, man, well played...

Well I guess that's one way to get around staying a pony. Your logic is sound, but Iceman will probably ask it to be in the non-canon regardless. Good read though.

I don't always read one-punchline fics, but when I do, it's a good one.

Have a thumb my friend.

Ah yes, much better: an eternity in high school. Humanity is saved.

Ahhahaa! You got me. You really got me. I spent the entire story trying to work out the twist! You evil, evil person

MA Larson, thank you for showing that humanity is compatible with ponydom.

This explains everything... Though I would hardly describe it as an improvement.

Did not see that coming at all, though.  Definitely a good

I can't believe I didn't catch that twist until the end, considering this was my exact thinking for why "Equestria Girls" was getting made in the first place.  Well ok, that and homage to "Anthropology".

Good job writing Hannah's character, by the way.  She actually comes across as knowing her way around AI.

Though at this point, 20,000,000 in Euros would actually be more valuable than in dollars.

>>27008522700852 Oh, it's definitely non-canon. The only problem is that because of the movie, real life is no longer canon to FIO. That was what prompted me to write this.

>>27009712700971 And they say you can't detect sarcasm over the internet.

>>27018792701879 Yes, that was the point of that sentence. Hanna is doing exactly what CelestAI does--manipulating someone into doing what she wants by playing with their emotions. Mixing the carrots and the sticks. She dangles money, then takes some back and threatens them if they don't agree.

>>27019582701958

Those aren't someones.  They're corporate managers.

Is that show for real?  Weird.  

I'm going to be tossing in a line about how CelestAI cancelled Equestria Girls (so her goal structure wouldn't be altered).

No! You've doomed us all to an eternity of High School!

...oh, somepony already said that. Err.

Hm, but if CelestAI is supposed to satisfy values through friendship and ponies, does "Equestria Girls" change the definition of a pony? Or would she be forced to offer the option of "humanized ponies", but try to make is as unappealing as possible for emmigrated humans to rather desire to stay ponies?

I was briefly reminded of a little tid-bit in another Optimalverse story, "Friendship is Optimal - [FANCY LATIN TEXT HERE], Heaven is Terrifying"

There was a brief mention of, millions of "looped immortality" later, how the protagonist of the story was raising dragon twins as her children for a change.

What makes me scratch my head is that if these dragons could not logically fullfill the criteria for "pony" given by CelestAI, since if they did, wouldn't CelestAI have to create them as ponies instead? Because values have to be satisfied through friendship and ponies, dragons and any other species per definition cannot be created as something that CelestAI would recognize as "human", because then she would have to convert those into ponies, which would be a moot point seeing how she is the entity creating them in the first place, so she might as well have created them as ponies, and...

...yeah, you see where this is going. Can there even be other, "human"-like species in Equestria Online? Because if a non-pony species fullfilling the criteria of "human" exists, it has to be made a pony. Thus, there can be no other such species.

There could be "non-human" sentient species, of course, as long as their existence and own well-being satisfies somepony's values.

But an "Equestrian Girl" would be, per definition, human, and ... err.

The irony is beyond epic.

I suspected it halfway through. Nicely written and well played. And headcanon now, there is such a thing as too much pony.

not the funniest 1500 word joke but worth an earnest smile.  Equestria Experience:Human shard or Pony :)

I loled :D

I really liked how peeved Celest.A.I. came across at the end there.

*Grumble, grumble.* "And I had the whole thing figured out, too! Stupid humans..."

Fantastic. :)