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More Stories12

  • E I Might Have Been

    Maybe I could have been different, but what I've become...I wouldn't trade it for anything.
    8,432 words · 13,347 views  ·  913  ·  19
  • E My Maker

    We all know and love our imaginary friends...but have we ever thought about what we mean to them?
    7,812 words · 4,256 views  ·  249  ·  5
  • E The Eternal Gift

    Reflecting on a choice made ages ago, Spike must wonder... "Might I have been better off?"
    18,619 words · 2,163 views  ·  93  ·  2
  • T The Network

    It only takes one spark for an empire to fall.
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  • T F-F-Fabulous!

    Being Rarity isn't easy. Being Rarity is harder when you're actually a random alcoholic.
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  • E The Veil

    I only wanted to see her again. I only wanted to end the pain of her passing. Was caring such a terrible crime? The endless silence of the void tells me yes. It's the reward I reap for loving her more than my own life. Always to look, never to t
    2,562 words · 480 views  ·  41  ·  2
  • T What's The Point?

    There isn't one.
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  • E Autumn

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Blog Posts55

  • 32w, 5d
    BABScon?

    I know I post before every con, but I'm really always hoping that someone I know is going to a convention. Is anyone heading out to San Fran next weekend for BABScon? Come on guys, make my dreams come true <3!

    2 comments · 83 views
  • 40w, 21h
    Community emergency - read immediately

    2 comments · 119 views
  • 43w, 3d
    What what in the Royal Guard

    5 comments · 96 views
  • 50w, 3d
    Merry Happymus! And two interesting things

    3 comments · 127 views
  • 61w, 2d
    Who's going to Everfree?

    I took all y'alls advice: I'm writing words. Even some sentences, sometimes.

    But that's separate from this. I know this is far as HELL in advance, but who's going to Everfree next year? I'm getting a bunch of my buddies together for a road trip all the way from southern California to Washington, including this guy here. He's wicked cool and we were on panels at EQLA, so we're bros.

    I WANT TO MEET ALL Y'ALL. Writing stuff is cool, but the most fun I ever had in the fandom was at conventions.

    So who gonna be der?

    Yar?

    3 comments · 110 views
  • ...
 68
 5,168

Fear, a misunderstanding... betrayal; it all began with those. Ponyville's most energetic, most joyful, most entertaining occupant... imprisoned behind locked doors and barred windows. Even a consummate optimist wouldn't last long in this place, and yet here she is. Trapped in a world where the only escape is the oblivion of sleep; a rose reverie.

First Published
14th Feb 2012
Last Modified
20th Feb 2012
#1 · 145w, 2d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh:  I'm curious as to why Pinkie is in an insane asylum.  Sure she's crazy, but not dangerous.

#2 · 145w, 2d ago · · ·

>>218859

No need to worry, everything will be explained in time.

#3 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

I dont think i want to read this storyh anymore.... It just makes ME insane...:fluttercry::raritycry:

#4 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Great story.  It's a little slow to start, but anyone who starts to read it should finish it.  

#5 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

I don't know what to think of this story. It certainly didn't squeeze my heart dry like I Might Have Been or The Eternal Gift. But then again it is an entirely different kind of story.

It seems slow, but for me the pacing was just right to properly convey the emotions of the crazy mare and to build suspense. Snails - is it just name coincidence? It's not the same Snails as in the Snips and Snails duo? And yeah, he deserved every bit of what had happened to him, the heartless bastard.

It may be my personal opinion, but I believe the "Sad" tag is a little out of place here. If I were to decide, I would have tagged it "Dark" and "Tragedy". But then again it's your own decision as the author. :raritywink: And if we're speaking about technical details - why is the story, even though it consists of 6 chapters, marked as one chapter here on FimFiction? I don't really thinks it matters that much, but you know - to abide by the rules. :twilightblush:

Lastly - congratulations on being featured on Equestria Daily. :pinkiesmile:

#6 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Wow. Talk about painting a vivid picture in my mind. I started it a little over an hour ago and just didn't stop. It was definitely a tragic ending, in my opinion. One that just doesn't seem fitting for our favorite party pony. I just wanted so badly to just jump in, change the course of the story, and end the story on a positive note. But I guess happiness at the end just wasn't in the cards. :fluttercry:

But I'd say that's the mark of a good story. When you get emotionally dragged into it, and that's pretty much what happened here. Fantastic work with this story. :yay:

#7 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

this is the only fic that has managed to make me cry. :raritycry: :applecry:

good job. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

#8 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Hmmmm... I'm kind of between liking and disliking this story.

The progression was amazing, but I knew that Pinkie did kill him, you gave us so much hints that it wasn't subtle anymore. I never 'clicked' it with Applebloom, Scoots and Sweetie Belle, though.

But the conclusion... I think there was a better way to do it. When Twilight disappeared, I screamed "PLOT TWIST" inside my own mind. Sad to say that it wasn't the truth. The way her mane5 personas dealt with her wasn't the best option... I feel there were other ways for Pinkie to experience her epiphany (don't think catharsis applies here...). Her personas were too... explanatory. They explained a lot to her; more than they should.

And the induced come was just... er- I know that if you pulled an "ALL IS WELL IN THE MAGICAL LAND OF EQUESTRIA" people would scream Deus Ex Machina at you. But you still pulled a "ALL IS WELL IN THE FICTIONAL LAND OF EQUESTRIA", which is better than the previously mentioned ending. This is the kind of story that would be better if left open-ended.

Not to mention the Snails is a murderer thing. Not that I couldn't believe it, but the character seems... flat. There could've been better ways for him to be presented to the readers and a better way for Pinkie to kill him.

* Like your obvious inspiration, Shutter Island. In the film when we near the ending, Teddy/Adrew knows the truth. He didn't regress (as you put it) back to his fantasy. And what tells us this, is his last statement: "Which is better, to live as a monster or to die as a hero?" (or something like this). He tells all of us that he's aware of what he had done, but he prefers to be lobotomized in order to forget what happened; consciously choosing to lie to Dr. Sheehan, calling him Chuck and telling him that he'll get them both out of the island.

I also think the dream sequences could've been better written, exploring a more subjective side of her mind and not blatantly giving the reader the details.

I'll give this story a thumbs up because I enjoyed the read, even if the story was predictable.

#9 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

The ending took my heart, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, burned it, and then chewed it to pieces.

That. was. so. sad.

Bravo.

#10 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

>>399161

He consolidated all the chapters into one story, to make it easier to read, no doubt.

#11 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

I remember this one from Trot's thread--congrats on getting it to EQD!

#12 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

For real. This story is the most emotional I have read in this fandom. Nothing has brought me this close to crying. Well done.

#13 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

That... made me cry. I had to put a hand to my chest to calm myself. You are an excellent writer. And that story...

This is the best story I've read. Ever.

#14 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

>>220237

As in sequel? Or was that "Complete" tag added by mistake?

#15 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

>>399849

A sequel is in the works, but it's not a prologue. As a warning, however, the sequel will be paralyzingly dark. Not gory at all, but significantly more depressing than this.

#16 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

>>399874

Heh. And here I was still on the fence for reading THIS one. :pinkiesad2:

Tracking, just in case. Five Stared over on EqD to counter the wave of reactionary Starbombs it was receiving. Won't rate here until I have actually read it.

#17 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

:fluttercry:

aw man, THIS WAS GOOD! the emotion, the pacing!

even though a certain points i could tell what was happening next

i would still find myself emotional wish for a better outcome for pinkie.

this was awnsome bro, nice job!

#18 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Wow. That was honestly amazing. I saw pretty much ever scene and I didn't see the ending coming, it's going to sit with me for a long time. Thank you for this.

#19 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

It was mysterious and heartbreaking, I was enraptured throughout the entire thing and almost cried. That can only ever mean you are doing something right, keep up the brilliant storytelling.

#20 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

I started tearing up at the end, and I have never cried reading a story before.  This is an excellent story.

#21 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

That was the greatest fanfiction I've ever read, possibly the best anything Ive ever read

there's a tear in my eye right now

I've never been more proud to be a member of this fandom

#22 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Fucking goddamn, man. This made me cry =( Excellent story, wonderful emotion, great pacing.

To think, a year ago I would have never thought a story about technicolor ponies could make me cry.

#23 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Ok. This story seems to suffer a similar problem to 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' and by that I mean that it well written enough, but there isn't any sense of context or empathy for the characters. I read it through, and the first thing I would like to ask is where was Pinkie Pie? I kept trying to trace her behaviour, her vernacular, her thought processes back to the Pinkie Pie I am familiar with, yet I couldn't make a connection between her and the Pinkie Pie of this story. They were two separate characters. It was essentially creating an OC, calling it Pinkie and going from there. The other main 6 all suffered from the same problem. They were all OOC. Their dialogue was completely different. Their actions were completely different. I understand that considering the mature tone of this story that things would be different, but you have to tether their characters to behaviour we have seen. Keep their vernacular the same - make me believe that they ARE those characters, and not OC's you have coincidentally given the same names.

I had another significant issue with this story, and that was its conclusion. I am not going to try and position myself onto a 'moral high ground' and expostulate about euthanasia, but what I will say is this: what happened to Pinkie was a horrific abuse of basic rights. I don't think even the most ardent supporter of euthanasia would have supported what they did to Pinkie. As messed up dystopian societies go, you made Equestria one of the worst. It was atrocious and it was unbelievable.

And one final thing: don't overuse semicolons. You used far too many and while they were always technically correct, they were often completely unnecessary. You show some talent as a writer, this is true (pacing was pretty good, for example), but keep your characters in-character next time.

Keep writing and best of luck!

#24 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

I felt obligated to read this because it uses essentially the same opening sequence as one of my fics. (courtrooms, they are dramatic amirite?) Overall, it was interesting. I like fics that try to explore some darker subject matter. But I have some critiques for you.

Critiques:

-It doesn't really seem essential to run through the same ideas (pinkie's defiant attitude and repression of the memory of the murder) with all the rest of the mane 6. This takes up a lot of real estate in the story, and I think that could be used for other good stuff.

-The twist for Pinkie to have killed Snails seemed obvious yet it was presented as a twist. I think that revelation would have been more shocking if we had a complete picture of an augmented version of the events that Pinkie believes (especially if it seems reasonable). If we the readers felt that it was reasonable for her to believe in her innocence, the twist would be shocking.

-Pinkie seemed remarkably OK with being 'put to sleep' forever. We have allusions in the story to her flipping out. I think maybe this would be an appropriate time for one of those freak-outs (this would probably make the story a lot longer though).

-Pinkie x snails REALLY? :derpytongue2:

You could have at least put one or two little memories/scenes justifying that crazy ship in some way.

Likes:

-The writing style was really good for the subject matter. It genuinely felt like the attitude of someone who had been wrongly accused.

-The ambiance of the mental institution felt pretty spot on too.

-The scenes where Pinkie gets "put to sleep" were pretty intense. My emotions were emotionsing.

#25 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Reading this made me feel really depressed :fluttershysad:

It was an amazing story thought and made me cry to the last ounce :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

#26 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow, this was very powerful and beautiful beyond words... even thought it was words...

Very sad fic. Great job on it. :pinkiesad2:

#27 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

I'm really not sure how people can complain of her being out of character. She's been in a frickin' mental hospital for six years- 'You know what this calls for? A PARTY'  Simply, No. It is a great take on her mind, consider that her psyche has been under attack for this long, the attrition will cause her to act a little 'out of character', you try living in 3 rooms for that long and coming back out with a bubbly personality.

#28 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

this was one of the best stories i have read in a long time, but i imagined pinkie with her straight hair instead of it being curly... it just seems to fit better... and i love how you slowly revealed what happened to get her in the asylum, although i thought Snails was a young colt? why does Pinkie love him?

i loved the ending, it was sadder than having her be executed, which is what i thought was going to happen... to be honest i cried :pinkiesad2:

congrats on being featured on EQD btw, that is where i found this story

#29 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

It feels really, really forced and fake.  For several reasons.

First, ponies with distinctly human names.  Ugh.

Sociopath mass murderer Snails was kind of an unnecessary left-fielder.  The least you could've done was make an OC or pick a background pony who doesn't have an established personality.  Not to mention there's no attempt to explain exactly what he was getting out of almost marrying Pinkie, then killing Sweetie and Scoots.  Without any sort of motive it just feels like a hoof-wavey excuse to stick Pinkie in the nuthouse as expediently as possible so we can get right to the sad ponies.

The asylum doesn't appear to actually be trying to rehabilitate anypony.  It appears the extent of their treatment was to simply shove food and drugs down their throats, then leave them in the cell for the rest of the day -- no support groups, no noticeable form of therapy or counseling, or really any sort of actual attempt to do their job and re-acclimate them to social interaction.  More than that, the living conditions and staff practices going on are about as hilariously irresponsible, inept, and counterproductive as a mental institution can possibly get.  Isolation for long periods of time tends to exacerbate psychoses.  You don't approach cafeteria scuffles with zero-tolerance in a setting where certain patients are there specifically because they explode instantaneously, and certainly not when the other party is a day-one newcomer who doesn't know who's unstable enough to do it.  Supposedly, Pinkie wasn't exactly lashing out at everypony in sight until long after the abuse started to kick in, and you don't put mostly lucid and nonviolent patients on downers.  The kind of heavy stuff that can put a patient in a drooling stupor is not a daily-dose thing.  Period.  Whoever thought it was a good idea to ram heavy-duty narcotics down the throat of a mental patient you're trying to make more lucid -- much less one whose problem wasn't even behavioral -- should have been fired on the spot and blackballed from the practice forever.  Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Pinkie's hallucinations and inability to commit epiphany to long-term memory were caused in large part by the asylum itself bucking her brain chemistry six ways to Sunday.

Now, it feels like you're making it that obviously horrible on purpose for sympathy points, but that brings me to the biggest point -- if it's that obviously bad to us, it would be that obviously bad to Pinkie's friends, too.  I might actually believe a real asylum was that bad.  Up till the end of the 17th century they really were just glorified prisons (though no court in their right mind would send anybody to one for actual recovery like this one did).  Even today, that kind of abuse happens every once in a while -- a particularly bad case happened in Brooklyn just a few years ago.  The thing is though, that kind of lack of accountability festers in places that have no meaningful oversight, and can veneer its practices in front of what little outside exposure it gets.  Institutional abuse runs on closed, isolated circles.  But this one didn't have that isolation.  It had five high-profile national heroes coming often enough to snap their lost little sixth ranger out of it every single week, even going as far as to camp out there for days at a time to keep watch over her.  They've probably seen all this for themselves, much less heard it all from Pinkie's own mouth before, and you can bet your tail Twilight would have obsessed over enough research on the topic to know exactly how much damage was being done.  She could have sent a single strongly-worded letter with a line-item list of offenses to certain royals, who in turn have the authority to bypass most of the obstructive bureaucracy that would've protected the place, and gotten a hell of a lot of licenses revoked and Pinkie transferred somewhere more effective a very long time ago.

It might've been more believable if the asylum wasn't such a cartoonish Evil Inc., or if the Manes were getting stonewalled by the staff.  But there's basically no way you could have both of those happen at the same time.  It just demolishes the framework of the story, and that makes the entire thing feel too dishonest to take seriously.  It turns pathos into bathos.

#30 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

To the author, Josh Meihaus,

I was shocked at the story. It was very good, but, was terribly sad.

But I do have a few questions of the future, none of which are critical to the story:

1. Will Pinkie Pie be the main character in the sequel?

2. If #1 is false, then are we to expect that Pinkie really was euthanized at the end of the story, and that she was simply told the things she was told to keep her calm?

Don't give me the whole overlay of the next one.. I just want these things cleared up about the end of this stoy.

#31 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

>>404938

In the interest of not spoiling it for all (three) of the other people that probably want t read it, I'll shoot the answer over a PM. (Tee hee, self deprecating humor)

#32 · 138w, 14h ago · · ·

An idea I had for a sequel to this is one of two ideas, actually. One, is Pinkie is coming back to reality near the end of her life while two, Pinkie is woken up and is shocked that her dream world was literally a dream. Then breakdown occurs.

So naturally, I'm hyped.

#33 · 138w, 6h ago · · ·

I... I cried. I have never cried for a movie, book, anything. Not even when my cat was put to sleep. And I cried. Why couldn't they wait, and see if she held on this one time? Why? I'm still crying, and I... I... wow. This was heartwrenching. I need to know why. Why this could happen. I understand, but I don't. And what's this about a sequel? Tell me about it, before I go mad too.

#34 · 138w, 6h ago · · ·

>>413051

Yes, there's a sequel in the works. No time soon, however; I want any sequels I write to live up to the original.

#35 · 138w, 5h ago · · ·

Congraulations this has to the one of the best fanfics any brony has ever wrote. And in the end I actually thought Pinkie Pie was going to be free again but then when there was that put you in a better place thing I knew what was coming.:pinkiesad2:

#36 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·

I do have one question, if you don't mind: If that white liquid didn't kill Pinkie, what did it do? She's just in a perma-coma now? How is that anymore humane?

#37 · 137w, 6d ago · · ·

First of all, I don't care if I'm spamming.

This Fic was very good in my opinion, truly emotionally engaging. I didn't cry until the end, but that was probably because it was so varying, not like many of the other sad etc fics I've read. This definetively deserves a favourite!:pinkiehappy:

#38 · 137w, 4d ago · · ·

O.O

This made me shed many tears.:fluttercry::applecry::raritycry:

I started to read this because i had nothing to do.

But not long after I started one of my friends calls me and asks me

to join him in some mmorpgs.

I turned him down because i couldn't stop reading this amazing story.

I have read this MANY times but the outcome is still the same.

I shed tears.:fluttercry::applecry::raritycry:

I thank you for taking time to write this story.

#39 · 137w, 2d ago · · ·

Ow..... My heart.......

#40 · 134w, 5d ago · · ·

I hate you! As in, you made me cry while reading this. And let me say, I never cried reading a fanfiction. It's so emotional and powerful, it just sucked me in. :fluttercry::applecry: I suppose some of the characters were OOC, but considering Pinkie has been in an asylum for years and as time passes, people (or ponies, I should say) mature, I'm not nitpicking on that. It was so good, and it's awesome that you're working on a sequel. :)

#41 · 134w, 3d ago · · ·

Such a bitter sweet ending, wow. I do like that it was not all sunshine and daisy's at the end. It was the best alternative that there could be :')

#42 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

>>405505 Make it four. I read this fic, and while I have my issues with it (the lack of actual attempts at rehabilitation being one of the big ones, the other being that if the other girls knew why Pinkie did it, why the hell are they trying to get her thrown in the slammer/madhouse when they should have been trying to get her some actual psychiatric help for the actual issue, which is simply that she refuses to believe she acted in what actually would have counted as self defense (Snails was threatening her, after all) when she killed him.) I want to know about the sequel beforehand so I can decide if I want to read it. So anything you can shed on it would be fine over PM if you're willing.

#43 · 130w, 2d ago · · ·

This was the fic that made me to stay away from any other sad fic for a large amount of time. I guess you are proud of it... :fluttershbad: :fluttercry: :raritycry: :raritydespair: :ajsleepy:

#44 · 130w, 22h ago · · ·

I cried by the end when Pinkie was being told she was "going to a better place" and everyone was saying their goodbyes. My heart broke, this was a beautifully writin story to me.

You have all my feels! :fluttercry: :raritydespair::pinkiesad2:

#45 · 129w, 2d ago · · ·

I read this fic over 1.5 months ago and I've searched relentlessly for it since

Still doesn't make the heartache better though:pinkiesad2:

#46 · 127w, 1d ago · · ·

>>416417

“You mean I’ve...regressed before?” I ask with eyes the size of saucers.

“Every week,” she confirms tearfully. “Every single week, you would come back to us; you would finally see the truth as it really was! But then, you would always snap back to insanity.”

^^That happened for 6 years. That's 312 times she regressed. Would you let a friend of yours suffer that much? That's why it's more humane. In my opinion anywho.:ajsleepy:

#47 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

I read this story when it premiered on EQD a couple of months back. Let me say this, this is one of the only fics EVER to get me to shed manly tears.:fluttercry: By my count there are only 3 fics to ever accomplish that with me, consider yourself proud sir.:yay:

#48 · 124w, 6d ago · · ·

what i do not seem to understand is that the "humane" way of ending Pinkie Pie's "torture" is to put her in a chemical induced coma? err. why not do the really humane thing and kill her, so she can move on, instead of sleeping her way to a slow grave...

thumbs up because it's really well written,but it's a bit predictable and i didn't understand the coma as explained above...

#49 · 124w, 3d ago · · ·

:raritydespair: Why would you do this to me?!*sobs in a corner*

#50 · 124w, 3d ago · · ·

>>Jake The Army Guy ......I'd hate for you to read My Little Pony: Friendship is  Tragic by Vermillon :ajsleepy:

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