My name is Jayson Rascas and I'm in a bit of trouble. After waking up, I find myself in a forest with nothing but what was in my pockets.
Will I survive?
Will I make it back home?
How am I writing this?
In time dear readers, all things in time.
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First off, this is a human in Equestria fic, and yes the human is me. They say to write what you know and I know myself so I'm sticking with it.
Second, this will feature wingless Twilight. No hate to Twilicorn I just don't know the character or her role nearly as well.
Lastly, this is my first fan-fiction so if it's bad tell me, if it's good tell me, and if it was meh then tell me. Advice, recommendation and criticism is more than welcome.
>.> how get deep-seated Multi-personality disorder in about a month?
You must continue writing. This is a cliffhanger I cannot bear! So much anticipation!!!
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Thank you for waiting, I appreciate your anticipation. I'm almost done with the next chapter and it should be out by the end of the week. I hope you enjoy it.
>>Neiha that sounds awesome. I bet fluttershy's is gonna be pissed at him, at least for a little. I'm also sure rainbow is gonna be her normal self and absolutely NOT trust him for a decent time. If not, meh. Your story. Still gonna be awesome!!!
Ah fuck. A cliffhanger. Now all I can do is IMAGINE all of the questions and reactions the girls will have! Good job my friend. Keep us guessing. This is gonna get interesting
2704964 It would imply he wasn't the most sane to begin with. Not much indication to that in his backstory, but it's the likely conclusion. Just add on isolation, hunger, a need to survive by any means, and the method he uses to do so [the murder of sentient lifeforms, which he recognized on a subconscious level], and you've got a person who gets by relying on other, imaginary "people" to stay alive.
Yup, it make us smile when you all have some mental breakdown, or when Twilight got buried under some anvil or when you all suffer because of the poison Joke ( wich we have created, exactly like you ). In fact WE the scenarist decide when you're going to have a breakdown, it's so much fun.
So awesome to crush your dream of hanging out with Spitfire, or so awesome to Watch you lose your shit in the Young flyer competition, because my people take a lot of joy to make you suffer like this :)
But that's why it's so fun to crush your dream too. After all, you saved the world two time, but we the scenarist make you struggle to have any recognition for that or your design. It's better for our entertainement that you never achieve recognition.
You don't even want to learn why you're an orphan ? It was fun to kill your parents and make you live without them, it add to the entertainement value of the show. But it's true, you're not alive, so you don't care about not having parents, right AJ ?
Wow, why no author point these fact when the cat is out of the bag ? Telling outright to the characters that they're not alive, they are fictionnal, and all their suffering are only plot device for the entertainement of the child of an alien race ?
Maybe because you cannot do it realisticaly ? And that's why the whole Brony in Equestria don't work, it raise too much questions, and no authors can deal with it, instead they sweep everything under the rug, and the story suffer from this.
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I'm gonna guess you didn't enjoy the chapter then?
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The story could be good, except for the whole Brony nonsense inside.
Being a Brony remove a lot of interractions and character construction from the story, because the MC " Know " everything. He didn't have to observe or interract with the ponies, because he already know their personnality and lives.
There is no sentiment of awe from him, being a Brony mean he's not surprised by talking mythical creatures. There's no discovery of a whole new culture of talking ponies, because he already " know " that culture.
And as I said, being a Brony add a whole level of creepy in the story. How are YOU going to react to an alien landing in your backyard, and telling you that you're in a show for their children and that he know everything about you ? I know I'm not going to be ok with this.
Add the fact that for the MC, they are all FICTIONNAL ! Yes the show make us laugh, BUT everything bad happening to the ponies are plot device of scenarist.
AJ parents are dead because the aliens have decided that she need to be an orphan for the story. It's really creepy to learn that somewhere, an alien race has modeled your entire life, and that you're not even aware of it.
Where is the limit of the fiction ?
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I'm not quite constrained to that line of thought but think I understand what you mean and I thank you for pointing that out. Reaction to reaction has always been a weak point of mine and you seem to have pointed out a self-crippling facet of my work. I will strive to mend what I can and make the character interaction more believable.
Thank you for your advice and for voicing your concern.
You're just an asshole.
I like the scene where she turns around and grins at him. A "shit eating grin", HAHAHAHAHA! OMG *wipes a tear from eye* that's fucking PRICELESS!
Welp this human is a submissive bitch i'm just going to downvote this and leave as that
3194271 Welp this comment didn't offer offer critisism of the constructive variety and a weak reason for a down vote. Downvoting comment and leaving as that.
3236558 you can dislike all my comments all you want it will not stop me
If he turns into a pony, I will NOT be happy.
Apart from that, good to see you're updating again.
Ps. Just how much foreknowledge does he have? I don't really recall if you touched on that subject before.
4470249 I want to take the story in my own direction, I've seen my fill of human to pony sets.
Foreknowledge is a trickier question, so I'll just say that I know more than he knows, and he knows more than you know.
Thank you for the feedback and I would encourage you and all others to state anything and everything you may desire in the comments.
4470265 In that case, I hope that you'll include some Blueblood bashing.
And if the situation calls for it, mention some of our achievements and weapons to the sun and moon horses. (They are taller than horses in the show, and are therefore not actually ponies)
Honestly, all I'm requesting is he doesn't turn into a pony.
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Multi-personality disorder doesn't have the main mind know about the others. And which one is the real one, none. All of them are just fragments.
No.
But I'm still reading.